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“I love you,” she choked out again, her voice shrill and broken as she started to feel an excruciating anticipation of her orgasm.
“Erin,” Seth gritted out, muscles rippling in his arms, his shoulders, his neck, his jaw. He was driving into her frantically now, grunting in choppy staccato with the pistoning of his hips. “Baby.”
Erin was almost strangling on the pleasure—her breasts, her ass, her legs, all of her bouncing with the motion of his thrusts. She squeezed her thighs around him. Tried to hold him with her arms, her legs, her pussy. “Love you.”
He let out a loud burst of noise before he was able to stifle it. His body was starting to tense up even more “Erin,” he grunted, clearly close to losing it. “Baby.”
“Love,” Erin cried out, feeling hot and wild and erotic and free and at the same time strangely secure. Her hips pumped desperately, trying to intensify the friction, and she huffed out a series of sounds to their rhythm, sounding like, “Uh huh.”
“Erin,” Seth rasped, the one word a hoarse guttural. His head tossed with a jerk as he tried to hold himself back. Obviously lost the effort as he finally released a hoarse, desperate moan. He pushed into her a few final times, his thrusts hard, choppy, and forceful. “Love...you,” he grunted, before he came with a long shuddering breath.
On his last words, Erin came too, her body spasming around him and beneath him, her body clinging to him in every way she could. The pleasure spiraled out, releasing all of the pent up tension between them.
Then Seth collapsed on top of her, his face for one moment utterly naked. Utterly content. Utterly adoring. And focused entirely on her.
It was unbelievable in so many ways, but Erin couldn’t help but believe it.
She clung to him, loving the feel of his relaxed weight pushing into her. Seth was pressing clumsy kisses into the side of her jaw, and Erin stroked over the raw marks she’d made in his skin.
Still gasping a little, Erin couldn’t even manage to unhook her legs from around him. Instead, she just squeezed him a little. Said one more time, “I love you, Seth.”
Seth made a small, guttural sound—somewhere between a groan, a grunt, and growl. Gave a little push inside her with his softening cock, as if he couldn’t stop himself.
And Erin knew—she knew—that finally letting go of everything she’d been holding back was really worth it.
Seth said against her ear, “I love you too.”
Twenty
Erin couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so hassled.
She was hassled every morning, trying to get Mackenzie up, fed, and relatively content in time for Stella to arrive, which was when Erin could finally rush through a shower and get dressed to go to work.
This morning was worse than normal, though. She’d overslept. Then Stella had called to say she’d be fifteen minutes late. Plus, Mackenzie had been unusually wild, running around and getting into any trouble she could—culminating in a screaming temper-fit when Erin tried to change her diaper. Seth had been wrapped up in a phone conversation since the moment she’d stumbled out of bed.
Which meant, of course, that he hadn't been any help at all.
Not a good morning. Particularly since Erin was having to deal with all of it after downing only half a cup of coffee.
She ignored the outraged screaming that ensued as she began to pull off Mackenzie’s dirty diaper, working around the toddler’s flailing arms and legs.
As she was attempting to wipe Mackenzie’s bottom, Seth came to the door of the nursery and announced that he had to go out of town again that weekend.
Erin whirled around in immediate annoyance, since he’d been out of town the previous weekend too. Deciding she’d better take another swallow of coffee before she told Seth exactly what she thought of this piece of news, Erin took a sip and tried to replace the mug on top of the little bookcase filled with Mackenzie’s books.
Erin should have been paying more attention. She lowered the mug too quickly, slopping coffee all over the antique wood. When she started to move the mug out of the puddle she'd made, the wet handle slipped from her fingers.
She caught it again before it fell to the floor, but the rest of the coffee splashed down onto Mackenzie’s favorite lavender blanket, which had been dropped on the floor in the midst of the temper-fit.
Biting off a curse, Erin managed not to scream. She was about to give a curt reply to Seth’s announcement when his phone rang again, and he stepped away from the doorway in order to answer it.
Erin tried even harder not to scream.
She looked at the mess of coffee on the bookcase and blanket, and she groaned out loud.
Mackenzie was still screaming her head off, and—trying to decide between competing urgencies—Erin quickly put a clean diaper on her daughter and carried her out of the nursery so she wouldn’t see that her favorite blanket was now covered with coffee.
Leaving Mackenzie with Seth, who was still talking on the phone but had at least made it into the kitchen, Erin returned to the nursery to wipe the coffee off the bookcase before it stained the gorgeous wood.
Seth had cleared out one of the guest rooms in his apartment to use as a nursery when they’d moved in with him just after Mackenzie’s first birthday. The new nursery was gorgeous, convenient, and comfortable, and she’d picked out the color scheme and décor, but Erin was always slightly nervous because of the expense of all of the furnishings.
Babies were messy, and Erin had been known to be occasionally clumsy herself. Just imagining the amount of money spent on decorating it—and the damage she or her daughter could conceivably do to it—made Erin feel kind of sick.
She was wiping up the spill when Seth came back into the nursery, evidently finally having finished his phone call.
“You know you don’t have to do that,” he began, his voice cool and slightly impatient. Evidently, he wasn’t in the best of moods himself.
“I made the mess. I can clean it up.” She’d thought it best she not look at him for the moment, or else she might make him the target of her rising annoyance with the world this morning.
Erin finished wiping up her spill and yanked the coffee-stained blanket off the floor in an angry jerk.
Despite her resolve, she had to look in his direction to leave the nursery. Seth was slick and professional in his dark suit and blue tie. He looked as attractive as ever, but she really didn't want to see him at the moment.
Something about his sophisticated appearance just made her mad.
Brushing past him, she took the blanket to the laundry room.
“Erin.” He'd followed right on her heels until he saw that she was turning on the washing machine. “There’s no reason for you to do that. The cleaning service is coming today, and you’re already running late—”
“I know that,” she bit out, whirling around to face him. “But I’m not going to leave it for someone else to do later. Mackenzie will look for it soon, and then Stella would have to put up with her tantrum.”
Seth opened up his mouth to reply, but, before he could speak, Erin slammed the washing machine closed.
“I can do things for myself. I don't like for everything to be done for me.” She had paused in front of him on her way back to the kitchen. Then she continued out, hoping to leave him and this whole topic of discussion behind her.
Obviously, Seth wasn't ready to drop it yet.
“It’s their job,” he said, walking with her. “They’re paid well and treated respectfully. No one is being taken advantage of.”
“I know that. That wasn’t my point.”
She still wore her pajama pants and a sweatshirt, since the morning was chilly and she hadn’t gotten to take a shower yet. Stopping abruptly, she asked, “Where’s Mackenzie? You were supposed to—”
“She’s fine,” Seth murmured, rubbing a frustrated hand through his hair. “She was playing with—”
Mackenzie appeared in the kitchen at that moment, scampering toward them
clumsily. She was walking better now, and she’d even learned to run short distances without falling.
At the moment she was incongruously naked from the waist down and carrying a diaper.
The new diaper Erin had just put on her.
“She took her diaper off.” Erin sighed, trying not to groan in frustration. “When did she learn to do that?”
“I don’t know. Although—”
“Do you mind catching her and putting on a diaper and clothes before she pees all over your rugs? I’ve got to get her breakfast together, and I’m running out of time.”
Seth pressed his lips together—obviously not happy about the general state of the morning—but he moved toward Mackenzie, who had started wobbling toward the nursery, waving the diaper in front of her.
Erin got a new cup of coffee. Sipped it and tried to calm down her agitated nerves. Then she got the Cheerios out for Mackenzie and poured milk into a sippy cup.
In just a minute, Seth came into the kitchen, hauling a dressed and happily squealing Mackenzie over his shoulder. He put her in her highchair and then went to pour himself a cup of coffee.
Erin gave Mackenzie her milk and Cheerios and then watched as the toddler started to clumsily pick up O by O and stick them dutifully into her mouth.
Mackenzie had grown a lot in the last six months. She was a pretty little girl with big blue eyes and round, rosy cheeks. Her hair was still reddish gold, and it had gotten a lot thicker and now waved into little kinks around her face. Erin had long ago resigned herself to the fact that her daughter was going to look more like Seth than like her.
Joining her at the counter, Seth said in a low voice, “Erin, there’s no reason for us to go through this same hassle every morning. We can hire a live-in nanny, who would watch Mackenzie while—”
“I don’t want a live-in nanny,” Erin snapped, speaking softly as well, so Mackenzie wouldn’t hear. “You know that. Stella is our nanny, and she doesn’t want to—”
“Well, we could ask her to come earlier in the mornings.” Seth’s jaw was clenched in a sure sign that he wasn’t happy with her. “You’re late to work almost every morning, and half the time I—”
“If you don’t want to mess with us in the mornings,” Erin forced out, still keeping half an eye on Mackenzie, “then you can get up at five and head to your office. You do that half the time anyway. This is what happens when you have a daughter who’s sixteen months old.”
Seth just gave her a cold glare.
“Dada,” Mackenzie said suddenly. "Ohs."
They both turned to focus on their daughter in her highchair and saw that she was holding out a couple of Cheerios toward Seth.
“Thank you,” Seth said politely, his face changing as he addressed Mackenzie. “But those are your Cheerios. You’d better eat them yourself.”
Studying the proffered cereal intently, Mackenzie shifted her hand toward Erin instead. “Momma,” she offered.
Erin smiled, her annoyance fading temporarily. “Thank you, pumpkin. That’s very sweet, but don’t you want them yourself?”
Mackenzie frowned thoughtfully and stuck her hand out to Seth again, “Dada ohs!”
With a sigh, Seth stepped over to take them. “Thank you. I’ll eat these if you’ll eat the rest.”
Mackenzie watched observantly as Seth brought the four Cheerios to his lips. When she saw him put them in his mouth and start chewing, she once more started placing the rest—which were spread out on the tray of the highchair—into her mouth.
Seth returned to stand in front of Erin. He kind of loomed before her, trapping her between his body and the counter. Looking down at her from only inches away, he murmured, almost under his breath, “Is there something you’d like to say to me?”
“No,” she whispered. “I’ve said what I wanted to say. This is the way it works with a kid. It’s normal. I don’t care how much money you have—I’m not going to let someone else do everything, particularly raise our daughter. I told you that when we moved in.”
She glanced over toward Mackenzie.
Seth reached out and took Erin by the upper arms, bringing her attention back to him.
But before he could speak, Mackenzie started whimpering. She had a couple of Cheerios stuck to her hands, but she was holding out both arms toward Erin. Her face had started to crumple up. In the midst of her whimpers, Erin could hear her mumble out, “Momma.”
Understanding immediately, Erin hurried over to the highchair. “Mommy’s all right. Mommy’s not sad.” She made herself smile and sit down in a chair so she was on Mackenzie’s level. “Mommy and Daddy are happy. Happy.”
Mackenzie smiled in response, her little face relaxing in relief, and she offered Erin one sticky hand. Erin wiped it down with a napkin and said, “Are you finished with your Cheerios? Do you want more?”
“Mo!” Mackenzie pronounced, looking up at the counter expectantly.
Seth poured out a few more Cheerios and laid them on the tray of the highchair. After he put the box down, he turned back toward Erin. Asked under his breath, “Erin?”
She shook her head. Had not the time, energy, or desire to deal with all of this now. She was more than a half-hour late as it was. “We can talk about it later. I can’t be late again.”
Glancing at his watch, he raised his eyebrows. Then skimmed his eyes over Erin’s flannel pajama pants, sweatshirt, and bare feet. “It’s almost eight o’clock already. You’re going to have to hurry.”
Rolling her eyes, Erin muttered sarcastically, “Really?” Then, trying not to jump down Seth’s throat over every little thing, she mumbled, “Sorry.” She turned toward Mackenzie. “Sweetie? Are you finished with your Cheerios?”
Mackenzie nodded resolutely. “Ohs.”
“Yes. Your ohs. Are you done?”
Mackenzie paused. Then nodded again. “Ess.”
With a sigh of relief, Erin lifted her daughter out of the high chair. She couldn’t help but smile when Mackenzie snuggled affectionately against her. Hugging her tightly, Erin whispered, “Mommy loves you. Lots and lots.”
“Momma,” Mackenzie mumbled, her face rubbing against Erin’s shoulder. “Ots.”
“Lots,” Erin repeated, giving her daughter one more squeeze. “Lots and lots.”
“Ots.” She was fisting Erin’s sweatshirt in her hands.
Seth watched them silently, and Erin had to look away from the expression in his eyes.
She just couldn’t deal with any sort of emotion this morning.
When she put Mackenzie onto the floor and straightened up again, Seth had returned to his usual cool efficiency. “I need to get to work. I’m already late.”
“You're not the only one. I have to go answer phone calls and make coffee.” She scowled as she spoke, feeling a rise of bitterness in her throat.
“There’s no sense in complaining about it. If you don’t like your job, then quit and find another one.”
Erin didn’t like her job. Not anymore. Not since she’d been transferred to the Clerk of Court’s office because of her relationship with Seth.
She’d never blamed him for that. But she did blame him for so blandly telling her to quit, as if he didn’t know what her job meant to her.
“What the hell else am I supposed to do,” she snapped.
Seth’s face was tense and unpleasant. “Do whatever you want. There's no reason to continue in a job that makes you miserable. Surely there’s something you can do that will make you happy. You know you don’t even have to—”
“Don’t even suggest it. I’m not going to stay home. I’m not going to quit.”
“I don’t understand this, Erin. You hate your job now. You come home miserable every evening. As far as I can see, there’s nothing about it you like at all. Why do you insist on holding onto it?”
For some reason, the question hit home. She turned away, toward the wall, shaking as she tried to control herself.
She didn’t want Seth to see. Or Mackenzie.
“Please tell me,” he murmured.
“It’s my job. It’s mine,” she made herself say. “It’s not good anymore, but it’s mine.”
“I know it’s yours, baby, but I still don’t understand.” He sounded almost helpless.
It was the helplessness she heard in him that pushed her into speaking the words. “I can’t give it up. I can’t give up everything. Not again.”
She’d given up law school and all of her career goals when she’d married Marcus, and she’d gotten nothing in their place.
Her rational mind knew Seth wasn’t like Marcus. And she was convinced she had more now than she’d ever had before.
She’d stopped holding back—so much—but the job was still a stronghold, something that couldn’t be taken.
She shouldn’t need it anymore. She knew she didn’t need it.
But she still didn’t want to let it go.
With a rough sound in his throat, Seth pulled her into his arms. She shook against his chest, smothering the unexpected wave of emotion.
“Just tell me what you need me to do,” he said against her hair.
“There’s nothing,” she replied, managing to pull herself together and draw back. “You can’t fix this, Seth, and we don’t have time to talk about it now anyway.”
His eyes scrutinized her, bore into her soul. He must have seen something there that gave him enough assurance to let the subject go for now.
“We’ll talk about it tonight.” He looked at his watch. “I really do need to leave.”
“Is there any way,” she said slowly, trying her best to be reasonable, “that you can stay for a few more minutes so I can start my shower. Stella’s going to be late.”
Seth hesitated. Looked at his watch again. Now that the emotional crisis was averted, he clearly wasn’t excited about delaying his work day.
He was actually pretty good about doing his share with Mackenzie, but he also had a very committed attitude toward his work. All he said now was, “All right. I don’t have a meeting first thing this morning. Just don't take too long.”