Odium (The Dead Saga.)

by Riley, Claire C

  I blush and step into the water to hide some of my nakedness, the water barely covering my breasts as I stay close enough to the shore to talk to him.

  “Hey.” I stare back, wondering what he’s going to do. My body wants him to get undressed and join me, and not because he could do with a good scrub himself, though he could. His clothes are covered in dried blood and filth, as are his face and hands. However, I couldn’t give a damn about any of that; it’s him that I want near me. My own feelings for him are confusing. After all this time, why I’m suddenly feeling a connection to another man, I don’t know. But I am, and the craving for him—for his touch—keeps growing, despite my best efforts to fight it.

  “That was some crazy shit over there, huh?” He scratches the back of his neck and smiles almost shyly at me, trying to keep eye contact and not stare at my nakedness below the water.

  “Sure was. I don’t think I’ve made any new friends either.” I smile, leaning my head back and letting the water wash over it.

  Mikey crosses his arms across his chest, making his muscles flex beneath the thin material, and now it’s my turn to swallow. “Don’t worry about Crunch, she hates everyone—especially anyone I like.” He laughs lightly and then swallows hard, seemingly nervous of little old me all of a sudden.

  An alarm is going off in my mind, and I put all thoughts of a naked Mikey to rest and dig deeper.

  “Me in particular.” I stare him down.

  Mikey shrugs, but offers no explanation. Yeah, we both know that to be true.

  “Did you two have a thing going at one time? If I’m stepping on someone’s toes or something, I think I deserve to know.” I’ve already guessed that they did, but want him to finally tell me. Nothing has happened between us yet, but I can feel it growing between us. Blossoming, as fucking cliché as that sounds.

  Mikey looks away from me, checking the trees behind him for movements before replying.

  “We did at one time, but not recently.”

  “Right, and is that by her choice or yours?” I narrow my eyes at him, feeling vulnerable in my naked state and not sexy at all anymore.

  He shrugs, but again doesn’t answer.

  “So it was your choice then?” Okay, this isn’t anything that I hadn’t already guessed, but it seems like there’s more to this.

  He looks at me, his brown eyes boring into mine, and then I get it. I finally get it.

  “Because of me?” I huff. Well this makes more sense now.

  Mikey nods and rubs the back of his neck, looking like little boy lost.

  “No point in being all coy about it now, Mikey. I would have appreciated the heads up though,” I snap, though why I’m angry, I don’t really know. She had no claim on him, and neither do I, and if he broke up with her when I came along, then at least he tried to do the right thing. But I am mad at him, and at myself.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say. Me and Crunch, it wasn’t like this,” he gestures between us. “It was mutually convenient. Or so I thought. I guess I didn’t realize that she actually liked me so much until after you came to stay with us and I dumped her…” He trails off at the look on my face.

  “No wonder she hates my guts! You used her and then dumped her for me.” I hit the water angrily, making it splash around me.

  “We used each other,” he snaps back.

  “Jesus! Were you that certain I was a done deal, Mikey? Do I come across as an easy lay to you?”

  Mikey steps forward, the toes of his boots dipping in the water. “No, of course not. I just…”

  “What? You thought you’d set things up on the long shot, eh?” The looks that JD and Mikey have been exchanging all make sense now, and my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

  “Nina. If I would have known…I…” He rubs his hands down his face. “I like you, Nina. I knew that there was something about you when I met you, so when I got back here I broke it off with her. Shit, it’s not like we were even dating, we just messed around from time to time. No big deal.”

  “You were fuck-buddies in your eyes, but to her it was obviously more than that. And it was a big enough deal that you didn’t warn me,” I snap.

  “What do you want me to say? It’s not like anything has happened between me and you either. When would be the right time to bring up some shit which doesn’t seem relevant anyway? To me it wasn’t anything special—to me it was just sex.” He stares at me hard.

  “That’s the problem with men like you,” I complain. “You don’t think past your dicks. You used her and I won’t let you use me.” I turn and swim back to the little island, ignoring him shouting for me to come back.

  As if there wasn’t enough crap going on in the world to worry about, now I have to stress over crazy ex-girlfriends too.

  Suppertime is a quiet affair. Britta’s cooked a lovely meal for us, but it’s a sad thing when there’s an empty chair around the table. Sure, there’s one less mouth to feed, but there’s also less conversation. We eat, but without much conviction or appreciation for the food. I thank Britta and head off to bed with Emily in tow, my thoughts a tumble of Duncan, Crunch, and Mikey, and all those poor bastards that died over at the hub.

  “Are you okay, Nina?” Emily climbs into bed after taking her shoes off—scruffy little ankle boots that are nearly falling apart. I make a mental note to try to find her some new ones when we go over to the hub.

  “Yeah, Emily. It’s just hard being here sometimes.” I unlace my Doc Martens and smile, my thoughts wandering to Ben as they always do when I take off my boots.

  “Hard? Why?” She snuggles down under her dirty blanket, and I make another mental note to take it to the lake at some point and wash it for her, or at least see if I can pick her up a new one.

  “Being around people…behind the walls, it was horrific.” I climb onto my bunk, curling up on my side to watch her. She nods and I continue. “You know what it was like, you were there too. It was supposed to be a sanctuary, a place for people to go and be safe.”

  “So what happened?” She looks genuinely confused. I guess it sort of happened overnight: one day we were safe, the next we were being raped and beaten.

  I swallow the bitter taste in my mouth before I continue. “When the government collapsed, I guess they stopped helping. There was no food, no first aid, no weapons. It must have been happening for weeks; we just didn’t realize it. The towns behind the walls had to learn to take care of themselves, and someone had to be in charge and make the rules…”

  “Why? Why couldn’t everyone just get along?” Tears brim in her eyes.

  “Because it’s human nature to want to control others, to be in charge—to rule. If people won’t fall in line, I guess they’re classed as a liability.”

  “With great power comes great responsibility,” Emily whispers.

  I snort. “Yeah, that’s true. Spiderman had it right all along, Em.” We both pause on my nickname for her. She smiles at me, accepting of it, and I continue.

  “Being here with other people, people that care and help out, I guess I just sort of panic. It’s been a long time since I trusted someone. People turned bad behind the walls, everyone out for themselves. I find it hard here because if I want to keep you safe I have to let my guard down and trust these people. I have to put both of our lives in their hands at times, and I guess I just don’t like it.”

  “Thank you.” Emily smiles, wiping away her tears with her blanket, and I nearly choke up too. This kid has gotten under my skin, and I know that I’ll do everything in my power to protect her. “I don’t have any family anymore. It’s nice that you care so much.”

  “We’re each other’s family now, Emily. You and me, kiddo.”

  She smiles again, and I know that she’s trying her hardest to not go all gushy on me.

  “I know that it wasn’t easy for you either, but,” I take a breath, “I’m just glad that you weren’t a little older. What I went through, no one should have to go through.” My voice trembles
, and I squeeze my eyes shut.

  When I open them I see she’s closed her own eyes, and I realize that she’s fallen asleep. I watch her sleeping for a while, waiting for my own eyes to grow heavy. In some ways, she’s so grown up, and yet in others she’s still the child she was when the world was destroyed. I stretch and turn onto my back, staring up at the wooden roof above me, and thank Duncan for building this place, and I pray for his soul.

  Twenty-Six.

  After a breakfast of berries and canned tuna (yeah, great selection, I know), we begin to pack up some weapons and get ready for the trek over to the hub. JD has gone to scout ahead to make sure that the coast is clear for us. Unfortunately, Britta’s wrist is still too sore to hold a weapon, and with Emily coming to help carry stuff too, I’m more than a little worried. Duncan was a link in our armor, and with him gone it’s left a gaping hole.

  Most of the group is feeling pretty cheery to be getting away from camp and wander around the hub; new surroundings are a real mood booster—especially surroundings that have been cleared of deaders. We’re about ready to go when we see JD running back through the trees. The look on his face is not good, and I climb down with Mikey to see what’s going on.

  “The Forgotten,” JD pants. “We have to go.” He bends over and clutches his knees as he tries to catch his breath, and I see dried blood on the back of his head and down the back of his neck.

  “They don’t know about this place,” Mikey replies, his eyes quickly scanning the distance.

  I can hear movements too—and voices.

  “They’re following me,” JD shouts, rubbing his hand carefully across the back of his head and wincing when he sees the blood. “They caught me, but I got away—but they’ve been following me ever since. They’re going to be here any minute. Get everyone together and let’s go.” JD climbs the steps and out of my view. I hear him shouting to the others, and everyone moving around above us.

  Mikey stares after him for a second before grabbing my arm. “Get Emily, get to the shoreline. Leave your stuff, I’ll get it for you.”

  I shrug him off, ever the stubborn bitch, and climb the steps. “I told you, I don’t need your help.”

  “Stop being so stubborn,” he snaps after me.

  JD rounds everyone up quickly, and despite what Mikey told me, I grab all I can carry and climb down, never letting Emily out of my sight. We head for the water, and when we reach it, Crunch runs off with JD to a small hut by the shoreline and unlocks the door with a key from a large bunch she’s carrying.

  “Mikey!” She calls him over, and they all begin dragging out canoes and paddles, and I know that she has to be fucking joking. I’ve never been in a canoe in my life, let alone paddled one. Is that what you do? Paddle?

  Everyone but Emily and I begin pushing out into the water and climbing into the canoes without a second thought. None of these people seem like the great outdoorsman type, but hey, what do I know? Perhaps they were all avid canoers in their previous lives. Stranger things have happened, right? Mikey sees my obvious concern and takes control, and as much as it pisses me off, I’m kinda glad for it too.

  “Emily you’re with Josie, me and Nina will go together.” He grabs my bags from my shoulders before I can argue back, and throws them in the canoe before beginning to wade out into the water. He turns back to look at me. “Move it, now!”

  Everyone else has taken his lead and gone along with it—even Emily.

  Traitor.

  I don’t bother to argue with him anymore, and instead wade out with him, all the while watching where Emily is and listening for any noise around us. Josie is giving her clear directions on where to stand, something about stepping over the keel and keeping low.

  How I get myself into these situations is beyond me. The water is cold as it seeps into my boots and makes my pants stick to my legs, but I don’t have time to think about that as Mikey gives me the same directions I heard Emily getting. Gunshots and hooting are going off in the trees, but I try to ignore them and focus on what he’s saying.

  “Nina, you need to step directly over the keel.”

  “The what?” I ask, panicked, my teeth chattering, but not just from the cold. Voices are getting louder behind us.

  “… you can run, but you can’t hide…”

  I turn around, staring at the tree line, waiting for the Forgotten to burst through them at any minute. What is wrong with these people? Why do they want to hurt us?

  “Nina! Focus!” Mikey shouts at me, and I turn and try to pay attention. He points to the end of the canoe. “This is the keel. You can’t stand in a canoe, it’ll tip over if you do. You have to step directly over this part and sit down, keeping your body low and central. Do you understand?”

  I nod, and try to do what he says while he holds the canoe as still as possible for me, which is damn near impossible. Even with his help, I struggle, and I slip and fall on my ass, the water splashing up around me and making the chill in me run through to my bones. The others are just about on board now and have begun to paddle out across the lake while I’m still floundering around trying to get in like a fucking idiot.

  Damn it.

  I can the feel panic rising, knowing that there are people in the trees behind us who would be willing to do god knows what to us if they catch us.

  “Mikey…” I shout out as I fall into the water for the second time. “I can’t do this, I can’t do it.” I may or may not slap the water in frustration too, but we don’t need to talk about that.

  Mikey comes up behind me and drags me up and shoves me right into the canoe, where I land unceremoniously into the bottom of it with a thud and nearly knock myself out.

  “Keep down,” he barks out at me when I try to sit up.

  He pushes the canoe further out before gripping hold of the sides of it and climbing in. He grabs a paddle and hands me the other one, and starts to paddle furiously away from the shoreline.

  “Copy me,” he says, while grabbing my hands and putting them in the correct position. “I’ll take most of the weight, but I need your help.”

  His arms move quickly, pulling the paddle as hard as he can through the water, and I copy as best I can. I’m pretty sure that I make it harder at times, though. He turns around to check behind him, and when he looks back, his face has blanched. I look over my shoulder and can see why: several men have come out of the trees and are taking aim at us. Mikey’s momentum increases; the muscles in his arms and shoulders strain against the movement, sweat breaking out on his forehead.

  The men fire their guns at us several times, shouting and laughing. Mikey shuffles down low, telling me to do the same, while we continue to paddle, and miraculously they miss us. I peep up from my position again, making the boat rock from side to side, and watch as a couple of them run over to the hut to grab a canoe, dragging it to the shore. They push off into the water, but thankfully for us, they obviously know as much about canoeing as I do and deftly fall in several times before seemingly giving up and beginning to shoot at us again. Mikey glances behind us, making sure to steer us in between the other canoes, and continues to keep as low as he can, but doesn’t slow in his momentum to get us to the other side of the lake. We’re too far away for them to hit us now, but I still panic with every shot that rings out.

  “They’re going.” Mikey speaks first, and I sit up and look behind us, making the boat rock furiously again. “Jesus, careful, Nina.”

  “Sorry.” I look back at him sheepishly, relieved that we are nearing halfway across now, though my heart is still going a million miles an hour. “How do you know how to canoe?” I ask, looking around for Emily. She’s talking with Josie, looking worried and emotional.

  “Duncan taught us all. This was our bug out plan.”

  I nod, and feel shame and sadness sweep through me that Duncan isn’t here. He was a good man after all, seemingly thinking of everything he could to protect these people. Maybe he was trying to make up for his past mistakes and cover up his own g
uilt, but either way he just saved our lives. I chance another glance behind us, but the Forgotten—or whoever they are—have definitely taken off. I breathe a sigh of relief that at least they aren’t shooting at us anymore.

  “What do you think they are going to do? Can they drive around and get to the other side?” I can’t help but feel sad that I’ve lost not one, but two homes in the space of a couple of hours, and Duncan’s death seems like it was for nothing now, too.

  “No, there’s no way around. They’d have to go back to the road and take the long way, but I can’t see them bothering. It would take hours. As for what they’re going to do, well, I don’t know. Maybe they won’t notice the huts in the trees, maybe they will, but if they do get up there, they won’t be able to get from tree to tree and more than likely won’t stick around.”

  A sweat has broken out on his forehead and I lean across and wipe it away with the sleeve of my hoody before it trickles into his eyes. I’m still mad at him, but he just saved me—again—and for that I have to be grateful. His muscles tense with every stroke of the paddle, and I’d love to be able to help out, but since I only know two things about canoes—squat and diddly—I don’t bother to offer my help. I notice that we have way surpassed the others. I look back at them; their faces are grim but determined.

  We paddle in silence for a couple of minutes before he interrupts my thoughts.

  “Idiots.”

  I turn to look behind us and see thick black smoke rising above the trees line. When I look back, Mikey is looking at me. He shakes his head sadly. “I guess they decided to torch it.”

  “Why would they do that? I mean, what the fuck do they even want?” I shout, making the others look at me. I point behind us and they stare sadly as their homes for the last couple of years burn away.

  “Vengeance.”

  Mikey’s voice is cold as he says it, and for a moment I wonder what our little group did to piss these people off so much; then I realize that he means they want vengeance against the world. They were left to rot outside the walls’ protection, hence the name the Forgotten, I guess.