Odium (The Dead Saga.)

by Riley, Claire C

  “You were all the Forgotten though, right? I mean, none of you lived behind the walls, and you don’t go around killing people for no reason.”

  “The Forgotten aren’t just any people, Nina. They are bad people. Rapists, murderers, criminals. They call themselves the Forgotten, not us, and they think that the world—other survivors—owe them a debt. They weren’t just left behind, they were refused entry. They fought and struggled and lost loved ones just to get to the walls, and when they got there they were point blank turned away. They weren’t good enough to be allowed behind the walls.”

  Mikey sounds more pissed off than I would have thought. I can’t blame him—it’s horrible to think that these people were just turned away, but that’s no excuse to go around terrorizing and hurting other innocent people. In all the books I ever read and all the movies I ever watched, it was always the same: the big and bad of society, so to speak, turn on everyone else, and kill and torture and try to control everyone and everything; but I never got it. And now I’m living it and I still don’t get it. I get that there are bad people in the world. I’m not stupid. There were before all this happened, and there still are now. And I understand that people turn on each other and some people—well yeah, they’re just fucked in the head, I guess. But at a time like this when what you need to do is stand together to protect each other, why the hell would you decide that killing people is a better option?

  I think of JD. “JD doesn’t go around killing people. Neither do you or Crunch.”

  “Maybe he would of if he would have been free when it all happened. It’s different for him though—he was in prison when it happened. By the time he escaped, he only had one goal in mind, and that was to kill as many zombies as possible. He never wanted to go behind the walls.” His eyes bore holes into my face. “The Forgotten were cast aside as the shit of society, in the hopes that they would die and the government would be rid of them once and for all, while everyone else got to live it up without the fear of being mauled to death by a fucking zombie every time they sat down to rest.” Mikey avoids my stare, his voice rising as he talks.

  “You sound like you agree with them.” My eyes narrow.

  “Maybe once I did, but not anymore. I know that it wasn’t anyone’s fault how it all went down in the end. No one asked for this. We could all survive if we stopped killing each other and killed the dead instead, but some people like to think of the end of the world as an excuse to go fucking mental, I guess.”

  I snort back a laugh. I can’t argue with that. I’ve seen plenty of crazy shit the past couple of years. The things that people will do to survive never fail to amaze me: mothers protecting their children with their own lives and bodies, husbands committing unimaginable acts against others to protect their own families. I guess now that I have Emily and this little surrogate family, I would do almost anything to protect them too. Anyway, maybe if the Forgotten knew the hell behind the walls, they wouldn’t be in such a hurry to get behind them. I shudder as I think how much worse it could possibly be if the Forgotten ever did get control of one of the walled cities and their people.

  “What are you thinking about? Did I fuck up again?” Mikey’s voice breaks through to me and I glance at him, his look pained.

  “No.” I shake my head. “I was just thinking about how bad it could get for the survivors behind the walls if the Forgotten ever got in.”

  “They’d tear the place apart.”

  I nod, knowing what he’s saying is true.

  “You’d think this world was bad enough with the deaders to fear. But no, there’s worse. There are human beings that will do worse to you,” I bite out through gritted teeth. “What people have had to do so far to protect their loved ones and survive is hard enough, but what more are they going to have to do to protect themselves?”

  “I’ll protect you and Emily now.”

  I look at him, my forehead crinkling in confusion. “We’re not your problem, Mikey. I can manage on my own, and I can protect Emily too. I don’t need you.”

  We have made it to the other side of the lake, thankfully, and the canoe sticks in the mud of the shoreline.

  He looks at me hard. “I know you don’t. You’re as tough as old boots, Nina. But I want to.” His jaw grinds hard and he looks away so that I can’t reply, and jumps out of the canoe.

  What the hell do I say to that?

  We drag the boats far up into the trees and into a hut almost identical to the one on the other side. Watching the fire burning the trees and our home away on the other side of the lake, there’s a deep sense of loss—all of us feeling heartbroken to have lost so much, but relieved that we made it out together and alive. Pain tugs at me again that Duncan died for nothing. He never wanted to go to the hub, but we all convinced him and it got him killed. Now it was for nothing, and we’re homeless once more.

  “So, what now?” Emily asks.

  Still asking that same question, eh, Emily?

  I roll my eyes but agree, since I’d like to know what the rest of the bug out plan is.

  “I don’t know,” JD replies. He looks almost lost, and drapes his arm heavily around Josie’s shoulders.

  “What do you mean, you don’t know?” I question.

  “I mean that this was our plan. Now I don’t have a fucking clue what to do or where to go,” JD snaps.

  “We must have some idea where we can go. You must have talked about it at some point,” I snap back.

  We all stand and stare at each other with blank expressions until Emily pipes up.

  “Nina, we could go to your husband’s cabin.” She looks cheery that she remembered the original plan.

  My cheeks go warm at the mention of Ben. Or maybe it’s because everyone turns to look at me, some open-mouthed that I have a husband, some with big fucking smirks on their faces, like the cat that got the cream.

  “You said it was safe up there. That’s where we were heading before Mikey got us stuck in the store.” She rolls her eyes at him, oblivious to my awkwardness, Crunch’s gloating, and Mikey’s anger.

  “Sounds like a great plan, Emily. Whereabouts is this cabin then?” Mikey speaks through gritted teeth.

  “Woodland Springs I think you said, right, Nina?”

  I nod, and swallow hard. I haven’t purposely not told Mikey about Ben, but I also haven’t been entirely truthful either. I guess that makes two of us keeping secrets. Now I feel like a big fucking hypocrite.

  JD nods and grabs a map from his backpack and spreads it out on the floor. He quickly assesses where we are and which way we need to go.

  “Mikey, I think if we cut across the field over here, we can skip all the major roads. It should take us straight into the next town. It’s some weird hippie town all about saving the planet or some shit, but,” he points to the map and Mikey and I lean over to look, “if I remember correctly, when I came through it last time, there was a car dealership on the outskirts. If we can get there and get a car, we could be heading up into the hills by nightfall.” He looks to Mikey for agreement and when Mikey nods, he looks to everyone else.

  JD folds his map back up and puts it away. “It’s a long trek, through some pretty open ground with nowhere to hide, which is a good and a bad thing,” he warns.

  Everyone agrees that it’s the best plan though—hell, it’s the only plan—and we load up our things and head off. I purposely try to stay away from Mikey, but he catches up quickly. He doesn’t say anything, but I can feel the tension pouring off him, and it only seems to be getting worse with every smirk and glance from Crunch.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper, feeling guiltier than I should.

  I look at him, but he won’t look at me. His eyes stay trained on the floor. I don’t know why I think now is the appropriate time to discuss this, but since we’re currently out of immediate danger I go with my gut instinct.

  “I didn’t purposely not tell you.”

  “You didn’t tell me though, did you?” he replies.

 
“He’s dead. It’s not like you have anything to worry about.” I choke on the words, realizing how much I actually care for Mikey and how much I don’t want to lose him.

  “Only ghosts.”

  I don’t have an answer for that. He’s right. Ben still haunts me, I just hadn’t realized how much or how obvious it was to everyone else.

  “You fucking judged me when you were keeping your own secrets, Nina.” He looks up at me now and I realize how angry he is. He’s not hurt at all.

  “You’re right, I can’t defend that, but when you put it into perspective, I’m not as bad as you. So what that I didn’t tell you that my husband was dead, that I killed him, that it was all my fault? So fucking what? You used Crunch and you hurt me!” I spin to face him, my own anger mirroring his as I give him a hard push to his chest, making him stumble back “Don’t fucking judge me!”

  “I didn’t use either of you. I told her straight how it was and stopped fucking around with her as soon as I got back to camp. As soon as I realized that I had feelings for you.”

  I cringe at the thought of him having feelings for me, but feel a little thrill at it too.

  “…Sorry, but it is what it is, Nina. I can’t help it that she likes me more than I like her.” He shrugs. “It was mutually beneficial to both of us, and she knew from the get-go that that’s what it was.” He grabs my arm to stop me from walking away.

  “But you could have told me, warned me even,” I huff and look into the distance, watching the smoke still rising into the sky. “You know what she’s like, and you made me into her enemy.”

  “And I’m sorry for that, but what would it have really changed? She would still have hated you because I didn’t want her anymore. I can’t help how she feels.”

  Men are so fucking clueless sometimes!

  We stare at each other, and I’m lost as to what else to say, which is good since we get interrupted by Britta.

  “Guys, you need to come and see this. We have a problem.”

  I roll my eyes at Mikey and storm off for dramatic effect, not really knowing why, or who I’m angry with anymore.

  Maybe the whole fucking world?

  Twenty-Seven.

  As we break through the tree line, we see the open fields in front of us. When JD had said fields, I guess I’d just assumed, well—fields. The journey seems incredibly long with no end to the field in sight, but what frightens me more are the horde of zombies that are just casually strolling around, as if they didn’t have a care in the world. One or two wouldn’t necessarily be a problem. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always a problem when there are deaders around, but one or two we could handle. This many? No way.

  “Okay, so what’s the new plan?” I pull my bag off my shoulders, grab my bottle of water, and take a long swig.

  “There is no new plan.” JD looks at me seriously.

  I look around at everyone else’s faces and know that I’m not the only one who thinks this is a death trap, but once again, I’m the only one willing to speak up.

  “You can’t be serious? Look at them!” I nearly drop my water in anger, and quickly screw the lid back on.

  “We have to,” Crunch snaps. “What else are we going to do? Take the twelve-mile hike around it? Or perhaps we could head back across the lake and see what those douche bags have left for us!”

  She hates my guts, but the tension in her shoulders makes it clear that this isn’t personal; she’s just as worried as I am.

  “Well yeah. Why not?” I splutter. “Seriously, what are we in such a goddamned hurry for? You gotta get up for work in the morning or something? Let’s take the route around. It might take longer, but it’s safer.”

  “We’re doing this, Nina.”

  “JD, this is obviously a trap. Look at this place!” I feel Emily’s hand slip into mine—whether it’s to comfort me or her, I don’t know. “Someone has rounded these deaders up and left them here. How else do you explain so many in one place, huh? We have to go around.”

  “You don’t know what’s over the next hill, Nina.” He gestures wearily to the field of zombies. “It could be worse than this. Besides, I have a feeling that that’s what they want us to do.”

  “What? Who would do that? And why?” As soon as I say it, I know: the Forgotten.

  Goddamn it, if I ever get my hands on one of them, I’ll wring their stupid fucking necks.

  “In the meantime, while you go check out the other options available to us and continue to argue with me, we’re losing daylight. We need to get across this field and get to the cabin; we need to get to safety,” JD says while tightening his backpack straps and tucking in his T-shirt.

  Even with all that has happened so far today, now that he has a plan, he seems calm again. Losing our home, being captured and beaten…damn, I don’t know whether to be annoyed or just plain jealous that he can keep such a cool head about all these things. I wish I had his self-control, but then maybe that’s all it really takes—a plan, a direction, anything to help you focus on your survival.

  “JD, don’t rest all of our fates on the cabin. It might be destroyed, for all I know!”

  “It might not.” He pulls out a long knife to go along with the scythe in his other hand, completely ignoring my distress.

  “Someone else might be living there for all we know.”

  He looks at me with a raise of his eyebrow. “They might not.”

  Frustration and anger overflow from me and I dive forward to whoop him upside the head, but Mikey grabs me around the waist and Emily pulls my arm back.

  “You’re being an idiot. This could get us all killed,” I shout, my anger flaring even more.

  “It might—”

  “Not! Yes, I get it,” I snap, and struggle out of Mikey’s grasp. “I’m fine, get off me.”

  “Look, Nina, you don’t have to come with us. That’s your choice. We’re going.” JD looks around at the others. “That goes for any of you. None of you have to come. That’s your choice. But these deaders have been planted here to force us to go around, and I’m not doing it. I see freedom on the other side of this field and I’m taking it. If that isn’t worth risking my life for, then I don’t know what is.”

  “Freedom? There’s no freedom from this, just more damn zombies!” I spit.

  “JD,” Britta steps forward, “my wrist is still too bad to hold a weapon.” Her face creases with worry. “I-I can’t…”

  “You’ll be fine, Britta.” Crunch pulls out both of her knives with a smile, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s smiling because she knows that Britta would be easy bait if anything should happen.

  “You know the rules.” Britta grimaces. “What do I do, ask the nice zombies not to eat me because I’m having a bad day?”

  “Stop whining, you’ll be fine. I’ve got your back.” Crunch smiles again.

  A chill runs up and down my spine, like a tiny trail of ants. With that smile, I know that I have to go with them. If anything goes wrong, well, let’s just say that Crunch seems more likely to stab Britta in the back than help protect her back. When am I going to learn to mind my own damn business?

  We slide down the dusty embankment and wait just behind the wooden fence surrounding the field for everyone to regroup. JD heads up the line with Josie behind him, then Britta, with Crunch snapping at her heels. Emily is between Crunch and me; at least I can trust that she wouldn’t necessarily hurt Emily. She may not stick around to protect her if there’s immediate danger, but she won’t sacrifice her. Either way, I’m right behind Emily, and I’ll protect her.

  Mikey is taking the back of the line to cover us from behind, or to stare at my behind, I’m not sure which. No, surely it’s for protection purposes? I turn around and give him a lift of my eyebrow, and he replies with a smirk.

  Damn him. My behind!

  “Everybody ready?” JD whispers back.

  We all give quiet approval and climb over the fence and into hell, trying to make as little noise as possible. Once on
the other side of the fence, though, I know that it will make no difference.

  The horde are a way off and luckily shambling in the opposite direction, but it won’t take long for them to spot us on the open land, so we set off at a steady speed. JD had said to keep it at a brisk jog, to save our reserves for running for our lives, and that’s what we do: a slow yet spritely jog through the wonderful countryside. There are birds in the sky and a breeze in the air, and I’m surrounded by over fifty flesh-eating, stinking, ravenous deaders—simply marvelous, huh?

  The entire field is surrounded by a waist-high wooden fence—with the exception of one area to the far left, where the fence has collapsed. This does nothing to help the deaders though; it only seems to confuse the hell out of them as they try to escape en masse through the small opening like they’re at a bad rock concert. The ground is littered with rotting body parts and bones, and I wonder whether they are from other deaders or from other people that have attempted to cross here. I shudder and try not to look down at the death around my feet.

  None of us speak while we jog at our steady pace through the field, each of us lost in our own thoughts and hopes for survival and possible freedom from this nightmarish day. Emily looks behind once or twice and I try to give her a reassuring smile, but it’s lost in my own horror-filled expression as we pass another group of deaders to the right, which are moving in our direction.

  JD has spotted them and diverts us to a more central location in the hopes of us getting further across the field before we’re spotted by the largest group of deaders near the fallen fence. However, it’s the low moan of ‘suppertime’ from a lone deader that finally gives away our location.

  We were so intent on the horde to the left and the zombie pile to the right that we are now stuck in the middle of them all—hey, I’m sure there’s a song here somewhere. Another couple of stragglers have seen us, and are now heading in our direction. We can outrun them easily, but their groans of starvation are alerting the other deaders to our location, and a loud chorus of hunger is erupting around us like it’s Christmas and they’re carolers.