Enticed by a Thug Love 3

by Kelly, Marie

  Alvaro ‘Wrath’ Ramsey

  A few days later

  “Alvaro, how long are you going to hide away in here?” Ma questioned me, and I sighed.

  “Ma, not right now,” I said, hoping she would leave me alone with my thoughts, but that was only wishful thinking.

  “Nigga, don’t tell me what to do! I’m not about to leave this room! Now, I’ve allowed you to hide in here for days, and it ends today.”

  I blew out hot air and rubbed a hand down my face.

  “Ma, please,” I said. “Not right now.”

  “No, now! I knew Amanda, Alvaro, and if she chose to hide who she was, she had a good reason to do that!”

  I looked up at my grandmother with my face twisted in irritation. My pops had obviously told her about my mother being alive, so I wasn’t shocked that she knew, but I was shocked that as a mother she was justifying what Cookie had done.

  After much thought, I decided that she didn’t deserve me calling her mom, so she was still Cookie to me.

  I was hurt, tight as fuck, and confused as to why she chose to hide her identity from us.

  Remembering how she used to buy us shit that we always wanted as kids and I just put it down to good luck or taste had me laughing out loud to myself.

  “You sitting here shutting people out and being mad at the world instead of listening to what people have to say! People make mistakes, Wrath!” Ma snapped, and I chuckled, knowing she wasn’t just talking about my mother.

  “Ma, I don’t want to talk about Kanada.”

  Since we had that talk, we hadn’t said anything to each other. I would admit, she had me in my thoughts after she asked me what I would have done if it was KeKe and I was in her position, but sometimes pride had a way of making you blind to the truth in front of you. She had a point, but at the same time, I was having a hard time trusting people.

  Shit, I trusted my own fucking brother, and where did that lead me? And to some extent, I trusted Cookie too. I had started to bond with her. It wasn’t just about supplying her, I would talk to her, ask around for her, and do anything in my power to make sure she was straight. It was deeper than me just being someone she could get drugs from, and she lied to me.

  “Your mother had her reasons, and when the time comes, you will hear what she has to say. As for Guns, that boy needs help, Alvaro. It’s plain to see that woman manipulated him, but stop making Kanada pay for their mistakes! You’re shutting out a good woman who could be here holding you down while you deal with all this, but you too damn stubborn!”

  Ma was so angry that her little fists were clenched down by her side.

  “Was it my stubbornness that made her lie to me?” I threw back, and she angrily chuckled.

  “No, it’s your stubbornness that is refusing to see that she made an honest mistake—one that came from fear, not disloyalty. I thought you were smart enough to see the difference!”

  That made my face clench.

  “Ma, I love you, but for real, now isn’t the time, okay?”

  I needed to wrap my mind around my mother being alive and my brother setting me up. Kanada wasn’t something I needed to add to that list.

  To me, her, my mother, and brother were all in the same category. None were sorry until they were caught!

  Had my pops not been there that night, Cookie would have allowed me to still believe that she was dead. Guns only came clean when he found out that Faye wasn’t behind him like he thought she was, and Kanada only wanted to tell me the truth once I found it out for myself.

  If they were mad that I wasn’t fucking with them, they needed to be mad at themselves.

  “You know she has a point, Alvaro. What would you have done if it was you and Keke?”

  My eyes shot up to meet Ma’s, and they turned into slits as I glared at her.

  “You know what you would have done? The same fucking thing! You would have done the same thing you swore never to do just to feed KeKe, and you can deny it all you want, but I know you!”

  I sat on my bed just looking up at her without anything to say.

  “When you never make a mistake then you can sit there like you’re perfect. Now, either you get rid of that fucking pride and talk to that girl, or you’re gonna miss out on the best thing that happened to you. You can sit there and pretend that you weren’t happy with Kanada, but I know the truth, and I know what I saw. You love her, and when you lose her, you can only blame yourself. But best believe until you fix your shit, I won’t say shit to you!”

  “Ma?!” I called out to her, but she ignored me, snatched my door open, and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

  “Damn!”

  I lay back on my bed and looked up at the ceiling.

  My brain was working overtime; I couldn’t even think clearly.

  Hearing my stomach rumble, I decided to push all my thoughts to the side and get something to eat since it was clear that Ma wasn’t going to feed me.

  I shook my head at that woman and scoffed.

  “She wonders where I get my stubbornness from.”

  Pushing the blanket off my body, I climbed out of bed and stretched my body. After fixing my bed, I headed into my bathroom to start my day.

  Tomorrow was my meeting with Trojan, but outside of that, life was finally good and back to normal. We had people out looking for Faye, and once she was dealt with, we would be straight.

  After I was finished in the bathroom, I pulled on a wifebeater, ball shorts, socks, and my sliders before leaving my room to find something to eat.

  As I stepped into my kitchen, I looked around to see Kanada and TJ sitting down eating. She looked up at me, and I found myself stuck there looking back at her. Her question from the last time we spoke circled my head, and so did my answer.

  She looked at me for a few more seconds and then turned away from my gaze. I don’t know why, but I still found myself looking at her, even though she was no longer looking at me.

  “Have you finished, baby?” Kanada asked TJ, and he nodded.

  “Good boy.”

  TJ smiled at his mother’s words, and she picked up their plates.

  My eyes stayed glued on her while she cleaned away their plates and then she helped him down from the table.

  “Good morning, Daddy.” TJ greeted me at the door, and I lifted him into my arms.

  “Good morning, little man. You good?”

  “Yes, Daddy. When are we moving to our new house?” he asked, and I frowned at him.

  “What new house?” I asked him but looked at Kanada, who had her head down.

  “The one I saw with Mommy,” he started to explain but stopped when Kanada took him from my arms.

  “Kanada, what is he talking about?” I asked and reached out to her, but she moved from my grasp.

  “It’s time for your bath, TJ,” Kanada addressed him while ignoring me, and I felt my chest get tight.

  Was she moving out?

  “Kanada,” I called out to her again, but she was out of the room before I could say another word.

  I started to go after her but stopped when my phone vibrated in my hand.

  Britt: Hi, Alvaro, I hope you’re okay. I was just wondering if we could talk whenever you’re free, please xxx

  Reading her message made me sigh and run a hand down my face.

  Things had changed between Kanada and me, and now it seemed that she was about to move out. And then there was Brittany, who had my daughter, and someone who I had a chance to see what could happen with us.

  But I had no idea which way to turn.

  I looked behind me at the door Kanada had just walked out of and then down at my phone again before making my choice.

  Me: Hey Britt, I’m good. I will come see you in a few days, and we can talk then.

  Amanda ‘Cookie’ Anderson

  I nervously sat as Jackson looked at me. Since that night he found me again, all he had been doing was staring at me. I knew he had a lot of questions, and I had a lot to explain, b
ut it was like neither of us knew where to start.

  Even though I had a lot to explain, I just didn’t know where to even begin. After the night I saw Jackson, he had me staying in a safe house with him. They explained everything that happened and how his wife was sleeping with Meshach. It hurt to know that he married another woman and that she was interfering with my youngest son, but I knew the blame could only lay with me. Had I been strong enough to stay away from drugs and been the mother that my sons deserved, none of that would have happened.

  Jackson looked over at me, and I dropped my head.

  “How, Amanda? I looked for you, and I was told that you were dead. Why didn’t you come back?” he asked, and I dropped my head even lower. “How did you even end up on drugs?”

  I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

  “I don’t even know, Jackson. It was like I wasn’t myself anymore. I had been feeling very sick for a while, and I just put it down to me having Meshach. Your mom was watching the boys, and I went for a walk. I saw a fiend in an alley shooting up drugs, and for some reason, I found myself wanting some; mouth watering for it. I asked them for some, and before I knew it, I had lost control,” I cried.

  I felt so ashamed telling him about my problem, but after all I had done, I knew that he deserved to know the truth.

  “I tried to help you,” Jackson said, and I nodded because he had done everything in his power to help me.

  “You did, but I was too far gone by then, Jackson, and I’m sorry that I let y’all down.” I broke down, and he rushed over to me.

  “You didn’t, Amanda. I let you down by not being there for you.”

  I cradled my face as I cried into my hands.

  “I didn’t want to leave y’all, especially my boys. They were babies and needed me, but I was so ashamed. I was ashamed of who I was becoming and of what I had done to y’all. I was a mess, so I thought by leaving, I was saving y’all from having to save me. But I thought about y’all every day,” I said behind my hands, and Jackson took them from my face.

  When I woke up one day high out of my mind, and Meshach was screaming at the top of his little lungs, I knew right then that they would be better off without me. They didn’t deserve a mother like me in their life, so I told Ma to watch them so I could go to the store, and I never went back. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I had to keep telling myself it was for their own good, so that I wouldn’t go back. I was sick, and they didn’t need my sickness in their lives. In my eyes, I was protecting them from me.

  “I looked for you every day, Amanda. I never stopped,” he said with his own tears falling.

  “I know, but I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

  I was out on the streets for a month when I heard that Jackson was looking for me. Out of fear and embarrassment, not wanting him to see the state I was in, I started a rumor that Amanda Anderson was dead, and I left the state.

  Whatever money I had left that I hadn’t used for drugs, I relocated to Charlotte because I knew it was a city that Jackson had no connections with, so it was unlikely that I would ever run into him there. I hid out there for almost twenty years, and during that time, I tried so many times to get clean so that I could return to my family. But fear of them rejecting me stopped me, and I used drugs more, hoping it would help me forget about them, and it did until I had to come back to New York.

  My sister had died, and I came to say my final goodbyes to her. By then, things had changed, and I heard someone new was in charge. Knowing that it was no longer Jackson made it easy to stay, and because I had been missing for over two decades, I knew that he wasn’t looking for me anymore. That lasted until one day I stumbled across Alvaro.

  I knew the second I laid eyes on him that he was my son, but he didn’t know who I was. It was both bitter and sweet that he didn’t recognize me. Bitter because my son that I still longed for didn’t know who I was. And sweet for the same reason—It gave me the chance to be around him without him knowing who I was, and that was how I came into his life.

  “Why didn’t you tell Alvaro who you were? He would have helped you and brought you back to me.”

  “I was scared. Plus, it looked like they had been doing good without me. They grew up strong and so handsome.” I smiled thinking about my sons.

  When I first saw Alvaro, I couldn’t believe how handsome, tall, and strong he had grown. He was a little boy when I left, but because of how much he looked like Jackson, I knew who he was. He looked how Jackson did when I left all those years ago. Seeing Meshach was the biggest surprise for me because he was only weeks old when I walked away.

  “We survived, Amanda, but we didn’t live, at least I didn’t. There wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t think about or miss you. I cried for you almost every night and mourned you every day. You were the love of my life, Amanda, and I couldn’t fully function without you. I did what I had to do for the boys, but I needed you, baby.”

  Looking into Jackson’s eyes, I felt his pain, and it made me feel even worse. I thought that I was leaving to save them, but now it had me wondering if I just made it worse.

  “I messed everything up, and I’m so sorry! I missed out on everything. The boys hate me.”

  After Jackson revealed who I was, the boys didn’t react how I thought they would, and I could understand that. Once the initial shock wore off, it was replaced with anger. One that I understood.

  For years I had been around Alvaro—we spoke, and he shared a few things with me—he trusted me, and I let him down.

  Although I spoke to the other two and Pharaoh, it wasn’t like with Alvaro. He was bonding with me, and me with him, and now he sees it as me lying and betraying him.

  “They don’t hate you, Manda. They’re just confused and maybe a little hurt.”

  “I know.” I dropped my head.

  “I wanted to tell him. There were so many times when I wanted to tell him, but I just couldn’t, Jackson.”

  “I understand.”

  He took my hands in his and kissed the back of them.

  “You are still so beautiful, Amanda,” he said, making me blush and shy away from his eyes.

  “I’m not.” I pulled my hand from his, but he pulled it back.

  I knew that the drugs had me looking old, thinner, and sick. My once long, black hair had seen better days and was breaking. My skin was dull, and I had bags around my eyes.

  The only good thing was that I was a functioning addict, so I kept my clothes clean, my body washed, and my teeth brushed, but outside of that, I knew I looked nothing like I used to or could have looked if it wasn’t for the drugs.

  “You are.”

  We sat staring into each other’s eyes for a second before I looked away again.

  “I heard you remarried,” I said, and he sighed.

  During my many talks with Alvaro, he let me know that he had a stepmother.

  “I’m sorry, I—”

  He started to explain, but I stopped him by putting my hand up.

  “No need to apologize, Jackson. I was gone, and you were right to move on. I’m not mad about that.”

  “I never moved on, Amanda, because my heart stayed with you. Plus, she wasn’t who I thought she was.”

  Anger rose up inside of me when I remembered about his wife taking advantage of my son.

  “This is all my fault. I should have been there to protect him! He was just a boy!” I gritted, and Jackson hugged me.

  “All that matters now is that you are back, Amanda. You’re back in our lives, and I’m never letting you go again.”

  “What about the boys? They won’t even talk to me.”

  The whole time I had been with Jackson, he had been trying to get the boys to come and see me, but they hadn’t been yet. Only Guns, but he didn’t have much to say. I felt sorry for him because he felt like I was—ashamed.

  “They will come around, Amanda, just give them time.”

  I nodded because he was right.

 
Time was a healer, and I hoped that was right in my case. But, for now, I had something to do that may help.

  I turned to look Jackson right in the eyes before I said, “I want to go to rehab.”

  It was time!

  Faye Ramsey

  The door opened, and I smiled when I saw the two women walk in. They looked around, probably confused as to why they were meeting with me. Their eyes nervously scanned our surroundings before they both looked at me.

  “Ladies, thank you for joining me,” I said as I stood to my feet. “Please take a seat. Can I offer you a drink or something?”

  “No, thank you,” they both answered as they took a seat in front of me.

  “I know you both must be wondering why I got in contact with you and asked you to meet me, so I will just get right into it.” I took my seat and looked at them.

  To be honest, I had no idea if I could trust them, but desperate times called for desperate measures. It had been a few days, and after still not hearing back from Bully, I knew in my heart that my nephew was dead and that they knew it was me.

  How Guns came to find out about me was a mystery because it was obvious that he told his brothers about us. Not hearing from him again was a dead giveaway. When I tell you that nigga was so stuck on me that he would call me every fucking day and beg to see me, it wasn’t a lie or overstatement; the nigga was on me hard!

  The ladies looked up at me with confused expressions because I had yet to say anything to them.

  “Um, so it’s come to my attention that the two of you have had some dealings with the Ramsey men. Trinity, I understand that your baby father used to work for them until Wrath killed him. And you, Gena, dealt with Legion for years, only for him to pick another woman over you.”

  Their eyes widened at my confession, and I smirked, knowing I had their attention.

  “How do you know that?” Gena asked, and I smiled at her.

  “Let’s just say I’ve been at the mercy of those men, and I think it’s time they find out that they can’t just go around doing what they want to people.”