The Hard Way

by Katie Ashley

  “Yep.”

  “Even when I’m so beautiful it leaves you speechless?” she teased.

  “Don’t worry, I know I’m strong enough to refuse you. I did the other night.”

  Her eyes widened. “When I was drunk?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I leaned over and whispered into her ear, “You were so incredibly sexy when you propositioned me in your sexy white cami and blue panties.”

  Maddie’s hand flew to cover her mouth in horror. “I did?”

  I shot her a wicked grin. “Oh yeah. But I was a true gentleman and said no to your advances.”

  Once again, a red flush crept over her cheeks. When she finally met my gaze, she gave me a hesitant smile. “Well, just don’t look for it happening again anytime soon!”

  I shook my head. “One can only dream.”

  Maddie giggled before smacking my arm playfully. “So you’re really willing to wait until I’m ready?”

  I stared into her dark eyes. “Although it probably means I’m completely and totally whipped, I’ll do anything you ask me to as long as it means I get to be close to you.”

  “Oh Noah,” Maddie murmured. She cupped my cheeks in her hands and bestowed a long, lingering kiss on me.

  I knew in that moment I’d found the perfect love, acceptance and happiness I’d been searching for. And I had Jake to thank for it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  One Year Later

  “Mom, we’re gonna be late!” I called, as I smoothed down my hair.

  “Give me a minute!” came her muffled reply from down the hallway.

  Glancing in the mirror, I surveyed my appearance. Outfitted in a blue polo shirt and khaki pants, I guess I looked appropriate enough for Jake’s Life Celebration. I mean, I don’t know what the hell you’re supposed to wear to these kinda things. I’d never even heard of one until Mrs. Nelson had called me two weeks ago to invite me. It was hard to believe a whole year had passed since Jake had died. I still thought of him each and every day, and I still missed him like crazy.

  Mom swept into my room. “Would you mind getting Emma Grace downstairs for me while I finish packing her diaper bag?”

  I bobbed my head. “No problem. Happy to help.”

  “Thanks sweetheart,” she murmured.

  “Mom?”

  She whipped around to glance questioningly at me. “Take a deep breath, okay?” I instructed with a grin.

  With a laugh, she rose up on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. “Being a mom in your mid 30’s is so different than in your teens. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going.”

  “You’re doing great,” I reassured her.

  She blew an errant strand of dark hair out of her eyes. “Even with Greg, it’s not as easy as it was with you.”

  “That’s because I was a super special baby.”

  Mom laughed. “True. Very true.” She then hurried out of my room, and I heard her pounding down the stairs. I crossed the hall into the nursery and once again was bombarded by a pink overload. In response to Mom’s choice for the nursery, Greg often mused the line from Steel Magnolias that the room looked like it had been hosed down with Pepto Bismol.

  My sister played happily in her Pack N Play. “Hey Baby Girl,” I said. She jerked her head up to peer at me. As always, Mom had her decked out to the nines with a frilly dress, tights, and a headband with a giant flower on it. Why she needed a headband since she barely had any hair was beyond me.

  Emma Grace grunted and held her arms out to me. “Okay, okay, don’t be so pushy, Miss Spoiled,” I teased.

  When she rewarded me with one of her beaming smiles, my heart instantly melted. “Emma Grace, give your favorite brother a kiss.” She leaned over to bestow a slobbery smooch on my cheek. “That’s my pretty girl.”

  It was hard to believe she was almost seven months old. Time had flown since her birth at the beginning of October. I’d managed to leave my dorm at Georgia Tech to head over to Wellstar-Kennestone to be there for her arrival. Mom had offered to let me stay in and watch, but I’d said, “Oh hell no!” without hesitation.

  In the end, I sat in the waiting room with Grammy and my aunts and uncles while Greg stayed in with Mom. Once Emma Grace made her grand entrance, I went in to see Mom. Emma Grace was barely half an hour old when I held her in my arms as tears streaked down Mom’s cheeks, and Greg boohooed like a total pansy. Well, I guess I shouldn’t make too much fun of him—someday I guess I’ll know what it’s like to have a kid of my own.

  Hoisting her onto my shoulder, I headed down the hall to the stairs. When the doorbell rang, I got a little more bounce in my step. Throwing it open, a smile stretched across my face. In a way too sexy sundress for her own good, Maddie stood on the front step.

  “Hey beautiful,” I said.

  She grinned. “Hey yourself. And thanks.”

  Emma Grace squealed happily and waved her tiny hand at Maddie. With a giggle, Maddie said in a sing-song voice, “Aw, does my precious angel think I’m ignoring her?” She then took Emma Grace from me. As Maddie smothered her in kisses, I cleared my throat. “Um, hello? Where’s my compliments and lovin’?”

  Maddie’s dark eyes took on an amused glint. With a slightly sexier lilt to her voice, she said, “Aw, does my precious, but jealous, boyfriend think he’s getting slighted for his beautiful baby sister?”

  I poked my bottom lip out teasingly. “Yes, I do.”

  “Then let me remedy that.” Leaning over, Maddie brought her lips to mine. I shivered with need when she thrust her tongue into my mouth. She’d come a long way in the almost year we’d been dating. We’d been an official couple since that day on the airplane. Although it was a grueling, eye-opening experience, I wouldn’t have taken anything for our time in Costa Rica. Thankfully, when it came time to leave for college, things weren’t too hard considering I was in downtown Atlanta at Georgia Tech, and she was at Georgia State.

  Just as we were getting hot and heavy, another squeal of protest from Emma Grace caused us to pull away. “You are such an attention whore,” I teased.

  “Noah, don’t say that word in front of Emma Grace!” Maddie admonished.

  I grinned at her outrage. “She doesn’t know the difference.”

  “It’s still not right.”

  With a smirk, I questioned, “Don’t tell me I’m going to owe the Cuss Can?”

  Maddie giggled. “You just might.”

  I groaned as Mom’s heels clicked down the hall. “I’m finally ready,” she said with a smile.

  Mom leaned over and kissed Maddie’s cheek. I was happy that two of my most favorite women in the world got along so well. Well, I guess I should say my three most favorite women since Emma Grace adored Maddie as well. Maddie loved spending at least one night of our weekends home baby-sitting for Mom and Greg to give them a date night. With Emma Grace in bed by seven, we had the evenings to ourselves to watch movies and make-out a little.

  Of course, we hadn’t gone there yet. Third base was as far as Maddie would let me, and it was seriously killing me. I mean, yeah, she was keeping me satisfied with that, but I wanted to really be with her. But I loved her too much to pressure her, and I knew when the time was right, we would go there.

  Once we got Emma Grace loaded into the SUV, we headed over to Jake’s. At first I thought the Life Celebration might include all his old buddies, but Mrs. Nelson told me she wanted to keep it very small—just the immediate family, which included me and Maddie. As we neared his house, the familiar pangs of grief tightened in my chest. It was true that time healed all wounds, but it didn’t quite mend a broken heart.

  When we arrived at Jake’s house, Jason greeted us at the door. “Hey guys!” he said with a beaming smile. As Mom and Maddie stood talking with Jason and the Asshole, I headed on down the hall to the kitchen.

  Mrs. Nelson bustled around, putting the final touches on the food. I couldn’t help smiling when I saw who she was balancing in her arms.

  Two months after Emma Grace was bor
n, Presley gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl—Evelyn Hope Nelson. Evie, pronounced Ev-e, was Mrs. Nelson’s namesake, and I had to give Presley props for doing something so thoughtful. Of course, Presley was practically a member of the Nelson family now—Jake’s old room had been given to her and Evie so she could divide her time between her house and Jake’s. Even the Asshole had warmed to her, and as for his granddaughter, Evie had him wrapped around her tiny finger. It was good for Presley having the support considering she was in college and working part-time. Of course, the Nelson’s took care of most of the financial obligations for Evie. And I had to hand it to Presley. She’d really done a 180 and was a good, caring mother.

  It was hard imaging Jake with a baby period, but the thoughts of him with a daughter was too surreal. Deep down, I knew he would have been fiercely protective of Evie and would have loved her with all his heart and soul. I would have given anything if he had been able to be there to hold her and rock her to sleep—especially to change her dirty diapers, which he would have loathed.

  “Hi Mrs. Nelson,” I said.

  She whirled around and gave me a genuine smile—one I hadn’t seen on her face for such a long time. “Well hello.” She reached over to give me a hug. As I pulled away, I stared down at Evie. Her blue eyes—Jake’s deep shade of blue—peered up at me.

  “How’s my goddaughter doing?” I asked, tenderly touching Evie’s dark head. Like Emma Grace, she was outfitted in a fluffy and frilly dress along with a hair bow.

  Mrs. Nelson beamed. “Absolutely wonderful. Wanna hold her?”

  I smiled. “Sure.” As Evie was passed over to me, I kissed her cheek. If anyone had doubts about her being Jake’s baby, all they had to do was look at her. It wasn’t just her eyes—she was an exact replica of Jake from her nose to the shape of her mouth. It was like Presley hadn’t even had a part in the baby—Evie and Jake’s baby pictures were identical as well. It was bittersweet looking into her tiny face and seeing him staring out at you.

  “Where’s Presley?” I asked.

  “She and Jonathan went to get some ice.” A knowing smile played on her lips before she turned back to stir the green beans.

  “They’ve been spending a lot of time together lately,” I mused. Jonathan and I had ended up rooming together at Tech, rather than Jake. It hadn’t escaped me that he was often talking to Presley on the phone or going places with her. He tried to play it off that he enjoyed spending time with Evie, but I knew better. They were falling for each other, but neither one of them knew how to do it because of Jake. And I knew all too well what having the specter of Jake hanging over you felt like.

  Maddie entered the kitchen then. At the sight of Evie in my arms, she grinned. “How’s Miss Mini-Me?” she asked.

  I laughed at her reference to Evie being a perfect Jake clone. “She’s good.” Glancing past her, I saw Jason holding Emma Grace while Mom and the Asshole talked.

  Presley and Jonathan breezed in the backdoor then, loaded down with shopping bags. At the sight of me, Presley gave a beaming smile. “Hey Noah. Glad you could make it.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  When Presley opened her mouth to say something else, Evie gave a loud cry and began squirming in my arms. With Presley’s hands full, Jonathan quickly deposited his bags on the counter and took Evie from me. She immediately stopped crying.

  I quirked my brows at him. “I never knew you were such a natural with babies,” I teased.

  An amusing flush entered his cheeks. “It’s not that. She just knows me better than you,” he replied, cradling Evie to his chest.

  “Okay everyone, let’s sit down to eat,” Mrs. Nelson instructed.

  As we crowded around the dining room table, I still couldn’t help but feel Jake’s absence. I wanted to hear his laughter and his voice echoing through the room. With a resigned sigh, I eased down in my chair next to Maddie. Sensing my emotions, she reached over and squeezed my hand.

  Before we started eating, the Asshole stood up in his chair. “I just wanted to thank you all for coming out today to honor the one year anniversary of Jake’s death.” Surprisingly his voice wavered for a moment. “It means so much that Jake’s memory is still being kept alive by those who loved him, and that he will live on not just in his beautiful daughter, but through all of his family and friends.”

  I tried not to let my mouth fall open in shock at the Asshole’s sincere comments. “So raise your glass, even though it’s only tea and coke, to Jake.”

  I grabbed my glass and hoisted it in the air. “To Jake,” Mr. Nelson said.

  “To Jake,” we all replied in unison.

  Later Maddie and I lay tangled in each other’s arms on the couch watching a movie. Mom and Greg were at work, and Emma Grace was fast asleep. “You know our one year anniversary is coming up soon,” I mused.

  “It is.” She kissed my cheek. “I’m so proud you remembered without me having to remind you,” she said with a teasing grin.

  I laughed. “How could I ever forget?” Playing with a strand of her long, dark hair, I said, “I was just wondering what you wanted to do to celebrate. Go to a fancy dinner or stay in? I’m down for whatever you want to do.”

  Maddie’s fingers drew circles over my hand. “Well, I was thinking I wanted to do something big.”

  “Like what?”

  She glanced up to give me a smile that lit me on fire from head to toe. “Make love for the first time.”

  I shot up on the couch and stared at her in shock. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes.”

  “But I thought—”

  Maddie brought her finger to my lips. “If I’ve learned anything in the last year, it’s to say what you feel and experience as much life as you can. You’ve held up to your end of the bargain, Noah. You show me each and every day how much you love me, and you’ve been so very patient and understanding with me. I know I should wait until I get married, but I know that I love you.”

  “And I love you too.” I brought my lips to hers, kissing her with a mixture of hunger and love. When I pulled away, I smiled at her. “I’m not going anywhere, Maddie. You mean everything to me—you saved me from the darkness and brought me to the light. And I can’t imagine a future without you in it. I intend on spending the rest of my life with you.”

  Maddie kissed me tenderly. “I love you, Noah.”

  “I love you too.”

  While that traitorous horndog male in me did a happy dance that I was going to get laid in a few weeks, the emotional side of me realized the enormity of the situation. Yeah, I was nineteen, and I’d found my soul mate. And like Maddie had said, Jake’s death had taught me to live in the moment while also looking to the future.

  And with my family and friends and Maddie at my side, my future was very, very bright.

  Please do me a tremendous favor by leaving a review on Amazon, Barnes and Noble or Goodreads. If you’re not comfortable with leaving a review, find one that you think expresses your feelings and like that review. You don’t know how much it means to Independent Authors.

  Find Katie online at:

  http://www.katieashleybooks.com

  http://katieashleybooks.blogspot.com/

  Facebook:

  https://www.facebook.com/katieashleybooks

  https://www.facebook.com/katie.ashleyromance

  Twitter:

  www.twitter.com/katieashleyluv

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Thanks always to God for his immense blessings in both my professional and personal life. Thanks to my family, friends, and church family for supporting me along this crazy journey.

  Thanks to my former Young Adult Literary agent, Fonda Snyder. You were a pleasure to work with during my rocky path to traditional publication. You never ceased believing in me, Noah, and my other novels. Your input was integral and valuable to Don’t Hate the Player. It was a pleasure working with you for eighteen months, and I will always be grateful for your dedication to me and my car
eer.

  Thanks to Marion Archer, my sister from Down Under! I can’t tell you how much you mean to me as a friend and as a critique partner. Honestly, you helped to make DHtP so much stronger, so much deeper, and so much more amazing than I could ever imagine. Between our zoom chats and comment bubbles, I was able to dig even deeper into the story after so many years.

  To Hannah Wiley: Thank you for everything you brought to Don’t Hate the Player from your multiple critiques to you being a cheerleader and commiserating during the submission process. Most of all, I thank you for your friendship all these years and for believing in me and my writing.

  To Letitia Hasser for a kickass cover. Thanks for all your hard work and dedication on my covers. And thanks for not strangling me when I couldn’t make up my mind!

  To JB McGee for your awesome formatting and always letting me procrastinate aka proofread until the last minute. You rock professionally and personally.

  Thanks to Cris Hardarly for being the sweetest and most amazing friend and support. Thanks also to Shannon Furhman, Emilie Grey, and Tamara Debbaut for your amazing fan art, pimpage, and support of my writing. To all my supporters in my street team, Ashley’s Angels, and to my street Team Captains Michelle Eck and Cris Hardarly.

  To some of the original readers back in the day Debra Driza, Jennifer Wood, Rachele Mielke, and Rebecca Rogers.

  To every reader who has ever picked up one of my books and every blogger who has reviewed it I give you my eternal gratitude and love!!!