No Turning Back, A Breaking the Rules Novel

by A. m Madden

  I was first to pull away, even though I could’ve gone on kissing him for days. But I wanted more, and in that moment a switch flipped within me. His brows rose when I tugged on his hand and led him toward the bedroom before closing the door with a soft click.

  Wasting no time, I resumed our kiss while pressing my body flush into his. He skimmed his hands under my hair to cradle my head, manipulating my position to deepen the kiss. Meanwhile, I needed to feel his warm skin and slipped my hands beneath his shirt to the center of his back. Each skim of his tongue against mine caused tiny jolts to pulse between my legs, and a moan escaped from my mouth into his.

  “I need you,” he rasped against my lips.

  “Not nearly as much as I need you,” I countered, popping the button and lowering the zipper of his slacks. “You’ve worked hard enough to make me happy, Ryder. It’s my turn.”

  As he stood above me in some sort of trance, I tucked my fingers into his waistband and squatted into a kneel, taking them down with me. Coming eye level with the proof of his arousal pushing angrily against the knit fabric of those sexy black briefs caused a surge of desire to shoot through me. I then dragged his underwear down as well until they joined the pool of fabric at his feet.

  His manly perfection saluted me. There wasn’t a part of him that wasn’t desirable, as was clear in the effect he had on me either fully clothed or not.

  When I molded a hand over him and looked up, he finally spoke: “I don’t know what’s sexier… your possessive hold on my cock or the ring that’s flashing brilliantly on your finger.” I couldn’t have agreed more. Having that gorgeous round stone on my hand as a symbol of our future was most definitely a sexy visual.

  Covering his crown with my mouth caused Ryder to buck on impact. Hearing his heavy panting, and feeling his fingers tangling in my hair, emboldened me to trace my tongue over his length in slow, long drags.

  Through subtle shifts of his hips, he rode my mouth and worked my efforts to his satisfaction. Based on how his muscles flexed in his upper thighs, I knew he was sprinting close to the edge.

  I loved the taste of his skin on my tongue, as well as the sounds of his soft moans with every move my mouth made over his length. With each lap, he groaned as if in pain. Lick after lick, I quickened my pace before taking him fully into my mouth to suck hard.

  “Wait… Ree,” he groaned carnally before pulling out of my mouth and lifting me to stand. “I want to come inside you,” he then clarified. While he undressed me, practically tearing my clothes off my body, his face remained twisted in agony. And without bothering to remove any of his own clothes, he hoisted me up and impaled me with his cock.

  Instantly, he took the reins and began kissing me with each thrust of his hips. When he brought my body to a dangerous point of no return, when every bit of me pulsed with need, I begged, “Ryder… please.”

  “I know, baby.” He turned and sat down on the bed behind us, never once breaking stride. Straddling him in that way pushed him in even deeper, and we both took the moment to adjust before chasing the hedonism it created.

  Our mouths moved simultaneously, fusing together in another long, passionate kiss. The fullness I felt forced me to break away so I could suck in a much-needed breath.

  He slowly lifted me until all that remained inside was his tip before sliding me back down, taking him in to the hilt once again. His deep-blue eyes stared intently, and then he resumed kissing me.

  Even though he was as deep as he could be, I pressed my fingers into his back and pushed down harder on him. He nodded, understanding what I needed. With each slow thrust I came closer to hitting my climax. With each lunge of his hips, I fell more in love with this man.

  Ryder and I were making love. Together we were supplying everything needed for that magical experience he’d promised would occur. And an experience was what we were creating. It wasn’t about rushing through to the final act. It was the journey to get there. I could feel my belly tighten with anticipation, preparing for what my body was about to experience.

  “Ree.” My name sounded like a plea, a prayer, a wish. It was only then he closed his eyes while his movements quickened. My oversensitive nerves tried to steal my focus away from his beautiful face. His eyes flew open, and his jaw clenched tightly. The force of the moment pushed me closer to the edge.

  It was during that state of indescribable pleasure when we both came in a soundless climax. I spasmed around him and shuddered through the most intense orgasm I’d ever had in my entire life. With one last thrust, he pulsated inside me with his release.

  Through it, he held my head to fuse his mouth to mine. This kiss felt different from the others. As though it had a purpose, a validation of the act we’d just engaged in. While he remained inside me, all my emotions culminated through happy tears.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, skimming a hand over my cheek to dry them. I was more than okay. I never wanted this feeling to stop. I had never felt so connected to another human being in my life… not even when with him years ago. This time was different. It not only had to do with our physical connection, but, most important, it had all to do with our matured emotional one.

  “Yes,” I rasped, tightening my hold around his shoulders. “I’m perfect.” It wasn’t only his touch, his lips, or even his words, but all of that combined with my feelings for him that completed the perfect mix of ingredients needed to truly make love.

  His focus never left my face. His expression almost looked angry, but I knew better. He was as overwhelmed as I was. He was trying to control his own emotions.

  The crushing passion that swelled within me had nowhere to go but out through the tears that continued to roll. Just as he completely owned me, I could see through his expression that I completely owned him as well.

  I ran a hand over his cheek, cupping his jaw tenderly. “Thank you for making my birthday magical.”

  His eyes moistened. “I love you, Ree. You have no idea how much I love you.”

  “You’re wrong. I do,” I said quietly.

  Our helicopter ride back differed in that it was daylight. Ryder had arranged for the pilot to loop around Fort Lauderdale so I could see more than just the azure ocean beneath us. I sat mesmerized by the landscape we covered as he leaned close, watching me watching it.

  If Sanibel set the bar high, then our time in the Bahamas catapulted that bar out of the atmosphere. But it wasn’t just because of his proposal, although I’ve been walking on clouds since. Because of every way we made love the past five days, I was in an orgasm-induced stupor.

  And my euphoria was only partly because of the stunning tropical location, or the luxury surrounding us. It was partly from the exhilarating days we’d spent swimming with dolphins, having fancy meals, or engaging in sexy foreplay on the beach. Or the long talks while lying naked in bed. Even coming out of the shower to find a single rose on my pillow, making love with more purpose than simply to have an orgasm. Every one of those things contributed to my constant blissful state. But the main reason my birthday getaway encompassed the best days I’d had in my life was Ryder Carter.

  The pilot maneuvering the copter down on the landing pad snapped me out of my thoughts. “Back to reality,” he said in my ear.

  I turned toward him and smiled. “Thank you for an amazing birthday.”

  He graced me with a reciprocating smile and kissed me chastely. “Thank you for agreeing to be my wife.”

  Wife.

  I would be his wife, and the thought consumed me with joy. Every day with this man had me falling deeper and deeper in love. Not to mention, Ryder was making it hard to slip back into day-to-day life after each trip.

  By the time we got home late Sunday afternoon, my bliss hadn’t lessened, and my face felt stiff from smiling so much. Once our driver dropped us off, Ryder threw our suitcases through the door, and we headed straight for the Puglias to get Kayla. I tried to stay behind, but he insisted that I go with him.

  His reason was revealed when
we walked into their house to be met with yet another birthday celebration. Rebecca, Marco, and the kids, along with Cooper and Ricky, welcomed us home with balloons and cake as they sang “Happy Birthday.”

  Being caught off guard, my hand flew to my mouth in shock. The diamond sitting on my finger effectively had their birthday song careening off a cliff.

  “What is that?” Rebecca asked, pointing to my hand. “Oh my God!” She rushed over and threw her arms around both of us. “Congratulations!” I caught Ryder’s eye over her shoulder, and he gave me a sexy wink.

  One by one her husband, Ricky, and then Cooper followed suit. From their reaction, they were all thrilled with our news. However, I could tell something was on Cooper’s mind. Ryder wouldn’t know, as Cooper had been congratulatory and enthusiastic, listening to details of our trip. Still, there was something in his eyes I picked up on.

  Sure enough, after we said our goodbyes, Ryder loaded up the car with Kayla and her stuff while Cooper held me back at the front door. “What? Say it,” I said with little patience. No way would I allow him to derail my happy train.

  “I’m thrilled for you. I just think…” He sighed, yet I felt the lack of patience. When I folded my arms in wait, he said, “Riana, you just got back together.”

  “So?” His eyes rolling upward forced me to say, “Our situation is unique, Coop.”

  “I know you have history, and I’m glad you have him back in your life… I really am. I just worry you aren’t thinking clearly.”

  I narrowed my eyes on him. “Why aren’t I thinking clearly?”

  “Well…” He guiltily gripped the back of his neck. “You’ve been through a lot, being pregnant and all—”

  “If you blame hormones, I will clock you, Cooper Stanton.” Another sigh confirmed my accusation. “Okay, I’m leaving. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I mumbled with an impatient wave of my hand.

  “Ree,” he called out, but I ignored him and stalked to the car. I got that he loved me and felt it was his job to protect me. Well, it was time he took a sabbatical. That love and concern would unintentionally become a threat to Ryder, and I wouldn’t have it.

  Ryder eyed me after the door slammed shut with a metallic clunk. “You all right?”

  “Yep… all good.” He didn’t look convinced yet started the car and drove us home. Frustration that my joy had been hampered caused a lump to form in my throat and tears to threaten in my eyes. Okay, maybe I was hormonal and overreacted. Needing to hide it from Ryder, I stared out the window to keep him from seeing my emotional reaction.

  But when Ryder pulled the car into the underground garage ten minutes later, he twisted in his seat and insisted, “Riana. What did Cooper say?”

  If I told him of my exchange with Cooper, Ryder would lose his mind. Although their relationship had improved these past few months, there was still an underlying tension between them. Until now, ignoring it had been my best approach. I was beginning to feel it needed to be addressed with Cooper, especially now that Ryder would be my husband.

  Waving a hand in dismissal, I said, “He was just pulling a Cooper.”

  “Let me guess…” His gaze remained laser focused on my face. “We’re moving too fast.”

  “Forget him.” I took his hand and pressed it between both of mine. “Let’s not ruin a great weekend. Okay?”

  The clench in his jaw meant he wasn’t happy. Regardless, he nodded and let it go. On the contrary, I knew that I’d be having a little chat with Cooper.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Riana

  July

  I cringed when Kayla’s nemesis appeared in the distance. Blaze was a huge dalmatian who had once mounted Kayla, and she now despised him. What made things worse: his owner was as cocky as he was. No joke, my sweetheart of a dog turned into Cujo whenever Blaze was around.

  Thank God, Kayla didn’t notice him when I tugged her in the opposite direction, quickening our pace until we were far enough away and a block from home. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth, panting heavily from the exertion.

  “Sorry, girl. It’s for your own good.” Cracking open the large water bottle I carried to give her a drink, she happily lapped at the stream I poured near her mouth. She then sat her butt down and looked at me expectantly. I knew in her doggie brain she thought, This is it? “Don’t look at me like that.” It wasn’t a secret she preferred Ryder to be with us because he brought her favorite tennis ball to play with. All I did with her was walk.

  Each morning after having breakfast with Ryder, Kayla and I headed out before the temperatures turned to sweltering. Besides trying to get in some form of exercise, because running was a sore subject between Ryder and me, I used the time to reflect on all the blessings I’d been gifted these past few months. Walking along the beach was my preferred method of meditating. During those walks I’d recently begun thinking about a wedding that needed planning.

  It was easy to see where my life would be in a year… in ten. Probably not much different than it was now. Still, it excited me to know that Ryder and I would be growing old together. I tried to imagine the places we’d visit, the people we’d meet.

  With Ryder in my life, I knew I’d live just about anywhere. Regardless of where we ended up, I’d still be close to Cooper, Ricky, Rebecca, and Marco. They were family… which was why I needed Cooper and Ryder to get along. In all fairness, it wasn’t like they were at each other’s throats or anything that dramatic… more so a mutual indifference.

  Tomorrow the Puglias were having a July Fourth barbecue, and it would be the first time Cooper and Ryder came face-to-face since the night we returned from the Bahamas. I, however, had seen Cooper a few times since then, the first of which was the day after he unapologetically offered his opinion on our engagement.

  The next morning, when Ryder had left to meet with a client in Miami, I’d marched myself right over to Cooper’s place to have a little chat. He answered the door sporting an all-knowing smirk while grumbling about needing coffee. I waited for him to take one sip before unleashing.

  On my agenda was to remind him that of all people, he should understand what the heart wanted, the heart got. He’d lived through it himself while having the sexual revelation that forever changed his life… one that was a lot scarier than merely reconnecting with an ex. I then pointed out that by “having my back” he was unintentionally hurting me. I loved him for caring as much as he did, but it really wasn’t his place to be my protector… especially from Ryder. Ryder wasn’t the enemy. And as I’d proved over the years, I could take care of myself.

  I threw Cooper’s words back to him. “If he’s the right man, he’ll want to be with you regardless of your situation.” Ryder proved that.

  During my soapbox sermon, Cooper remained silent, allowing me to say what I had to say while the remorse he felt had been written all over his face. When he finally spoke, it was to apologize for overstepping.

  It wasn’t my intention to have him feel badly, and I told him so. I also didn’t believe he would behave this way if I’d been dating anyone else. It most definitely had to do with Ryder and our past. Cooper reluctantly agreed he may have a hard-on for the guy because of what he had put me through. He also admitted that Ricky had already handed him his balls the night before and scolded that enough was enough. It didn’t surprise me. Ricky was Ryder’s biggest cheerleader. In all fairness to Cooper, Ricky wasn’t as connected to my unstable history as his husband was. Still… it was water under the bridge.

  Besides, that history was a good reason why Ryder and I now had a rock-solid foundation. We’d learned from our mistakes. I loved the life we were building together. And I was so very proud of Ryder for taking control of his own destiny and building a firm he could be proud of.

  Sure, things weren’t always perfect. During the week, I barely saw him. Ryder spent days locked in the second bedroom, working his ass off. He’d appear for meals, and the occasional Ree break. Each night he’d crawl into bed before wrapping me in hi
s arms. Sometimes we’d make love; most times he’d fall into a deep sleep, only to repeat the pattern the next day.

  There have been a few small overnight trips—Chicago, New York, and even Colorado. Each time he returned looking more exhausted than before he left.

  Because his weekdays were so hectic, he made it his priority to unplug and spend every waking moment with me on weekends. But I’d often catch him staring into space when he wasn’t aware that I’d been watching. And when he did finally feel my gaze on him, he’d flip on a smile or throw me a wink.

  He seemed off. There was most definitely something else bothering him besides worrying about me. Meanwhile, I spent my time working on the foundation, breaking up the day by taking Kayla for walks on the beach… and worrying about him.

  The tension rolling off Ryder in waves couldn’t have been because of my pregnancy. Now that I’d combated the morning sickness, except for being tired in the afternoons and hating the July heat, I really had no other complications. The appointments I’d had were uneventful. That morning, Ryder stared longingly when I left, torn between wanting to be there for me and respecting Ricky and Cooper’s roles.

  Oblivious to my fiancé’s angst, Cooper went with me that day and sat in the waiting room the entire time. Cooper seemed to be a bit insensitive about how difficult it was for Ryder. I meant to mention during our “talk” how much Ryder had been struggling with the pregnancy. But that would lead to questions, and I didn’t want to open that can of worms. Ryder’s reasoning was no one’s business.

  Kayla caught my attention by growling at a tiny poodle a supermodel walked on a leash. The closer they got, the louder Kayla got, forcing me to smile an apology before pulling my dog around them in a wide arc. “They’re going to form a support group against you if you keep harassing them.”