Change My Game: An Emotional Second Chance Romance (North Haven University Book 2)

by Kelsey Clayton

  Still, he tosses and turns in the bed while muttering something that sounds like a mix of I didn't do it and oh my God, she's dead. The words alone send chills down my spine, but my worry is Jace. I sit up in bed and throw one leg over him, so I'm straddling his lap.

  "Jace! Come on, wake up!"

  He's moving so much that if he wasn't talking, I'd think he somehow managed to overdose while I was sleeping and is having a seizure. Finally, I grab his face tightly.

  "Jace!"

  His eyes open, and he jolts awake. His breathing is heavy as he looks around the room and the reality of where he is sets in. He looks up at me before instantly pulling me into him. He wraps his arms tightly around me and nuzzles his face into my neck, breathing me in.

  "Are you okay?" I whisper. "You were having a nightmare."

  He shakes his head and presses a kiss into my neck. "Need this. Need you."

  I pull away to look at him. "Shouldn't we talk about this? What were you dreaming about?"

  "I can't," he admits. "I can't talk about it. I just can't. Please. Don't make me."

  "Okay, okay," I say soothingly, calming him down.

  He closes the distance between us and covers my mouth with his own. The kiss is more than just wanting me close. There's something deeper in it. He needs something to ground him and show him that he's okay. Something real.

  His hand slides down my side, until his thumb dips inside the waistband of my panties. In one fluid motion he pulls them down my legs and discards them onto the floor. The second his fingers reach my sex, I can't resist arching into his touch.

  I roll over toward him and scramble to get his boxers off. His hard cock springs free the second I get them low enough. I wrap my fingers around it and start to pump, but he isn't having it. Instead, he flips me around so I'm facing away from him and presses himself against my back.

  "You're not in charge here, baby," he murmurs into my ear, and it's got to be one of the sexiest things I've ever heard.

  He removes his fingers, only to press his dick inside of me the next second—bare, hard, and raw. The two of us let out moans at the feeling of finally being connected like this again. My whole body comes alive when he's thrusting into me. I can't even begin to explain it.

  "Is everything okay?" I hear a sleepy Carter coming toward the door. "I heard screaming."

  I half-expect Jace to stop, or at least attempt to hide what we're doing. Maybe even tell Carter to go away. But no. He just keeps pounding away inside of me, like there's nothing else in existence. Carter opens the door and stares at us, clearly trying to figure out if he's really seeing what he thinks he's seeing.

  And I'm stuck in a trance, until Jace slides one hand under my shirt and cups my breast. I throw my head back and whimper at the rush of sensation that floods through me as he rolls my nipple between his thumb and index finger. He rolls his hips into me with skill. He always has known exactly what I like.

  Carter's eyes widen as he realizes what's going on. "Yeah, no. You're definitely okay."

  At first, he turns away, then he stops and walks toward the bed, one hand pushing back his hair. I'm not even sure exactly what he plans on doing, but the second he gets close enough, Jace growls at him.

  "Don't fucking touch her."

  He jumps back and holds his hands up in surrender. "Was worth a shot."

  As he leaves the room, Jace presses more kisses into my neck and grumbles something about Carter being an asshole under his breath. A part of me wonders how many times they've taken the same girl, being as Carter likely didn’t come up with that idea all of a sudden, but as one thrust hits just the right spot, all thoughts go right out the window.

  "Your pussy feels so fucking good," he moans. “Mine. It’s mine, and every last ounce of your pleasure belongs to me. Do you understand?”

  "Yours," I confirm, not sure if it's for myself or for him.

  Jace always has been very talkative during sex, but it's never been like this. This is more proprietary….a base instinct coming out. Like he needs to make sure I know that I belong to him and no one else. I can't tell if that's because of how long we went without talking, or because of whatever that nightmare was. Still, I can't find it in me to deny him because he's right—I am his. I always have been.

  Releasing my breast, he moves his hand down until it's hovering right over my clit. He starts to apply light pressure, just enough to tease me in a way that drives me crazy. However, as soon as he starts getting close, he presses harder and starts to rub circles over it. I melt into him and just feel as my core starts to tighten.

  "Give it to me, babe," he demands. "Cum all over my cock and give me what's mine."

  Denying him is not a possibility. Not when he's working magic all over my body and his voice has that gravely tone to it. My orgasm explodes inside of me, and the question of who moans louder when it does is one I'll never know the answer to.

  He rides me through it, and as soon as I'm starting to come back down, he pulls out and rolls me onto my back. He pulls my shirt up until my chest is fully exposed and uses his other hand to jerk himself off. It only takes a few pumps before he throws his head back, and spurts of cum coat my breasts.

  I'm not sure what's hotter—the way his voice sounds as he lets go, or the way his abs flex. Regardless, it's mesmerizing. He bites his lip as he finishes and reaches over to the nightstand to grab a bottle of water. Watching his Adam's apple bounce with every swallow, as sweat glistens across him—fuck, I could watch him for hours.

  "Do you want some?" he offers.

  I nod, but instead of handing me the bottle, he pours some more into his mouth and then dips down to connect his lips with mine. He forces my mouth open and water pours from his into my own. I swallow it down just before he deepens the kiss and our tongues tangle together.

  "I missed this," he admits, and it feels like the first time he's given me anything other than he just wants someone to fuck around with.

  "You did?"

  He smiles. "More than you know."

  Hopping down off the bed, he grabs his T-shirt off the floor and tosses it on top of the mess he made on my chest—giving me something to clean up with. Then, with a wink, he heads to the bathroom, stark naked and not giving a shit who sees.

  Well, okay then.

  THE NEXT DAY, I actually manage to get back to Jace's dorm before he does. Thankfully, Carter is there, and while maybe it should be awkward, given what he saw last night, it's not. He does, however, smirk at me as soon as I walk in the door.

  "Someone had fun last night," he teases.

  I roll my eyes and press send on my text to Jace, letting him know I'll wait here for him. "Shut up. You're the one who tried to tag in."

  He goes back to playing his game but chuckles. "What can I say? It looked like a good time."

  "Yeah, well. If I could figure out how it started, that would be great."

  "What do you mean?"

  I walk around the couch and sit down across from Carter. "I mean, he was having some kind of nightmare, and when I finally got him to wake up, all he wanted to do was fuck. He wouldn't talk about it."

  His brows furrow, but he doesn't look as confused as I thought he would be. "Did he say anything while he was sleeping?"

  "I don't know. I think I heard something about someone being dead, but I was so tired I probably imagined it." I lean my head against the pillow, but when I notice Carter doesn't say anything, I jolt back up. "I did imagine that, right?"

  He puts the controller down and runs his hands over his face, contemplating what to say for a second. "Look, Paige. I can't tell you what happened. It's not my story to tell."

  My jaw drops. "What the actual fuck, Carter! Did he kill someone?"

  There's no confirming that he did, but he also doesn't deny it. "You're going to have to talk to Jace about it. I'm sorry. I just can't betray his trust like that. The shit that happened in Florida...it changed him."

  "Clearly, but shouldn't I know what I'm getti
ng myself into?"

  Turning toward me, he grabs my shoulders to keep my attention focused on him. "Answer me this, what does your gut say? Do you honestly think he killed someone?"

  The answer is simple. "No."

  "Then trust your gut but try to get him to tell you. Lord knows he won't talk about it to anyone else. Not even the therapist his dad has him seeing."

  It feels like every time I turn around, there's another secret I don't know. First it's that he's on drugs. Now it's that he was involved in something so fucked up that his dad has him in therapy. What's next? A secret baby? A wife in a foreign country?

  Jace walks in a few minutes later, and Carter and I exchange a look, but neither one of us says anything to hint at what we were just talking about.

  "I'm going to get in the shower," Jace tells me. "You coming?"

  I shake my head. "You go. I'm kind of tired, to be honest."

  "Okay."

  Thankfully, he thinks nothing of it, and with a quick kiss to my forehead, which is so not a friends-with-benefits thing to do, by the way, he heads off into his shower.

  A FEW DAYS PASS, and I finally tell Jace that I can't spend the day with him. It's not that I don't want to. It's just that I feel like I haven't spent nearly enough time at home, and that’s the whole reason I moved back in the first place.

  Sure, Jace and I have spent time with my dad, together, but that's just him. I haven't been around to help my mom with anything, and I swore I wouldn't leave this all to her.

  I walk into the kitchen to see her doing the dishes. Without a second thought, I pick up a towel and start to dry the ones she's hand washing that wouldn't fit in the dishwasher. She smiles warmly at me and passes the next one over.

  "What have you been up to?" she asks.

  I shrug. "Just hanging out with Jace. He's been going through some stuff."

  Concern crosses her face. "He was going through stuff a little over a month ago, too. Is everything all right?"

  "I hope so," I tell her honestly. "But I don't know. I think it goes a lot deeper than what I know, and I'm not sure I'm strong enough to help him beat it."

  She stops what she's doing and turns to face me. "Paige, you are one of the strongest people I've ever known, and I've known a lot of people."

  "I know, but—"

  "No buts. Use your judgment. If something is too much for you, you're smart enough to walk away from it, but if you want to help him, you'll find a way. You always do."

  I drop my head and continue drying a spot that is long past dry. "But I should be here, being strong and helping you."

  My mom shakes her head and grabs the dish out of my hands before pulling me in for a hug. "If anything, you're helping me by living your life. I know you're here if I need you. Don't worry about that."

  "Promise?"

  "I promise."

  THE WEEK PASSES IN the blink of an eye. After going through this week, I'm more than happy to spend a night of drinking and hanging out with friends at Zayn's house. Amelia and I have actually managed to get pretty close, and even Charlotte has been getting along with her. Charlotte's friends, on the other hand, check out Zayn too much for Amelia's liking.

  "Whatever, Easton," his girlfriend Kennedy snaps. "You know, one of these days, I'm going to get really tired of coming in second place to your fucking ex all the time."

  She gives Amelia a sorrowful smile before grabbing her coat and leaving. Meanwhile, Easton groans and grabs a beer before heading toward the back deck. I look over at Zayn, who can only seem to shake his head.

  "What the hell was that about?" I question.

  Zayn sighs. "Let's just say Easton never really got over a certain brunette."

  My brows furrow as I try to figure out what he's talking about, until it clicks. "Oh my God. You're not referring to Tessa Callahan, are you?"

  "You know her?" Amelia asks.

  I nod. "We went to high school together. I mean, we weren't exactly friends, but I heard she's practically engaged to some quarterback now."

  "She is," Zayn answers. "But her and Easton have a lot of history, and while he seemed to move on with Kennedy, I don't think he ever fully let go of her."

  Amelia crosses her arms over her chest. "Well, he's being an idiot. I mean, I love Tess as much as the rest of you, but Kennedy deserves better."

  No one tries to tell her she's wrong, because she's not. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to always feel like you're not good enough, and that they miss what they had more than they enjoy having you.

  A LITTLE WHILE LATER, Jace comes up and wraps his arms around me from behind. I smile brightly and tilt my head to the side to give him some space. He hums against me and brings his lips to my ear.

  "I want you," he whispers.

  My eyes widen just slightly. "Here? Now?"

  Nodding, he releases me and grabs my hand. He pulls me up the stairs and into a bedroom that I've never seen before. I look around and realize it must be a guest room, because there’s nothing personal at all about the space. Jace, however, couldn't care less about where we are, because he immediately shuts the door and pushes me up against it.

  "Fuck, Paige," he moans, but just as I go to kiss him, I feel like something is off.

  "Wait," I tell him.

  I push him back a little and look him over. He tries to avoid my gaze until I grab his face and force him to look at me. His eyes are glassy, and judging by the way dread fills his expression, I'm right.

  "Oh my God!" I shove him away from me. "You're fucking high."

  He throws his head back and groans. "Paige."

  "No," I snap. "Don't fucking Paige me. You told me less than a fucking week ago that you would try to stop!"

  "And I tried! I couldn't do it!"

  I place a hand on my hip and look him up and down with utter disgust. "You didn't try. A few days isn't fucking trying."

  Not caring what he has to say, I turn around and swing the door open before marching out into the hallway. I make my way down the stairs and out the door before I realize he's following me. It isn't until I get out to the sidewalk that I hear his voice.

  "Paige, just wait. Okay?"

  I stop and turn around to face him. "What, Jace? What is it? What excuse are you going to give me? Did you accidentally take another one? Or seven for that matter? What the fuck is it?"

  He looks hurt for a second but quickly masks it over. "You know what? Fine. Go. Get out of here."

  "What?"

  Throwing his hands in the air, it looks like he's completely giving up. "That's what you were going to do anyway, wasn't it? So, just go! You'll be better off without me anyway."

  Hearing the brutal honesty in his words threatens to break me. "Why would you think that?"

  "Why wouldn't I?" he roars. "It's the truth. I'm a mess. A fucked-up shell of a man who can't do one fucking thing right, aren't I? I can't keep you happy. I can't make my parents believe there's nothing wrong with me. I can't even sleep at night. You'd be better off with someone who isn't such a goddamn mess."

  He sits down on the step and cradles his head in his hands, and I can't resist going over to him, no matter how mad I am.

  "You should leave." As soon as I take a seat next to him, I pull him into me, and he goes willingly, in spite of his words.

  I shake my head and press my lips to the top of his head. "I'm not leaving you. I won't. Not like this."

  The realization of how broken he really is hits me like a truck, and my mom's words from earlier this week start to run through my mind. She was right. I'm going to find a way to help him.

  I have to.

  Do you ever feel like you hit a point where everything is either going to fall to pieces or not, and you just want it over and done? Like, you don't want it to happen, but it needs to, and it's going to be a pivotal point for you regardless of what you do? I feel like that was Zayn's party.

  The fight I had with Paige is not one I'm proud of. I never in a million years intended on letti
ng her know how fucked up I really am. In all honesty, I tried really hard to hide that part of me from her, but that night, I couldn't do it.

  Watching her walk out that door scared the shit out of me. The anger and disappointment on her face was enough to knock the damn wind out of me. And the only option I had was to tell her the truth–that I'm no fucking good for her.

  I thought she would leave me. She should have run for the fucking hills and never looked back. But she didn't. She saw me breaking right in front of her, and she stayed just to hold me together. There isn't a thing anyone can say that would convince me I deserve her, but I'm also not going to push her away if she's willing to say.

  Call me a selfish son of a bitch, I don't care.

  I need her.

  WE WALK INTO MY room after going out to lunch, and before we head over to her parent's house, I know I need another pill. It's not that being around her parents is something I can't handle without being high. I actually enjoy their company. It's just that if I go too long without, the anxiety creeps in.

  Paige watches as I pull the bottle out from its hiding place and grab one. Still, as much as she doesn't try to stop me from taking them anymore, I turn away so she doesn't actually see me do it. To be honest, I'm ashamed of it. I mean, I went and got a drug problem. That's nothing to be proud of. But if I had to choose between taking a pill or dealing with the hell that goes on in my mind on a daily basis, I'll pick the pills every day of the week.

  Once I'm done, I put them back and change my shirt real quick. As I turn to Paige, there's something off about her, but when I press my lips to hers, she turns right back into the girl I remember.

  EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE going perfectly, so it's only fitting that shit needs to hit the fan. And it's not even me or Paige that causes it. It's fucking Carter. He spends days watching Paige and me, and each time he gets a little more irritated with it all. Until finally, he snaps.

  We're sitting on the couch watching some stupid show of people trying to do this nearly impossible obstacle course, only to wipe out, when Carter gets home. He looks over at us, and I only glance back at him for a second, before pulling Paige closer to my side. She giggles at something on the screen, but then Carter walks around and stands directly in front of the TV.