Cowboy Creed (Cooper's Hawke Landing Book 1)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  “That’s the letter you left in my truck?” He had to force the words through thin lips.

  She nodded. “I did wait. For hours. You didn’t come. But Melody did.”

  “I didn’t know.” The words came out with a raspy exhale.

  “I didn’t know that at the time.” She picked up the bucket and brushed passed him. Halfway across the pen she stopped and turned, tears streaming down her face. “I thought you had made your decision. I was scared, heartbroken, and unsure of raising a child alone.”

  “Where does Branch come into this picture?” he asked angrily.

  “I met him later.”

  “How wonderful for him,” he growled.

  “I called you. Three years later. Twice in fact. Left you messages and again you didn’t respond.”

  “I was doing a tour in Kosovo. We didn’t have access to phones, no outside communication for months.”

  “Did you not get my messages?” She lifted a brow.

  He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I did, but I ignored them.”

  “So you decided you didn’t want to return my call?”

  “I was angry. Hurt. I didn’t want to be friends. If I’d known about Jane—”

  “Would you have reached out? Came to California? What Creed?” The tears had dried and there was a new desperation to her voice.

  “I would have been her father. I am her father. Does she know about me?” The breeze swept across them and it felt cold on his skin.

  “We never kept it a secret that Branch wasn’t her biological father. I spoke of you. She’s never asked to see you—has no clue you live here in Cooper’s Hawk. I’ve always allowed her to take the lead, Creed. If she wanted to see you I, and Branch, would have allowed that to happen.”

  A solid punch came in the center of his gut. He had a daughter. Another daughter. Two children. His heart sank. Time with his oldest daughter had been stolen from him. Anger, sadness, uncertainty boiled up inside him. “But maybe I wanted to see her,” he said quietly. “Apparently you, or Branch, didn’t think of that.”

  “I understand—”

  “No you don’t.” He jerked off his hat and tore a hand though his hair. “What if the circumstances were switched, Mindy? What if I kept our child a secret? Wouldn’t you have expected me to continue to try to tell you about her? To try all options?”

  “Creed, I didn’t deliberately keep her to myself. I did reach out. Looking back it’s easy to say what’s right or wrong, of what should have been done. I was eighteen years old and pregnant. I was scared. Coming home to Sage Ranch wasn’t an option because I couldn’t raise our child here with the chance of running into you and knowing you didn’t want us.”

  “I did want you…and I would have wanted my child.”

  “Is that right? If you wanted me why didn’t you pick up the phone? Come to see me? Instead, you jumped into the bed of the first woman who looked your way.”

  “You can’t throw Mel up in my face. I thought we were through,” he gritted out.

  “And I thought we were through too.”

  “Not good enough. We’re talking about a child.”

  “I do understand that you’re upset—”

  “Upset? I don’t know what to feel. No, I know how to feel. Betrayed.”

  “Don’t you think I’ve been saddled with guilt all these years? Do you think this was the choice I wanted to make?”

  “You knew me, Mindy. Better than anyone. Do you honestly believe in your heart of hearts that I would walk away from my child?” He could barely see straight.

  A good ten second hesitation passed until she finally said, “No, I don’t think you would. After seeing you with Livvy and how good you are with her, I can say that now with one hundred percent faith, but nineteen years ago you were a different man—a good man, but different. You know you were too. You had dreams that didn’t include a wife and child.” She took the distance between them and reached out, but he pulled away. “I’m sorry, Creed.”

  “If you really are sorry why didn’t you tell me when you first came back weeks ago? How could you let me get close to you again while keeping this secret?” The betrayal grew like a boulder in his chest.

  “I did plan on telling you. I would have told you. I wanted to tell you. It just seemed there was never the right time.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. You don’t get to pick and choose when you tell a man he has a daughter.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I can’t be near you right now. I can’t be trusted what I’ll say.” He stormed passed her.

  “Creed? What will you do now? Jane is here.”

  He stopped, feeling like he’d been blasted with ice cold water. “She’s here?” He kept his back to Mindy, not wanting to lose it in front of her.

  “Yes. I want you to meet her. I want her to know you and Livvy.”

  “I don’t know,” he said in a whispered voice. He didn’t think she heard him, until she answered.

  “I realize you need some time to wrap your head around this. What about us? Can you forgive me?” There was a pleading lilt to her voice.

  “I don’t think that’ll ever be possible.”

  Practically taking the gate off the hinges, he barreled through and kept his gaze ahead on the stretch of grass. At his truck, he looked at the quiet house, feeling tears at the backs of his eyes. Knowing he had another daughter changed everything. Not just for him but for Livvy too. How would he tell his daughter she had a sister? Would Livvy blame him? Despise him more?

  Jumping into the driver’s side of his truck, he turned the key and the engine roared alive. He wasted no time in slamming the gear into reverse, pulling out and taking the narrow lane too fast but not caring. He sped out onto the main road and pounded his palm twice against the steering wheel. How was a man supposed to feel in a situation like this? He had an adult daughter—a stranger for a daughter.

  Anger pierced his heart, but the hurt, betrayal, sadness, and torment lingering in his chest almost made him feel like he had reached the depths of hell.

  He wasn’t an award-winning father by far, but he loved and cared for Livvy. Took care of her. Protected her.

  His daughter Jane had grown up without him. Another man had been all those things for her, and from what Mindy had told Creed, Branch had cared more for his career than his family. This choked Creed up. He wanted to hate Mindy, rip every memory of her out of his heart and mind, but he’d been such an arrogant ass. She had been right when she said he’d had big dreams that didn’t include a family. Hell, he knew Melody had been callous and bitter and yet he’d married her. That showed where he’d been emotionally.

  He rolled down the window, filling his lungs with fresh air.

  He wanted to punch something.

  By the time he reached the farm, his anger had been fueled with more emotion.

  Then he saw Melody’s luggage sitting on the porch.

  The second he stepped into the house he heard raised voices coming from upstairs. He took the stairs two at a time and walked into World War Three happening in Livvy’s bedroom.

  Melody was dropping clothes into a suitcase while Livvy stood by her desk, arms crossed and her eyes red.

  “What’s going on?” he asked from the open doorway.

  “She’s angry,” Melody said without looking at him.

  Blowing out a long breath, he stepped inside. “Livvy? What’s wrong?”

  No answer, she just stared at the wall.

  He looked at his ex for some answers. “Melody?”

  “Don’t look at me like that,” she muttered. “You’ve raised her to be spoiled.”

  Creed took a second to gain his bearings before saying, “You’ve been here for less than twenty-four hours and you’ve already wreaked havoc.”

  She lifted her chin high, wearing a cold grin. “Oh, I’m gathering you spoke to Mindy then? While you were off taking care of that situation you needed to be here taking care of your daughter,” she slurred.


  He chose not to fall into that dirty web. “Why is Livvy upset?” He could only deal with one problem at a time and right now Livvy needed him. He had never seen her this quiet.

  “I told her that I’m leaving,” Melody confessed then slammed the lid to the suitcase.

  He looked over at Livvy, understanding her anguish. People came and went, and sometimes it broke a person’s heart. He’d had his broken a time or two. He’d known this would happen, just didn’t expect it to be so soon. “Why are you leaving now?”

  “I received a call from my agent this morning. He has managed to secure a role for me in an upcoming made-for-television movie.” Her eyes twinkled in pride, and arrogance. “I booked a flight for early this afternoon.”

  Creed swiped both hands down his face then turned to his daughter. “Livvy? Let’s talk.”

  “Go away!” she said softly.

  “Sweetheart, please. You still have a few hours until your mom leaves. Maybe you two can go for breakfast.”

  “I gave her that option.”

  “You lied!” Livvy turned her heated gaze on Melody. “You said you’d stay for a while. You even told me last night that you’d talk to dad about you and me going on vacation together.” Livvy’s shaky voice told Creed she’d been crying hard.

  “I wasn’t referring to this moment.” Melody intentionally didn’t look at Creed. “Honey, you have to understand that I can’t refuse work. It’s my career, just as one day you’ll have a career that you’ll have to dedicate yourself to.”

  She was met with silence.

  “She gets this from you, you know,” Melody whispered, rolling her eyes.

  He shifted from one dirty boot to another. “Is that what you think? Why did you make all those promises when you knew you wouldn’t keep them?”

  “Don’t blame me. I didn’t know my agent would score a role for me. What? Am I supposed to refuse work and stay here? In Cooper’s Hawk?” She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Livvy, if you don’t stop this behavior at once I’m leaving now.”

  No response.

  “Fine! I’m leaving.” Melody turned, grabbed her small suitcase and sashayed her way down the hall.

  “Please leave my room!” Livvy said to Creed.

  He sighed and stepped into the hall and headed for the stairs when he heard the bedroom door slam shut behind him. Taking the stairs, he practically knocked the screen door off the hinges on his way through it. He knew this would happen. Melody was a human tornado who swept in, wreaked havoc, then left a mess for others to clean up. That had always been her deal.

  On the porch, he leaned his elbows on the rail and looked out into the distance. Creed had never been a sentimental man but having a daughter had helped him connect with the compassionate and understanding parts within himself.

  Lowering his gaze, he watched a bird grab a worm and take off in flight.

  He had his own worms to carry.

  He’d listened to Mindy’s voice messages when he got home from Kosovo. Stubborn and prideful, he’d erased them. He’d been angry, but mostly he’d been hurt. And now, all those emotions were tenfold. Jane was in Cooper’s Hawk. He wanted to see her, but what would he say? Would she want to see him? Would she be willing to have a conversation with him?

  Emotion bubbled up inside of his throat and he couldn’t push it down.

  So many lives were affected by the secret.

  He had to take accountability for his own actions though.

  Hearing the screen door screech, he looked over his shoulder to see Melody stepping out, opening a water bottle. When she saw him, she blew a tendril of hair off her face. “That child is out of control.”

  “She’s not out of control. She’s a teen.”

  “Whatever. It’s just like you to excuse her behavior.”

  “Do you blame her for acting out?”

  “Don’t start with me, Creed. Let’s not rehash that same argument we had the first time I left.”

  He narrowed his gaze, pushed off the rail and faced her. “No worries. We were at an entirely different time then.”

  “Why are you still looking at me like that?” She puffed out her bottom lip.

  “I think you understand why without me saying the words.”

  “Come on, you should be thanking me. Mindy would never have told you the truth.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not, but you always did enjoy stirring up trouble, didn’t you?”

  “This has as much to do with me as it does you. I don’t want Livvy to be hurt.”

  “Really? You say that as you leave her sitting in her room licking her wounds,” he growled.

  “Oh there it is. The perfect Creed. Let me guess, you want a medal because you stuck around. We both know if you’d stayed on the rodeo circuit you would have just as easily left Livvy with me. Why is it when men leave for a career, they’re respected and admired but when a woman follows her career we’re made to look like monsters?”

  “No one has ever made you out to be a monster, Mel. But you have a teen daughter who is going through something. She needs a mother. At least a part time mother. I’ve never asked you to give up your career.”

  “Well, it looks like Mindy will be filling that void soon enough.” She set the water bottle down on the rail.

  “Don’t pretend innocence. You did what you came to do. How’d you find out Mindy was here?” he prodded.

  She lowered her eyes a mere second then looked back up, her blank expression back into place. “Livvy told me you and Mindy were seeing each other.”

  “So you didn’t come for Livvy, did you? When we were on the phone and I asked about the letter you guessed Mindy was back.” He chuckled coldly. “That’s just wonderful.”

  “Nonsense. I came for our daughter. I just needed to see it with my own eyes.” Something flickered in her expression. Something close to human kindness. “I think Mindy would make a good mother.”

  Creed lifted a brow. “Huh? Sorry, I’m lost. Did you just compliment Mindy?”

  “Don’t push it. You heard what I said. I’ll never be the mother that Livvy needs and she certainly needs someone to keep her occupied.”

  So her intentions weren’t entirely altruistic. “Livvy isn’t a dog, Mel. She’s a teen who has feelings.”

  “Of course. Anyway, I called a car to take me to the airport and it should be here soon.”

  “You already knew you wouldn’t be sticking around until this afternoon?”

  “Oh please! Stop being so judgy.”

  “You’d think I would have learned my lesson about you,” he growled. “You’re right, Livvy needs much more than you can offer.”

  “Whatever. At least I can admit it.” She shrugged and lost some of the sneer. Reaching into her purse she took out an envelope. “This is a little late, but I think it’s time you read it.”

  He saw his name written across the front. Taking the envelope, he shook his head.

  “You know what that is?”

  “Why, Mel?”

  She gave a small shrug. “You were mine, Creed Hawke, and I wanted to keep my cowboy.”

  “But how could you be so evil to keep my daughter from me?”

  “I’m a lot of things, but I wouldn’t have been that cruel. If it makes any difference, I didn’t read the letter. I had been watching Mindy when she came back to town and I saw her put the letter in the truck. When she left, I took it. I wanted to read what she’d written, but I didn’t. I followed her to the ice rink, and I was going to give the letter back to her, but I was angry.”

  He stared down at his name. The envelope was sealed. He heard tires on rock and looked up as the black Escalade pulled in front of the house.

  “Mel? What about the text messages Mindy said I sent you, telling you I no longer wanted her?” It was time he knew all the truth.

  “Who leaves their phone in their vehicle? You made it too easy.” She sighed.

  He couldn’t find words to respond.

  “Creed, I know I’m the la
st person you want to take advice from, but if it’s worth anything, don’t waste another nineteen years living in a memory. You’ve always loved her, and I’d bet my next role that she loves you too.” She gave him a weak smile.

  The driver stepped out of the Escalade. “Ma’am, can I help with your bags?”

  “Yes. Come get them.”

  Melody didn’t look back as she climbed into the back seat of the SUV.

  Creed stood there for the longest time. So, this was the letter.

  He folded it and shoved it into his back pocket for later.

  Going back inside, he took the stairs two at a time, and knocked on Livvy’s door. He felt relieved when she called out, “It’s unlocked.”

  Stepping in, he found her sitting on the edge of the bed. Her face was pale and her eyes were red rimmed. “You okay?” he asked.

  “Did she leave?”

  He nodded and took a seat next to her. “She’s gone.”

  “I hate her.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “Yes I do.”

  “She’s still your mother.”

  “Barely.”

  What could he say? “She wanted me to tell you that she loves you dearly.” He lied. But some lies were needed to make someone feel better.

  Livvy looked up at him with a hurt gaze. “You’re just telling me that.” She was a smart kid.

  “Not everyone lives up to our expectations, Liv. At times the dream is a lot better than reality.”

  Livvy rubbed the back of her hand across her nose. “Dad, I need to tell you something.”

  “What?”

  “I heard what Mom said to you last night. What did she mean?”

  He swallowed hard. “You know it’s not right to eavesdrop.”

  “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t, but she woke me up getting out of bed.”

  “There are a lot of things you wouldn’t understand—”

  “Stop treating me like a baby. I have a right to know the truth.”

  He realized he couldn’t ask for honestly from someone else if he wasn’t willing to give it. “You know I’ve told you that Mindy and I were once very close. I loved her, dearly. I found out that Mindy’s daughter, Jane, is my daughter too.”

  Livvy’s gaze narrowed. Her mouth slipped open and she slammed it shut. Several seconds floated by. “That means I have a sister?”