by C. J. Anaya
I had not spent much time in that particular area. I wasn’t interested in looking at the destruction my father had wreaked upon a place that had once held so much potential for helping those that dwelled within the Kagami Empire. I tended to avoid the shrine and temple due to the god that it served.
According to history and tradition, Musubi-no-kami was the god who was given dominion over the hearts and unions of the inhabitants of this earth. Humans in this empire could travel to the shrine and find The Holy Cherry Tree, a relic of magical properties used by the god of love and marriage, to bind soul mates together forever. One only needed travel to The Holy Cherry Tree, declare their choice of bride and ask for Musubi’s blessing in the form of a single white cherry blossom. If this particular kami found the match acceptable, the blossom would fall from the branches of the tree and be used in the wedding ceremony, binding the participants to one another for eternity.
One might think it a romantic notion, but I knew better. The brides in question never had a choice, and though it was rumored that there were many occasions where the god denied his blessings upon certain unions, I had a difficult time believing it. Musubi-no-kami may have been a god, but he was also male and probably cared very little for the wants and needs of the women involved. Their fate could be sealed with one single blossom, just as mine could.
I’d never before met this particular kami, and if I were being honest with myself, I had very little desire to. Part of his duty and honor involved giving my union to Katsu his blessing by performing the marriage ceremony himself. I disliked the idea of yet another kami gaining power over my decisions and forcing me into a marriage I wasn’t ready to accept. As a result, I never ventured toward the ruins, the Shinto temple or The Holy Cherry Tree.
Though I held some reservations about the area in which Akane and I would meet, I felt my whole body tingle in anticipation of tonight’s meeting. It was a step in the right direction. I walked over to my nightstand and opened a drawer decorated in finely carved floral patterns. I pulled out two fire stones and sat the piece of parchment on the stand. After striking the stones together and igniting the small bit of parchment, I watched as the ends blackened and curled in upon themselves, burning away any trace or sign of this new beginning.
I was in control now, and it felt just as liberating as I’d hoped. I needed to get a message to Kenji. My guards were not allowed to let me leave my rooms unless summoned—new security measures due to the attack last night—but I had a feeling these particular guards would allow me to visit my brother’s tutoring session for a word with Kenji.
I opened my door softly.
“If I am to keep my commitments for this evening it will be necessary for me to visit my brother and his tutor first,” I whispered. I hoped my wording was obscure enough to avoid raising any alarms if the area held a spy or two but pointed enough for them to understand my meaning. One guard nodded and pulled the door wide. I stepped forward and began walking meekly down the hall with a guard on either side. I found it wholly ironic that for the first time in my whole life I felt more secure with two rebels surrounding me than I ever did with the palace guards.
After several twists and turns throughout the great expanse of the palace, we soon reached the door to my brother’s quarters, and the guard knocked lightly.
“Her highness wishes to visit her brother,” one of the guards said only loud enough for my brother and Kenji to hear through the door. It opened up quickly, and I stepped in just as fast. I noticed that Kenji stood behind the door with a surprised look on his face. I waited until the door closed behind me, certain we were not being listened to.
“Why on earth are you being accompanied by your guards, Mikomi?”
“Apparently, Katsu insisted my security was lacking, and now I have guards following me everywhere. Fortunately for us they are on our side.”
Saigo clapped happily.
“This is all so exciting. Nothing like a bit of intrigue to liven up any tutoring session—eh, Kenji?”
Kenji sat down at the table with a sigh. “I’ll probably be dead long before you learn anything of real value.”
I might have joined in the banter, but I wasn’t there for my own amusement, and I needed to enlist Kenji’s help before my tutoring session with Katsu.
“Kenji, I have received a message from Akane. She wishes to meet me at the Yanbaru ruins this evening.”
“And so it begins,” Saigo intoned dramatically.
“Can you discuss my need to further study the veil with father as soon as possible?”
“It isn’t much notice, but your father rarely turns down an audience with me. I will send the request immediately, and with any luck he’ll be too distracted to see through this fabrication.”
“Thank you, Kenji.”
Kenji left the room, and I sat down at the table next to Saigo. I placed my shaking hands in my lap and decided to help my brother with his studies.
“You’d better continue your reading. Kenji will come back and be very disappointed if you’ve fallen too far behind.”
“You’re just afraid Kenji will blame you for distracting me.” We both laughed softly, and then our moods grew serious.
“You will be careful out there, won’t you?”
“I will be on high alert, and if anything happens to me I can always heal quickly.”
“I hope that wasn’t you trying to comfort me? Because you’re quite terrible at it.”
I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’ll be careful. Now, let’s focus on something else…like this tutoring session.”
I needed to take my mind off my meeting with Akane or I would be driven completely mad with anticipation.
Now, if I could just survive my training session with Katsu.
Chapter Seven
I’m not sure why I took such care with the state of my dress and appearance. I was merely going along with this farce until I could break away and become my own person, but keeping up appearances seemed important now more than ever. It had nothing to do with the fact that Katsu was quite a handsome individual…for a kami. I smoothed down my black tresses and ran a hand down the length of my silk green kimono. I may have changed into clothing the color of what Katsu had claimed was his favorite.
I entered the gardens with my guards accompanying me and continued ahead without them as they stood watch over the area. The gardens looked especially beautiful in the sunlight, though the sky looked slightly overcast. It was hard to believe that something as ugly as nekomata had ever placed one foot upon these lovely grounds.
I spotted Katsu sitting on the blinding white bench next to the pond. The moment his eyes met mine they seemed to warm ever so subtly. I almost smiled at the idea that he might have been happy to see me, but then his face changed and there was his stoic mask again.
I wasn’t sure where the Katsu that had come to my rescue the night before had gone. Where was the Katsu who had defended me against my father? The one who had gently wiped the blood from my face and held me close when we were deep in conversation? He had built an impressive wall around his emotions which prevented me from reading him as easily as others. I couldn’t account for his behavior since I couldn’t read the emotions driving him, and so I was determined to school mine.
And now here we were, back in the gardens where he and I had had our first real conversation; also the place where I was almost killed…and the place where he promptly forgot about me once the guards had shown up.
My beautiful gardens were now tainted.
Katsu stood as I approached, and I nearly stopped my laborious tread. I had forgotten how very tall he was, and how broad his shoulders were. He wore a warrior’s vest of brown leather and brown trousers…nothing like the traditional style of clothing that my father wore, complete with kimono, jacket, and split skirt. I guessed as a warrior god you had to wear what gave you more freedom of movement. I tugged on the confining fabric of my kimono and longed to be a man.
“Mikomi,” he said, bowing from the waist.
I bowed and then waited in that same position.
“You may rise, Princess. You needn’t be so formal with me.”
I refrained from voicing my thoughts and merely rose from my bowing position.
“Tell me what you know about the veil,” he commanded.
“Very little, I’m afraid. All I know is what the prophecy has stated.”
Katsu looked at me in surprise.
It irked me that my ignorance had become so painfully obvious or that I might care about his regard for me.
“So little, Mikomi? Were you never allowed to touch the veil when healing someone?”
“I…I…never knew I could. I didn’t think it possible to access the veil when healing someone.”
Katsu took my hand and bid me walk with him on one of the winding paths through the foliage.
“In truth, the veil is all around us because the land of the dead is here, but in a different dimension. You’ll be able to sense it the same way that I can once you have had a feel for it during a healing. You will also be capable of noticing where the veil’s weaknesses lie based on its texture. When weak, the veil bends easily, like glass under extreme temperatures, but when the veil is at its strongest it will feel like an impenetrable wall. It won’t matter if you have to travel halfway around the world to strengthen it…you’ll be able to sense where it needs to be fortified once you connect to it.”
I nodded and pretended confidence where none was felt. I found it difficult, picturing myself sensing anything other than someone’s ki.
“Now, in order to sense the veil you will need someone to practice on.”
I felt anxious all of a sudden. “Surely you don’t mean to injure yourself so that I might heal you?”
Katsu looked confused for a moment, and then his face cleared.
“No, practicing on my person would be wholly useless. There is no veil to sense when healing a kami.”
“I don’t understand.”
“A kami is immortal, and you cannot gain access to the veil with our ki because the veil is for those people who are meant to die.”
I absently plucked an oval-shaped leaf hanging from a tree we were passing and worried it between my hands as I contemplated this new information.
“We will find someone who is mortal for you to practice on.”
I grabbed his arm without thinking. He looked down at my hands and back at me, and I dropped them immediately. I could have sworn he had been about to hold my hand in his, but for whatever reason he stopped himself. I thought I saw some intense emotion flash across his face, but then it was gone. It was frustrating. He was extremely adept at shielding his emotions.
“I…I’m sorry…I just wonder if it is safe. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone.”
Katsu took another moment to compose himself. Somehow, he had managed to build up a wall that my empathic abilities couldn’t penetrate.
“The man you will be practicing on is already very ill and will soon die. There isn’t anything you could do that would possibly inflict more damage.”
Katsu motioned with a flick of his finger, and two guards materialized out of nowhere, carrying a frail looking man with tattered, soiled clothing. They carefully placed him on the grass before me.
I knelt down by his side and grabbed his hand. He looked at me, but didn’t actually see me. The pupils and irises of his eyes were covered with a thin milky substance. His gnarled, bony hand gripped mine with surprising strength. I sensed his fear as he reached out with his other hand. Did he not understand the reason for which he’d been brought here?
“Where did he come from?” I asked, horrified.
“I believe he was found in the village a few miles north of here.”
“Where is his family? What is his name?” I could hear the slight rise in my voice and felt tension in my body.
“Does it really matter? He is being of service to The Healer and all of mankind.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This poor man had no doubt been kidnapped and brought here without one word of explanation.
“The Healer.” I heard the old man mumble. “Where is The Healer?”
“I’m here.” I grabbed both his hands in mine and brought them to my face. “I’m right here.”
He used his hands to read the curve of my chin and cheeks, the length of my nose and width of my forehead.
“You can heal me?” he asked once he lowered his hands into mine.
“I can try.”
I placed my hands on either side of his face to connect with his ki. My heart sank when I saw the extent of his illness and felt certain his fate had already been decided. The one downside to my gift, the one thing I never had any control over, was who would live and who would die. Who could be healed and who could not.
This man had probably been promised a cure for his illness, but he was meant to die.
I broke away from him and sat back.
“If you will give me just one moment please,” I said, keeping my rising emotions in check.
I stood up and walked the short distance to Katsu. He raised a questioning eyebrow at me.
“Katsu, please forgive me, but I think there has been some mistake. This man believes I can heal him, but he is meant to die. Was there no one else with minor injuries that I might have healed?”
“I understand your distress, Princess, but I made no mistake. I picked him myself. I too sensed that he was meant to die.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded.
“Yes, but he is under the impression that he will be healed.”
“I may have allowed him to think you would be capable of healing him. He might have put up a fight, otherwise.”
I wasn’t sure how I restrained myself from smashing my fist into Katsu’s head. I supposed a life schooled in the art of repressing my emotions had served me well.
Katsu finally seemed to take note of my distress and placed his hands on my shoulders in a placating gesture.
“Mikomi, the only way you can sense the veil at first is by attempting to heal someone who is meant to die. What you will find when you start the healing process is—”
“A wall,” I mumbled automatically. “A block of some kind.”
I knew it well. It was the thing that taunted me every time I fought to heal someone that deserved to live but died anyway. The obstacle I struggled to overcome any time I tried to do something good and right.
Katsu smiled at me as if I had just earned a nice pat on the head for responding with the correct answer.
“Yes, then you have felt it before. The veil is there, preventing you from healing anyone whose soul is ready to pass over. I want you to try healing this man, and once you sense the veil, take special note of how it feels.”
“Feels?” I struggled to follow his instructions, worrying about the fate of the sickly, old man.
“Mentally. In a way you are touching it with your own mind…your own ki. Become accustomed to the way it feels, and you will be that much closer to sensing the veil. Connect with him again and focus this time.”
I turned around and slowly walked back to my patient. After kneeling down next to him, I gently took his head between my hands, once again connecting to his ki. The pain was awful, worse than it had been the first time. I wasn’t sure if his illness had a specific name, but it resided in the lungs and made it very difficult for him to breathe.
I tried to instruct his ki to minimize the size of a large mass lodged within his lungs, but I received no response. I pushed his ki aside and tried to minimize the mass using my own—something I had tried several times before whenever another person was unresponsive. My instructions and suggestions never reached the tiny intelligences within the lungs. Instead, the wall that I had been dreading rose up before me and blocked me at every turn. I pushed against it. The veil felt like a very thin pane of hardened glass. Unyielding and immovable. I tried feeling my way up, down and to the side, seeking an
end to the impenetrable wall.
Nothing but cold, hard glass.
Frustrated, I disconnected from the old man and let go.
“I’m sorry, sir,” I whispered. “I cannot heal you.”
He grabbed my hand and held on tight.
“But you’re The Healer. They promised me you would heal me.”
I glanced to Katsu, who had the decency to look slightly ashamed of himself. He flicked his fingers again and the two guards who had brought the stranger in, reached down to remove him from the gardens.
The man held fast to my arms and began to cry. One of the guards hit him over the head in an attempt to free me from his grasp.
“No, stop,” I commanded, surprising both of Katsu’s guards and myself. In the seventeen years I’d lived here within the palace, never once had I given any kind of command nor raised my voice like a man.
“Mikomi, what are you doing?” Katsu asked.
But I wasn’t listening. I wouldn’t listen to someone who valued life so little and behaved in such an unfeeling manner.
The guards continued to hold the man in their arms while I placed my hands on either side of his head and connected with him. I gave instructions to his ki to heal the damage that time, age, and illness had caused and did my best to take away all of his pain.
When I opened my eyes I was looking into his. They were beautiful and completely healed.
“I cannot give you back your health as you were promised,” I said in a shaky voice. I raised my hand to his face and gently held it there. “But I can give you back your sight.”
The old man stared at me in wonder as tears slid from his newly healed eyes. I looked at the astonished expression on the guards’ faces. “You will return him to his home and make certain he sees his family before he dies.”
“Yes, Princess,” the guard to my right said.
I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I saw a small look of respect on each of their faces before they turned away and left. I stared after them, wishing I could have done more to ease the poor man’s burden. There was much I could accomplish if I didn’t have to heal the veil.
