Insatiable

by Daniele Lanzarotta

  “Where are you taking me?” I ask.

  “To my apartment.”

  “When can I see him?”

  He sighs. “After visiting hours.”

  I give him a puzzled look.

  “That‘s the best time. Brooke won’t be there and neither will my dad.”

  “How are we getting in?”

  “I can be pretty charming. I’ll work on the nurses.” He says that with a serious tone, too.

  We get to his apartment and I stand there awkwardly. It’s as if everything around me is blurry. I don’t notice anything and there’s nothing in my mind but Blake.

  “Have a seat,” he says.

  I walk toward the black leather couch and sit down. Owen picks up his phone and calls someone.

  “Hey, Mom. How’s he? … He did what? … Well, Arianna is here with me. Are you sure?... Okay. We’ll see you in a bit.”

  He shakes his head and comes to sit next to me. I know right away that whatever he’s about to tell me is bad. He puts his hand on mine, but I flinch and pull my hand away.

  He sits back and stares blankly at me. “My dad rushed out of town for a meeting. He’ll be gone for at least three days. Can you believe that?”

  I sit there, not moving, but I can feel the tears run down my cheeks. As sad as that is, I’m not surprised.

  “Brooke said to call her if there are any changes. She said she hates hospitals and there’s no need for her to be there, especially since he’s unconscious. Mom doesn’t think she’ll be back unless she gets called, so I’m taking you there now.”

  I nod.

  “You need to be prepared for the worst. And I don’t know how I’m going to fix you if anything happens to my brother, but for now, you need to be prepared. The doctors don’t know if he’ll ever wake up or what kind of damage he’ll have if he does wake up. And he has bruises on his face and body. I know it will be tough, but please try to keep it together at least while my mom is in there. She already has fallen apart way too many times.”

  Still crying, I nod. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to keep myself together, but at this point, I agree to anything as long as I get to see him.

  Owen gets up and looks at me. “Hospitals are cold. Check the closet by the door. I’m sure someone left a coat here at some time or another.

  I go look and I find a denim jacket and put it over my dress.

  Owen grabs his keys. “Let’s go.”

  I start to shiver as soon as we walk in the hospital. I’m not sure it it’s the cold or if I’m just that nervous. Owen opens the door to Blake’s room and I feel as if my heart is going to stop beating. I stay by the door and my eyes go straight to him. He has a bandage on his forehead, but the bruises go past it. Cindy walks toward me and gives me a hug.

  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” she says.

  I don’t understand why she is apologizing to me, but I can’t open my mouth to ask and I’m partially afraid of her answer. It almost feels as if Blake told her things about me…about us.

  “I’m going to go make a call to check on Molly. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

  I nod.

  I take a step forward and she leaves the room.

  “Do you want me to leave you alone with him?” asks Owen.

  I hesitate. I’m afraid of being alone with him. I’m afraid I’ll fall apart.

  Owen starts to move toward the door, but I stop him by grabbing his arm.

  I look into his eyes. “Where was he going when this happened?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Arianna.”

  I feel numb. “I should have talked to him on the phone.”

  “Don’t do this to yourself. He needs you. Just let it go.”

  I nod. Owen takes another step toward the door, but stops and turns around.

  “Look, this is all my fault, not yours, okay? I’m sorry for everything… for the deal… I fucked things up pretty badly. You are free to do what you want. I don’t know how I’m going to fix things if you get sick again and I’m going to pay hell for letting you go, but you’re free.”

  I should be happy, but I’m not. What is the point of this freedom if I can’t have what I want the most?

  Owen walks out without saying anything else and I get the courage to approach Blake.

  I slightly brush my fingers against his face then I pull my hand away wondering if he can feel pain. I rest my hand on his.

  “You have to wake up, Blake. You have to fight this!”

  I can’t hold the tears back. I lean in to give him a kiss on his cheek and a tear falls on his lips. I can feel his warmth and hear his steady heartbeat through the monitors. My gaze moves to his lips. I close my eyes and lean in even more, slightly brushing my lips against his. Then I pull away, and with my eyes still closed, I whisper, “I love you, Blake. You have to wake up. You have to be okay for your family… for me.”

  I open my eyes and there is no response whatsoever…. There never is.

  ***

  Months pass. His bruises have healed but nothing else has changed.

  There were never any charges filed from the accident. Blake was lucky that he was the only one involved. The wedding has been postponed indefinitely, and they talk about moving him to the house because this is really just a waiting game. He might never even wake up. Brooke never comes to see him. His father only comes once a week, and Owen and Cindy work together to make sure he doesn’t know that I’ve been here this entire time.

  I spend all my time at the hospital, except for nights, when I go to Owen’s apartment. He thought about letting me stay at Blake’s, but Brooke has a key and he doesn’t want to risk it.

  My relationship with Owen has changed a lot. He was truly sorry for what he had done and I could see the change in him, but lately, he seems worried and stressed, and I know it is about more than just his brother. I wonder if it’s because of the so-called consequences of him letting me go, but I’m afraid to ask and I can’t afford to get involved with his problems. All I want is to focus on Blake.

  When I’m with Blake, I tell him stories about my world, because I know this is the only time I will ever be able to tell him that. After telling him those stories, that world doesn’t even seem real anymore. Blake’s world has become my own. I read him his favorite books and when Molly visits, we both read him fairy tales with princes and happy endings and whenever she is gone, I always make the point to tell him that on the contrary of what he thinks, he has always been my fairy tale.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “You were supposed to be getting married today,” I tell Blake. My chair is close to his bed and as always, I really hope that he can hear me. I hesitate. “You know, I would rather have you awake and getting married to her than not knowing if you’ll ever wake up.”

  I watch him, hoping for some kind of response, once again disappointed when there is none.

  I take a deep breath, put my hand over his, entwining our fingers and just watch him.

  Owen told me they closed the merger the day before. He thinks Brooke’s dad felt bad for her not coming to see Blake and for screwing around on him on top of everything else, so he gave in and signed the papers. Make no mistake, his dad still wants Brooke and Blake married. There are other benefits coming from uniting both families and Brooke seems to agree. She might not come see him and be screwing around, but she still has every intention of marrying him.

  Cindy comes in that day for a little while but she has to leave soon to get Molly. She lets me know that her husband is coming back into town that night so her and Owen will work on helping me see Blake.

  As soon as she leaves, I get on the bed with Blake. Owen gave me Blake’s ipod a few weeks back and ever since then, Blake and I got into a routine. I lay with my head on his chest and I start playing one of his playlists, sharing the earphones with Blake.

  I close my eyes and listen to his steady heartbeat along with the music and doze off.

  I sit up as soon as I hear the sound of the door
closing.

  His dad stands there, looking more intimidating than ever.

  I quickly take off the earphone and stand up right next to Blake’s bed. His dad makes his way around and stands in front of me. “I fucking knew it!” He shakes his head and he is furious.

  He never once even looks at Blake. “Did you know that this is all your fault?” He yells. “He was on his way to the island when this happened and I guarantee it was to see YOU.”

  I can feel the tears. Even though Owen tried to say it was his fault, I knew that if I had answered the phone that night, none of this would’ve happened.

  My gaze goes to the floor and I’m terrified.

  “You need to leave! Leave and never come back!” he says.

  Something comes over me at that moment.

  I lift my head and stare at him.

  “Why?” I yell back. “So he can be alone while Brooke is doing who knows what and you are out sleeping around instead of being with your son and with you family?”

  The fury in his eyes makes me flinch, but not as much as him raising his hand and moving it toward me, and I know he has every intention of hitting me.

  It’s as if everything is moving in slow motion, yet, I can’t move away. My eyes widen as his hand moves toward me.

  I hear the dry voice in the background.

  “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE TOUCH HER!”

  Our eyes widen but it’s too late. He slaps me across my face and out of instinct my hand covers my cheek and it’s only painful for a second, because when I turn to my side, I can’t even explain how I feel when Blake’s eyes meet mine.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  BLAKE

  The yelling… It’s all so familiar.

  But I can smell her scent in the room and I know those two things don’t belong together. She should never have to be around the sound of his voice, the sound that terrified me my entire life.

  I open my eyes and I feel strange. I feel weak. I can tell that I’m at a hospital, but I can’t remember what happened.

  I adjust my sight and turn to my side. I see her, but she looks afraid. What I see terrifies me more than his voice.

  I try to move my hand up, but I can’t. My muscles are weak.

  I try to speak and my voice comes out all wrong, but I find the strength to say it loud enough to get his attention.

  “Don’t you fucking dare touch her!”

  But it’s too late. I flinch when his hand lands on her face.

  My eyes widen as I watch her hand cover the side of her face. Then her gaze meets mine. She lowers her hand and seems to relax.

  We stay with our eyes locked on one another.

  The voice directed at her makes me look at my dad.

  “I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!” he says.

  I’m able to move my hand to where I can reach hers. I grab her hand and pull her closer to me.

  I look at my dad. “You need to leave. NOW!”

  He stares at me like he’s never seen me before, but before he can say anything; one of the nurses walks in. She’s older and her eyes widen as she looks at Arianna’s face, which is quite red. She looks from Arianna to my dad and makes the right assumption. She looks back at Arianna.

  “Do you want to file charges?”

  My dad gives the nurse a puzzled look and Arianna shakes her head.

  The nurse nods. “Sir, you need to leave.”

  “Do you know who you are taking to?” he says.

  I can tell the nurse is nervous but she doesn’t back down.

  “Yes, I know who you are and I also know that you hit her and that you are upsetting my patient, so unless you want me to call security, you need to leave!”

  He never once asks if I’m okay. He looks at me and he’s furious. “We’re going to talk about this later, Blake,” he says as he storms out of the room.

  The nurse takes a deep breath and walks toward me.

  “Thank you,” I say.

  She smiles and then looks at Arianna. “As soon as I’m done examining him, I’ll get you some ice, sweetheart.”

  “Thank you,” Arianna says.

  The nurse starts to take my vitals. “Do you remember what happened to you?” she asks.

  Now that I’ve had time to calm down, things start to come back to me. I tell her that I remember everything… the accident included.

  I look from the nurse to Arianna. “How long has it been?” I ask.

  She avoids my gaze. “You were supposed to get married today.”

  I’m still holding her hand and I tighten my grip around it, but she doesn’t look at me.

  “I’m going to leave the two of you alone,” says the nurse. She pauses and smiles at Arianna. “I know it’s none of my business but you should know that she’s the one who’s been by your side every single day over the past few months.”

  I nod and the nurse leaves. I want to smile, but I’m embarrassed for putting Arianna through this. Yet again, I’m the one making her life miserable.

  Still holding on to her hand, I pull her closer to the bed and this time, she looks at me, and I get lost in that look. I wonder how I got so lucky to have met her and her so unlucky to have met me.

  The nurse knocks on the door and comes back in. “Sorry. Here’s the icepack.” She hands it to Arianna and leaves again.

  “Here,” I reach for the icepack with one hand and use my other hand to click the button to move the bed, helping me sit up. I slowly move to the side. “Can you sit next to me?” I ask.

  She doesn’t say anything. Her expression went from relief to concern. She moves closer and sits next to me on the bed. I move her hair back and put the icepack to her face.

  She flinches as it makes contact with her skin.

  “I’ll make sure he doesn’t get near you ever again.”

  She puts her hand over the ice pack, moving it away. Her arms go around me and she starts to sob uncontrollably.

  My arms go around her, and I kiss the top of her head. “I can’t believe you’ve been here this entire time,” I say.

  We lay there for a while, not saying anything. I can’t believe I put her through this and mostly, I can’t believe she stayed. I have so many questions, about how she managed to be here without being caught by my dad before and about whatever happened to Brooke, but I feel like I should wait to ask those things. I can feel how much she needs this… just being here.

  She falls asleep in my arms and I just watch her.

  Minutes later, there is a soft knock on the door and my mom comes in. She has a big smile on her face. Her smile widens when she sees Arianna.

  She comes in and quietly kisses my forehead then we talk in a low tone not to wake up Arianna. I can’t help but to run my fingers through her hair as we talk.

  “Are you feeling okay?” she asks.

  I nod. “My muscles feel stiff, but I’m sure it will get better with time. Other than that, I feel great.” I look down at Arianna. “Really great.”

  My mom’s expression turns into something sad. “Your dad called me and said to make sure she’s gone before I call Brooke to tell her that you are awake. Then I got here and the nurse told me what happened.” She shakes her head.

  “What happened during this entire time?” I ask.

  She sighs and smiles at Arianna. “For one thing, she hasn’t left your side, except for at night and always after visiting hours. Even then, sometimes the nurses let her stay longer. I know she must be exhausted.”

  “How did she manage that without Dad finding out until now?”

  “Well, Brooke apparently hates hospitals so that was easy. Owen and I coordinated the rest, and eventually, most of the nurses fell in love with her and they caught on to what was happening, so they started to help, too.”

  I look down at Arianna and smile. “She has that effect on people…” I pause. “So, Owen helped, huh?”

  Mom nods. “He really did and she ended up staying at his apartment at night. He wanted her to stay at your place, but it
was too much of a risk with Brooke having the keys.”

  I nod.

  My mom sighs. “Blake, they closed the merger. Please, I’m begging you, just take her and live YOUR life.”

  “He’s going to make everyone’s lives hell, Mom.”

  “Blake, he already does. I just want to see you happy. Please, do this for yourself and for her.”

  “I need to find another job first and get myself together. Otherwise, as soon as I’m cut off, I won’t have anywhere to take her.”

  She gives me a sad smile. “I have to talk with Owen about some things, and once I do, I might have something that will help the two of you until you get things together.”

  I give her a puzzled look.

  “I have to go get Molly. I’ll be back later, okay?”

  I nod. “What are you going to do about Brooke knowing that I’m awake?”

  She shrugs. “She won’t hear it from me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  ARIANNA

  When I wake up, everything seems perfect. It doesn’t even matter that we’re at a hospital.

  I know it’s dark outside and I assume that one of the nurses decided I could stay. Honestly, I knew they only sent me away when they could see how exhausted I was and that I really needed to rest.

  He’s asleep and when I move to see what time it is, he wakes up and pulls me closer and I rest my head on his chest.

  He runs his fingers through my hair and I close my eyes.

  “Blake?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I want you to promise me something.”

  “Anything,” he says.

  “Promise me that no matter what happens, you won’t drink again.”

  He pulls away enough to where we can look at each other.

  “I promise. And I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I’m for putting you through this.”

  Feeling uncomfortable, I look away.

  “Arianna, why did you stay?”

  “I talked to you about it all the time while you were in the coma. In a way, I wish you could remember.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what you said now?”

  I skip the part where I tell him about my world, but I do tell him about lying by his side and listening to music, about Molly and I reading him fairy tales and about how once Molly was gone I would tell him that he was my fairy tale. I don’t know where I got the courage to tell him that, but I’m glad I did.