Bittersweet Moments

by Bowie, Emily

  “I can’t, baby.”

  I can see it pains him to tell me this. I cry harder, scared for our little boy, not knowing if he’s safe or not. As a larger section of the house caves in, movement catches my eye. I perk up, taking the small step I’m allowed to go. Like in the movies, I see Nate stumble out of the house, his whole body midnight black from the ashes. My legs buckle under me when I see he’s empty-handed.

  Sirens sound in the distance while tires spit out gravel down the driveway. Kellen jumps out of the truck, swearing like a mad man. I watch as Sloan and him embrace, his lips kissing her all over her face. Looking back at the house, Brax is helping Nate move toward us.

  “Everyone is at our house safe,” Kellen calls out, making me cry harder as relief surges through me.

  Before long, both Nate and Brax are by my side. Both of their hands are on my opposite shoulders.

  Turning to Nate, I’m forced to ask something I never thought I had to. “Nate, are you still one of his men?”

  “I was never one of his men. I’ve always been yours.” He sighs as he dips his head. “But I’ve been on your mother’s payroll this whole time. Your father found us less than seventy-two hours after our faked deaths. But by then, he began to see the positives of you not being in the picture. He was the one who told me to find you a suitable husband, in case you ever came back. He couldn’t live with the fact you had a child out of wedlock. Apparently, he’s had Brax watched this whole time. Soon as you entered each other’s life again, he couldn’t stand the thought of you getting away with what you did. So he tried to hurt you through him.”

  He shakes his head and continues. “I was always here in your best interest. I made it so that the last five years was what you wanted. If I could’ve made it so you have everything including Brax, I would have done it earlier. But I knew it could never be. Your father would make sure of it.”

  Looking back, I can see it so clearly now. Him not fighting to keep up with our fake IDs, the day trips he would disappear on, his relaxed nature to us ever being found. It’s all adding up now.

  “Why did you push me to go to that concert?” I ask, not understanding if he knew what the consequences could be.

  “Honestly, I never thought he’d be there. And I hated seeing you unhappy. Each year that passed, I could see the toll it took on you from just not being with him. I wanted to see you happy. I thought I could control the situation enough to see you smile genuinely for one night.”

  “Did you really have boyfriends you went to see?” I ask, referring to his disappearances he occasionally made. Deep down, I already know where he was.

  “No. It was all so your father would think he had you under his thumb.”

  Nate has been in the middle of me and my parents, always protecting me. He gave up everything to make sure I was safe. “I’m sorry.” I say, hating that I dragged him into this mess with me.

  Slowly, he looks me in the eye. “You would have never survived if we stayed.”

  “Family forever,” I look up at him over my lashes, with a tight smile.

  “Through thick and thin.” He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles.

  *

  I watch as Nate kisses her hand while I sit on the other side of her. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. I want to interrupt; he doesn’t deserve to tell his story, but the look in her eyes has me stopping. I will always do right by her, even if it means I lose in the end.

  My fingers move, wanting to beat Nate’s ass, and the only reason I haven’t is because I would have never made it here without him.

  The fire trucks sirens ring down our driveway, making everyone scatter away. I can’t look her in the eye. I feel incredibly guilty about this. Nate has protected her far better than I have, and that thought destroys me.

  Water is splashed onto the main house, but it can’t be saved. Half of it is already fallen in, all of it black.

  No one bothers to mention my house right away. It’s not important. It can be rebuilt. But our family home has memories that can never be replaced.

  I feel Raya’s arms go around my waist as we all stare at the firefighters doing their best to tame the powerful flames. I can feel myself withdrawing, going into myself. I wish I knew how to make this right.

  Her soft hand cups my chin and I look down at her. “Stop beating yourself up,” she firmly commands.

  I can feel my brows pinch together before her fingers come up and try to smooth the wrinkles out. “Come on, let me take you to our son.”

  “Take our truck.” Kellen tosses his keys at me. “I’ll bring yours down and give everyone an update once this is all done.”

  Nodding my head, I silently thank him, before I lead Raya toward Kellen’s truck, the only vehicle not fully blocked in by the fire trucks.

  The cab of the truck is silent for a mile till Raya’s words cut through it. “Pull over,” she demands as she turns in her seat, already unbuckling herself.

  She looks around before her eyes lock on me. “I love you, Brax Steele,” she begins. “Don’t you dare leave me.”

  She moves her body closer to me, bringing our lips almost together. We hover there, looking into each other’s eyes before I snap. My hands grip her hips, pulling her over the middle till she is straddling me. My hands pull the side lever, pushing my seat farther back. My hands round her ass, moving her just above my hardened cock before I squeeze her soft flesh.

  Her hips grind down on me, making me growl as I push our lips together. I slide my tongue into her mouth, taking what is mine. My hand slips under her shirt, pulling down the cup of her bra before I twist and pinch her greedy nipples that stand straight out, begging for my touch.

  She pulls back, our chests heaving. “Unbutton my pants,” I command.

  Her fingers make quick work, freeing me from my pants. My hands roam her thighs, watching her eyes flicker when I get to the sensitive skin. My fingers run up and down the thin fabric under her sundress before I move it aside. It tells me everything I need to know. She wants this.

  My head spins with her honest words, and the guilt that laces through them. She must see my apprehension as she takes control. She lines herself up and pushes down on me.

  I can’t stop the hiss that comes through my teeth. She feels so damn good. Tugging at her hair, I move it to kiss her neck, not caring how dirty we both are. Her head moves to allow me better access as she grinds herself down on me, setting the rhythm. Her eyes are closed, her mouth parted with her moans.

  My fingers slide her straps down her arms before I push her strapless bra down, exposing her to me. She is a sight to behold right now. Her tan lines above her chest dip in between her tits slightly. It makes them stand out from the rest of her tanned body.

  My hands cup her tits, moving with each of their bounces. I need a taste. Bending down, I put one in my mouth, causing her to arch against me, making my cock go deeper than before.

  “Brax.” My name comes softly from her sweet voice, her hands gripping my shoulders stronger as she uses me to help push her body up and down. Taking my time, I give her other breast some loving, adding presser as I flatten the sensitive nub with my tongue.

  I can feel she’s close. Her pussy begins to flutter around me, gripping me like only she can.

  Grabbing hold of her hair with one hand, I wrap it around my fist while my other hand goes to squeeze her ass, helping her move with each grind she makes.

  I command her body like she likes, taking all control. Watching her submit to each of my moves has always made me harder than fuck. I push her down roughly, my thumb going to her clit. Two light taps has her screaming out my name at the same time as I come inside her. I keep her down, letting her pussy pulse and pull everything I have out of me. My dick feels like she’s clamping onto it for dear life.

  Giving us no time to recover, I slam my lips onto her, stealing a breathless kiss to seal everything I’m feeling right now.

  Only when I allow it, we break apart. Her smooth body
lies on me, unwilling to move, her head against the drum of my heart.

  “Together, we are unstoppable,” she says into my chest. I certainly hope we are.

  CHAPTER 46

  Seeing my dad walk out and hug me forces me to take a breath as I begin to get choked up. We almost lost all of this. My ma is right behind him, peppering Raya then me with kisses, not caring that we’re adults.

  When I look back at Raya, Madden is in her arms as she hugs him close. I go to them, creating one big family hug as I join in.

  “There was a huge fire!” Madden explains to us all animated, his eyes wide.

  “Why don’t you two come in and get cleaned up?” Ma ushers us into Sloan and Kellen’s house.

  I wait for my ma and dad to start asking questions, but they don’t. Even after we are both showered, hot tea is sitting in front of us, and the excitement has started to die down slightly. The avoidance of it all is killing me.

  “Do you think the house will be able to be saved?” Raya questions, the only one brave enough to ask.

  I shake my head. Half of it was already falling in when we left.

  Dad pats my shoulders, while Ma interjects, “We will figure it out. The Steele family always comes together when we need to.”

  “We don’t have homes!” I call out, my voice rising. I hate the way Raya flinches at my sudden outburst. “Where are we going to stay?” The positivity is killing me. I know the reality of it all. I lost our family everything. We all can’t stay at Kellen’s. There is no room for that.

  “Madden and you should head back home to start to figure things out till we have a place here.” My voice is quiet.

  Her head twists toward me, her fingers playing with the hem of her new shirt.

  My parents quietly step out, allowing us our own space.

  “How do we know it’s even safe?” she asks, looking worried.

  “Because I know.” My hand touches her hand. “Nate killed your dad.” It’s been on my mind, and the idea of her not knowing was killing me.

  She sighs. “I’m finally safe.” Her eyes tear up, but none are shed. “I need to pack up our house, so we can come back to you.” A small smile graces her pink lips.

  “There is nothing to come back to.” Why is no one understanding this?

  “I believe in you.” She kisses my lips. I wish I believed I could control this.

  *

  Watching Raya and Madden, I fear that as soon as she walks out the door, she will realize I was never good enough for her. I worked hard to become someone who people looked up to, but now it feels like it’s been ripped away from me. I don’t know who I am without it.

  I watch Raya pack up her car, telling me she’ll only be gone long enough to get her stuff sorted. What if she decides not to come back and disappears from me again?

  I couldn’t handle it. I now realize why I didn’t tell her that I loved her back in the truck. I couldn’t promise my heart we would be together after this.

  CHAPTER 47

  How did I get myself into such a mess? My hand runs through my unkempt hair, my hat long forgotten. In a matter of twenty-four hours, I went from feeling like the man who finally had everything he wanted, to nothing.

  I’m lost. There is no handbook telling me what to do. My pride has been beaten so badly I no longer recognize myself. My ego is no longer in existence. I refuse to leave this shitty motel room. A room I can’t even pay for myself. What hurts more is that no one is yelling at me. No one is giving me lectures.

  My father should be yelling at me for losing the ranch. Lecturing me about not stretching myself too thin, not becoming too cash poor that if anything goes wrong you can’t recover.

  Kellen should be yelling at me for losing the land where his business is and placing his animals at risk.

  Raya has been calling me since she got on the highway. Each time, I press Ignore. I’m an asshole like that.

  I can only imagine what the town is saying—the Brax curse has hit again. Look at what it’s done to him this time. Each time, my consequences become worse and worse. Where is the limit?

  Joseph Stratton wasn’t kidding. All of my bank loans have been called in, giving me forty-eight hours to repay the money. I don’t even have a piggy bank to rob to try to get some money. Hell, I don’t even have a dollar for the vending machine.

  Our homes are ruined black piles of soot. My parents are forced to go live with Shay and her family until I figure something out. My dad has already talked about coming out of retirement again. He talks like he’s happy to be doing something. He has never once uttered the words that he is disappointed, and he should. I fucked up.

  Because Rhett has been so generous, I have been staying in a hotel with him. Raya had nowhere to go but back to her house with Madden, forced to pack it up, as she never owned it.

  Joseph was bankrupted, his own properties being closed in on by the banks. He had been faking his wealth—everything was mortgaged or leased. His credit cards were maxed out causing him to use loan sharks to pay off the interest to keep him a float. The fire that Raya created gave him insurance money to get by with. Otherwise, he would have never been able to pay off the people he owed money to. It was because of his fear factor debtors gave him extensions in the first place.

  Closing my eyes, I can feel my head pounding from the amount of stress I’m under.

  “Need a drink?” Rhett asks me. He’s stayed by my side the whole time, hiding out with me. I like to think it’s because of his brotherly loyalty. He could be on my suicide watch too. I would never do that, but I can see how the thought crosses people’s minds. I have life insurance that could help my parents out, help Raya out. But that’s the easy way out. We Steeles never take the easy way; unfortunately, we are all too stubborn and pig-headed.

  I can’t believe I’m about to ask Rhett for more help to bail me out. The thought kills me that I need someone else to clean up my mess because I am incapable of it. “Are you able to bail me out and loan me some money?” My words come out and they taste like acid on my tongue. He’s silent beside me and I hate it. The couch moves and he’s stood up from sitting down. “I would never ask if there was any other option.”

  “You’re in trouble if I’m your last option,” he finally says. “How much?”

  I hear a beer can open before I answer. I give him some time to drink it down.

  “A few million.” My stomach drops as I hear him start to choke on his beer. “But if we sold the land I acquired and the herd, we would make most of it back, leaving us with the family land with a small mortgage. I can pay you back month to month.”

  “I need to level with you.”

  Bringing my feet onto the couch, I move to lie down on it. Maybe if I sleep long enough, all this will go away.

  “I’m broke. I sold everything in the city to pay off all my creditors. I have a little in the bank, but nothing resembling what you’re asking for,” he confesses.

  “Our minerals on our land can pay you back triple,” I mutter to myself.

  “Stop being stupid, Brax. If there were real oil on our land, the bank would snatch it up and not allow it to go to auction. You have been conned for this precise outcome. Everything was always about manipulating Raya and getting her back when he wanted, on his terms. There is no oil. That was never an option. You were a pawn in his game. That is all it ever was.”

  “Everything is going to the auction. This town is going to feast on what is being served on a golden platter for them,” I mutter to myself, hating how easily I was tricked. I wanted it so badly. I thought I could feel the success at my fingertips, but really never had it. Maybe that’s why my family never took a huge interest in what I was doing. Maybe deep down they could see it but wanted to believe I knew better.

  “Will you come to the auction with me? I need to know where everything is going.” It’s going to hurt like a son of a bitch, but I feel I need to see everything through a hundred percent. It’s my fuck up, and I need to live it, ow
n it, like the man I was brought up to be.

  “Yeah, man, I’ll be there for you. We all want to be there for you; you just need to let us.”

  I have to laugh at his choice of words. I’m pretty sure I used similar ones on Raya not that long ago. How the tables have turned.

  There is a knock on the door, and Kellen’s voice booms, “Brax, open the door. It’s me.” Rhett goes to open the door, even when I shake my head not to. “Hey, boys,” Kellen greets the two of us. “Brax we need to talk.”

  I stand, knowing what’s about to happen. Rhett chooses that moment to slip out the door. “I’ll help you get everything back.” My hand rubs the back of my neck not sure on how the hell I plan on doing it. “I promise that’s my top priority along with getting the family land back.”

  “You don’t get it, do you?” My brother walks fully in, closing the door as he looks around the small room. “In this family, we help each other out no matter what. You have blamed me for your issues since the night I took the fall for Shay. Then you finally opened yourself up to Raya, and because of me, she got scared off. I know it hasn’t been fair to you. I was left watching you fall to pieces and couldn’t do a thing about it. I want to help you, help make this better, help our relationship. I want my brother back.”

  He sighs then continues. “It sucks about the business and the land, but everyone lived. That is what matters. I don’t hold it against you, because in a way, I believe I deserve some type of recoil from you. If this is it, I am happy to take my beating for it. Sloan is finally pregnant, and I want our family to be whole again. Together, we can rebuild. If it’s not on our family land, we make new family land, because that’s what us Steeles do.”

  “It’s impossible to forgive like that.”

  “Not when I think I deserve it. Let’s chalk this up to payback.”

  I stand there trying to grasp everything he’s saying. Can it really be that easy?

  “Honestly, Brax. It’s all materialistic things you’re talking about. That’s not what dad taught us to value. It’s not who I am.”