Bittersweet Moments

by Bowie, Emily

  “Let’s take him to Grandma. She’ll love the extra time.”

  I smile, liking that we seem to be on the same page with not leaving him here.

  *

  “Don’t let me look at that for three minutes,” Sloan tells me strictly as she paces the living room. “We decided that this was our last round of IVF. We can’t go through the stress of it all. We need a break. And that scares me,” she confides. She pauses slightly, turning in the other direction before continuing. “What if it’s a false negative—or worse, a false positive.” Her thumbnail must be completely gone by the amount she’s chewing on it. She walks from one end of the room to the other before coming up to me again. “You need to pee on this.” She hands me a pregnancy stick.

  “Nope. I have cramps, so no need for that.” Last time I took one of those tests, it turned my world upside down. It may be an irrational fear, but I associate those tests with uprooting my life.

  “Please. I need a control, to make sure mine is telling the truth.”

  She looks so damn sweet and sad I feel I have no other choice. This family has been so kind. It’s the least I can do to repay the favor.

  “Really? You’re making me do this?” I double check.

  “Yes.” The smile is back on her face. “Do not give me lip, girl,” she scolds, causing me to chuckle. She will do just fine being a parent.

  “Fine.” I roll my eyes, playing the part.

  I hope her test does come out positive. I couldn’t imagine the stress not being able to have kids would cause.

  Washing my hands, I place my test beside hers and walk out. She restarts her timer, and once it finishes, she races to the bathroom.

  “Which one is yours?” she asks.

  The tests are identical. To be honest, I never noticed where I put it. “It will be the negative one, so just take a peek.” I beam at her, hoping my positivity pays off.

  “I can’t. You do it.” My hand is about to reach out before I realize she needs to be the first one to see it. Should I film this, so Kellen can see her reaction? The thought races through me. I consider it, but if it’s not positive, I would hate for that to be recorded.

  “Count to three.”

  I do as I’m told. “One… two… three.” She holds the first one up and it’s positive. Her mouth gapes open, shocked by the result. I go to hug her, and she already has tears running down her face.

  “Wait, to be certain, we need the control. I can’t get my heart ahead of myself.”

  I can tell needing to look at the other test is killing her. My heart for a split second goes into my throat, making me realize I wish I could be pregnant with Brax’s child. I would love to give him that. My hand goes to hold it up, ready to get her face on camera this time.

  We both see it’s negative. “See? That one is mine,” I point out. The excitement growing in her is evident.

  “I need to do another test.” She excitedly jumps up, grabbing a test before shooing me out.

  “Holy shit, I could be pregnant!” Sloan hollers through the door.

  CHAPTER 42

  My two choices seem straightforward. Choose Raya, get the girl of my dreams, but lose everything, including the family land my father trusted me to take care of. Or choose money, become richer than richer, keep all of our lands, but lose Raya. I don’t have to think about my answer. I will always choose Raya. Family always comes before everything else.

  My choices circulate in my head again, trying to come up with a loophole. I don’t care about the money, but I do care about the family land. I’m not sure I can look my father in the eye and tell him the truth. I’m not sure he could survive the truth in his health condition.

  “I’ll make your choice for you if you can’t,” Joseph speaks up, looking amused.

  Slowly, I think I have come up with a compromise. “Let me sell my herd, and you can have all of it, including the minerals, but not our land.” That money would secure me enough if he went back on his word and had the banks call all my loans in. I could still manage.

  “That sounds like you’re being greedy to me. You give up nothing that’s important to you then.”

  This has nothing to do with business. He doesn’t care about the money. He cares about controlling Raya, even if that means controlling me, to hurt her in the process.

  “And here I thought you were a businessman. I thought personal vendettas were below you,” I try to manipulate him.

  “Don’t be selfish, boy. You are sitting at the pinnacle of your career. Sign my deal and you’ve made it. No one will ever look down their nose at you. You can have your pick of any girl. I made that happen for you. When you thought you lost it all, I gave you hope. I gave you another reason to live. It was me.” He talks passionately, with his thumb pointing to himself.

  By the way he says it, you would think he’s been helping me along out of the goodness of his heart and I should be grateful to him. If I had known he was behind it all, I would’ve never gone down this path. My thoughts must run free on my face, because he continues his speech.

  “When you’re my age, with my bank account, it’s only about personal vendettas. I wouldn’t have the power I have if I wasn’t ruthless. Choose, boy,” he commands as Nate walks back into the room.

  “You make it easy.” Looking back and forth between both men, I tell them my decision. “I choose Raya. Do what you want to the land.”

  Joseph stays silent while Nate shakes his head, muttering to himself, “Remember, you chose this, Brax. I gave you more than enough warning.”

  “As you said, I will do what I want with my land.” Joseph looks to Al and George, who have stayed almost invisible during this interaction. “Burn the houses down. Make sure Raya’s real dead body is found in there. She chose her fate already.”

  That snaps both Nate and my heads up. “What the fuck? I thought we had a deal!” I shout, my heart leaping out of my chest.

  I hear either George or Al talking on the phone in what must be the order to be carried out.

  “I told you, you can do what you want with her body. I never said you would get Raya alive. If you’re lucky, I might let your bastard live.”

  I can hear Nate’s angry voice. “You promised me Raya would be safe.”

  “You promised me Raya would marry within three years. Why the hell have I been planting my men around for her to fall in love with, but all she ever did was ignore them?”

  I hear a barely audible noise behind me and turn to fight off Al, who tried to get a jump on me. I see George pick up a bat, coming to his partner’s aid. They will have to kill me to get me to stop.

  I hear Nate arguing with Joseph, but I’m too distracted to hear it all out. I feel the hit to the head before I see it, and then a gunshot goes off. I feel my body hitting the ground. I try to force myself to get onto my hands and knees, but my limbs won’t listen to me.

  Then it’s silent and black.

  CHAPTER 43

  “I’m pregnant.”

  I force a small smile as I watch Sloan marvel in the news. I am so happy for them and don’t know why I feel a pang of jealousy. I would love to have Brax and my children grow up with the rest of the Steeles. Madden has Connor around his age. It would be nice if our next one had that too.

  Sloan’s and my phones both buzz, and we see a text message from Helen. She’s taking the boys to their other property to show them the animals and get some ice cream.

  “I almost feel like this isn’t true and I will wake up at any moment,” Sloan tells me, holding up her second and third positive pregnancy tests.

  “How many boxes did you buy?”

  Brax’s door slams open, and I expect to see Madden running in to tell me he’s heading out. Instead, in walks my father’s henchman. His number one guy I recognize from years ago. His expensive suit is deceiving. I know he enjoys hurting others. I’ve witnessed it a few times in my life. He is a born killer. I straighten up, standing tall, knowing I have officially been found.


  “Raya, we meet again,” he greets us. “Looks like today is your day.”

  My heart stops in my chest. I can smell wood burning. “I take it my father liked my original idea. He never was very creative with his own.”

  I can see Sloan taking a small step backward.

  “Where is your bastard?” He looks at me then straight at Sloan, making her freeze in her spot.

  “Sleeping,” I lie. “I think this will be better for everyone if we leave him where he is.”

  “Who’s she?” he asks, nodding his head in her direction.

  “Brax’s brother’s wife.”

  “You should have picked your friends better.” He chuckles as he speaks to Sloan. Bringing his attention back to me, he commands, “Go get yourselves a chair.”

  “I thought you were always the gentleman,” I tease him. The longer I make him work for this, the longer Madden and the rest of Brax’s family will have to get away from here. I know my father’s men. They like a bit of a challenge.

  “We both know that is the one thing I have never been. Pity your father loves you so much.” He gives me a gleaming grin as he looks me over.

  The smell of smoke becomes stronger in the house. “What’s for lunch?” I ask.

  “You.” He gives me a wink that has my stomach dropping.

  “And here I thought we were having a BBQ.” I smile sweetly at him.

  I can hear Sloan mumble under her breath, worried about what I’m doing.

  “Oh, we are.” He looks to Sloan then to me. “She thinks you’re stupid.”

  He passes Sloan some rope. Tie her up. When I check it, if you did a shitty job, I’ll shoot you right now. I’m a nice guy like that.”

  “Make sure it’s tight,” I quietly tell her as her hands tremble.

  The rope pinches into my skin, and the smoke smell is becoming overwhelming. “Not as confident as before,” my father’s man comments.

  “What your friend realizes and you haven’t is that we’re burning this house from the outside in.” He brings his hands up, as if to take in the glory of his words.

  “Now, on the count of three, I want you both to tell me where Madden is. If you both don’t say the right answer, I shoot her.” He points his gun to Sloan.

  Taking his time, he counts to three. I close my eyes, praying we say the same answer.

  “In the spare room.”

  “In that room.” I open my eyes to see Sloan pointing to the guest room.

  “Stand in front of the door.” His gun moves from Sloan to the closed bedroom door.

  She doesn’t tremble as she walks. This girl is the bravest I have ever met. Her hands get taped to the door, and then gasoline is poured at the door edge.

  “The safest thing would be to keep this door closed,” he warns her.

  I vow if we get out of this I will make it up to her. “I’m not scared to die,” she tells him so calmly I almost believe her. But everyone is scared to die. Especially a mother.

  CHAPTER 44

  I wake to a stinging sensation on my cheek. My hand goes to it, and it feels hot. My eyes start to open, images fuzzy as I try to focus. Another slap to the other side of my face has my eyes opening fully to see Nate’s grumpy scowl in mine.

  “Get up, asshole.” He kicks my leg as he stands over me. Looking around, I see three dead men with pools of blood around them all.

  “You going to kill me then take Raya?” I move my jaw with my hand, feeling to see if it’s okay.

  “Don’t be an idiot. I saved your life. Now I need your help to save the rest of your family.” He begins pulling me toward my truck.

  I’m still confused and can’t seem to think as fast as I would like. “Why?”

  “I’ve told you, asshole. I’m here to protect Raya against whoever decides to bring her harm.”

  He pushes me into the truck, and I stumble, wishing I could focus better. “Don’t you work for Raya’s dad?”

  He grunts, “No. I’ve always worked for her mother. Now, do I need to kill you too?”

  “We’re good.” My truck barrels down the road. Each mile, I’m coming back to the land of the living, starting to think more clearly. “Isn’t your boss going to be pissed you killed her husband?”

  Nate huffs out, annoyed with me. I still don’t trust him. He seems to be playing on too many sides here.

  We’re only about a mile out when we can start to see the black smoke billowing in the sky. It’s a dark contrast to the blue sky it cuts in half.

  “Trust me, no one will be sad he’s dead.”

  Coming up to our ranch, the smoke is thick, the smell detectable immediately. Our family home is on fire, flames breathing out the windows.

  It’s not long before I can see the second smokestack coming from where my house is. “How do we know where they are?” I ask. My heart is at a tug of war on what house to choose.

  “I’ll look in this house, and you go to the other one.”

  I nod, my instincts taking over, having no option but to trust Nate. As he jumps out of the truck, I slide into the driver’s seat in one fluid motion, the truck never stopping before I take off. The smoke is thicker as I drive before I see a ring of fire surrounding my house. Its flames are already on the porch, making it a thick wall that looks to be impossible to pass through.

  Running over to our rain barrel, I tip it over, soaking myself until its light enough for me to carry. Lifting it high, I toss it into the flames and follow it through. I can feel the flames licking my skin instantaneously, but I don’t catch on fire. Stepping over the flames, I kick down the door to see Raya and Sloan wide-eyed and frightened as they wiggle to free themselves.

  The thick black smoke is hard to see through. It’s impossible to see the other side of the house. Looking out a nearby window, a yellow-gray stream of light pours in with heat that feels even more suffocating than the smoke. It doesn’t take long before the flames jump near the front door, that I have left open.

  My hands work steadier than I feel as I untie Raya. “Are you okay?”

  I check her over, my hands roaming her body quickly. She nods, crying. “Where is Madden?”

  I look around the room to see no sign of him. It scares me and relieves me at the same time.

  “I don’t know,” she sobs, frightening me. “With your mom somewhere. We told my dad’s men he was sleeping in that room.” She points to where she rushes to try to save Sloan.

  We’re all crouching away from the smoke as I begin to crawl toward a window. I take my shirt off, wrapping my hand in it before I punch the glass. The flames look too close.

  At times like this, I wish I had an upstairs. Scrubbing my hand down my face, my eyes water as my lungs contract. The front door is no longer an option to go through. It’s fully engulfed. My arm hairs feel all singed off from me jumping through it. I’m lucky I’m not on fire right now.

  Getting back on my hands and knees, I crawl toward them.

  It takes a bit of effort, but I manage to get Sloan’s hands-free from the warming door handle.

  “We have to try to attic,” I tell them. There’s a small window up there I think we all can fit through.

  Getting up, I hold my breath as I walk through the lowering smoke till I reach the small string that moves the attic door down, a ladder coming with it.

  I may be leading us all to a death trap with the number of cardboard boxes and other junk I have stored up there for when I might’ve needed it again.

  I go first to make sure everything is secure before the girls follow me up. The air is dense, and the room is almost black, making it hard to see.

  “Watch your step.” I nod to the wood beams, not sure if they can see me or not. My lungs burn, unable to get enough oxygen. Coming to the window, I wrap my shirt around my hand again and punch the window out. Going to the girls, I lead them to the opening. First Sloan then Raya head out onto the roof before I wiggle my way out. I can feel small shards of glass cut into me as my skin scrapes past the window fr
ame. My body hardly makes it. Raya and Sloan both pull my arms, helping me get the rest of the way out. I gasp at the air that has more oxygen.

  The flames circle us as we begin to hear parts of the house caving to its power.

  “We need to jump,” Sloan yells above the roar of the fire. We all look around to see no other option. The house is fully surrounded by a ring of fire.

  “Is that smoke from your parent’s house?” Raya asks, visibly shaking. “Madden!” she screams.

  “What if they’re in there and never had a chance to leave?” She turns to me, looking horrified.

  “Nate went in there to check.” I try to calm her down.

  “Why is Nate here?” she asks, her mind obviously swirling. I think she knows deep down he could be part of this.

  Ignoring her question, I grab both women and start my countdown. “Three… two….”

  I push them both off first before I hit one. With the house being one floor, it’s not that far down. I watch them land just past the flames before I jump too.

  CHAPTER 45

  Hitting the ground makes my ankle scream with a sharp twist. I’m sure I have broken it this time with it already weak from when I fell earlier this month.

  “Are you okay?” I ask Sloan, knowing she landed to protect her stomach. Her dirty face nods at me, her hair falling out of her ponytail. I can only imagine I must look the same.

  I watch Brax take a leap, looking smooth and like a pro as he jumps much farther than us. He lands low on his feet but doesn’t fall over.

  All I can think about is finding Madden. I call out his name once again. Hobbling with all my strength, I go to the main house, seeing the flames pulling it under, the roof has started to cave in while windows begin to burst. What if they never left in time? What if they’re still in the family home?

  I’m about to run in there, needing to save our son, when a hand pulls me back. “Let go!” I yell at Brax.