Bittersweet Moments

by Bowie, Emily

  “Thank you. That means a lot to me.” My words vibrate against his chest.

  “I know, Raya. I know.”

  CHAPTER 36

  “I thought you were the rancher and not Kellen,” a voice booms from the front porch.

  “What are you doing home, Rhett?”

  My older brother shrugs, placing his hands in his pockets. “They called a family emergency and I came in to help with your mess.” He chuckles, seeing my features harden.

  I grunt, hating the one time I leave to do anything important something goes wrong.

  “I hope it’s not the Brax curse starting to show up again.” I can see him trying to cover up his smile as he bugs me only as a brother can.

  “Some of us don’t shit gold. Tell me, does it hurt?” I ask in my most serious voice.

  His carefree laugh echoes off our porch. “Only when it stays stuck up my ass.” He begins to look around. “So, where are they? I didn’t get a good look at her last time.”

  Arching my eyebrow, it tells him everything he already knows. They didn’t come back with me. As a man, it’s a hard pill to swallow.

  “Come on, I’ll take you to Kellen. He’s been working all night fixing up fences. You owe him.”

  “What the hell have you been doing?” I ask.

  He shows me his hands. “These babies are insured for millions. I can’t do that type of work.” He laughs again, and I can’t tell if he’s being serious or not.

  I grunt out a response. This is the most I’ve seen my brother since he left Three Rivers, making me worried as to why he keeps popping back in. The tabloids have been posting new rumors about him every day. There has to be some truth to it all.

  *

  Wiping the sweat from my brow, I look down the long line of the fence I’ve been working on. I have not stopped working since I arrived this morning. This is the last post needing to be done. Not only did I fix the posts that were torn down, but also any others that looked like they needed to be replaced. I refuse to take any chances. When Raya and Madden get here, I want to be free to enjoy my time with them.

  “You know I wasn’t trying to be an asshole earlier, right?”

  My back straightens hearing Nate’s voice behind me. My fists automatically curl, wanting a chance to hit him. Slowly, I stand up, brushing my hands off on my dirty jeans.

  “I’m not the enemy here. If I thought Raya would live happily ever after with you, I would step aside and gladly watch it happen.”

  I don’t believe a word he says. “What the hell are you doing here?” Part of me holds on to hope that he dropped my girl off sooner than expected.

  “I’m only going to ask one more time. Give her up. You will be saving both of you a lot of heartbreak in the end.”

  There is a fire in his eyes that makes him look dangerous, but I’m not afraid. He’s not the first asshole I’ve dealt with in my life.

  “What’s your deal, man? You love her and can’t see her with anyone else?”

  His mouth turns down. “She’s like a little sister to me. You’re more my type.” He does a slow look starting at my feet and moving all the way up to my face before giving me an arrogant smirk.

  I’m not sure what to do with that. “Um, I…. Thank you?”

  “I’m fucking with you. But when it comes to Raya, break it off with her.” Then I watch him walk away to where he parked his car.

  “What makes you think I’m not going to call her and tell her what you’re really like?” I holler at his back. He turns around, looking unimpressed with my threat.

  “If you value your ranch or life, I would advise against that.” He looks at me as if I’m a bug to be squashed, like I’m some small ripple in his way.

  “See you this weekend, when you drop my family off.”

  “It’s too bad your handsome face might get ruined. Pity.” With that as his parting words, he gets into his car and leaves me by my fence. My breaths come in shallow, as I want to kill this man with my bare hands. No one threatens me or my family.

  Now that Nate has shown me his hand, I can start to plan how to save Raya from him. Both of our futures may need it. I don’t trust him, and I know I need to get my family away from him. He is far more dangerous than a jealous friend. I have no idea how far he would go to make sure I’m out of the picture.

  As if knowing my thoughts are on her, my phone rings with Raya’s new ringtone I have for her.

  “Raya,” I answer, wondering just how much she truly knows about Nate.

  “How is everything?”

  “Almost all fixed up now. You should come out, ask Nate to drive you up right now,” I probe, trying to see if she knows where he is without asking.

  “I’ll be out soon enough. Nate and I still need to talk I think.”

  “You haven’t done that yet?”

  “No, he left a few hours after you to go to work, and who knows when he’ll be back.”

  “How often does he take these day trips?”

  “Only when the price seems to be right, or when he gets a new boyfriend. I think he has one now. That’s why he keeps going MIA so often the last few weeks.”

  I know it’s not a boyfriend he’s seeing. I can’t help but think it could be someone way more dangerous than himself.

  “What did you say Nate did before he was your bodyguard?”

  “Why the interest in Nate all of a sudden?” I can hear she’s starting to get defensive about him, thinking it’s my jealousy.

  “I know he’s your best friend and was hoping I could get to know him better. That’s all,” I lie, knowing she wouldn’t believe me if I did tell her.

  Her breath hits the phone, making a crackling sound. “Please be nice to him,” she finally says after a moment of silence. “He’s been around since I was ten. Before you, he was the only one who ever stood up for me. I might not have made it through all those years at my parents’ house without him.”

  “Okay,” I concede, not wanting to fight about it on the phone. “I love you. That’s all, Raya, and I get worried.”

  “Me too,” she says quietly.

  I’m not sure if she is saying “me too” to me saying I love you or not. I have a feeling it’s not to that. I refuse to let my heart drop. I honestly wanted to wait till we were in person, but it just slipped out so naturally. I honestly have never stopped loving her.

  “I wish I didn’t have to hide. Honestly, I feel at a bit of a loss right now on how to handle everything.”

  I wait for her to continue, understanding where she’s coming from.

  “Any chance you want to run away with me?” she tries to joke.

  “Ray, once you’re here, there will never be a reason for you to run again. I promise you that on my life.”

  CHAPTER 37

  As soon as the car stops, I can hear squealing from the outside. Shay, my once good friend and Brax’s youngest and only sister, comes running out of her parents’ house with a baby on her hip.

  Jumping out of the car to greet my friend, she gives me one of her infamous hugs, one that squeezes you to the core with how much love she pours into it.

  “I missed you,” she says before her eyes land on Madden.

  Madden grips onto my hand, looking at all the land around us at the Steeles’ ranch, with Nate standing protectively behind him, our bags in his hands. We decided to come up a day earlier than Brax expected, wanting to surprise him. Shay was all up for helping me out, while Nate has stayed grumpy about the whole trip, wanting me to wait till the planned day.

  Kneeling down to Madden’s level, she introduces herself. “Hi there, buddy. I’m Shay. This is Mattie, and that over there—” She points to the shy-looking boy on the porch. “—is Connor. He’s your age.”

  Madden nods before looking around him. Knowing my son has family warms my heart. I know Shay is going to be a wonderful auntie. I never had extended family, no real aunts or uncles. It was lonely just being me and my inattentive parents.

  “I recogni
ze you,” Shay tells Nate, looking at him. He gives her an “I don’t think so” look. “You lived two doors down from us in college, didn’t you?”

  She’s right there. Nate had to stay close to me, but we never made it known in public that we knew each other.

  “I couldn’t say, to be honest,” he answers back, used to years of hiding who he really was to me.

  “Okay…” Nate’s word lingers as he looks at me, not wanting to leave me here. “Guess I’ll be going. If you need anything, call me.” He pulls me in for a hug, and it feels like I have my friend back. No matter how much we’ve been disagreeing lately, I know he’s here for me. “You too, buddy.” He looks at Madden.

  Madden nods as he cautiously begins to head toward Connor.

  “Thank you, Nate.” I mean it. I wish I could do something for him, since he seems to always help me out. Reluctantly, he hands me our bags, and I place the strap around my torso.

  Grabbing hold of my arm, he looks me in the eye. “Seriously, Raya, if you need me, call me. I don’t care if it’s a spider that needs to be stepped on.”

  “I’ll be fine. But yes, if anything comes up, you will be the first person I call.” He seems to relax slightly with my admission. It’s always been this way with Nate. He could never turn off that protector role in my life.

  Turning back to the Steeles’ family ranch house, I see Helen, Brax’s mother, already talking to Connor and Madden. I wouldn’t be able to keep a smile off my face even if I wanted to. Madden and I both deserve this life. A family who loves us. The thought scares me only for a moment, until I realize I don’t feel suffocated, just relieved.

  I had hoped Brax’s parents would welcome us with open arms. I was expecting the worse, not knowing if they could understand the decision I was forced to make for everyone’s well-being. If I hadn’t done that, I would’ve been forced to marry one of my father’s men. Who knew if Madden would have survived the pregnancy? And knowing my father, he would have made trouble for Brax in any way he could.

  Shay embraces me with another hug. “Everyone is so happy you’re here,” she whispers to me, leading me to the front porch.

  “Raya, it’s so nice to see you and meet my little grandson.” Helen looks to be completely beaming. “This is the greatest gift anyone could give me. Thank you.” Her eyes are glistening from unshed tears.

  “Thank you so much for welcoming us.” I move my hand to squeeze hers.

  “Why don’t you place your bags in Brax’s house while I get the boys some ice cream?” The mention of ice cream makes both boys perk their heads up and cheer.

  “Thank you.” I look to Helen, but she’s already ushering the kids inside.

  “Come on.” Shay drags me by my hand toward Brax’s house. “Everyone is so excited you’re here. I hope you don’t mind, but once I let it slip, everyone kind of took over and planned a cookout.” She looks at me sheepishly, unsure of my reaction.

  “One big family dinner,” I state, the thought making me nervous. Blowing out a breath of air, I nod. “Might as well.”

  “Oh, good. I can tell them you’re on our side, because Brax may shit a brick when he finds out.” She makes a face where her lips go wide and straight out, looking like an emoji.

  “Why is that?” She doesn’t look like she’s that worried.

  “I know he’s going to want to keep you to himself for as long as possible. But we all agreed he already had his time for that.” She says it as if it’s final, with a sharp nod that has me smiling. Shay always had a way of making you feel included no matter what.

  “Just toss your stuff in his room and let’s go.”

  I pause, looking at his room while my eyes travel to the closed guest room.

  “That room is off limits. Otherwise, Brax will really have my head for taking his thunder.”

  I laugh, her words making me feel warm and fuzzy knowing Brax has done something special for Madden. Or at least that’s what I’m assuming.

  CHAPTER 38

  One more day till I get to see Raya. I’ve taken this time to get Madden’s room ready, hoping it will make him feel at home.

  As much as I hate it, I feel like I’m going to have to sell half my herd of cattle, unable to wait for the auction. But with that, the money should hold everything together until the fall auctions start, or until I find a Plan B.

  I hate that it only seems to be a cash flow problem. We’re rich in assets. At least I was able to get our interest rate lowered a month ago.

  Coming down my driveway from our other property, it looks like a full house tonight. One big family dinner. Ma must be celebrating Rhett being home for more than twenty-four hours.

  The air has that summertime barbeque smell. I had to skip lunch today to get everything finished. More than ever, I’m happy that Ma is a great cook and still loves cooking for all of her children. Some things are hard to grow out of, and eating her cooking is one of them.

  Shay comes out with her hands full of some type of casserole. One thing about family cookouts—it’s a banquet. Always too much food.

  “Need help with that?” I ask her, stepping out of my truck.

  “Nope, just remember I’m your favorite sister.” She walks away, leaving me curious about her choice of words.

  “Good thing you’re my only sister,” I call to her back, causing her to turn her head back to me while giving me a wink.

  Following her behind the house, I can already hear my family’s voices and laughter. I can’t help but think that Raya would have loved this. She would fit in so perfectly. It’s something I look forward to being able to do with her.

  My eyes see her right away, and it’s like the rest of the world fades away. She is all I can see, making my heart pick up speed, and I feel lighter from my day instantly. Hurrying to her, I take her in my arms and plant a big kiss on her lips.

  “Best surprise ever,” I whisper into her ear.

  “And here Shay thought you might get mad for sharing me.” She giggles.

  “Oh, you thought we were staying?” I tease her, making her laugh more.

  “Brax!” The tug at my leg brings my attention down to our son.

  Without thinking, I bend down, picking him up like I’ve done this my whole life. “Hey, baby goat.”

  He scrunches his nose up at the nickname. “I’m not a goat,” he tells me in all seriousness, like I have lost my mind.

  “You’re a kid, aren’t you? So are baby goats,” I try to explain my reasoning for the nickname.

  “He used to call me LS, which stood for little sister, and got everyone to call me that when I was younger,” Shay butts into our conversation before going back to organizing the food on the long table outside.

  “Okay, adult goat,” he tries to tease me back. “Are you happy we’re here?”

  “You have no idea, Madden.” I hold him tight, loving the way his small arms wrap around me, giving a hug back equally as hard. I love this kid. It’s amazing how it happens instantly, without any effort at all.

  Dinner goes off perfectly. Raya and I have stayed beside each other, while she naturally made her rounds, talking to everyone. Just as I thought she would, she fits in perfectly like she never disappeared.

  Madden and Connor already look thick as thieves. As the night progresses, Ma offers to take the boys in to watch a movie while us adults sit by the campfire. Raya sits between my legs, her hands hooked over my forearms as she leans into me.

  Rhett is strumming his guitar, making it seem like the days he used to live at home. Us kids would stay out here at the fire all hours of the night, while he would play and sing. His melody is soft, allowing conversation to happen. He seems to be in his own world right now.

  I remember how I used to feel when I was the fifth wheel to my siblings. He’s the only one without a significant other.

  “Cheers to the Brax curse being lifted.” Kellen holds up his beer while my other siblings hold theirs up in salute to an end of an era. It feels that way, with Raya b
etween my legs, while holding on to her.

  “To finally finding my cure.” I give Raya a kiss on her cheek, loving the way her skin grows rosy from the attention.

  Raya whispers into my ear, “Thank you for not thinking I’m part of the curse. It means a lot.”

  I hold her tighter. “You were never a curse.”

  “Cheers to the Steele slayers,” Sloan adds, making all of us laugh. Luke and Raya raise their drinks toward Sloan.

  *

  I watch as Kellen pulls Sloan on top of him to straddle his legs as he kisses her. It’s not long before Luke pulls Shay in, and then Brax is pulling me in to kiss the hell out of me.

  “Ah fuck,” Rhett calls out, and then his guitar stops and we can hear him stomping away. “You all better be done by the time I come back with more beer.”

  I allow myself to melt into Brax’s kisses. They start off soft and slow, almost leisurely, as his tongue swipes into my mouth.

  Everything about this night has been perfect. I was worried how the rest of the Steeles would accept me and Madden. They have been nothing but kind and loving, making me feel like this can be my home. I like having that feeling. The feeling that I—we—belong. I never really had that before. It feels nice, warming up bits of me that I never knew existed.

  “All right, Brax, we want to hear more about your cure here,” Sloan interrupts our kiss as Shay adds, “What the heck have you been doing the last five years, girl?”

  Slowly, we part. I would much rather stay in his embrace, but after everyone accepted me without any reason to, I feel like they deserve a few answers.

  “We’ve pretty much been going from small town to small town. I was able to get some money before the fire was set, to help us out at first. Well, enough to set us up with the basic needs. Then Nate would work as a handyman to earn us enough money to live on. The houses we lived in were rented cash up front. All the jobs were under the table, so there was no need to use our fake IDs. I didn’t work, as I was raising Madden and couldn’t get comfortable with the idea of leaving him with strangers. I was always scared I’d come back to Madden being taken away.