Everything You Want

by Like, Macyn

  My mind flashed back to the fired teller. Greta. But it wasn’t her. I knew it wasn’t, because I’d seen her out there today. Who was missing?

  My eyes widened and I had to bite back a gasp. Teena! It was Teena. And Brian was the loan officer. Oh, wow. I wondered what they’d been caught doing. I knew Greta would know, but I’d be surprised if she ever spoke to me again.

  From the look in her eyes, I could see Antonia knew I’d figured it out. “So the position is available immediately. I’ve made it no secret that I like you, Marissa. You’re smart, good with customers, you meet all of the qualifications, and I think you’ll do a good job at whatever position you’re in. So are you interested?”

  I nodded. “Yes, of course.”

  “Okay, that’s all I needed to know. I’ll get some paperwork ready. Come talk to me after lunch and we’ll get you set up in your new office. I’ll talk to our other loan officer about a little on-the-job training.”

  “You want me to start today?”

  “I want you to start getting settled today. You won’t have to deal with any customers just yet, but soon.”

  “What about accounts? Kori won’t be back for weeks.”

  “Camden can handle it, and if it gets to where he can’t, I’ll put Greta or one of the other tellers out there. I need you in loans, now.”

  “Okay.”

  “Great,” Antonia said. “See you in a bit.” She grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair. “I’m getting out of here. I’ve got to meet someone for lunch.”

  We walked out of her office together and back to the front. She walked out the front doors as I made my way back to my desk. I paused halfway, and looked back. Greta was standing up at the counter, alone. There were no customers around, so I turned and rounded the counter.

  Greta looked at me cautiously as I approached.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Hey,” she said back, flatly.

  “Greta, I’m sorry,” I began. “I had no right to say those things to you. I wasn’t even upset with you. You didn’t deserve that.”

  “No, it’s okay. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.” She looked down at her feet. “So, I took your advice.”

  “What advice?”

  “I took the ring off.” She held up her empty ring finger.

  “Oh, Greta. So, it’s over?”

  “Yeah, well. I’m kind of in love with Camden, you know.”

  “Seriously?” I shook my head. “I thought you hated him.”

  She waved a hand. “Yeah, I do. It’s a love/hate kind of thing.”

  I gave a little laugh. “I see.”

  She nodded towards my desk. “So those are some pretty nice flowers on your desk.”

  “Yes, they are. But they’re groveling flowers. The worst kind.”

  “Huh? Are they from Kieran?”

  “Yeah. I walked up on him kissing this other girl.”

  “Oh.” She frowned. “Did you break up with him?”

  “Sort of. I haven’t talked to him. I ran off, and then I ran into you and yelled at you instead of him. Again, sorry about that.”

  “It’s cool, don’t worry about it. So don’t you think you should confront him?”

  “I can’t. I’m weak. I still love him. I’ll forget all about the other girl and he’ll have me right back where he wants me in a second.”

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  I stared at her blankly. “Yes.”

  She shrugged. “It looks like he’s sorry.”

  “So?”

  “You think he’s serious about the other girl?”

  “Well, yeah. I mean, she’d hinted at it before. I just didn’t listen.”

  “Yeah, but he sent flowers for you.”

  “I’m not saying he doesn’t want me, but I prefer my boyfriend to be dating only me.”

  “Are you sure he hasn’t broke it off with her?”

  “No, but even if he has, so what? He was with another girl. I won’t deal with that.”

  “Okay. I still think you should talk to him. Those flowers are really nice.”

  “I can’t. I…” I trailed off. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

  “Okay.” Greta gave me a sad smile as she squeezed my shoulder.

  “So, I was just offered a promotion,” I said.

  “Oh, yeah?” Greta perked up. “What position?”

  “Loan officer.”

  “What? But we don’t have any openings, do we?”

  I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head towards Teena’s usual station.

  Greta clapped a hand over her mouth. “No!” She gasped. “Brian got canned?”

  I nodded. “Teena, too.”

  “Oh, wow. I figured Teena was just faking sick. What happened?”

  “I was hoping you’d know.”

  “No! Stupid Camden’s distracting me too much. I’m missing out on all the office gossip.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, that’ll do it. Hey, you want to go to lunch?” I asked.

  Greta smiled. “Sure.”

  Chapter 34

  Kieran

  A week had gone by. I waited by the stairs for her everyday and she still wouldn’t talk to me. She just walked right past me into her apartment without a word. After she slammed her door, I walked back into my apartment, fell down on the couch. It had become routine. I’d lay on the couch until I could force myself to grade a few papers, drink a little coffee, maybe eat something, shower, and then fall into bed. Then I’d knock on the wall three times, but she never responded. I wasn’t giving up, though, and I wanted her to know that.

  There had to be something I could do, but it was a little hard to explain yourself to someone who wouldn’t talk to you. I wrote her a letter, but she wouldn’t take it. It had sat outside her apartment, wedged under her welcome mat for five days.

  I’m sure it looked bad when she walked up on Alisha kissing me, but she had to know I’d never do that to her, or Shannon, for that matter. It occurred to me that Alisha had said something to her that night we all went out together to make her think that we had been together for awhile. I’d seen them talking in that booth in the coffeehouse while the rest of us were ordering. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but I’d had a lot of time to think since then. I would call Alisha and ask her what she said, but that would mean talking to Alisha and that was not something I was willing to do. Though she’d tried to talk to me. I had about forty missed calls from her over the past week. I didn’t know when she was finally going to get the picture that I wasn’t going to pick up, ever. I was freezing her out.

  Just like Marissa was doing to me.

  I couldn’t listen to my iPod anymore. The music didn’t make me feel better like I thought it would. It made me sick to my stomach. When I told Kiera what had happened, she drove up the next day with a giant vat of Mom’s chicken salad, which I had been eating straight from the Tupperware with a spoon. I didn’t want to see anyone, but I’d gone over to Shannon’s a few times because I knew he was miserable, too. I couldn’t sleep, but that may have been because of the massive amounts of coffee I’d been drinking. I listened for her, but it was like she was trying not to make a sound. So when I finished my work, I just laid there, on my couch. I kept the TV on, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Without her, everything hurt.

  I knew it could end badly and I’d pursued her anyway. I knew I could end up like this, a lifeless blob on the couch, eating my mom’s chicken salad, and I had done it anyway. This time it was different, though. It wasn’t like with Becca, where I regretted ever asking her out, ever being with her. This time I wasn’t sorry. I just had to get Marissa back, and if I couldn’t, well, I still wasn’t sorry.

  After I finished grading papers I leaned back into the couch and sighed. Never in my career had I wished I had more papers to grade, but it was the only thing I could focus on. I glanced at the TV, which was on mute. There was a sitcom on, one that I liked. I tried to watch it for a few minu
tes, but then I heard the dog bark in the next apartment and my concentration was shot. It was about time to take a shower, I supposed.

  I peeled myself off the couch and started for the bathroom. I flipped on the lights and glanced in the mirror as I walked by. Wow, I looked awful. I leaned closer and studied my reflection. I looked pale, even more so than usual, had dark, bluish circles under my eyes, which looked almost lifeless. I looked like a guy who had given up on everything. No man, just…no.

  That was it. I could feel myself sinking and it was time to stop. I needed to be proactive, although I didn’t know how much more proactive I could be without stalking her. But there had to be something, some way to get her to listen to me, to let her know how much I loved her and how I wasn’t backing down.

  I had no other choice. I called Ollie.

  Half an hour later we were zooming down the road into a bad part of town.

  “We’re going to have to be careful. This is a little closer to the police station than I like to get.”

  “The police station?”

  “Yeah, don’t worry about it, though. This place is perfect. She’ll definitely see this on her way to work. No way she could miss it.”

  “Shouldn’t we wait until later to do this? It’s only nine o’clock.”

  “Nah. It’s dark, isn’t it? Besides, there’s not a lot of traffic through here this time of night. If we see any headlights, we’ll have time to run.”

  “Comforting,” I said as he pulled his car into the alley beside the old decrepit building we were about to tag. It was on the way to Marissa’s bank, technically, but I doubted this was a street she’d take. It was the shortest route, but not the safest. It was my only option, though. It’s not like I could go spray paint a giant heart on the bank, or anywhere near it. This neighborhood was dark, and as Ollie had said, pretty much abandoned. I could only hope she was feeling a little daring on her way to work the next morning, or running late, maybe. Then she’d pass it for sure.

  I looked at the side of the building, and immediately felt stupid. I shouldn’t have called Ollie, but I was driving myself crazy sitting in that apartment. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to do something. I had to take action, even if it was something as dumb as painting her name on the front of an old falling-in building that she might never see. It would at least make me feel better for a second.

  “This shouldn’t take long,” Ollie said as we climbed out of the car.

  Chapter 35

  Marissa

  I heard the soft knock on my door and groaned. He needed to just give up. The knock sounded again and my lips pressed into a thin line as I tried to ignore it, tried to focus on the Us Weekly in front of me.

  Three more knocks.

  “Go away!” I said loudly, not bothering to mask my annoyance.

  Knock, knock.

  “Go away!!” I stood up and threw my magazine across the room.

  Knock, knock.

  “What?!” I flung the door open. “I have nothing to say to—” I stopped short when I realized it wasn’t Kieran standing in my doorway. It was Shannon. “Oh, hi. Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Can we talk?” he asked.

  If it was any of Kieran’s other friends, I would have said no, but since it was Shannon’s fiancée I caught Kieran kissing, I moved out of the way to let him in.

  “I take it you know why I’m not speaking to Kieran,” I said.

  “I do,” he said, stepping into the living room.

  “When did you find out?” I asked, torn between not wanting to have this conversation and wanting to comfort him because I knew he was probably as miserable as me.

  “Right after you did.”

  “How?”

  “Kieran called me.”

  I frowned. “That was bold.”

  Shannon shrugged. “It was the right thing to do.”

  “How long had it been going on?” I asked, not sure that I wanted to know.

  “A while.”

  I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Did you have any idea?”

  “I suspected, but I didn’t want to believe it until Kieran told me.”

  “Is it over with you and Alisha?”

  “Yes. But it doesn’t have to be over between you and Kieran. That’s what I came here to say.”

  “What?”

  “Kieran didn’t do anything wrong. You need to talk to him.”

  “Shannon, I saw them. I saw him.”

  “No, what you saw was my fiancée throwing herself at him.”

  “Well, he wasn’t doing a very good job fighting her off.”

  “He was so shocked it took him a second to figure out what was happening. I wish I’d been as shocked when he called, but I wasn’t. I could tell Alisha had feelings for him and I should have confronted her about it before, but I didn’t because I felt like if I did, it would make it true.”

  I nodded.

  “Anyway, I came over here to tell you to give Kieran a break. What you think you saw was wrong. He would never do that, not to me or you.”

  “So him and Alisha…?”

  “Are nothing. He’s in love with you.”

  I studied his face. He looked sincere, but I didn’t really know him well enough to tell.

  “I wouldn’t lie to you,” he said.

  No, I decided he probably wouldn’t. I’d had a good feeling about him from the start. Plus, I wanted to believe him so bad.

  “Okay.” I nodded.

  He smiled. “Good. Then you should probably go talk to Kieran. He’s going crazy without you.”

  My stomach twisted with guilt. “I feel terrible. He tried to talk to me. I should have let him explain.”

  Shannon shrugged. “We all make mistakes. Look at who you’re talking to.”

  I frowned. “Shannon, how could you have known?”

  He worked his bottom lip between his teeth, then answered, “I should have.”

  I sighed and started for the door. Shannon’s phone rang and I heard him answer it.

  “Kieran, hey. Where are you?”

  I paused in the doorway and listened.

  “WHERE?” Shannon shouted. “Are you serious? What were you thinking?”

  I looked over to him and his worried eyes met mine. I wondered what was going on.

  “Okay, okay. Yeah, I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m leaving right now.”

  “What was that about?” I asked, my brows knitting together.

  “I gotta go. Kieran and Ollie were arrested and I need to post bail.”

  My mouth dropped open. “Arrested? What?”

  “Yeah, I don’t think it’s too serious. They were just being stupid.” Shannon started out my door and I grabbed my purse.

  “I’m coming with you.”

  He nodded and we raced down the stairs and into the parking lot. I followed Shannon to his car and once we were in, he sped out of the lot.

  “Has this ever happened before?” I asked when he stopped at a red light.

  “With Ollie, yes. Kieran, no,” he answered, staring straight out the windshield.

  We rode in silence after that. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Shannon had said about Kieran and Alisha. I had been so sure about what I’d seen, but it turned out I was wrong. I felt like an idiot. A heartless, stubborn idiot. I also couldn’t help but wonder if the reason Kieran was in jail right now had something to do with me.

  I didn’t have to wonder long. We stopped at an intersection and something red caught my eye. I gasped.

  “Oh, my—is that…” I trailed off, one hand covering my mouth, the other pointing to the left.

  Shannon turned to see what I was looking at.

  “Yes. That would be what they got busted for.”

  There was a large, red, bleeding heart spray painted on the crumbling, abandoned building to my left. Inside black letters read, “Marissa.” Underneath, in large red letters outlined in black it said “FOREVER.” To the side of that, in smaller letters, was the
message, “P.S. I don’t care if you don’t like coffee.” Except coffee was spelled, “coffe”, missing the final “e.”

  I laughed, my eyes tearing up. “I can’t believe he did that. It’s so beautiful.”

  “It’s so illegal,” Shannon retorted, but he was laughing, too.

  “How could I have ever thought that Kieran was really with Alisha? I’m such an idiot, Shannon,” I said, shaking my head, wiping the tears away.

  “Well, that’s perfect, ‘cause he is, too.” Shannon smiled.

  When we arrived at the police station, I decided to wait out front while Shannon went in and took care of business. The air was cool and I wrapped my arms around myself, taking a shaky breath as I waited to see Kieran again. It seemed to take forever. Finally, Ollie emerged from the front doors.

  “Oh, hey, Marissa,” he said when he saw me. “Sorry about getting Kieran in trouble.”

  My lips turned up as I patted his shoulder. “I think he got himself in trouble.”

  Shannon came out next and he and Ollie walked towards the car.

  Kieran came out last. His eyes widened when he saw me. He opened his mouth, but I didn’t give him time to say anything.

  “Kieran!” I threw my arms around his neck.

  “Hey,” he whispered, bending to bury his face in my neck. His whole body seemed to relax as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “How did you know I was here?”

  “I was with Shannon when you called,” I said.

  He lifted his head and looked down at me, his brows drawn in confusion.

  “He came over to talk about what really happened with you and Alisha,” I explained.

  “You’ll talk to him, but not me?”

  I looked away to avoid the hurt in his eyes. “Um…yeah. I’m sorry about that. I was just being a stupid, stubborn—”

  Kieran shook his head. “No, stop. I’m just glad you’re here.”

  “No, really, I am sorry. There’s no excuse—”