Determinant, a YA Paranormal Romance (Book 3 of The Guardians of Vesturon)

by A. M. Hargrove

  “I’m such a complete and total mess Rykerian. I have issues bigger than that mountain over there. No one with an ounce of sense would want anything to do with me.” She gathered her blanket around her and started walking toward the house.

  “Then I must not have an ounce of sense January,” I whispered.

  She stopped, turned around and gave me the saddest of smiles. “Why? You…you have a grand life filled with people who genuinely care for you. You need someone worthy of you and trust me, it’s not me.” She turned back around and headed in the direction of the house, but her blanket had wrapped around her ankles, causing her to stumble.

  My Power of Speed had me scooping her up before her body could reach the stone terrace.

  I tried, I truly did, but before I could prevent myself, my lips descended on hers. They were so soft and velvety and she tasted of the sweetest of honey mixed with the salt of her tears. And her scent...all citrus and fresh smelling... Sweet Deity, please do not ever let this end! When I felt her arms inch around my neck, my heart soared in ecstasy. At that moment I realized I had been lost my whole life but I had finally found where I belonged—in January’s arms.

  I tore my lips away from hers, my breath ragged with passion. This ghost of a female had not only stolen my heart but also my soul. I had watched her from a distance, longing for the slightest of touches or the briefest of words, knowing if they ever happened, I would be lost. Never in my wildest of dreams had I imagined my feelings would be this intense.

  Her pale blue eyes beckoned to me in a way I could not describe. I rested my palm on her cheek and whispered to her, “Do you know how beautiful you are? You have bewitched me beyond my wildest dreams. I am lost to you.”

  I tangled my fingers in her hair and touched my lips to hers again. The current that seared me was electrifying. I gasped with pleasure at the myriad of sensations coursing through me. A thought flew into my mind and that was Maddie had been right all along. I had never loved her. This was far beyond any feeling I had ever experienced.

  I reluctantly pulled my lips away from hers and stared into her eyes.

  “You’re making the biggest mistake of your life. You know that don’t you?”

  A nervous chuckle escaped from me. “This is the only thing in my life that has ever made sense to me.”

  She reached her hand to my lips and traced them with her fingers. I closed my eyes in bliss, reveling in the feel of her touch. I had been searching for this for an eternity it seemed.

  “Please, don’t.”

  What? No! Please don’t say no!

  “Please don’t close your eyes Rykerian,” she whispered.

  My eyes flew open to see her staring at me.

  “They are the most beautiful and unusual eyes I have ever seen. Your pupils are…different. And your eyes are intense...so impossibly blue and warm. I feel as though I can see your soul through them. I want to look into them forever.”

  I couldn’t speak, so filled with emotion I was at her words. I shook my head. No one had ever said such things to me. I swallowed the knot in my throat and smiled at her, then I managed to whisper, “The same could be said for yours.”

  “You know, you would be smart to put me down, walk away and never look back,” she murmured.

  How could she think that? I had just found her!

  “Like I said, I am a ginormous mess, Rykerian. You need someone who’s worthy of you. It isn’t me. I’m not worthy of much of anything, but especially you.”

  I placed my fingers on her mouth. I could not bear to hear her say such things.

  “You are more than worthy of me. I should apologize for kissing you as I did, but I will not for I have no remorse for doing so. I am selfish for you January. I have wanted to hold you close to my heart from the first moment I saw you.” I shook my head at the memory. “It was a few months ago and you were driving on the highway between Waynesville and Sylva. You had fallen asleep and your car was careening toward the guardrail. I frightened you when I appeared in your car. I had you pull off the road and by that time, you were alert.”

  “What are you talking about? I don’t remember that!”

  “I know. I am sorry but I had to erase your memory.”

  “What do you mean, ‘erase your memory?’” How’d you do that?”

  “Well, I was hoping we could have this conversation with Maddie present because she could help in providing explanations. As I have said before, I am Vesturion…not human. I know you do not believe it as the truth, but it is so.”

  “Uh huh. You’re gonna have to do better than that.” Her eyes clouded with doubt, but her words urged me to continue.

  I carried her back to the couch and gently sat down, placing her on my lap and holding her in my arms. I continued, “We come from the planet Vesturon which is in a different galaxy from Earth. We are Guardians and that is why we are here. We pledge to keep all life forms safe from harm and we have protected humans for centuries. Though humans are not the only beings we protect. My father is the Great Leader of Vesturon and he is an integral part of keeping order in the universe.”

  “Okay. So you’re serious about all of this and you’re not kidding, right?”

  “Not kidding at all.”

  “Well, I knew there was something strange going on here, but I never imagined it was this,” indicating she was trying to process this information. “I didn’t believe you before but it all adds up now.”

  “I never thought I would be telling you this tonight,” I said with astonishment.

  “Can you tell me more?”

  “Does this frighten you?”

  “Not really. Well, maybe a little. Okay...yeah, it scares the hell out of me. I kept trying to put the pieces together into something that made sense but I kept striking out.”

  “Does this mean I am no longer E.T.?” I teased.

  A reluctant smile tugged at her lips. “I think you are more like Luke Skywalker. But, can you blame me? This is all sort of farfetched.”

  I lifted her hand and placed a kiss in her palm, then laced my fingers with hers.

  “Oh January, there is ever so much to tell, but I will do my best to appease you. You know how you asked about erasing your memory? Well, Vesturions are gifted with many powers. For instance, some of us have the Power of Speed, which allows us to move extremely fast.” I watched her closely for a reaction. Her eyes widened in question at my revelation.

  “How fast? Like you did when you carried me back here?”

  “Yes, but I didn’t go nearly as fast as I could then because I knew it might make you ill. We can move fast enough that I would only be a blur to human eyes. However, that is only the beginning. Some of us are gifted with the Power of Tranquility. Do you remember when I touched you and you felt much calmer?”

  “Yes! I thought it was kind of weird when that happened. I was so freaked out by that robot thing, but the next minute I was waking up from a nap. I couldn’t figure that one out.”

  “That was Tranquility. I also have the Power of Obliteration. That is the capability to erase one’s memory. That is what I used the night I saved you in the car. And my ‘unusual’ eyes…my pupils become elliptical at night, allowing me to have keen night vision.”

  I was feeding her small bits of information and gauging her reactions. I wondered when I should stop, for eventually I would have to tell her of her genetics. I agonized over her acceptance of this.

  “What’s wrong?” She was very observant. I had blocked my mind so she could not infiltrate my thoughts.

  “There is much I must tell you but I would like to wait and have Maddie present. Please don’t be angry at her January. Things happened that she could not prevent and hopefully, everything will become clear to you when you hear the full story. I am terribly sorry for how it affected you, but please don’t judge her. Maddie’s story is hers and hers alone to tell, but I will say this. She is the most unselfish person I know. So please, I beg of you to give her the benefit of the do
ubt until you hear her story.”

  Her large and beautiful pale eyes bored into mine and she placed her slender hand on my shoulder and nodded in agreement. “Okay, we’ll speak with her in the morning. For whatever reason I trust you Rykerian and that’s not normal for me.”

  “Please tell me why you are this way January...why you are so sad. I want to help.”

  She shook her head and began, “I had a rough time growing up you might say.”

  She told me of her family life and when she finally stopped speaking, I felt a tremendous urge to teleport to her parents home and destroy them both singlehandedly. I was unprepared for the shroud of fury that descended upon me. I was instantly on my feet, pacing.

  “Rykerian, please stop,” she urged.

  She knew my emotions were running unchecked. She came to me and placed her hands on my arms. I felt myself trembling with rage.

  “Rykerian, they aren’t worth these feelings you’re having. Please calm down. You’re starting to scare me.”

  Those words grabbed my attention. Frightening her was the last thing I wanted. In fact, I never wanted her to feel frightened again. She stared at me wide-eyed and her translucent skin was even paler than usual. I forced myself to inhale and regain control of myself. I envisioned a tiny child, in her bed shaking with fear and wanting nothing more than her mother’s comfort, but being denied that basic thing. Not once but many times over. What kind of a mother would do that to her child?

  I opened my arms to her and she all but flew into them. She was but a slip of a thing, her head hitting me at my chest, and she barely weighed more than the blanket she was holding.

  “January, your days of being frightened are over. I will never let harm come to you as long as there is breath within my body. This I swear to you.”

  “I’ve never told anyone my story before,” she puzzled. “I’ve surprised even myself by telling you this.” I could feel her warm breath on my chest as she spoke.

  “January, if I could remove your pain from all of this, I would gladly do so.”

  “I know. I think I believe you when you say that,” she said in amazement. Then she looked up at me and cocked her head and asked, “Why me Rykerian? I mean, of all the girls, why me?”

  “I do not understand what you ask.”

  “Look at you. You’re…er, well, you’re gorgeous to be honest. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone quite like you.” She furrowed her brow as she gestured toward me. She thinks I am gorgeous?

  I smile crept across my face. “I am pleasing to you?” Sweet Deity, let her say, ‘yes!’

  She snorted! “Um, yeah, that would be an understatement. Guys like you never give me a second glance. Why me?”

  “I must say that I am confused by your question.”

  Why would human males ignore this beauty?

  “Do you still believe you are not worthy of me? Because I am here to tell you that you are. You are worthy of any male that would treat you accordingly. So please explain your question to me January.”

  “I just meant, well, look at me. Then take a long look in the mirror. You’re...hmm, well you’re perfect! Surely, you have to realize that! And I’m such a...a dweeb with weird eyes and white stringy hair and nothing but skin and bones. Seriously Rykerian. I don’t understand all this.”

  I placed my hands on either side of her head, tipping it back so I could look into her eyes. “Ah January, I know not what you see when you look in the mirror, but I do not see that person you described. Let me tell you what I see. I see a female with the most beautiful, beguiling and unusual pale blue eyes I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes upon. They hypnotize me with their loveliness. And that female has hair spun from the finest of silver and gold. It is silky and soft and I can barely keep myself from constantly touching it.” I picked up a lock of her hair and twisted it about my fingers, raising it to my lips, luxuriating in its silken texture. “That alone would certainly be enough to entice any male with the tiniest of brains. Add to that, that very same female possesses the sweetest lips, velvety soft to the touch that taste like the most perfect ambrosia ever created. And I know that as a fact for I have been the most fortunate of males, as I have tasted those lovely lips. She is nothing short of perfection in my eyes. However, she is right on one account. She does need some fattening, and I am going to see that happen!”

  With every word, her eyes brightened and she looked at me in amazement.

  “Seriously? I mean do you honestly feel like that? You wouldn’t be just saying that, trying to make me feel better about what I told you and all?”

  “January, my January. I would never say things that are not the truth. You see, it is against my very being to tell a lie. So what you hear from my lips are my own true feelings. If you would like, I can open my mind to you so you can hear my thoughts.”

  I removed the block and let my emotions show themselves to her. I watched her eyes widened with shock. I was baring my soul to this creature and I stood to lose so much if she rejected me, but I had to do this in return for what she had told me about her past. I knew it was the only way she would trust I was being honest with her.

  “How can this be? You barely know me?” she whispered.

  My voice was hoarse with emotion as I said, “It is the way with Vesturions. Our souls tend to find our soul mates for us. It has nothing to do with me seeking you out in the physical sense. My soul happened upon yours and I have not been the same since,” I smiled ruefully. “I tell you this not to frighten you, but so you will know I will only ever have your best intentions at heart. My feelings are true January. So, that female you see in the mirror is a much different one than the one I see standing before me.”

  She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her body against mine. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

  “The hour grows late and I believe it best you get some rest. You are still recovering from your illness and have yet to regain your strength. Come, let me escort you to your room.”

  She placed her hand on my arm and I walked her upstairs. When we reached her door, I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Good night sweet January.”

  Chapter 8

  The next morning, I woke early and went in search of January’s clothing that I had brought to the Compound the day I had found her in the forest. She was in need of something to wear, other than her hospital attire.

  I knocked on her door and I heard her say, “Come in.”

  “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

  “I did. And you?”

  “January, I had many sweet dreams, though none were as delightful as you are this morning. I have brought you something.”

  She glanced at the stack of clothing I was carrying in my arms and her eyes lit up.

  “I am sure you are over tired of your hospital clothing so I thought you might want to wear some of these. Zanna has laundered and pressed them. They are yours that I brought here from your vehicle. Maddie and I would like for you to join us in the kitchen for some breakfast. Zanna is making some of her famous pancakes and they are guaranteed to stick to your ribs!”

  She smiled and nodded, “I would love that. Let me change and we can go.”

  Several moments passed and she finally reappeared wearing a pair of jeans that were too large and a sweatshirt.

  “I am afraid this will have to do. Most of my things were so big I couldn’t keep them up,” she said in a small voice. “I guess I must have lost weight from being sick.”

  “Come here.”

  When she stood next to me, I tightened her belt a notch and rolled up her sleeves.

  “There! Now you look perfect!” I exclaimed.

  She made a silly face at me and I laughed. “Well, I think you do and it matters not what you think! Come, let us go and eat.”

  I took her hand and she followed me into the kitchen where Maddie was already seated and munching on a mouthful of pancakes. When she saw January, she squealed and jumped up to give her
a hug.

  “Oh January, I am so glad you wanted to eat with us! I have tons to tell you and I hope you will bear with me and listen.”

  “After my talk with Rykerian last night, I do want to find out Maddie. I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday too. I don’t want to make excuses, but I’m still kind of in shock over all this. You look so different!”

  “I know. I’ll explain everything. But please sit and eat some of these pancakes. Zanna makes the best ones ever!”

  As we sat and ate, I was happy to see January smile occasionally. She gobbled up several pancakes and when she was finished, she sat back sipping on her coffee and listened to Maddie tell her story.

  “So January, after I disappeared, I lived here for a time until Rayn went to trial. I was forbidden to contact anyone in keeping with the Vesturion covenants. You see, Rayn took me to Vesturon to mend my severed spine and because of that, I had to break all ties with everyone on Earth. It would simply have been impossible to explain. And that’s also why Rayn was imprisoned—because he basically broke Vesturion law when he took me there to be healed. I wanted to contact you and I thought about you and Cat all the time. I hope you understand.”

  “I can see that now though I wish there had been some way. So what happened after the trial?”

  Maddie gave her the long version, but told her how she found out her parents both came from Vesturion backgrounds. January’s mouth fell open with that revelation.

  “I know, isn’t it bizarre?” Maddie asked. “They never got around to telling me either. I found out because, of all things, my mom came to me in a dream and told me about my mark!”

  “Your mark?” January wanted to know.

  “Yeah, everyone with any Vesturion blood in them has a mark somewhere on their body. It’s a triangle with a crescent within it. Anyway,” she waved her hand and continued speaking, “then Rayn went to trial and was found not guilty, I moved to Vesturon and became a Guardian and after a few major issues, Rayn and I got married!” Maddie gushed as a blush spread across her cheeks. I don’t think she wanted to get into all the complications she and Rayn had to work out before their unification.