SAVAGE LOVE (A Back Down Devil MC Romance Novel)

by Casey, London

  Miller laughed. “You’re sick, man. Really sick.”

  “I’m used to it.”

  “But you have a heart. I trust you, Blaine.”

  “You almost shot me, Miller.”

  “I couldn’t hear it anymore. The second we start doubting each other, it’s over. That’s what Jerry wants. That’s his game. I’ve watched his game for years.”

  “And his wife, right?”

  “Look, I know it’s a lot to ask, but Ella is here. The kid is here. It’s done. They’re not leaving. They mean…”

  Miller shook his head.

  “Hey, I get it,” Blaine said. “Free pussy. Big tits full of milk. A nice little history to warm your cock up.”

  “It’s not that,” Miller said.

  “Jesus. You still love her.”

  “Why don’t you go out there and enjoy the rest of your night.”

  “I wanted to tell you something. When I started to take care of that guy, he looked me dead in the eyes and said Jerry was coming. That he’s going to get us one by one.”

  “Yeah?”

  Blaine nodded. “It was just intense. The guy’s gushing blood from his throat and he’s saying that to me. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

  “Let it go. It’s tough talk.”

  “You don’t think he’ll hire outside or something, do you?” Blaine asked. “I mean, have someone real nasty come in and start attacking us?”

  “Blaine,” Miller said. “We’ll fight together. We’ll die together. This clubhouse is safe and will remain safe. When we need to ride, we do it smart. Jerry will only push so far. He knows the power we have.”

  “Okay, brother,” Blaine said. “Okay. I feel better now. My cock is twitching a little. Ready to go on the hunt.”

  Miller shook his head and pointed to the door. “Go. Hunt. Fuck. Whatever.”

  A little bit after Blaine left, Miller did too. The clubhouse was in full swing. But each time one of the guys looked at Miller, he could feel it. There was worry in the air. Doubt flirting with their minds. Rightfully so. The entire MC was at risk. Going against the entire Frelen PD was dangerous. One call for bigger help and the MC would be on the run.

  That’s not going to fucking happen, Miller told himself.

  Back Down Devil lived in Frelen and would remain in Frelen. No matter what. The war would rage, maybe subside, but then a new enemy would show its face.

  As far as the empty seat went, to Miller it was a no-brainer who he had to call. And he knew the guy would be crazy enough to come to Frelen and sit in the chair and contribute. The leather cut and club was like a tattoo. A symbol of love and loyalty, something that had a story. But the outlaw life, the biker desire, that came from deep within the heart. Knowing it was right to be wrong, it was okay to fight back against a justice you didn’t agree with. It took balls and it was sometimes a lonely road.

  Miller stopped at the door to his room. He told the two prospects at the door to fuck off.

  Sometimes, it wasn’t lonely.

  He opened the door and froze when he saw Ella.

  She was fast asleep. She had put her shirt and bra back on. And now she wasn’t alone in the bed. Beck next to her, sleeping on his side. Ella had an arm on the other side of the baby, her mother instinct working hard to make sure the little guy didn’t get hurt during the course of the night.

  Miller approached the bed and felt a wicked pain shoot through his heart. He made fists and thought for a second he was having a damn heart attack. But it wasn’t a heart attack, not even close.

  He felt like he could cry.

  This should be my life.

  If that goddamn night hadn’t gotten all fucked up. If the truth hadn’t reared its ugly face and thrown Miller into a wall and left him with no real good choice except to take his heart out of it and help to push Ella in the right direction.

  Little did she know, she was sleeping just feet away from a diamond ring that was supposed to be put on her fucking finger that night. Instead, she ended up tongue fucking Jerry and the rest had become history.

  Only now the history was right there in his bed. Her body lingering with the scent of their sex. But all that didn’t matter because of the baby on her side, wearing a dark blue one piece pajama set. There were little monkeys and bananas all over the pajamas.

  “Cute,” Miller whispered.

  He walked to the alcove and grabbed the sleeping bag. He quietly rolled it up and put it on the other side of the bed. Adding a few pillows, Miller made it so if Beck did try and roll anywhere, he wouldn’t fall off the bed and hurt himself.

  Then Miller reached down and touched the baby’s warm head.

  What a horrible feeling racing through his body.

  I’m going to kill your father. Because if I don’t, he’s going to kill you. He’s going to kill your mama. He’s a bad guy. But you’re not going to be a bad guy, kid. No way in hell. I’ll make damn sure of that.

  Miller felt his throat tighten. He shut his eyes, blocking fucking tears.

  Fucking tears.

  Miller hadn’t even cried when Griffin was killed.

  He sucked in a breath and took his hand from the baby. He walked to the other side of the bed and pulled on the covers, making sure Ella was tucked in. Leaning down, Miller stuck his nose to her hair and smelled.

  Fucking Ella. My fucking Ella.

  He pulled away, resisting the urge to kiss her cheek.

  He went to the closet and quietly found the cot and grabbed himself a blanket and pillow. Leaving the small light on on the nightstand, Miller left the room and set up shop right at the door, as promised. He put his gun under the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. Through the hallway he could hear the echoing sound of the clubhouse still partying. A piece of him wanted to go out there and just get annihilated drunk. Then he could wake up next to some reliever and swim in that pool of guilt.

  Better yet, Miller would find a way to safely move Ella and Beck. Get them out of the state to hide somewhere until the storm blew over. Maybe she had some family.

  Yeah, right.

  Miller knew about her family. She was goddamn alone.

  “Not anymore, darling,” Miller whispered.

  He shut his eyes and pictured Ella sitting on his motorcycle, topless, biting her lip. Ready for him. Begging for him.

  He warned her then about tempting his biker heart… and he’d do it again if he had to. But it was already too late, wasn’t it?

  twelve.

  Ella opened her eyes and saw Beck smiling at her. He had a handful of her hair and pulled it to his mouth, chomping on his own fingers as he bit her hair. Smiling big, Ella inched forward and kissed Beck until he let out a shrieking giggle. She pulled her hair away from his small, exploring grip and then dangled it in front of him.

  “What are you doing?” she asked. “Huh? Tell me. Tell Mommy.”

  Beck’s eyes went wide. He let out a oohh sound.

  “You like my hair? Do you want long hair?”

  Beck gurgled and waved his hands.

  “Maybe your own little leather cut,” Ella said and laughed at herself.

  She rolled to her back and let out a breath. She couldn’t remember the last time waking up in such a good mood. There was no good reason to be in a good mood either. She was in danger. Beck could be in danger. But what happened with Miller?

  Whew.

  Ella ran a hand across her forehead. She was getting heated just thinking about it. His commanding strength and touch. Carrying her to the bed. Turning her around.

  She had needed that so fucking bad.

  Ella pushed herself up and sat there. She noticed the collection of sleeping bag and pillows next to Beck.

  Had Miller done that?

  Ella grinned.

  She got out of the bed and checked for evidence of Miller.

  There was none.

  Where did he sleep then?

  Wherever the hell he wanted. He was the President. He could be with anyone.
Anytime.

  Beck let out a whine.

  Ella set her attention to the baby and lifted him up. She bounced him and kissed his slobbery mouth, making loud noises. He grabbed at her cheeks, his little nails scratching at her, making a gurgling noise as he laughed.

  “Come on,” she whispered. “Let’s go for a walk.”

  Ella opened the door and almost tripped.

  There was a cot there. Nobody was inside it though. A blanket was thrown off it, as though someone had been there.

  Miller had been telling the truth. He had slept there.

  “Oh, Miller,” Ella whispered.

  “M…m…” Beck said.

  Ella walked down the hall. Her eyes were laser focused, wanting to find Miller. Just to make sure he was okay. And maybe to find out where he was. Oh, and to talk about the mind blowing sex. Because that could never happen again. They had to set boundaries. Things could go back. It just wasn’t the same right now.

  Slowly creeping toward the bar, Ella poked her head around. There was a handful of people sitting around the large open area.

  A young guy behind the bar saw her. He threw a towel over his shoulder. “Morning. Let me get you something to eat and drink. Coffee? OJ?”

  “Coffee, please.”

  “Food?”

  “Not yet. I think.”

  “Okay,” the guy said with a smile. His leather cut was completely blank. That meant one thing. Prospect. “What about the baby there? What does he take? A shot of whiskey in the morning?”

  Ella laughed. “Maybe a week ago when he was teething. But right now, he’s okay. Thank you.”

  “Sure thing, ma’am.”

  “You don’t have to call…”

  The prospect disappeared.

  He returned with a coffee for Ella. He then put the towel in front of his face and dropped it, making a face at Beck. The first two times, Beck wasn’t sure what to do. But the third time the humor set in and Beck smiled big.

  “Ah, he’s cute as hell.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Okay, leave her alone. She’s got a kid already. And you don’t even have a patch.”

  Ella saw two women approach the bar and sit down.

  Oh, no. Fuck no. Not club whores…

  “Don’t mind us,” one said.

  “I love babies,” the other said.

  The first put a hand out to touch Beck and Ella pulled away. “I’m… sorry…”

  “Don’t be. You don’t know where I’ve been.”

  “Well, yeah. I mean, without sounding rude…”

  “I’m Emily,” she said. “I’m with Gaige. It’s okay, I promise. I wouldn’t let any reliever come within ten feet of my baby.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry. I should have known.”

  “And I’m Mia,” the other woman said. “I’m with Nate. I’m kind of new to all this.”

  “I’ve been around long enough,” Emily said. “It’s all background noise to me.”

  Ella smiled.

  You both have no idea how long I’ve been around this.

  “This is Beck,” Ella said.

  “Oh, what a perfect name,” Emily said. “Look at him.”

  Beck smiled, loving the women and loving the attention.

  “I’m not into the whole kid thing,” Mia said. “I love babies because they’re just innocent and cute. Do you need anything? I mean, we know you kind of came here last night. Is there anything we can get you?”

  “No,” Ella said. “I think I’m okay. I have everything. Or at least everything I could grab at the last second.”

  “I’m sorry,” Emily said. “For whatever happened. Especially with a baby.”

  Ella nodded. It was almost refreshing to have other women near her. And they were part of the club. They were able to deal with everything that happened. All the violence and bad stuff. Maybe, even for a second, it gave Ella a sense of hope.

  Casually, she looked around the clubhouse and then asked, “Do you know where Miller is?”

  “No,” Mia said. “We try to stay out of the club stuff if we can.”

  “It’s easier to just go with the flow of everything,” Emily added.

  “I see that,” Ella said.

  She finished her coffee and ate a small breakfast. Talking with Emily and Mia was beyond refreshing by then; it was comforting. They were real, honest, and they understood everything Ella felt. Even still, they didn’t realize Ella had a history with Back Down Devil MC that went far and deep.

  The clubhouse started to come to life a little as Ella ate. More guys appeared, most of them looking for a glass of water, some pain meds, some of them going straight back to where they left off, ordering a beer or even a shot of booze. They all seemed to have something to do though. That was always something that fascinated Ella about the MC life - they partied so hard but they woke up with a purpose and a plan. They all knew that it wasn’t just an image to look cool and sexy with a motorcycle and a leather cut. All their lives were at stake, all the time, no matter what.

  Ella couldn’t help but watch all the guys come and go. And she would have stayed right there at the bar until Miller came back if it wasn’t for Beck starting to punch and whine.

  “It’s okay,” Ella said and bounced Beck on her lap.

  “I’ll hold him,” Emily offered, “if you don’t mind.”

  “Oh, sure,” Ella said.

  Emily took Beck and sat him on the bar. “Look at those eyes. They can say whatever they want about blue eyes, but these brown eyes are going to break a lot of hearts.”

  Beck let out a goo sound and waved his hands.

  “See?” Emily said. “He knows already.”

  “He’s definitely cute,” Mia said.

  “Thank you both,” Ella said. “He’s special.”

  Emily kept talking to Beck, making noises with him, making him giggle and yell. Then Beck leaned forward, clawing at Emily’s cheeks.

  “He wants a kiss,” Emily said with a big smile.

  Beck moved down, his mouth hitting Emily’s chin. He then let out a whine and Ella stood up. Before Ella could say a word, Beck’s right hand grabbed at Emily’s breast. His mouth opened and he made noises, trying to get to Emily’s chest.

  “I think he’s hungry,” Ella said. “Sorry.”

  Emily laughed. “Not the first guy to grab my chest at a bar. I won’t tell Gaige though.”

  “I bet he could kick Gaige’s butt,” Mia said with a grin.

  “I’ll take him somewhere and feed him,” Ella said.

  Emily lifted Beck to Ella. “Sorry, Beck. Nothing coming out of my mine.”

  Ella laughed at that. She took Beck and turned him around. “Let’s get you some breakfast.”

  “Mind if we tag along?” Emily asked. “If you need any help…”

  “Oh, I’m fine. But, yeah, sure, you can come with me. I’m just going to Miller’s room I guess. I’m not going to whip my boob out here in the middle of the bar.”

  They then all walked back to Miller’s room. Ella secretly hoped Miller would be there waiting for her. He’d then order Emily and Mia away. Then they could be alone and talk. There was so much lingering from last night and it went far beyond the hot sex.

  When they got to Miller’s room, it was exactly how Ella had left it, the cot outside the door and everything. Inside, Emily and Mia kept their distance as Ella sat on the edge of the bed and set herself up to feed Beck. To her it was all routine. But when she caught Emily and Mia staring with wide eyes, she remembered that not everyone experienced this.

  Beck quickly became comfortable and he ate.

  “You look like you want to ask me a hundred questions,” Ella said.

  “I don’t know,” Mia said. “I’m amazed.”

  “Does it hurt?” Emily asked.

  “It does a little now that he’s teething,” Ella said.

  “How long do you do it for?” Mia asked.

  “Until he’s full.”

  “I meant… his age
…”

  “Oh,” Ella said. “I don’t know. I think I have bigger problems right now.”

  “Yeah, true,” Mia said.

  “Can I help with anything?” Emily asked. “I feel like a creep standing here, looking.”

  “It’s okay,” Ella said with a smile. “I’m used to being alone so much this is a nice change.”

  “I don’t think anyone is ever alone around here,” Mia said. “The guys love their women and aren’t afraid to take hold. Trust me.”

  Love their women.

  “Well, with me and Miller, it’s different. There’s a past there.”

  “Hey, Nate caught me following him,” Mia said. “I was held captive in a room. Nate was my guard. And we ended up…”

  “My best friend was killed the night I met Gaige,” Emily said. “There is some crazy stuff that goes on around here all the time.”

  Beck made a noise and Ella welcomed the distraction. She didn’t need to walk down memory lane with these women. Because she didn’t feel like talking about herself and Miller.

  After burping the baby, Ella offered Beck some more milk and he was more than happy to indulge.

  “Hungry this morning,” Ella said, staring down at Beck.

  She smiled, forgetting for a few seconds that she wasn’t alone in the room. Reality was a cruel friend to have sometimes, especially right then when Ella reminded herself of the hell she had stepped into.

  Beck continued to feed and Ella looked at Emily and Mia, wanting to say something to them. Before she could muster up something to say, the door exploded open.

  “Miller, brother…”

  It was Blaine.

  He stood with the door opened and made the connection of what was happening.

  To Ella, any half decent human would apologize and shut the door. Any asshole would at least look away or shield their face. But this was Blaine. And while Ella didn’t know much about him, she sat there, a baby to her breast, and watched as Blaine stared and then a few seconds later licked his lips.

  “Do you mind?” Ella finally asked.

  “Jesus Christ, not at all,” Blaine said. “Am I next?”

  “Are you kidding me?” Emily yelled. She rushed to the bed and grabbed a blanket.

  Ella turned and Emily put the blanket to her shoulders, shielding Ella.

  “Whoa, whoa, I’m sorry,” Blaine said. “I just… I mean… damn… tits… milk…”