No Turning Back, A Breaking the Rules Novel

by A. m Madden

  It needed to be said: Kayla wasn’t a fan of other dogs. We had been kicked out of the dog park around the corner on a few occasions, and during one visit Kayla had been thrown into the doggie jail for a time-out. It was only a matter of time before flyers began popping up in the neighborhood with her face on them.

  Completely unfazed, she sniffed along the concrete and repeated the pattern when an unsuspecting shih tzu came around the corner. “Menace,” I grumbled, tugging her along until we repeated the pattern on the next walk.

  Once the elevator opened on my floor, I released Kayla from her leash and watched with a smile as she took off for our door. With no witnesses in sight, she—of course, now—obediently sat waiting for me to reach her. While looking up at me with those amber eyes, I wasn’t fooled. Her docile behavior had all to do with the treat she would receive, as well as her favorite human on earth, just beyond that door.

  “You really don’t deserve a treat—” The door flew open and scared me to death. Kayla barked in the most unthreatening way, tail wagging happily while landing her front paws on the man’s chest.

  To the contrary, my heart pounded with a scream that was seconds away from escaping. That was until I realized I knew the bearded blond stranger was not an intruder who had broken into my house. “Wes?”

  “Ree!” He threw one arm around me and rocked us back and forth, the greeting riling Kayla up even more.

  “Shit, you scared me to death.”

  “I’m sorry.” Being ignored was something Kayla wouldn’t tolerate, forcing her eagerness to escalate. “And is this the other love of my buddy’s life?” he then asked, bending so she could give him a good licking.

  “Meet Kayla,” I said with a shake of my head. “A watchdog she’s not.”

  “Of course not. She doesn’t have a threatening bone in her body.”

  “That’s because you’re human and not a dog.”

  He chuckled, scrubbing his hands through her silky fur. “I’ve heard so much about you, pretty girl.”

  While they became acquainted, I walked past them and hung her leash on the coatrack near the door. “Where’s Ryder?”

  “Oh, he’s on the phone. I came out to get us a drink when I heard her collar clinking through the door.” He followed me in with Kayla hot on his heels.

  “I didn’t know you were coming up to Fort Lauderdale.”

  “We had a change in plans. Ryder needed me to pick up a contract that has to be signed this afternoon because I’m taking off for the holiday.”

  “Nice. Anywhere good?”

  “Back to New York for a few days.”

  “Oh yeah, to visit your family?”

  “Right… and to show London Manhattan.” A devilish smirk crossed over his features, and I hoped he’d spare me any further details. London was a sore subject with Ryder. She had left Morton to follow Wes, and he’d then hired her as an administrative assistant… one that Wes was now having sex with.

  When Ryder and I were together, I really didn’t know Wes all that well. Anytime we did double-date, he had a different woman on his arm. The man was a bit too cocky, too arrogant, and too vain for my liking.

  Case in point, the perfectly coiffed blond-highlighted locks he sported now were a sharp contrast to his natural flat brown. It was probably why I didn’t recognize him at first. His teeth were so white they would probably glow in the dark, and he dressed like he belonged on a Paris runway. Even in New York he stood out, so you could imagine how his wardrobe was just a tad too outrageous for southern Florida… except in Miami. There he fit right in.

  Since reconnecting with Ryder, I had yet to see Wes. The last time I had, we’d run into each other in the city. He’d offered to buy me a coffee, and we’d shared an awkward conversation regarding Ryder and his fiancée. It had seemed odd how determined he was to rattle off how great Ryder was, and how happy Ryder was, and how gorgeous his girlfriend was.

  I now knew Wes had lied to me that day. Ryder hadn’t been engaged to Diane and wanting to know why Wes had done that caused an impatience toward him. Maybe one day I’d ask him. Right now, I just wanted to tolerate him.

  “Well… that sounds fun.” I feigned interest. “Can you stay for lunch?”

  “Sure.”

  “Great… are you okay with burgers?”

  “Sounds good.” I pulled out three patties from my never-ending supply, along with condiments, cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes. As he watched me place them on a pan before popping them in the broiler, he pointed and asked, “No longer a pescatarian?”

  “Not for the time being. It’s ironic these babies only tolerate meat and complex carbs.”

  “Babies?” The tone of his voice had me stopping the slice I’d started into the firm tomato. He briefly dropped his gaze, landing it on the small bump my T-shirt and knit shorts did little to hide. “You’re pregnant with twins?”

  “Um… yes. Four months.” His eyes bulged wide while his mouth hung open.

  He didn’t know. Ryder practically spent more time with Wes than he did with me. We’d been together for three months now, and the man didn’t know I was pregnant?

  Sensing my unease, he waved a hand in a dismissive way. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Congratulations, I guess. When are you guys due?”

  Over his shoulder, I noticed Ryder standing in the doorway while looking as though he was about to be sick. I understood these weren’t his babies, but I couldn’t wrap my brain around the reason he’d intentionally kept that from Wes.

  Going stone still myself tipped Wes off that he was behind him. “What the fuck, dude? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It’s, um…” Ryder gripped the back of his neck, clearly at a loss for words.

  Wes’s gaze bounced between us a few times before I said, “They’re not Ryder’s babies.”

  “Gotcha.” Wes gave me a slow nod, but the accusation in his eyes told a different story… something more like, What in the actual fuck?

  Meanwhile, I hated the guilty look on Ryder’s face more than I hated the fact he’d kept my situation a secret. Reaching my hand out gave him an invite to come closer. Once his fingers entwined with mine, I forced a smile and looked at Wes. “Well… I’m carrying them for my good friends.” I kept it simple, honest. For the next few minutes, I explained why I was pregnant with Cooper and Ricky’s twins. Once he knew why I’d decided to be a surrogate for them, and how it had all happened pre-Ryder, he slowly came back to his senses.

  “So you’re not the mother… but which one of them is the dad?” Wes asked, clearly confused.

  “We don’t know that yet. Could be either one of them, or even both.”

  “Both? How the fuck does that happen?”

  Not wanting to get into a fertility lesson with a man who probably had a few of his own kids running amok somewhere, I just shrugged.

  Leaving it at that, he sat like an unused ventriloquist’s dummy for a good long minute… and Ryder looked no different.

  “Well, I guess that’s exciting,” he said with a fake smile. And then it dawned on him. “Dude, I get why you didn’t tell me. Don’t sweat it.”

  Ryder nodded at the out his best friend had just given him, but his eyes remained on me. “I still should’ve told you. I just—”

  “Had other things on your mind,” Wes cut him off. “With the agency sinking—”

  “Wes!” Ryder scrubbed a frustrated hand over his face.

  Wes’s attention flipped to me. “Oh shit. Fuck. Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

  What was happening? “Sinking how?” I asked Ryder.

  “I didn’t want to worry you. It’s not a big deal. We lost another client recently, and it’s just a temporary setback.” When I looked toward Wes, his eyes darting away from mine meant it was worse than that.

  The tension between us was palpable, so much so Wes snatched an envelope off the counter and said, “You know what? I’ll take a rain check on that lunch. I have to get back… get
these signed… pack for my flight later.” He fidgeted his way toward the door. “It was great seeing you, Ree. Feel good. Happy Fourth.” With that, he slipped out as though his ass was literally on fire, leaving Kayla on our side, whining over his departure.

  Speaking of fire, the smell of smoke stole my focus. “Shit.” A plume billowed out the oven when I cracked open the door, prompting me to grab the dish towel and fan it away. “I guess I burned our lunch,” I said, dropping the metal pan on the stovetop and staring down at the three charcoal lumps.

  “Ree,” Ryder said close behind me. For whatever reason, I couldn’t turn. Maybe it was because of the tears that welled and blurred my vision, maybe it was because I felt that same sick feeling as the day that he left me.

  You’re being melodramatic, Riana. Stop it, my head scolded.

  It’s the hormones, my conscience countered.

  But deep down I knew it was neither.

  When his hands landed on my shoulders, the sob I had been biting back escaped. “Baby, I didn’t want to worry you. I was going to tell you soon, I swear. It’s fixable. I just need to do some legwork… chase prospects more aggressively.”

  I twisted, coming face-to-face with him. “Tell me the truth, Ryder. Enough with the sugarcoating.”

  His jaw clenched while his eyes bore into mine. “Doug has been dragging my name through the mud.” I knew right then and there it wasn’t fixable.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ryder

  I’m going to kill that fucker.

  And as quickly as that thought popped into my mind, I knew it wasn’t Wes’s fault. This was on me. I’d made her a promise—the truth no matter how difficult it was to hear.

  I’d fucked up.

  Watching her nervously biting her lip and wringing her hands leached into my heart. Yet that paled in comparison to seeing the hurt in her eyes. By palming her cheeks, I gave her no choice but to stare back at me. “Ree, I didn’t want you consumed with this. That’s the only reason I kept it from you.”

  “I knew,” she responded with a sad smile. “I knew something was wrong. I could see it in your eyes when you didn’t think I was watching.” She shrugged as an apology. “I’m probably as much at fault as you are.”

  “Don’t,” I snapped, releasing my hold while taking my frustrations out on my neck. “Don’t turn this around on me. I should’ve told you. I just wanted to try and fix it before I burdened you with—”

  “Burdened?” she snapped back. “Ryder, you’re going to be my husband. I’m not burdened by your stress as much as you’d be with mine. Unless you knock this shit off, we won’t work.” That statement may as well have been a machete, and my involuntary flinch from hearing something that inconceivable caused her expression to soften. She now palmed my face with both of her hands. “I love you. Sharing your stress or your struggles with me won’t lessen that. But repeatedly lying by omission is toxic… no different than acid killing something beautiful one drip at a time.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.” I pulled her into my embrace and kissed her forehead. “Promise me you won’t worry about this, though. Sometimes you must go down before you can go up. It’ll be fine.” She searched my expression for a crack in my resolve and, after finding nothing, allowed herself to smile.

  “I promise,” she said before leaning on her toes to press her lips against mine. I tentatively took over the kiss, slipping my tongue into her mouth to skim against hers. A tiny moan escaped, and then two firm hands pushed against my chest. “Hey. I was just getting started.”

  “Which is why I stopped you. There’s one more thing I want to talk about.”

  Before she even said another word, I knew what was coming. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell Wes about the pregnancy,” I offered as a pathetic excuse. “Please don’t read into it.” Her eyes narrowed a bit, her mouth opened to speak, and then she clamped it shut. “What?”

  A deep hue reddened her cheeks as she asked, “Are you embarrassed by it?”

  “No, of course not.” My response didn’t seem to convince her. With a resigned sigh, I admitted, “I’m not embarrassed… don’t ever think that. I just…” Shit.

  How could I tell her that there were times I wished it was my baby she carried, despite the fear and the anxiety that came with it? Despite the fact she didn’t want children someday. Misinterpreting my silence caused her to frown.

  “Look… I understand it’s an awkward situation, but me being a surrogate has no reflection on you or on us.”

  Deciding her assumption was better than my reality, I merely conceded, “I know.”

  “There will be times it’ll be awkward… like if a stranger assumes it’s ours. Who cares what people think?”

  “They’ll think you’re an amazing person.” I kissed her softly. “And they’ll be jealous you’re mine. Speaking of… we need to set a date.”

  “I was thinking about that. How about next fall?”

  “Next fall? That’s eighteen months away!” A fucking eternity. Yes, I was proud of her for doing something so selfless. But selfishly I wanted our lives to begin… and until she delivered, I felt we were in a holding pattern. “Why do I have to wait so long?”

  “You’re not waiting for anything, Ryder. You have me. We live together. I already share your last name.” She giggled adorably. “It’s just a piece of paper.” I searched her eyes and didn’t like the uncertainty I saw.

  “What’s wrong, Ree?”

  “Nothing is wrong,” she was quick to reply. “It’s just that my mom and I would go to this gorgeous park near where I grew up.”

  “Benson Park.”

  “Yes. There’s that gazebo nestled in between those gorgeous maple trees. When the leaves turn, it’s so beautiful. Mom and I would imagine a bride and groom exchanging their vows with the golds and reds serving as a backdrop. To have a wedding there would be so—”

  I placed a finger over her lips. “Enough said. We will be married next fall in that gazebo.” Her stomach grumbling in agreement had me chuckling at her expense. I kissed her nose. “You’re hungry, and I need a break. Let’s go grab lunch on the beach.”

  “Are you sure? I can make us something else.”

  “I’m positive.” Whatever catastrophe I dealt with would be there whether I took time to be with her or not. Ending any further argument, I took her hand and dragged her out of the condo. Fuck it.

  Sure, I appreciated the day off in the middle of the week… something I hadn’t done in months. But the way we were spending it was not my scene.

  There must have been thirty people at the Puglias’ when we arrived. An incredible buffet and an open bar made for a boisterous crowd, and the noise level rivaled a small concert venue in Miami. I couldn’t imagine their neighbors being happy; then again most of them were there.

  If I had the choice, I’d be on our beach until the heat became unbearable. I’d then drag Riana back to our place so we could fuck the afternoon away in the cool tranquility of our bedroom.

  When Riana’s gaze landed on me from where she sat on the edge of the pool, I winked and earned a smile. All day long she’d been checking to be sure I was okay. She knew me well, going as far as claiming we’d stay only an hour or so. But she was having so much fun, and I knew if she wanted to stay all night I would.

  Not having any family of her own, I’d never deny her spending time with the one she’d adopted. Cooper, Ricky, even Rebecca and Marco were her family. Their friends were now Riana’s friends. Out of our little bubble, she was distracted in the best of ways. There wasn’t a trace of concern that had been the norm since Wes had opened his fat mouth about our business.

  Seeing the smile on her face made my torment worth it. Specifically, sweating my balls off while listening to disgusting diaper-disaster stories.

  “You have kids, man?” The ringleader of the circle I’d been stuck in asked. In my defense, I’d invited myself in because the table they sat around was closest to the rotating fan. />
  “No… no kids. Just a feisty dog.”

  “Ah, that’s a piece of cake. Even my dog’s worst day doesn’t compare to explosive diarrhea in a onesie.” Seriously? What the fuck with the defecating obsession?

  I forced a laugh. “Sounds terrifying.” Needing out of there, I excused myself from the circle of dads, overhearing one of them saying, “I think we scared him away.”

  That was a fucking understatement, I thought, heading toward Riana. “Hey, honey. Are you okay?” she asked when I squatted beside her.

  “Absolutely,” I lied.

  “We can head out whenever you’re ready.”

  “Oh no. You can’t leave yet,” Rebecca said with a pout. “Marco arranged a surprise later.”

  When Riana flicked her eyes to me, I said, “Of course we’ll stay. I just need a cold drink. Do you want one?”

  She lifted her iced tea. “I’m good.”

  Kissing her chastely, I said, “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

  I made my way into the house, where a bartender had been set up. The air-conditioning felt amazing, which explained the dozen or so people that were scattered around the great room. No sooner had I asked for a bottle of Heineken than Cooper sauntered over.

  Fantastic.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey. How ya doin’?”

  “Can’t complain.” After he ordered himself a frozen margarita, I waved a hand, ready to beeline out of there. “See ya later.”

  “Ryder,” he called out. “Can we talk?”

  Oh my God… kill me. “Yeah, sure.” I waited through the blender’s whir until he had his drink in hand.

  His gaze swept over the crowded room, and he flicked a thumb toward the front door. “Let’s go outside.”

  The heat slapping me across the face instigated my annoyance. I really wasn’t in the mood to get into it with him again. I could count on one hand how many times I’d been in Cooper’s company, and most of them involved a lecture.

  We had yet to speak since the night he’d upset Riana regarding our engagement. She’d paid him a visit the next day and then assured me that he agreed he was out of line. Based on the holier-than-thou attitude now, something told me he’d lied to her.