She-Wolf I

by Gaëlle Bonnassieux

  “Yeah, that happens,” I smiled before changing the topic. “Lola, Danny, do you guys wanna come running with me before we head back?”

  “I haven’t ran with a pack in ages, I’ll be there!” Danny cried while Lola nodded.

  “What about me? I didn’t think you’d be the one to have favorites, Maddie. Do I stink or something?” Bridget complained.

  “No, Bridget. You’re my favorite. I just thought that since you run faster than any of us, we didn’t want to lose against you,” I teased.

  “Pffff… Nice try. I’m still vexed,” she whined — she was smiling to prove that she wasn’t in the least pissed. “But you’re right though, I’m so fast I’d soundly beat you.”

  My protégés and I winked at her. After all the bickering of the afternoon, I thought that they’d enjoy some pack-time. So we left for the woods, which gave the others enough time to head back home calmly while we stretched our legs. I hadn't gone running in a while, which wasn’t a good thing. If I restrained the animal part of myself for too long, it would be hard for me to control it in my daily life. It was healthier to go running every other day and relinquish control over to my she-wolf from time to time. It would also help the teenagers to deal with their own anger crisis. They needed to express themselves one way or another. Words didn’t always do the trick. It soothed our minds to let our bodies decide every now and then.

  As soon as we got to the woods, I took my clothes off and turned. I roared with pleasure in my animal form, and started trotting around proudly, like a lioness in the savanna. Lola’s fiery fur, Danny’s sandy one and my motley brown one looked beautiful in the forest. We started running together. At first, it was more of a walk in the park until Lola sped up and it turned into an actual chase. I loved to run. It was freeing, and I loved that newly acquired freedom I’d built for myself. A part of me knew that we might bump into Ryan any time, but I didn’t mind. I wasn’t going to stop myself from living my life because of him. Let him come! He’d die sooner rather than later.

  In order to spice up our chase — Lola always won — I jumped on Danny and tackled him to the ground. He squirmed and tried to get away by nibbling my legs and growling, and I hit him with my paws — for fun. Lola jumped in as well and soon enough, it turned into a skirmish of fangs, and claws and fur. It was just a game, and if any of them bit a little too hard, I’d put them back on the right with a good punch. My she-wolf was a dominant, and they knew it. However, they were good fighters, full of zeal and willpower. They loved to fight, unlike me, and I was amazed to see how good Danny actually fought — like all male wolves, he’d been trained to fight, unlike Lola and I.

  I simply had the authority and the aura of a powerful wolf that they had to respect. It was enough, even though I could use the fighting skills. Danny and Johan could teach me a trick or two, it couldn’t hurt to be a fighter.

  It was time to stop fighting, and I growled to let them know we should probably head back. I trotted away, and felt the exhaustion of the day, which had been fun but backbreaking. Walking, bathing, looking after Colin, making sandcastles, running in the woods… It was a lot. I couldn’t wait to get back to my bed. Well, Johan’s actually. Considering how he felt, I guess he wouldn’t mind going to bed early as well. He truly felt tired, I sensed it. One whole day with Esthelle, it was worse than a marathon! She killed him.

  When I walked home an hour later, I had proof. Everyone was already there, and Johan was slouched on the couch, with thousands of bags around him. Esthelle was talking about her day, running about the room, in great shape. Well, at least she was pleased. I abandoned the kids to join my man. I tried not to think about the fact that a week ago, my grandma had died on that same couch, and I sat on Johan’s lap, who hugged me instantly. His face found its way towards my neck, and he just stayed there, nestled against me while I caressed his hair. “Did you have a good day?” I asked, smiling.

  “Great. I love to spend hours talking about the difference between boyfriend jeans, skinny jeans and mommy jeans. I can’t believe I’ve lived like twenty-seven years without knowing about those.”

  “You’re a pain! I’m sure it was fun to spend time with Esthelle. I sensed you were happy when you guys were surfing.”

  “Yeah, that was cool. It would have been better if you’d been there, but I guess you can’t have it all. What about you, did you have fun?”

  “Yes. Neat.”

  “Personally, I like my scotch on the rocks.” I took his face out of my neck so that he could see how desperately desperate I was when I heard that stupid joke. He smiled and kissed me. I’d missed his lips so badly! I put my hands around his neck and kissed him more fervently.

  “You looked nice in your swimsuit today, Maddie,” Milo said as he innocently walked by us before heading upstairs.

  I felt my soulmate’s body contract, and anger rose inside of him. His hands clung onto my hips, and I kissed him swiftly so that he might get over it. Nope, he wouldn’t. “I’m definitely going to kill him,” he said as his lips grazed my lips.

  “If he keeps on behaving like that, I’ll let you,” I muttered annoyingly — Milo was getting under my skin, and not in a good way.

  “As if I needed your permission…”

  I rolled my eyes at him and didn’t answer — it was pointless. Johan was already taking it on the chin, and I couldn’t ask too much of him. He was right, Milo was going too far, even though we’d talked about it. He was nice to me, normal. Why did he persist in being mean? Did he want Johan to lose it? He would eventually, and there would be nothing I could do for him.

  “So, did you find some colorful jumpers?”

  “Of course, babe. I even found some cheetah print speedos.”

  I burst into laughter, and in his eyes, I caught a glimpse of the love he felt for me. He was going to make me blush. I didn’t even want to argue about that damn nickname I came up with unfortunately.

  “I’d love to see you wearing those.”

  “And I’d love to see you wearing what I got you,” he answered, amused.

  “I’m scared.”

  “You should be.”

  I stuffed my face in his neck and he kissed my shoulder, smiling. He started caressing my hair and I sighed with pleasure. I just loved it. Probably a girl thing. Actually, Johan loved when I caressed his hair as well. When he saw that I liked it, he smiled, and did not stop. I snuggled up against him, and I gave into his touch. The more his hand roamed my hair, the more I wanted to sleep. “So you do have a weak spot,” Johan whispered pulling a lock of my hair.

  “Pfff….” I managed to answer.

  I allowed him to go for a little while longer before I endeavored to get up. It was hard because I was feeling dozy and tranquil, but I promised I’d make dinner. I kissed my man swiftly and went into the kitchen. After checking to see if I had everything I needed at my disposal, I attempted to make homemade hamburgers, and a chocolate cake for dessert. I’d appointed Colin as my sous-chef, which was rather fun. I encouraged him to place the steaks on the buns and to cover them with cheddar while Clemencia sliced the tomatoes, the onions and the lettuce. The cake had been harder to make because at first, I’d let Colin handle it under my watchful eye, but when I realized he’d poured the entire bag of flour into the batter — he’d also put the entire eggs inside, shells included — I sent him away to play with Danny while I made another dough. At least, I’d laughed about it, instead of being annoyed.

  I put the cake in the oven, and when I straightened up, I felt Johan’s hands on my stomach. “You’re sexy when you cook,” he whispered in my ear.

  “You guys are so cute!” Clemencia cried, scrubbing the countertop.

  I smiled back, and Johan helped me with the last of the hamburgers, and even set the table. Wow, that was amazing. I wasn’t used to men helping with the domestic chores. In my former pack, women were supposed to handle it all. Milo was very helpful in general, but Danny was more reluctant to help. I was still going to do all t
he dishes, but I’d been in charge of the meal, so it was only fair.

  “I’d clean the whole house with a toothbrush to top that shapeshifter,” Johan growled, kissing my neck.

  “I’d love to see you try scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush,” I laughed.

  “Dinner’s ready,” he screamed instead.

  Everyone rushed in — I expected no less from those hungry creatures. Adélie turned white when she saw that her kitchen was… less clean than it was supposed to. Oops. I was less house-proud than she was. “I didn’t know you’d be cooking tonight,” the witch told me, looking about the room.

  “I thought it might take some of the weight off your shoulders. I did my best to put everything back into its original place…”

  “Don’t worry, it’s okay,” she said reassuringly.

  “Don’t believe her, she’ll scrub the whole room with detergent as soon as we’re all to bed,” Esthelle betrayed.

  Her sister blushed and shook her head, and I smiled while handing everyone their plates? I wasn’t vexed, I knew Adélie had her own habits, and she liked things being done her way.

  “That’s delicious!” Danny raved taking a mouthful of his burger.

  “I did it!” Colin screamed, and it made us all laugh.

  I tousled his hair and sat once those carnivores had had their pittance. I always thought I’d never had any maternal instinct, but as I gazed at my friends eating, bickering, laughing, it felt as if my own family was sitting in front of me, and I felt proud, satisfied — the warmth in my heart proved it. I had this impulse to protect them, to make sure they were happy and content. Johan’s hand laid on my thigh as we ate, and I have to say I enjoyed it being there. I couldn’t stand him not touching me or being far away, so it was perfect. And surprise, the burgers did taste delicious.

  “That’s no surprise, you’re the world’s best cook,” Johan flattered me mentally — I couldn't believe him though, he was biased.

  The chocolate cake was even better, which was no surprise: chocolate was like coffee, no one could live without them. I was eating peacefully when Bridget decided it was time to be a pain — again — and put an end to that quiet, tranquil dinner.

  “So? Am I going to get in that pack or what?”

  I rolled my eyes and swallowed slowly while she started squabbling with the others. She had a knack for being a nuisance. Kind of like Esthelle. “Does everyone agree to Bridget joining the pack?” I asked with a sigh.

  I grabbed another piece of cake, because this discussion was not going to be a piece of cake. Milo, Lola, Clemencia and even Colin agreed. Oh, well that was unexpected. At least everyone seemed to like her, so that was great. I didn’t know how she’d managed to get everyone to like her though. With her being so whiny, it wouldn’t surprise me to hear that she’d bribed them into accepting.

  “It’s settled then. What about Daniel?”

  “There’s no need to ask that question,” Lola said, hitting his arm. “He’s already part of it.”

  “What about me then?” Esthelle asked. She was suddenly being stared at by all of us. Adélie choked on her pomegranate juice, and Colin had stopped talking too. I was waiting for her to laugh and say, “April Fool!” but it was summer. “What?” she said, annoyed. “I wanna be in it too, is it forbidden?”

  “Well…” I stuttered.

  “Esthelle!” Adélie exclaimed with amazement. “Where is this coming from?”

  Johan was stone-faced, but I sensed he was full of questions. He wasn’t against her joining, just… intrigued, and worried.

  “Adélie…” the witch sighed, facing her sister. “I know you won’t like it because of the coven and all, but Lola is my soulmate. Whether I’m part of the pack or not, I’ll always be part of her, so it seems obvious and logic I should join her pack. Besides, I love Maddie and I know her pack is a great one. It’s totally safe.”

  Lola turned beet red, but she seemed quite moved by that unexpected declaration. She grabbed Esthelle’s hand and intertwined their fingers together. I was glad they finally showed their relationship out in the open. They were happy, and it was all that mattered. It was rare to see them so physically close, and even though Johan was troubled, he was also pleased to see her adoptive sister being so comfortable around her soulmate.

  Adélie wasn’t expecting her sister’s request. Johan had briefly told me that they had to leave their coven, but he’d never told me why. Just the thought of being part of a group seemed to trouble the witch. Eventually, she nodded, yet I sensed she wasn’t very much at ease. “I understand. I also wanna be a part of the pack then.”

  “You don’t have to,” Esthelle protested.

  “I know. But you’re my sister. Together, always,” she smiled grazing the little witch’s cheek, who smiled from ear to ear.

  They embraced, and I welled up. Johan leaned towards me and kissed my cheek to make me smile, and it worked. Milo looked away, annoyed. Well, that’s life buddy. I kicked him under the table, and he started. He stared at me and smiled eventually too. Great, the bomb had been defused. I always win.

  “Very well then, does anyone disagree with the witches joining us?” I asked the whole party.

  “That depends. Could I give them a makeover?” Bridget joked — or at least I was hoping she was.

  No one disagreed, and when it was Lola’s turn to give her opinion, she grabbed Esthelle’s face and kissed her fervently in front of everyone. Their kiss ended under a round of applause, and Danny didn’t miss the opportunity to tease his favorite pal. “Here I thought I was your one true love…”

  “Never in a million years!” Lola rebuffed, and I couldn’t help smiling seeing them squabbling again.

  I turned towards Johan, instinctively. If the witches were to join the pack, it seemed obvious he should too, being my soulmate and all. He squirmed on his chair uncomfortably. Yep, I did see that coming. Every time I talked about the pack, he backed down. Something was upsetting him and just wouldn’t want to say what it was. He wouldn’t tell ME. I knew he didn’t want to join, and it broke my heart to face that simple truth. I didn’t understand why, and I deserved an explanation. I would respect his choice, but not without having all the variables of the equation at my disposal.

  “So? Does everyone agree to Johan being a part of our crazy ass pack?” Esthelle cried.

  “No, Esthelle, not everyone does so don’t push it,” he retorted. The witches looked at him dumbfounded

  . I took the opportunity to step in and said: “Johan, I’d love for you to show me the clothes you’ve bought. I think it’s perfect timing.”

  I didn’t even wait for his answer. I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the annex. I also took the clothes with me (he was in no condition to put those away) and focusing on something regular and mechanical helped me soothed my mind. Besides, if I was busy folding his new clothes into his closet, I wouldn’t have my claws to kill him. My soulmate didn’t seem pleased by what I’d just done, but he didn’t say a word, which meant he was not that angry. I managed to get down with the lot of them and threw the bags on the bed. I took a jumper out of them — it was black, with a blue pocket in the front. He’d made an effort!

  “Good choice!” I said before taking the price tag off and folding the jumper.

  “Mad’...”

  “What’s wrong with you?” I asked irritatingly — I didn’t like beating around the bush.

  I found these lovely blue jeans, and it cheered me up. I was glad he’d taken my opinion into consideration and made an effort. He sat on the bed and grabbed me by the waist so that I sat on his lap. I agreed to do it, but I looked daggers at him.

  “Do you really think two alphas can be in charge of a pack?” he said eventually with a sad voice.

  His question was unsettling, so I grabbed another piece of clothing. It was some sexy, red lingerie which was definitely not for Johan. I stuffed it back in the bag immediately — now wasn’t the time. He’d asked a question. I had to think ab
out it, and then answer. “I’m not sure I follow. You’re the one who advised me to create my own pack.”

  “Yes, because you deserved it and I knew you’d make a wonderful alpha,” he smiled. “But there can’t be two of us in a pack, and I refuse either to submit, or to get the upper hand over you.”

  “This is ridiculous.”

  “Mad’, think about it. What would happen if I gave someone an order you disagree with? What would happen if some of them are loyal to you, and others to me? A pack needs to be strong, and in unity there is strength. Having two alphas is unsettling.”

  I shook my head; I couldn’t actually believe he was saying those words. Shopping had to have melted his brain. I was sure there was more to it beneath this stupid little speech of his. There was something else. “Johan, my parents were two alphas, and there was nothing wrong within their pack. And if I’m not mistaken so were your parents. I don’t understand what the problem is. And if I disagree with one of your orders, I’ll just let you know. There will be no division. We’ll stand together, united, and if the others see that, they’ll respect our decisions. They’ll neither challenge your rule nor mine.”

  “I’m not like you,” he confessed. “You’re the perfect alpha. You always respect the boundaries, you don’t give useless orders. You don’t manipulate your kind, you don’t curb them. They have free will. That’s why you’re wonderful. And I’m not sure I can be that strong.” Here was the real problem. It was not that he feared we might argue with each other. He was simply afraid he wouldn’t cut the mustard. “And it’s not just that,” he went on. “I’m a loner. I’ve been packless, for years. I’m not sure I’d fit in. I don’t want to ruin everything you’ve built. I’m afraid to screw it up.”

  I framed his face with my hand and kissed him gently. He resisted, but the second kiss did the trick. His body was less tense, and he sighed with pleasure while kissing me back. Yeah, I was irresistible. That thought made him smile, and he kissed me with ardor. I let go of his lips and pressed my forehead against his. We looked deep into each other’s eyes. I caressed his cheek, and I saw in his look all his fears and concerns. What a man... I was lucky to have him, his smiles and his frenzies.