The Album: What happens when you fall in love with a rock star? (Cruise Control Book 1)

by Sian Ceinwen

  More to come.

  Ariana felt sick at the way the paparazzi exploited every aspect of Gabriel’s life for monetary gain. The article was accompanied by a few grainy photographs of the band at a restaurant along with a couple of him and Elena cuddling and even one of them kissing. Ariana was unsure if a paparazzo had taken the photos or if they were taken by an enterprising restaurant patron or staff member.

  Either way, this was the life that would have been hers if she’d stayed with Gabriel. Elena was clearly better equipped to deal with it. She was a model, she was an heiress, and she belonged in the limelight next to him. Feeling particularly masochistic, Ariana continued to click Gabriel’s name at the bottom of each article and slowly filled herself in on what he’d been doing over the past two years.

  There were so many articles that she lost track of time. She read about the release of Heart Wide Open, watched videos of them promoting it, and she began to click on and read articles about the rest of the band as well.

  She learned about Heather’s budding fashion line, Sebastian’s supposed orgy in Las Vegas, Harrison’s trip to his elementary school to meet a young child with cancer, and Hayden’s six-month relationship with someone named Blake Stirling. In fact, there was so much information on the internet that Ariana could practically map out their entire lives over the course of the time she’d been out of them.

  She found herself missing them all terribly. She’d give anything to hear Heather’s voice right now or even a sarcastic remark from Sebastian. It hurt her so badly to know that there was another woman that had filled her place in their lives. No doubt they had their own in-jokes and friendships with her, too. Ariana left them all behind, and they had moved on without her.

  She shut the laptop in the middle of a video of Gabriel singing along with a fan he’d come across singing one of their songs in a mall. The room became dark, and she realized that she’d spent hours on the computer, so long that night had fallen. She made her way to her bed and lay down.

  At least today, she had been able to say all the things that she’d wished she had said to him two years ago. She’d gotten her chance to have her say, and that was more than she deserved. Gabriel would be able to close this chapter of his life with her and move on to the next one without that baggage. She’d been able to give him that gift.

  Sure, she’d been broken into a million pieces in the process, but that was just the price she had to pay. She’d never felt more alone in her life. Wistfully thinking about all the things that could’ve been in an alternate reality where she hadn’t broken up with Gabriel, she fell asleep wishing more than anything that things could’ve been different.

  Netflix And Chill

  On Tuesday morning, Ariana arrived early to catch up on her emails from the day before, so she was sitting at her desk when Charlotte arrived at work. They exchanged an awkward greeting, and then there was silence between them. Ariana finished sending an email to a client and turned to her deskmate.

  “I owe you an apology.”

  Charlotte turned her chair to face Ariana.

  “Obviously you know now that I knew Cruise Control and it wasn’t nice of me to pretend that I didn’t. I lied to you, and for that, I am truly sorry.”

  Charlotte frowned and took a moment before replying, “thank you for apologizing. I can understand where you were coming from, but I’m hurt that you didn’t think we were close enough to talk about it.”

  Charlotte was right to feel hurt. They’d become good friends at work over the last two years. Occasionally, they’d go out to drinks or a movie together on a Friday evening, and keeping this huge secret from her had always made Ariana feel cruel.

  “Do you remember the first day we met, Charlotte?”

  Charlotte shrugged in response.

  “Pretty much the first thing you talked to me about was Cruise Control. I can’t even tell you how I thought the universe was punishing me when I was barely a month or so out from breaking up with Gabriel, and I had to come to work and see his picture every day and act like it was no big thing.”

  Ariana gestured towards the picture of Cruise Control pinned up at Charlotte’s desk, and she cringed.

  “Oh shit, that must have sucked. Sorry.”

  “No, it’s fine. You literally couldn’t have known; it just seemed like a sick kind of torture for me.”

  Charlotte shook her head, “I wish you’d just told me. I would never have put you through that if I’d known!”

  Ariana smiled, “it’s okay; some days, it was nice to hear a bit about the band, but yeah, a lot of days did suck.”

  Charlotte got up from her chair, came over and gave Ariana a hug before sitting down again.

  “Man, you have no idea how stressed I was yesterday about seeing you. I thought you were angry at me because you didn’t answer my messages on Facebook,” Charlotte said.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I completely panicked and muted our conversation without thinking.”

  “I get it; you had just seen your ex for the first time in two years. That’s hard enough even when your ex isn’t an international rock star!” Charlotte cringed.

  “So what happened after I left? You must’ve been in complete shock.”

  “Oh my god, Ariana,” Charlotte’s mouth dropped open as she remembered it, “they were all there, like the entire band, and I completely freaked out. They were asking how I knew you and where you worked and how long we’d known each other.

  “It was so surreal, I just answered all their questions, and I told Gabriel where you worked without thinking, I probably should’ve checked with you first, I’m sorry. I tried to give you a heads up, but you weren’t replying to my messages.”

  Poor Charlotte. Ariana knew the star power that Cruise Control held over her. She’d put her friend in a pretty awkward situation when she left her there.

  “Shit, was he here when you got in on Monday?”

  “No, I was just sitting here, and next thing you know, Georgia was walking him into Mister Wilson’s office. They talked for a bit, and then he came and just sat down in your chair like it was nothing out of the ordinary. I almost died!” Charlotte’s eyes were wide at the memory.

  “What did he talk to you about?”

  “Just general stuff, real estate, a bit about his plans now that the tour is over. He’s so fucking nice.”

  Ariana smiled a genuine smile as Charlotte said this.

  “I’d practically forgotten he is who he is by the time you arrived.”

  Gabriel really was one of the nicest human beings she’d ever met, and he would’ve been able to sense Charlotte’s nerves and was able to put even one of his biggest fans at ease.

  “Look, just so you know, I’m not angry that you told him where I work. It was actually really good to get a chance to clear the air with him.”

  “Did it go okay? I noticed you didn’t come back afterward.”

  “Yeah, it was…” She paused, “okay. He has a girlfriend, so there’s that.”

  “Elena Kass,” Charlotte blurted it out immediately and then blushed, “sorry, I could’ve told you that.”

  “It’s all right; it is what it is,” Ariana shrugged and sighed.

  “Can I ask you something that I’m dying to know, but you totally don’t have to answer if you don’t want to?”

  Ariana was pretty certain she knew what this question would be but nodded her head all the same.

  “Why the fuck would you ever break up with Gabriel Knight?”

  Despite herself, Ariana laughed at the way Charlotte had phrased the question. Now wasn’t the time and place for the whole story, maybe one day she would share it with her, but a condensed version would suffice for now.

  “I was stupid, basically. Their world is really intense, and I was young and couldn’t handle it. I have a family member who’s an actor, and so I’ve seen what fame and that kind of attention can do to people. Going into it with that fear of celebrity already formed meant that we were kind of doom
ed from the beginning.”

  “You have a famous relative?” Charlotte was distracted by this tidbit of information.

  “Yeah, Darius Thompson is my uncle.”

  “You are shitting me,” Charlotte’s jaw dropped.

  “Nope, I’m really not.”

  “Okay, wait…so…wait. Your uncle is Darius Thompson, and your ex-boyfriend is Gabriel Knight, and I’ve known you for two years, and I did not know this!”

  Ariana laughed and covered her face with her hands before peeking through them at Charlotte.

  “I’m sorry! I never really talk about my uncle, and we’ve covered why I didn’t tell you about Gabriel.”

  Charlotte was laughing now, too, “it’s all good. I guess you’re just full of surprises. Anything else you want to tell me? Is there a queen that’s your godmother, maybe?”

  Charlotte’s phone rang as they laughed at her comment, and the conversation ended. Ariana went to a meeting with a client shortly after that and was back at her desk later that afternoon when her phone pinged with a text from a number she didn’t recognize.

  How are you doing? I’ve been thinking about you.

  Her heart skipped a beat as she read the message. She was ninety percent sure that it had to be from Gabriel. He’d obviously changed his number in the last two years while hers had stayed the same.

  Who is this?

  She had to be certain. It was only seconds before she saw the reply.

  It’s Gabe.

  If you had my number, you probably didn’t have to come to my work.

  I didn’t think of that. I’m glad you’ve still got this number, though.

  Ariana closed her eyes and took a deep breath, envisioning him on his phone, texting her, even this connection through text had her heart swelling.

  Me, too. Yeah, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?

  Come on, Ari. It’s me.

  That nickname.

  Okay, well yeah. I cried after you left. You have a girlfriend. What do you want from me? To say I’m happy for you?

  I’m sorry I made you cry.

  You didn’t make me cry. You told me information, and my reaction was to cry.

  Ariana laughed to herself and thought that her therapy was showing. This was definitely something that her therapist would say to her, for sure. She tried as much as she could to own her emotions these days. She wasn’t perfect, and she failed often, but she tried.

  Fine, I’m sorry I told you information that had the end result of you crying.

  There you go. Shouldn’t you be texting your girlfriend, though?

  Ariana freaked out. She wondered if that was too bitchy. She reread their conversation from the beginning and reached the bottom as his reply came through.

  I text her. I just like to text my friends as well.

  Is that what we are?

  Are we not friends, Ari? If not, I’d like to be.

  Friendship with Gabriel, could she even do that? This seemed like a treacherous path to travel down. Yet, she was enjoying this back and forth.

  Sure. Friends. I mean, it’s not like we’ve ever fucked each other silly, oh wait…

  She laughed and sent through a GIF of someone with a cringing smile looking to the side awkwardly.

  Are you implying that people who have had sex together can’t be friends?

  I’m not sure. I’ve never tried. I like to just hit it and quit it.

  Oh yeah, that sounds so much like you, Ari.

  He sent through a GIF of Jennifer Lawrence saying “okay” and giving a thumbs-up, and Ariana laughed out loud.

  They continued to send messages back and forth after that. Every time she saw one of his texts, she would light up inside. He made her laugh, and she realized how much she had missed having his presence in her life.

  What are you up to after work?

  He texted this to her on Friday afternoon.

  Nothing, why?

  Want to come over to my place and watch a movie?

  Ariana was surprised by this invitation. She hadn’t expected to see him again any time soon.

  Sure. Who else is coming?

  No one. I just thought it would be nice to catch up. I’ll order a pizza and we can watch something on Netflix, it’ll be fun.

  She took her time replying. She knew this was a dangerous idea, but she desperately wanted to see him again, so she replied.

  Okay. What’s your address?

  Later that afternoon, they were getting ready to leave work when Ariana turned to Charlotte.

  “Have you got much planned for the weekend?”

  Charlotte blushed, “yeah, I’ve got a date tonight.”

  “Exciting! Where did you meet him?”

  “On Tinder, he seems nice. What are you up to?” Charlotte asked.

  “I’m going to Gabriel’s to watch a movie,” Ariana told her as casually as she could.

  “You’re what?!” Charlotte responded.

  “It should be good; we’re going to get pizza.”

  “Is the whole band going to be there?” Charlotte looked a little bit confused.

  “No, just me and him,” Ariana admitted sheepishly.

  “Have he and Elena broken up?”

  “Not to my knowledge,” she flushed bright red now.

  “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Charlotte raised an eyebrow at her.

  “What do you mean? We’re just friends!”

  “Ariana Chamberlain, from what I know, you and Gabriel had some epic love story that never really ended. He wrote probably the best album in the entire world literally about you, and he is dating someone else. I’m not going to judge you, but if you don’t think this is a terrible idea, you’re crazy.”

  “Sounds pretty judgy to me,” Ariana scoffed.

  “Hey, I’m just looking out for you,” Charlotte gave her a quick hug, “you do you, girl. I’ll talk to you later.”

  With Charlotte’s ominous warning ringing in her ears, Ariana took an Uber to Gabriel’s apartment. She buzzed up to him, and he let her into the building. She took the elevator to Gabriel’s floor, and as she got out, she saw that there were only two doors on this floor. She knocked on the one to the left, number 37B.

  When he opened the door, he gave her a hug, making a point of ending it quickly and said cheerfully, “it’s good to see your face, friend!”

  “You too, friend,” she replied with a wry smile.

  “Do you want a drink?”

  “Sure, vodka and orange.”

  “I should’ve known,” Gabriel rolled his eyes at her.

  She laughed as he went to get her drink and grabbed himself a beer as well, then they sat down on the sofa together, and he began looking through his phone for something they could watch on Netflix.

  “I dreamed about you last night,” he said, with an incredibly casual tone for the information he was giving her.

  “Do you dream about me often?” She asked him, her breathing quickening as she wondered what exactly his dream had been about.

  “Probably more than I should,” was his cryptic reply, “what about this?”

  He turned his phone towards her and moved closer to her so that she could see. Ariana struggled to focus on making a choice—her body was on high alert from being this close to him again. Their knees were touching ever so slightly, and his scent was intoxicating. Her brain was filled with images of them in bed together.

  “Sure.”

  She managed to focus enough to give her approval of the comedy he was suggesting they watch, and they chatted as he was ordering them pizza on his phone. He told her more about the band’s plans to have a songwriting retreat later in the year, and she filled him in on the holiday she’d saved up for and taken to Venice last year.

  “It looks awesome, I wish I could’ve been there,” he said, flipping through the pics on her phone.

  His words hung in the air; the meaning behind them was obvious. She had a stinging realization that if she hadn’t broken up with him,
they could’ve gone together.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad,” he said, “I’m glad you had a great time. Let’s get this movie started.”

  The pizza arrived about halfway through the movie. They had finished it and a second round of drinks by the time the movie ended. It was so good to sit and laugh with him again. It felt like old times.

  “So, what do you want to do now?”

  Gabriel asked this as he turned towards her on the sofa. He was so close that she could smell his cologne. His knee barely brushed hers as they sat there.

  “I don’t know. What did you have in mind?”

  “Plenty,” he replied, and his eyes went dark.

  She could see the lust she was feeling reflected by him. All she could think about was his touch, and she wanted to close the distance between them.

  “Your hair is falling out of your ponytail,” he said and reached forward to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear.

  As his skin touched hers, she felt an electric shock flow through her as desire overcame her. For a fleeting instant, she had visions of him pushing her back on the sofa and covering her body with his before a fundamental truth hit her with a powerful force, enough to cut through her lust and bring her crashing back to Earth.

  “You have a girlfriend.”

  He dropped his arm immediately away from her and to his side.

  “I have a girlfriend,” he replied dully.

  Never before had Ariana wanted their circumstances to be different as much as she wanted that now. This thing between them was as all-consuming now as it had been two years ago, but she couldn’t do this. She wouldn’t be the “other woman” in someone’s relationship. She’d watched her aunt go through this, and it had been her biggest fear for a long time, but being on this side of it was so much worse.

  “Does she know that I’m here tonight?”

  “No, she doesn’t,” Gabriel admitted.

  Ariana sighed and asked, “does she know that we’ve been texting?”