Throwaway

by Heather Huffman

  “He’s a teacher,” Jessie felt bad lying, but no sense complicating things.

  “No he’s not,” she gave Jessie a knowing look.

  “Okay fine, he’s a cop. But I bought the teacher line at first.”

  “That’s because you’re twitter pated.”

  “Twitter-what?”

  “Didn’t you ever watch Bambi as a kid? Wow, you were seriously deprived. What kind of parents did you have?”

  “I don’t know,” Jessie admitted with a small frown. “I don’t think I ever knew them.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No worries,” she smiled more brightly than she felt. “What about you—where are your parents?”

  “They live in Hazelwood. They think I have a research internship to pay for school. It would kill them if they knew. But—they made too much money to qualify for financial aid and not enough to pay for school. I had two choices: rack up a lifetime’s worth of debt in student loans, or work my way through. Plan B seemed like the more fiscally-sound approach.”

  “You’re nuts,” Jessie shook her head.

  “Maybe it wasn’t my most well-thought out decision, but what’s done is done.”

  “True,” Jessie acknowledged.

  They talked for a while more. The throbbing in Jessie’s cheek subsided and the wine succeeded in making her drowsy. She allowed herself the luxury of sleeping in even later than normal the next morning before joining Harmony in yoga.

  The day passed like a Salvador Dali painting. Everything seemed distorted, slow and odd. Until she was standing in front of her closet trying to decide what she could possibly wear that would be suitable for the movies and not raise Spence’s suspicions. Then the clock seemed to be on fast forward.

  She finally settled on folding her skirt over at the waist to shorten it and putting a button-up in her bag. She siphoned more money from her secret stash in the mattress so she could pay Spence for the evening before heading out for the night.

  Jessie sincerely hoped she didn’t look as nervous as she felt. Harmony chatted with her easily about not much in particular and she took that as a good sign.

  “Be really careful you don’t pick up a cop, baby girl,” Jessie warned.

  “Is that a joke?” Harmony nodded in the direction of an old white Plymouth that pulled up at the corner of First and Lucas just as they walked up.

  “Don’t accidentally pick up any cops,” Jessie amended before waving and darting across the street to hop in the car.

  “Hey there,” his eyes seemed to lap her up.

  “Hey,” she flushed under his gaze. “Where’d you get the car?”

  “I bought it a few years ago. I keep meaning to fix it up and never get around to it. It’s not pretty, but it runs great.”

  “No, it’s cool. I like it. What year is it?”

  “Sixty-three.”

  “Good year for cars,” she nodded knowingly.

  “You think so?”

  “I have no idea,” she admitted. “It just seemed like the right thing to say.”

  Once they were on the highway, she maneuvered in her seat to pull her skirt down to a respectable length before sliding the button-up shirt on over the layered tank tops she’d worn out.

  Gabe burst out laughing, an incredulous look on his face.

  “What?”

  “Usually it’s the other way around… the girl sneaks out with more clothes on…”

  “Ah, I see what you mean,” Jessie grinned at the absurdity of it. “I never have been normal.”

  “Normal is overrated,” he assured her. “Have you decided what we’re going to see?”

  “Haven’t got a clue.”

  “What’s your curfew?”

  “I think I brought enough to buy me until 1 a.m.,” she double checked her wallet to be sure.

  “To buy you? Are you paying him for a night off?”

  “I’m paying him to think I worked,” she corrected.

  “I’m not okay with that,” he frowned.

  “Then pretend you didn’t hear it.”

  “I can’t pretend I didn’t hear it.”

  “Then get over it. I don’t want you ruining a perfectly good date—you don’t want to waste my money, do you?”

  “I don’t feel right making you pay to spend time with me.”

  “You aren’t the one making me. It’s kind of funny, really.”

  “Funny?”

  “Sure… usually people pay to spend time with me.”

  “You’re just full of paradoxes, aren’t you?”

  “Yep. Look at it this way. People spend money on all sorts of things. Drugs. Alcohol. Some people collect things or overeat. Lots of people spend money on big houses or fancy cars. I don’t spend money on any of that stuff. For fourteen years, I’ve been sticking money under a mattress because I didn’t have anything better to do with it and nowhere to go.”

  “Fourteen years?”

  “Now I have somewhere to go.”

  “How much do you have?”

  “A lot. Probably. I don’t exactly flip my mattress over to count it.”

  “And still you don’t leave.”

  “I told you, that’s not an option. You’re not going to ruin our date by bringing that up again, are you?” she repositioned herself in the seat so she could face him more fully.

  “What the hell happened to your face?” he shouted, causing her to regret repositioning herself. A vein was pulsating in his temple. She took that as a sign he was really angry.

  “That’s not a very nice thing to say,” she admonished. She didn’t want to be that woman—the one who lied and said she tripped. But she also didn’t feel like discussing the truth with him, either. “You’re supposed to tell me I look ravishing tonight.”

  “You do—but I’m going to kill him for touching you.”

  “I know you’re the expert on this kind of thing, but I’m pretty sure the law would frown on that.”

  “You’re not that funny.”

  “But I’m cute. Come on, admit it. You think I’m cute.”

  “Yeah, I do think you’re cute,” that dimple of his flashed again as he grudgingly gave in. “I just don’t like seeing you hurt.”

  He reached out to stroke her cheek with his thumb. She couldn’t help leaning into his touch. It felt so warm, so sure.

  They wound up watching a romantic comedy. Well, sitting in a theater that was showing a romantic comedy. Mostly they watched each other.

  After the movie, they went back to the little diner. Jessie knew she couldn’t eat like this too many nights in a row or she’d gain a million pounds. At that thought, she paused to toy with the idea of gaining so much weight Spence wouldn’t want her. She quickly tossed it aside as too simple a solution. He’d probably put her on a bread and water diet the minute he suspected what she was up to.

  They were careful to leave the diner in plenty of time to get her home before curfew. She’d even grown accustomed to him opening doors for her and paused at her door while he unlocked the car. Only instead of opening the door, he took her face in his hands and lowered his lips to hers.

  The kiss was gentle, reverent almost. It made her want to weep. It made her want to sing for joy. It was over as quickly as it began, although she could still feel it the entire ride home.

  Chapter Four

  The next night he took her to see the Cards. She’d never been to a ballgame before. He brought her an Albert Pujols shirt and a red baseball cap with a cardinal on it. They drank ridiculously expensive beer and ate nachos with the works. They sang and clapped and shouted and cheered.

  As much as Jessie loved watching the game, as dearly as she enjoyed his company, what she couldn’t get over was the feeling that she belonged to this enormous group of bustling, happy people. She wasn’t on the outside looking in; she was right in the thick of the moment. And she couldn’t stop smiling.

  “You look amazing tonight,” he told her quite solemnly after they finished jumping a
nd screaming over a Pujols homerun.

  “I feel amazing,” she laughed as she stood on tiptoe to kiss him. “Thank you.”

  “I like seeing you smile,” he kissed her bruised cheek and she sobered briefly. He’d gotten a few dirty looks from people who assumed he’d done that to her. She wanted to crawl in a hole whenever it happened—the last thing she wanted was for him to experience one moment of discomfort because of her.

  Seventh inning stretch shifted her attention back to the moment and she sang “Take me out to the Ballgame” with the rest of the stadium, then made a beeline to the bathroom with the rest of the women in the stadium.

  As she neared the line, a familiar face caught her attention. It was another of Spence’s girls, hanging off the arm of an older man. Something in her eyes said she knew Jessie’s face but couldn’t place from where.

  Jessie ducked behind a large man and walked beside him a bit before veering off to weave her way back to Gabe. Her heart pounded a thousand miles an hour in her chest, but she tried to appear calm as she slid into the seat beside him.

  “Are you okay?” Concern etched his face the moment he saw her.

  “Absolutely.”

  “You’re a lousy liar. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. The line was really long, so I didn’t wait.”

  “So the pained look is because you have to pee?”

  “Don’t be crass.”

  “What? Something’s wrong. If you won’t tell me then I have to guess.”

  “I really do hate you sometimes.”

  “I think that’s Jessie-code for ‘I’m really crazy about you because you’re so handsome’,” he informed her.

  “You think so, huh?” she grinned, happy he’d been distracted from his concern.

  “Absolutely,” he mimicked her.

  “Grrr.”

  “Did you just growl at me?” he cocked his head as if deciding whether he’d heard correctly.

  “I don’t know… maybe.”

  “So, are you going to tell me what upset you earlier?”

  “You’re like a freaking bulldog, you know that?”

  “I prefer to think Rottweiler. German Shepherd, maybe. Something manly.”

  “It’s not like I called you a Yorkie-poo.”

  “Yes, it could always be worse… so… what was wrong with you?”

  “You know, if you’re going to spend the next two innings driving me crazy, we can leave now and beat the traffic.”

  “Not a bad idea… come on. Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

  “Really? You’re having fun. We don’t have to go.”

  “You’re not having fun?” he looked wounded.

  “I am. I had a wonderful time,” she assured him, before relenting. “I just ran into someone who might have recognized me. I’m starting to worry it’ll get back to Spence.”

  “I can take care of that for you,” he did growl, and it wasn’t the playful sound Jessie had made, either.

  “No. I’m not going to tell you again—stop trying to kill people.”

  “Why are you protecting him?”

  “Who says I’m protecting him?”

  “I don’t need protecting.”

  “Ha!” she practically snorted. “You definitely need to be protected from yourself.”

  “Hey Pot, my name’s Kettle.”

  “I hate you. Have I mentioned that?”

  “I love it when you talk dirty to me,” he tapped her nose playfully.

  “It’s a good thing you’re cute,” she made a face at him.

  “Are you going to sit there and yak at me or are we getting out of here?”

  “You really don’t mind?”

  “Nah. I was hoping we’d have time to make out in the car before curfew anyway.”

  Suddenly, Jessie didn’t mind leaving early. In fact, it seemed like a grand idea to her. They walked hand in hand back to the car, stopping for Jessie to run to the restroom while Gabe stood lookout and again to give a five to the saxophone player outside the stadium.

  Jessie frowned when she realized they were nearing her neighborhood. He must have been teasing about the making out thing.

  “At least you’ll be able to get some real work done tomorrow. I won’t be able to get away,” she didn’t like the idea of not seeing him.

  “Do you have to work?” he tried to sound calm, but Jessie could tell he wasn’t happy.

  “No, actually, it’s my nights off when I have trouble getting away. I have two nights on and one night off. The on nights Spence doesn’t keep track of me—so long as he gets his share the next morning. The off nights, I’m on a pretty short leash.”

  The cloud that fell over Gabe’s eyes spoke louder than any words could. Jessie shrank back in her seat with the distinct feeling she was somehow tainted in his eyes now. She mentally cursed herself for reminding him who she really was.

  “So,” he began after a long pause. “What are we doing the next night?”

  “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” Hope fluttered inside her.

  “I know a great little corner bar over near Dogtown. Want to grab a bite there?”

  “Yeah, sure. Sounds great,” Jessie nodded, relief washing over her.

  He might have been teasing about making out in the car, but the goodnight kiss he gave sent flames shooting through her. It was fascinating to be so completely and totally overtaken by the need to be touched by another human being—by this human being.

  She expected the next day to crawl by. She now firmly held the belief that nothing of interest could happen in between date nights. She was wrong.

  The morning passed pretty much the same as any other. After their morning workout, she and Harmony went clothes shopping at Retro 101. She found a cute mini dress and some cowboy boots to wear on her next date with Gabe. It was garish enough for Spence to not think twice about it, stylish enough she wouldn’t feel the need to take extra clothes with her. She found a few other treasures before calling it a day. On her way home, she stopped in at the Cherokee Market for a soda.

  “Hello sunshine,” her favorite Irishman greeted her, kindness and laughter dancing in his warm blue eyes.

  “Hey Danny,” she smiled and hugged him. “How’s the wife and kids?”

  “Beautiful as always. You coming to see me tonight?”

  “It’s Wednesday, isn’t it?”

  “I didn’t know—I heard Spence was fit to be tied today.”

  “I haven’t seen him,” Jessie frowned in confusion. “What’s up?”

  “Word is he is sporting a fresh bruise on his cheek… a lot like yours, actually. Some guy just walked up to him, clocked him, and walked off.”

  “Really?” Jessie’s breath caught in her throat.

  “Scared the life outta him, from what I hear,” a smile seemed to be tugging the corner of his mouth.

  “Well, unless I’m in trouble and don’t know it, I’ll be there tonight. Tell your family I said hey,” she kissed him on the cheek and wandered back to her flat.

  Despite living on the same street for fourteen years, she never got tired of soaking up all of its character. How could you not love a place with murals on the sides of buildings and mosaic tile trash cans?

  But today, she walked home without seeing her surroundings. What had possessed Gabe to do something so stupid? If Dan had noticed that Spence’s bruise matched her own, wouldn’t everyone else—Spence included?

  Fear that he had made things worse for her mingled with a small amount of satisfaction.

  “Spence is looking for you,” a Hispanic woman with riotous curls called from the other side of the street as she passed by. It didn’t matter how long she knew Marie, every time Jessie saw her, the thought flitted through her mind that the girl had obviously watched Pretty Woman once too often as a child.

  “Thanks,” Jessie waved and smiled, pretending her stomach wasn’t in knots. If Marie sensed fear on Jessie’s part, the story would be all over the neighborhood by the
end of the day. The more she could convince people this had absolutely nothing to do with her, the better.

  To that end, she plastered a benign look on her face and strolled into her apartment as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

  “Wow, Spence… what happened to your face?” Maybe it was a little over the top, but Jessie couldn’t help it. When she saw the large black mark marring his pretty skin, satisfaction quickly took top billing over fear.

  “Who did this to me?” his voice was low and silky.

  “How should I know?” she tossed her bags on the nearby couch, refusing to look at the obviously terrified Harmony, who sat curled up in their oversized chair.

  “Because my cheek now bears an uncanny resemblance to yours.”

  “Wow, you’re right. But I didn’t have anything to do with this, Spence. How could I?”

  “What’s going on here?”

  “I told you—I don’t know. Everyone knows I’m your girl. Maybe someone decided to get chivalrous… but I’m telling you, I don’t know who did this or why.”

  Before she knew what was happening, he crossed the distance between them—striking her on the other cheek with a force that caused her to stumble backward.

  “Jessie,” Harmony shrieked, leaping to her assistance.

  “Stay out of this!” Spence shouted.

  “Don’t hurt her,” Harmony pleaded.

  “Hey, no worries,” Jessie clasped Harmony’s hands in her own, trying to calm the frantic teenager.

  “Let’s see if your boyfriend has a response to that one.”

  “I’m telling you, there is no guy, Spence. It’s just a coincidence.”

  “I guess we’ll see now, won’t we?” With that pronouncement, he strode out of the little apartment.

  “Sorry about this,” Jessie whispered miserably, blinking back tears that threatened to spill.

  “You don’t need to apologize,” Harmony’s hands shook as she applied an ice pack to Jessie’s newest bruise. “I really hate that man.”

  “Don’t waste the energy.”

  “Someone should just shoot him. Then you’d be free.”

  “I’m not going to shoot him… and you aren’t either,” she added when Harmony got a determined gleam in her eye.

  “What if he gets himself shot with some of the crap he’s into now?”