Cowboy Creed (Cooper's Hawke Landing Book 1)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  “Does she want to meet me?”

  “Honey, I don’t know. I’m not sure she even wants to meet me. This is all new to me too.”

  “But if you and Mindy get married, we can all be a family.” Her eyes twinkled with a vulnerability that struck Creed with the velocity of a lightning bolt.

  He didn’t want to hurt her more than she already was, but he didn’t want to keep things from her. “Livvy, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

  She jumped up from the bed, shaking her head. “Why? You said you loved her. She loves you. Why not?” she demanded.

  “It’s complicated.”

  “It’s always complicated. That’s what parents say when they’ve fucked up!”

  “Livvy, watch the language.” He stood. “I know you’re hurt but—”

  “But what? We can be a family, but you’d rather be alone for the rest of your life keeping me a baby!”

  “Livvy—” He reached out.

  She stepped back. “I want to be alone.” She turned her back to him.

  “Let’s talk,”

  “No. Leave,” she said softly.

  Respecting that she needed time to absorb all that had gone down, he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.

  Going back downstairs, he sat at the kitchen table then took out the letter. Opening it, he smoothed the folds from the sheet of paper and read…

  “Dear Creed,

  I hope I’m doing the right thing but leaving Cooper’s Hawk without telling you the truth would only break my heart more than I can bear. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before I left that I love you. Not like a brother. Or a friend. But I love you deeply.

  The night we slept together we created a child. It’s a girl. I’ve already named her Jane Elizabeth.

  I know you and Melody are getting married and I’m not asking you to not marry her, but I guess I was hoping you loved me too. I needed to take a chance.

  If you don’t want me—and our baby—please, don’t come. Please stay away. I will take your absence as an answer. I will never burden you with any of this. But if you love me, want our family, come to the rink. I’ll be waiting.

  With much love,

  Mindy.”

  Dropping the letter to the table, he lowered his head as tears blurred his vision. It was the first time he’d cried in years. He cried for Mindy. For Jane. For all the years they’d wasted on pride.

  How many more years would he waste?

  “You okay?”

  He found his mother standing in the doorway. “No.”

  “The walls of this place are thin.” She tightened the belt of her robe and stepped over to the coffee maker. “I’m sorry.”

  “I am too.”

  “So, you and Mindy have a child together. That’s a lot to absorb.”

  He didn’t respond. He was tired.

  “Coffee, son?”

  “No.”

  “Some advice?”

  “Ma, I—”

  “Stop. I need to say what I need to say.” She sat down at the table, placing her palms on the wood. “People make mistakes. I’ve made mistakes too.”

  “You?” He’d never known her to do anything wrong.

  Her skin paled. “Your father and I went through a very rocky time years ago. He spent so much time out on the land. I know that he was working hard but I felt like a neglected wife. I’m not excusing my actions, I’m only saying how I felt. I had an affair. It didn’t last long, but it was still an affair.”

  What the hell?

  “What? Did Dad know?”

  She nodded. “I told him. I couldn’t hide it from him. He was angry, wanted a divorce, and took off and stayed gone for a few weeks. Do you remember?”

  “I think so. You said he was away at a rodeo event.”

  “Yes. I couldn’t bear to tell you boys the truth because then I’d have to tell you everything, especially about my mistake. And about your father’s mistake too.”

  Creed blew out a long breath. “And what mistake was that?”

  “He had an affair too. He thought I didn’t know, but a woman always knows when her husband isn’t quite doing what’s right.”

  Rubbing his cheek, he cursed. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “I’m telling you this to show you that you can forgive. I forgave your father and he forgave me and the next remaining years that we had together were spent happy—happier than ever. It breaks my heart to think we could have given up on us, our family, and missed those wonderful last years. I loved him dearly.”

  “Ma, thanks but we’re comparing apples and oranges here. I didn’t screw around. I lost my daughter. Mindy kept her from me.”

  She patted his hand. “You’re missing the point, son. Get out of that stubborn head of yours and listen. Are you willing to give up on Mindy and what could be because you’re feeling betrayed? Or are you willing to forgive and spend the rest of your days, however many that may be, with those you love? Think about what you could be giving up.” She stood and went back to pour herself some coffee.

  “Who was the man?” Creed asked in a low voice.

  “It doesn’t matter.” She kept her back to him.

  “It does to me.”

  She didn’t even turn to look at Creed. “Rusty.”

  “Shit!” he bit out.

  Getting up, he started to say something to his Ma, but he decided against it.

  Instead, he went upstairs to try and mend things with Livvy. He knocked three times. No answer each time.

  Turning the doorknob, it was unlocked.

  “Livvy, are you ready to talk?” he asked as he stepped inside.

  Scanning the space, it was empty. The window was wide open.

  He rushed down the hall and checked the bathroom. His mother’s room. He ran from room to room and didn’t find her.

  His Ma met him in the living room. “What’s wrong, son? You look like you saw a ghost.”

  “It’s Livvy. She’s gone.”

  “What do you mean gone?”

  “Her window was open. I think she climbed out. I’m going to check outside and ask the hands if any of them have seen her.”

  “I’ll go get dressed.” She was already hurrying toward the stairs.

  Chapter Twenty

  “MOM, OF COURSE I forgive you. You’ve never lied to me. You’ve always been open about Branch not being my biological father.”

  Mindy met Jane’s sincere gaze through unshed tears. Since her run in with Creed that morning she’d been a blubbering idiot. Jane was doing her best to console Mindy after she divulged everything. Shifting on the couch, she plucked another tissue from the box and blotted her eyes. “Creed will never forgive me.”

  “I think you’re wrong. I don’t know him but if he’s as wonderful as you’ve always told me he was then he’ll realize you both played a role in this.”

  Mindy patted her hand. “He’s a wonderful man, honey. I want you to meet him. Meet Livvy.”

  “What will you do, Mom?”

  “I’m going back to California to take care of the house and then I’m not sure.”

  “Will you come back here to live?”

  “No. I don’t know. Probably not. Cooper’s Hawk isn’t big enough for Creed and me. He has every right to be angry. I should have tried harder. I made a mess of things.”

  “Yes, you should have, but I’m the same age you were when you got pregnant with me. I don’t know what I would do if I faced the same situation. No one knows what they’d do unless it happens to them.”

  “How’d you get to be so smart, sweetheart?” Mindy sniffed.

  “From you, Mom. Everything I am is because of you. You deserve happiness and if Creed makes you happy then fight for it. Show him that you’re willing to fight and do anything you need to.”

  If only she had the same hope that her daughter had. Mindy had seen Creed’s face though when she’d admitted the truth. He looked at her wit
h such hatred, unforgiveness.

  An urgent knock came on the door.

  “Are you expecting someone?” Jane asked.

  “No.”

  “I’ll get it.”

  Mindy wiped her eyes and pushed her soiled tissue inside her pocket. The familiar voice at the door made her heart lurch. It was Creed. What was he doing there?

  She stood at the same time he came strolling into the living room wearing a tight jaw and cold eyes. He swiped his hat off his head. He had worried lines around his pale blue eyes. “What is it, Creed?” Mindy knew something was wrong.

  “Should I leave you two alone?” Jane asked.

  Creed shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m looking for Livvy. Is she here?”

  “No. Is she supposed to be?” Mindy stepped forward, clasping her hands together.

  “I-I thought maybe she would be, you know, since...” He darted a glance at Jane.

  “Jane knows everything,” Mindy blurted. “If you need to say something you can speak in front of her.”

  “Livvy knows too. Her mom left and I think the combination of everything made her upset. I went to check on her and she had snuck out of the window.” He turned to Jane, twisting his hat in his hands. “Maybe one day soon you’d be willing to sit down and talk to me. I’d like to stay, but I need to go search for Livvy.”

  “We can all help,” Jane offered. “We’ll find her faster that way.”

  “Yes, we can,” Mindy said. “Jane, go get your Pop Pop and Jonesy. I’ll go with you Creed. Where would you like for them to search?” She grabbed her jacket off the hook and pulled it on, wondering if Creed would deny her from accompanying him.

  Creed looked anguished. “Can you go to Hawke Farm where my mother is waiting. She’ll know where Livvy’s friends live and you can start there. Maybe divide up the locations.”

  Mindy and Creed hurried to his truck that was still running.

  “Where are we going, Creed?” She asked once they pulled onto the main road.

  “If she’s anything like me, she’ll find the one person she feels has always been there for her.”

  “Alex, right?”

  He nodded.

  “What happened, Creed?”

  He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “She’s angry with me. Angry at everyone. She has reason to be hurt. I think we’ve all let her down.”

  “Why did Melody leave?”

  He shifted uncomfortably. “Her career is waiting.”

  “Livvy must be so upset.”

  “Before Mel left she gave me something.” The low huskiness of his voice made the hair on Mindy’s neck stand. “The letter.”

  She looked across the bench seat, seeing the moisture in his eyes. Tears blurred her vision too. A pain unlike any other filled her. “I understand you’ll never forgive me, but it’s not too late for you to build a relationship with Jane. She’s willing.”

  “Does she truly want that?”

  “More than anything. Please understand that I’ve never hid her from you.”

  His exhale sounded like a moan of a wounded animal. “It’s best we don’t go there now.”

  “We’ll find Livvy. She loves you. She’s hurt.”

  “If anything happens to her—”

  She reached over and touched his arm. His thick muscle flexed under her fingers. “Don’t even think that. She’s safe.”

  Silence fell between them.

  Ten minutes later, he parked the truck in front of a two-story yellow house. He barely had the gear in park before he jumped out and stormed up the stretch of cobblestone walkway.

  Mindy watched from the truck. Five minutes later he returned and slid behind the steering wheel.

  “Is she here?” Mindy asked.

  “No. And neither is Alex. They’re together.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  HANGING UP THE phone, Creed dropped the device into the center console. “That was Sheriff Conley. Livvy and Alex have been found.”

  Mindy’s cell beeped and she glanced at the screen. “It’s Isabella. She said the ice rink was broken into earlier. By two juveniles.” She looked across the seat. “Creed? Was it Livvy and Alex?”

  “Bingo,” he growled then jerked the steering wheel, doing an illegal U-turn on the road. He slammed on the gas pedal as they headed back toward Cooper’s Hawk.

  “Why? I could have let them in to skate.”

  “Something tells me they didn’t want to do things by the book. Livvy’s angry and wants attention.”

  “What will you do? What will Sheriff Conley do?”

  “I’m going to ground her until she’s eighteen.” He felt his muscles aching in his shoulders. “Sheriff is a fair man.”

  “Grounding her until she’s eighteen might be a bit overdramatic.”

  He flashed Mindy a dangerous glance. “And how would you handle this?”

  “Well, I’d first ask why. When Jane was fifteen, she and some friends were caught drinking on private property. I was so angry and disappointed but after learning the truth things weren’t as bad as they first seemed. She didn’t know there would be older kids at the party or that they would bring alcohol. Feeling pressure, she took a sip of beer. She hated it so she didn’t drink it. I grounded her for a few weeks. Trust me, I wanted to throw the book at her. Sometimes we must remember what it was like when we were kids. Peer pressure, hormones, social media…it’s all tough. I even took Jane to see a therapist.”

  “She saw a therapist?”

  “For a few months.”

  “Why?”

  “Don’t get panicked. She was going through a pretty hard stage. She got involved with the wrong crowd, had insecurities and she needed to speak to someone besides me about her feelings. Some kids need to talk to an unbiased person, someone they feel no emotional connection to.”

  “Did she ever tell you what made her feel like that?”

  “A kid at school continually called her fat. She wasn’t, but for a young girl that word can be very harmful.”

  “Mindy…do you really believe that she and I can have a relationship? Will she be willing to give me a chance? Or will we never be close?”

  She shifted so that she was looking at his profile. “Yes, she’ll give you a chance. Why wouldn’t she?”

  “I’m not doing very good with Livvy.”

  “Hey,” she laid her hand back on his arm. “Trust me, parents all feel the walk of shame at times. There were moments I thought I must have been the worst parent around because Jane was rebelling. It turns out she wasn’t rebelling as much as she was trying to find herself. We all go through stages where we lose our footing and must get back up and everyone gets back up at their own pace.” A long sigh came from her. “I’m sorry, Creed. It wouldn’t be fair to ask you to forgive me, but I do hope that one day you’ll understand.”

  He stretched his gaze across the short space. “I wish I could say that I see that as a possibility.”

  The rest of the drive was in silence.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  PULLING OUTSIDE OF the two-story brick building with a fountain in front, Creed turned off the truck.

  Mindy said softly, “I’m going to have Jane pick me up. You go on in and help Livvy. She needs you right now.” He opened the door and she added, “And remember that it wasn’t that long ago that you and I were kids and we snuck into the rink more times than we can count.”

  Creed didn’t look back. He had enough on his plate than to take a stroll down memory lane right now.

  Sheriff Conley was waiting for him when Creed stepped into the sheriff’s office. “Thanks for coming, Creed.”

  Shaking his hand, Creed looked down the stretch of hallway looking for his daughter in one of the wooden chairs. He didn’t see her. “What are we looking at, Conley?”

  “Well, they didn’t do any damage to the property. The door was left unlocked. Isabella is getting forgetful these days and said she must have left it unbolted. She also doesn’t want to file
any charges. Apparently, they snuck in the building to skate.”

  “Thanks, pal. Can I see her?”

  “Sure. She’s free to go. Just so we’re clear I gave her a good scare, just as I remember that Conley Senior used to give us when we were kids getting into mischief.”

  “Why does it feel a whole helluva lot worse when it’s our kids getting into trouble?”

  “Our parents always said karma was a bitch.” He chuckled and motioned for Creed to follow him down the long hallway. He stopped at a closed door marked “private”. “She’s pretty shaken up. I think she learned her lesson. The boy too.” Conley dipped his white Stetson and stepped across the hall into another room.

  Creed sucked in a breath and opened the door. Livvy was asleep on the couch inside. She looked peaceful. When she was younger, he’d read her to sleep and say a prayer that she’d always know how much he loved her. Creed had tripped somewhere along the way. He’d made big mistakes—just like his Ma had said. Everyone made mistakes.

  “Dad?”

  “Livvy?”

  She jumped up from the couch. “Daddy!” She raced into his arms, clinging to him like she’d done when she was little. He felt her shoulders shake as she sobbed into his shirt.

  He squeezed her tight against him, comforting her. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here.” He held her until her sobs turned to whimpers and faded. She lifted her head, looking at him with red-rimmed eyes and trembling bottom lip. Moisture streaked her puffy cheeks. His heart swelled three times its normal size.

  “Daddy! I’m so sorry. It wasn’t Alex’s fault. I made him go into the ice rink,” she said on a rushed breath. “Please don’t make us stop being friends.”

  “Come here.” He pointed to the couch. They sat down next to each other and he took her small hand into his. “Listen, what you did was wrong, but Sheriff Conley said there’s no damage to the property. Why did you sneak into the rink?”

  “I wanted Alex to see my routine. I was so proud. He said he couldn’t wait to see me skate. Isabella always leaves the door unlocked and I knew that. I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have gone inside, but I didn’t think it’d hurt. We just skated. That’s all.”