Alluring Turmoil

by Skye Turner

  He’s lying back. Boneless with his legs splayed open and his chest rapidly rising as he tries to catch his breath.

  I did that! Me. Yeah, take that Mr. ‘Sexy Rock God’!

  I climb up his body and snuggle between him and the back of the bench, laying my head on his chest, right above his galloping heartbeat.

  Jude

  I lay my hand over her head cradled on my chest and wait for my pulse to return to normal.

  Dear God. It’s too late. I’m never letting this woman go.

  She owns me.

  She always has…

  Chapter Twelve

  Lexi

  We lay in the gazebo, both of us naked from the waist down, just holding each other, until our bodies cool down and our pulses level out. Our legs are sticky from the sweat and the humidity, but it’s nice. I don’t want to move. I kiss Jude’s chest again and attempt to make some sense of the past twenty four hours.

  Jude is running his fingers through my hair and staring at the stars and full moon, visible though the open gazebo top. “Lex?” I feel his breath ruffle my hair as his soft words float across my skin. God, I love his voice. It’s like sex. Everything about him is so erotic.

  “Yeah?”

  He breathes deeply before speaking. “What’s going on here, Lex? What are we doing?” I feel his muscles clench.

  “I don’t know, Jude. What are we doing?”

  His hands tighten in my hair as he pulls my head back so that I’m looking at him.

  “I know what I want. I want to see what’s here. I want to be with you. I want to see if this time, we can make this work. But it’s not up to me. So you tell me what we’re doing, Lexi.”

  “I like this. I like whatever this is. But I’m scared. God, Jude. I want to be with you too.” My hands are shaking on his chest and tears start to fill my eyes, but I hold them in. This man has the power to destroy me and as much as I want him, as much as I want to just forget everything, I’m so scared. “Can’t we just… be? For now.”

  He sighs and leans down to kiss my eyes and the corner of my mouth. “Yes, Lex. Let’s just take it slow, ok? But we need to talk about what happened…”

  “No. No, Jude. We don’t. Let’s just start from here, ok? I don’t want old hurts and the past to jeopardize the here and now. So please, can we not talk about it and just… start fresh?!?!”

  Talking about the past is not ok with me. I cannot go back to that kind of pain. I pray he agrees with me.

  He grimaces. “I don’t know if that’s the wisest decision, Lex, but yes, if that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do. And I mean it; we’ll go slowly with each other, ok?”

  I smile at him and quirk an eyebrow. “We’re both naked from the waist down and your dick was just in my mouth. That’s taking it slow?!”

  He blushes, but responds with a smirk. “Of course! And I mean no sex for now… we can do all sorts of other fun things; but let’s get back to knowing each other a bit before I put you in a coma from sex with me.” His brows are wiggling and the mood is once again lightened.

  I roll my eyes and laugh. “No sex? You think you can handle that, Jude? And a coma… really?!?! Damn, Rock Star, there’s that ego again!”

  “Don’t hate. It comes with the territory.” He sticks his tongue out at me… like a little kid. “And yes, I can handle it. Can you? You’re the one sending ‘Fuck me. Fuck me now’ signals out. Don’t jump me!”

  “Oh my God, you’re delusional, Jude Delecroix!”

  “Nuh uh. Am not. You’ve been molesting me with your eyes and sending out those beacons since you saw me yesterday.” He touches his mouth. “Even when you split my lip last night, you were looking at me like you wanted to eat me!” He’s outright teasing me now.

  I kiss his lip, where I haven’t noticed until now is a little swollen. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I hit you. I’ve never hit anyone in my life. But I was mad. And in my defense, you baited me. But I am sorry.”

  I kiss his mouth again and lift my shoulders in a slightly embarrassed shrug.

  He chuckles. “I can’t believe you hit me either. It was unexpected… and oddly hot! But I did bait you. I had just watched you rubbing all over some guy who had his hands all over you on the dance floor. I was… well, I was jealous. Then your friend walked up and I just wanted to get a rise out of you. I didn’t mean any of what I said. I’m sorry, Lex.” He drops his eyes, looking really sheepish.

  I lift his head with my finger to capture his eyes again. “You’re forgiven. This time! You were jealous? Really? That. Is. Hot!” I punctuate each of the last words with a hard kiss on his mouth.

  He gives me a quick bruising kiss on the mouth and sits up, pulling me with him. “Yes, I was jealous. I don’t like it. But I do like that you think I’m hot. Now get your sexy ass up and get dressed! I need to get you home. It’s late and I know you have work tomorrow. And you really need to put some clothes on already. Knowing you’re naked is very distracting.” He swats my bare ass to emphasize his point.

  I lean over to kiss him one more time, looking into his eyes, and get up to find my clothes.

  Jude

  So Lexi and I are together. She’s agreed to see what’s here. I can’t believe this. There are things I wish we’d talked about, because the past has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass if you ignore it, but I’m willing to do whatever she wants to do. I just pray that this time, we are strong enough to make it.

  I can’t lose her again. I won’t.

  I watch her getting dressed and take in her beauty. I don’t know what it is about her, but Lexi is my muse. My Madonna. Sure she’s gorgeous. That flowing red hair and those amazing golden brown eyes, along with that curvy body… sheer perfection; but it’s more than that. It’s the little things that make her Lexi. The look she gives me when she’s calling me on my bullshit… The glint in her eyes when she sets her mind to something… The way she bites her lip when she’s nervous… She’s perfect… She’s just Lexi…

  I button my jeans and slip back into my boots as she zips her skirt and turns around to face me. The moon’s glow is at her back and it looks like she’s a mirage, a vision, an ethereal creature. Then, she smiles and holds her hand out. I snap out of my trance and reach for her hand, intertwining her fingers with mine.

  We hold hands as we grab our uneaten food and head back through the house, turning off lights as we go. I lock up my house, my house, and help Lexi onto the bike and we head towards her house in the dark.

  Lexi

  Jude pulls into my neighborhood and I wonder how he knows where Erik and I live. I haven’t told him. We’ve been silent and content for the fifteen minutes it’s taken to get from Jude’s house to mine. He pulls onto my street and pulls into my driveway, behind my car, before cutting the engine.

  Stepping off of the bike, he helps me up before removing our helmets and pulling me into his chest with his arms around me.

  “Jude, how did you know where I live? I didn’t tell you.” I ask.

  He looks away from me and at the cement of the driveway while he answers quietly. “I’ve known where you lived since you bought this house, Lex. I still know a lot of people who know you… I’ve kept up with what’s been going on in your life.”

  I gasp. I’m shocked. “You’ve kept up with me? All these years? Why???”

  He runs his thumb over my lips as he looks back at me. “Why do you think, Lex? Even when I hated you, I still had this need to know that you were ok. I never asked, but I was always told… and I savored that information.”

  “Oh, wow. I didn’t… I mean I never… Oh, wow.” I can’t form a thought at the moment and I don’t know what I’m thinking about this information, so I do the only thing I do know I want to do. I wrap my arms around his waist, stand up on my tiptoes, and kiss him.

  He meets my lips with his own and we kiss softly, sweetly, for a moment.

  I open my mouth and run my tongue over his lips, centering on the spot I spli
t last night with my fist. I gently run my tongue over the slight bump. He groans and opens his mouth and the kiss deepens.

  I don’t know how long we kiss, but it’s probably awhile. We’re both breathless when we finally break apart. I lay my head on his chest and ask, “Where are you staying?”

  “I don’t have furniture yet, and I didn’t know how long I was going to be looking for a house; so I have a suite at the Hilton Downtown.”

  “Stay here. Tonight I mean. Stay the night… here… with me.”

  He looks deep into my eyes and considers my offer. “Are you sure? No sex, remember? And what about Erik? He’s not going to like it.”

  I roll my eyes at him and poke him lightly in the chest. “Yes, I’m sure. I didn’t offer to have sex with you. I offered to let you sleep in my bed. It’s none of Erik’s business. I’m a grown woman and you’re a grown man. Besides, he’ll get over it. But my feet hurt and I need to shower, so are you coming in or not?”

  Smiling at me with something like adoration in his eyes, he replies, “Yes, Lex. I’m coming in with you. But I’m pretty dirty. Do I get a shower? And if Erik tries to murder me in my sleep, I’m counting on you to protect me!”

  Smirking I grab his hand and pull him towards the house. “Hell yes, you need to shower! You aren’t getting into my 1600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets like you are now! And yes, oh weak one, I shall protect you from the strong knight by shielding you with my delicate body if he tries to maim you.”

  He laughs out loud and slaps my ass. “You’re such a smartass! What am I going to do with you?”

  Jude

  I’m spending the night with Lexi. God, yes! I get to hold her in my arms all night. Maybe tonight I’ll finally sleep soundly. Eight years of insomnia is too damn long.

  The house is dark and quiet as Lexi unlocks the door and leads me through the living room. She flips off the lamps that Erik has left on for her, and we head down a hall to her bedroom.

  My shoulders relax as I realize I’ve escaped another confrontation with Erik. I know he and I need to talk and I need to let him know my intentions, but I’m really hoping it doesn’t come to blows.

  I’m a lover not a fighter, and as much as I do love and respect him, even after he abandoned me, I know when it comes to Lexi… I won’t back down.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lexi

  I lead Jude into my room, flip on the light, and close the door with my foot before kicking off my shoes. He’s been oddly quiet since we’ve come in. I hope he hasn’t changed his mind. I really want to sleep in his arms tonight.

  It’s been eight years since I’ve spent the night with a man. Well, other than Erik and that is strictly platonic, of course.

  Jude has one shoulder propped against my door and he’s looking around my room. Clearing my throat and swallowing to moisten my suddenly dry mouth, I attempt to speak.

  I can’t speak. I can’t do anything but stare at Jude. He’s so exquisite. And he’s here… in my house… in my room.

  His blond hair is a little longer than before and he wears it spiked now. The tips are now a lighter shade of purple, but I like it. I like it on him. It suits him.

  His eyebrows are two shades darker than his hair, making them more brown than blonde. His eyes are the same crystal clear hazel and I remember how they change depending on his mood and his clothing.

  He has more piercings in his ears than the single silver hoops I remember. There are two studs in his right ear and a silver hoop at the top, through the cartilage; while his left ear has two studs and a hoop. His nose is the same; perfectly straight with the sexy dip on the end. His jaw and chin have a perfect five o’clock shadow of the same brown as his brows, which bring attention to his pink lips. The top one has a perfect bow while the bottom is nice and full, perfect for kissing.

  His neck is strong; his shoulders are broad while his build is slim. His faded grey LSU t-shirt hugs his defined chest and tapered waist. His forearms, visible beneath the sleeves of his shirt, are now covered in full tattoo sleeves all the way to his wrists, whereas before he only had a couple of tattoos on each arm. It’s like a continuous piece of art on both arms.

  His jeans hang low on his narrow waist and hug his groin and thighs. The outline of his manhood is clearly visible, even when soft. His legs look like they continue on for a mile, until they meet his black-booted feet.

  He’s mouthwatering. And… he’s mine?

  I trail my gaze back up his body and my eyes meet his lust filled gaze. He’s just watched me undress him with my eyes. My gaze drops back to his groin and it’s obvious his cock is no longer flaccid. I swallow again and meet his gaze.

  “Like what you see, Lex?” he murmurs huskily.

  I have to swallow again to make sure I can speak. I nod my head. “Yes. Very much. You’re beautiful, Jude.”

  “Beautiful? I’m a man, baby. I’m not beautiful. You are beautiful. But I like that you like looking at me. I like the desire I see in your eyes and the desire I smell coming from you. No, I love that you seem as enraptured with me as I can’t help but be with you. But I meant it…. S… l… o… w… baby.”

  “You don’t want to fuck me, Jude?”

  “Of course I want to fuck you, Lex! I want to throw you on that bed,” he says, pointing at my bed, “and bury my throbbing dick in you. I want to slam into you balls deep over and over until you feel nothing but me… until you can’t think of anything but me. I want to make you scream my name as you cum, and then I want to fuck you again and again until you can’t walk and pass out from the intensity of my loving. But I won’t. Not right now. Not tonight. I will take you to bed, but when I do, I want it to be more than fucking. So much more. It is so much more. We’ll get there; but right now…” his teeth are clenched and he’s breathing in through his mouth and out of his nose, “Right now, we’re going to shower. And then you’re going to curl up in my arms and we’re going to go to sleep. We are not going to rush this, Lexi. This is more than sex between us and I want to take our time. We have plenty of time and I want to do it right. Okay?”

  My stomach clenches at his words. I feel lightheaded. He’s telling me I mean something to him. He’s telling me he cares and he wants to cherish me… if I wasn’t already in love with him before, I am now. He’s Jude… my Jude. My heart.

  I breathe deeply and take his hand. “Ok, Jude. We’re going to take it slow.”

  I open the door to my bathroom and turn on the light as we undress and get ready to shower…

  Together… Jude and I… Please God, give me strength.

  Jude

  Lexi and I are in her home. In her bathroom. We’re about to shower together. I crave the intimacy.

  She turns on the water to let it warm up, then turns towards me and shakes her hair out, running her fingers through it, trying to sort out the tangled waves. She’d pulled it back before she put my spare helmet on and the wind from the ride has it tangled.

  I watch her. Not touching, just taking everything in.

  She keeps her eyes locked on me and slowly starts to unbutton her shirt. As she gets to the last one, she pulls the shirt from her shoulders and lets it caress her arms as it slides down, before falling to the floor. Then, she bites her lip and unzips her skirt. I can hear the zipper as it slides down and once loose, she pushes it to the floor where it pools. She stands there in nothing but her pink lace bra with her breasts spilling out and the black lace Bayou Stix thong I gave her; her hair is falling around her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes are huge, luminous pools of amber.

  She’s a Goddess. No woman has ever looked as good in our panties. She could be our model, but then I’d have to kill everyone who saw her in them.

  “Like what you see, Jude?” she asks coyly, using my own words against me.

  “God, yes baby. You are so beautiful. So fucking beautiful.” I take two steps across the bathroom and I’m in front of her. “Turn around. Let me help you.”

  I wait for her
response.

  She turns around…presenting me with her back.

  I gather her hair in my hands and brush every piece of it over her shoulder, where I can see it cradling her breasts in the pink cups in the mirror. I can’t help it, I have to touch her. Kissing both shoulders and then her spine, I unclasp her bra slowly and watch her response in the bathroom mirror as I slowly inch her bra down her arms, exposing her breasts to the now steamy bathroom air.

  Watching our reflections, I reach around to cup her breasts in my palms and I notice the contrast in our skin. Her pale, milky skin against my darker olive complexion, it’s beautiful. Squeezing, flicking, and pinching her nipples, I place an open mouthed kiss on the back of her exposed neck. She shudders against me, moaning as she leans back into my chest. Her eyes are heavy and she’s watching my erotic play in the mirror.

  Pinching her nipples one more time, I trail my hands back down her stomach, over her waist, and hook my large hands into the sides of the black lace before gently pushing it down. They catch on the swell of her hips. I bend down, trailing my tongue down the center of her spine until I reach the dimples at the top of her ass. I nip each dimple before laving it with my tongue to soothe the area.

  She’s breathing so hard she’s panting. Leaving the top of her ass alone, my lips trail over her sweet cheeks, and I find the top of the thong with my mouth. Using my teeth, I bite the lace and pull them the rest of the way down. My nose brushes against her sex.

  Her smell is so intoxicating. My head is spinning. I look up at her and she’s looking down at me with so much want in her eyes. She’s completely exposed to my view. Finally naked in front of me… again. Thank you God! She’s so provocative.

  I grin and stand up straight, before kicking off my boots and reaching for the snap of my jeans.

  She’s just staring at me in a daze of unfulfilled lust.