The Child's Secret

by Amanda Brooke

  21

  Jasmine’s home: Wednesday 7 October 2015

  When Finn jumped up off the sofa, the sudden movement made Laura flinch. She had withdrawn completely from the world around her and had been staring at the stain on the rug again. The pain in her left side flared briefly, although it was nothing compared to the pain in her heart.

  ‘Is there any news?’ Finn asked, pouncing on Michael the moment he came through the door.

  ‘No, we haven’t found her yet,’ the policeman said, directing his reply to Laura who, he had surmised, was the most in need of answers.

  Finn cursed first under his breath and then louder. ‘Then what the fuck are you doing out there?’ he roared.

  Michael’s only response was to sit down in an armchair. He motioned for Finn to do the same and refused to say a word until Finn was settled back on the sofa next to Laura. She didn’t want Finn sitting next to her, but he had refused to leave her side since the police arrived. He gave her no comfort but he played the part extremely well.

  ‘DCI Harper is still interviewing Mr McIntyre and he’s asked me to clarify some points and gather a bit more information,’ Michael said.

  Finn folded his arms. ‘Such as?’

  ‘For one, we’d like more specifics about Jasmine’s clothing.’

  ‘Have you found …’ Laura said with a strangled gasp. She didn’t want to think about what might have been found or where, so let her words fall into the abyss that she was only one step away from being pulled into herself.

  ‘No, no,’ Michael said quickly. ‘We haven’t found any clothing but we would like more details about the shoes Jasmine was wearing. We’re conducting a thorough search of the park and—’

  ‘And what about Sam’s house?’ Finn interrupted. ‘Please say you haven’t fallen for his charm offensive too. If you want to find her, then that’s where you should be looking, not the park.’

  ‘Did any of you ever visit Mr McIntyre’s house?’

  ‘No,’ Laura answered quickly.

  ‘Is it possible that Jasmine could have visited on her own?’

  Finn took a breath, but before he could answer, Laura said, ‘She wouldn’t even know where he lived.’

  ‘Oh, don’t be so naïve, Laura. He’d find a way of getting her there,’ Finn said, not willing to let the trail he was convinced would lead to his daughter go cold. ‘He had plenty of opportunity to tell our Jazz where he lived; he probably told her it would be their little secret. Sam has a way of manipulating people, Michael. The job, the holiday …’ Finn laughed bitterly. ‘We all played right into his hands. Me and Laura, even Anna. You don’t get a looker like her interested in someone like Sam unless you know how to play the game.’

  Laura’s body tensed and she closed her eyes as she listened to her husband talking about the schoolteacher in such glowing terms. It wasn’t that she was jealous; she had got more than used to Finn’s infatuations over the years, some of which had been foolishly reciprocated. What she didn’t like was having a police officer bearing witness to her humiliation.

  ‘And you certainly don’t kick her out of bed unless your tastes lie elsewhere,’ Finn said, continuing with the vitriolic attack.

  When Laura peeled her eyes open, her husband was looking directly at her.

  ‘Sam came across as the real gentleman,’ Finn said slowly, ‘but he was conning each and every one of us all along, so he could groom my daughter.’

  ‘Stop it!’ Laura said, unable to hear any more against the man whose only desire had been to protect them. She couldn’t bear any suggestion that Sam had wanted to abuse them, especially not from someone like Finn. Unable to sit next to him a moment longer, Laura jumped up and the pain in her side hit her with the force of a gunshot wound and she cried out.

  ‘Are you all right, Mrs Peterson?’ Michael asked and was at her side in seconds.

  When the family liaison officer slipped his arm around her, Laura was thankful that neither of the men with her could read her thoughts. Michael wasn’t as tall as Sam but he gave her the same feeling of being in the arms of someone who would never do her harm. She refused to accept that Sam was involved in her daughter’s disappearance. She hadn’t been taken for a fool: she had surely learnt her lesson after falling for Finn. Hadn’t she? ‘I just want my baby back home,’ she cried and didn’t care how the pain intensified with her sobs. She deserved the agony. She had failed her daughter. ‘I want to know where she is. Please find her. Please, Michael, just bring her home.’

  ‘We’re doing our best and we won’t rest until she’s found, I promise you that.’

  Finn had stood up too and he pulled her to him, most likely to prise her away from the police officer rather than to console her. She shrugged off both men and drew herself up straight. She wouldn’t let Jasmine down again. She would do whatever was asked of her. ‘What do you want to know? I’ve given you her shoe size, what else do you need?’

  ‘The model of shoe would be useful. Can you remember where you bought them?’

  ‘I can do better than that. Her friend Keira has the same pair, they both insisted,’ she said with a sad smile.

  ‘Perfect,’ Michael said.

  Laura nodded. She was helping. They were making progress. ‘So, what else do you need?’

  ‘How did you hurt your side, Mrs Peterson?’

  22

  Wednesday 19 August 2015

  The road from Mold to Pantymwyn dipped and fell, and as Laura pushed the broken bicycle up the side of yet another valley she momentarily lost sight of Jasmine who had been riding ahead. When she reached the top of the hill with its sweeping view of the golf course to her left and the Welsh mountains rising in the distance, she spotted Jasmine speeding downhill, her legs lifted high above the pedals, which were spinning out of control.

  ‘Be careful!’ Laura shouted although she wished she could be doing the same. Her bike had got a puncture two miles back and she had told Jasmine she could ride on ahead as long as she remained in sight and she was under strict instructions to stay on the pavement and not turn down the country lane that led to the caravan park. Laura hadn’t enjoyed taking Jasmine along the narrow, winding road on the way out and she was looking forward even less to the return journey, although it was true to say that it wasn’t only the road that was worrying her.

  She had been foolish to think that Finn’s good behaviour would last. He had promised her he would do anything and everything to keep on the straight and narrow now he had a new job, and although he hadn’t gone cold turkey, he had cut back on his drinking – at first. Laura was well aware that alcohol was a depressant and she was never sure if it was the drink that pulled down Finn’s moods or if his moods led him to drink more, but the end result was always the same … Except this time it was also different. Finn had reached new lows.

  Trying to hold onto the bike with one hand, Laura loosened the scarf around her neck, which was chafing against already sore skin but didn’t attempt to remove it. She didn’t want Jasmine to see the marks on her neck that she hoped would fade by the next day. The deep purple fingermarks on her arms would be a lengthier reminder of the night before, but not as enduring as the memory. She could still smell Finn’s fetid breath suffocating her after he had stumbled into their bedroom.

  ‘Missed me?’ he had asked as he kicked off his trainers, unbuckled the belt on his jeans and then almost toppled on top of her as he tried to take off his pants. He was laughing to himself as he got into bed, but as soon as he moved closer to her, he felt his wife freeze up, igniting the slow burning anger he had been struggling with all day.

  ‘What is it? Would you rather have Sam in your bed?’

  ‘No, of course not,’ Laura whispered. ‘I’m tired Finn. Go to sleep. Please.’

  ‘Please, please, Finn, don’t touch me,’ he mimicked in a whiny voice.

  In the next room, they could hear Sam and Anna moving about. There were hushed whispers and creaks as the two got into their bed. Finn was
quiet for a moment as he listened. ‘Do you think he’ll give her one tonight?’ he said and then sniggered. ‘I would, but here I am stuck with you. What do I have to do to warm you up, Laura? Would it help if I talk in a Scottish accent?’

  ‘I’m not interested in Sam. I love you, Finn, only you. You know that. You must know that.’

  ‘Why? Because it’s the only reason you could put up with a loser like me?’

  ‘You’re not a loser. Things are looking up now and we’re through the worst. Please Finn, just go to sleep and tomorrow we can have a nice day together, just the three of us.’

  ‘Yeah, but you’re not so keen to be on your own with me though, are you? Show me you love me, Laura.’ He started to move on top of her and that was when she had panicked.

  ‘Don’t, Finn. The others will hear us.’

  His grip on her arms tightened like a vice and when he spoke, sour spittle sprayed across her face. ‘Why? Are you saving yourself for Sam? Do you think he’s interested in you? In you?’ He laughed softly, taking pleasure in humiliating his wife. ‘Have you seen Anna? She’s stunning! She’s beautiful and funny and quick witted and …’ His slurred words slowed to a stop. In the dim light, Laura watched Finn’s eyes close as he lost himself in his own thoughts and when they snapped back open, he let go of her arms only to make a grab for her throat.

  Finn had held her down before and had used enough force to leave bruises, but as he squeezed her neck so hard that he constricted her airway, she really didn’t know her husband any more. She had been forced to accept long ago that he was capable of hurting her, but she had thought he had limits. Apparently she had been wrong.

  ‘Who would ever choose a shrivelled little mouse like you over her?’ Finn said. He leaned in closer and whispered into her ear. ‘You should be grateful I’m still interested.’

  Laura could see blotches of white light against the darkness of the night and might have passed out if Finn hadn’t released his grip on her neck. She gasped, which Finn took as encouragement and when he pressed his body against hers, he expected her to respond. Even if she had wanted to, Laura couldn’t move because his full weight was on her chest. She was struggling to breathe again and her body tensed as panic took over. Finn noticed only her frigidity and pushed himself off her in disgust before turning away. Within seconds of his head hitting the pillow he was asleep, leaving Laura frozen in shock.

  It was the heat of the afternoon sun on her back that drew Laura’s mind back to the present, and when she dropped her gaze to the ground she was surprised to see she cast any kind of shadow at all. Further ahead, she spied the Crown coming into view, but the cosy pub which offered the promise of a much-needed long and cooling drink couldn’t be any less appealing. Laura had become conditioned to feel nothing but unease at the sight of a pub.

  ‘Can I ride straight back to the caravan now?’ Jasmine asked. She was out of breath, having cycled back up the hill to speak to her mum.

  ‘No, you can wait for me. We can use the shortcut through the farmer’s field like we did last night on the way to the Crown.’

  ‘We can’t get our bikes over the stiles.’

  ‘Not on our own,’ Laura said. ‘Which is why we need to be together. You can ride as far as the turn-off but no further.’

  Jasmine looked as if she was about to argue and then thought better of it. Her sweet, innocent child had a sixth sense when it came to knowing not to argue when her mum was feeling beaten – either that or she wasn’t as deaf to the raised voices as Laura would like to believe.

  For the second time, Jasmine whizzed down the hill with the pedals spinning out of control and in less than a minute she had disappeared around the corner and onto the road that would take them past a scattering of houses before narrowing into the country lane that Laura wanted to avoid. A knot began to tighten in her stomach as she wondered if Finn’s mood would have improved by the time they reached home. After the accusations he had been firing at her, she wasn’t hopeful. The knot tightened and made her stomach lurch when she spied a figure striding across the field on the opposite side of the road. Sam was some way ahead and waved at her.

  Laura’s palms felt sweaty and her hand slipped on the handlebars as she picked up her pace, unsure if she was trying to outrun Sam or catch him up. Finn would not approve of the two meeting up, but Laura’s anxiety was swept away by a flutter of anticipation. Sam was everything her husband was not: kind, calm, considerate. He made her feel something she hadn’t felt for such a long time; he made her feel safe.

  ‘Puncture,’ she announced solemnly as Sam approached. Her voice barely quivered.

  ‘Where’s Jasmine?’

  Rather than stopping to chat, Laura pushed onwards and Sam fell in beside her. ‘She was supposed to wait at the corner,’ she said tipping her head towards the junction that was only a few hundred yards away now.

  ‘She won’t have gone too far,’ Sam replied although he didn’t sound at all confident and Laura didn’t argue when he took the bike from her so they could walk that little bit faster.

  Laura’s anxieties returned with renewed force when another thought struck her. ‘Didn’t Anna go out with you?’

  ‘She wasn’t feeling too good so I left her in bed.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Sam tore his eyes away from the road to look at her. ‘She’ll probably still be there,’ he added.

  Laura tried to fake a smile while imagining what her husband might be up to with the woman who, as he had been at pains to point out to Laura last night, was more beautiful than she was, more interesting and clever and infinitely more captivating. Not that Laura could care less if her husband did find the teacher more attractive. She was beyond such feelings as far as Finn was concerned. The only thing that actually mattered right now was her daughter’s whereabouts.

  ‘Phew, there she is,’ Sam said with a gush of relief that suggested he had been just as worried.

  Laura waved at her daughter before turning her attention to Sam and giving him a curious look. ‘You really care about her, don’t you?’

  Sam simply nodded.

  ‘I’m surprised you never had kids,’ she said. ‘You’d make a good dad.’

  Despite the strength of the sun, it was hard to miss the shadow that crossed Sam’s face. ‘I’m the last person who should be a father,’ he said in a way that made it clear he would say no more on the matter, not that he had the chance because Jasmine came screeching to a halt in front of them.

  ‘Mum says we have to cut across the field, but don’t you think we should use the proper road, Sam?’

  ‘Definitely not. I think your mum has the right idea.’

  It was quite a challenge getting the bikes over the stiles but Sam was as determined as Laura to avoid the country lane. Finally, when they reached the farmer’s field, Jasmine jumped back on her bike and sped off.

  ‘I worry about her,’ Laura said, the words slipping out before she realized what she was saying.

  ‘I worry about you both,’ Sam said, looking just as shocked as Laura that they were speaking so frankly. He had slowed to a stop and when he turned to her, she could see he was battling with his thoughts. ‘I know I’m speaking out of turn and you can tell me to mind my own business, but are you OK?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ she said as she felt embarrassment flood her chest. Nervously, she pushed a rogue curl behind her ear and didn’t realize she had started playing with her scarf until she saw Sam’s eyes widen. She quickly put her palm against her neck to hide any telltale signs that would prove her a liar while Sam was slower and more purposeful with his response. He lifted his hand to her neck but didn’t pull her hand away. He wasn’t going to force her to reveal her misery and humiliation, he simply covered her hand and his touch was so much more powerful than her husband’s.

  ‘You only have to ask if you need help,’ he said.

  ‘Mum!’ Jasmine called as she did a U-turn at the top of the field.

  Sam jerked his hand away
and the two resumed walking even as Laura replied to her daughter. ‘What?’

  ‘Can I go straight back to the caravan?’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ she said, with a smile that she held when she glanced back at Sam. ‘We’ll be fine, Sam but thank you for …’ She wasn’t sure what she was thanking him for. For noticing her? For caring? ‘For the offer.’

  ‘You’ll find me in Calderstones more often than not. If ever you do need me.’

  As they made their way through the back of the caravan park, Laura kept her hand on the bike’s handlebar, not touching Sam but close enough to feel his warmth. ‘I’m glad we met,’ she said, and felt an unfamiliar fizz of excitement bubbling inside her, but it took only the thought of her husband to make her emotions feel suddenly flat. What if Finn was right? Anna was a beautiful and interesting woman; if Sam saw anything in Laura, it was surely only pity. Fuelled by self-doubt, she decided she had been reading the situation completely wrong and tried to backtrack. ‘I mean, today … with the bike.’

  ‘Any time,’ Sam said, leaving the offer floating in the air ready for Laura to grasp and, whatever Sam’s motives, she felt comforted knowing it was there.

  The path that took them through the caravan park followed peaks and valleys in much the same way as the surrounding area, although on a much smaller scale. When Sam reached the brow of the last hill, he could see all the way to Pat’s caravan where Finn was leaning on the fence waiting for them. Laura still had her hand alongside Sam’s on the handlebar but quickly let go, dropping her head at the same time. The way she extended the distance between herself and Sam was another conscious move, albeit a little less obvious.

  ‘Looks like you’re the hero of the day,’ Finn said to Sam. ‘I was about to send out a search party for these two.’

  ‘I had a puncture just outside Mold,’ Laura explained. ‘I got back as quickly as I could.’

  ‘You shouldn’t have rushed on my account. Anna and I have been having a fine old time enjoying the peace and quiet.’