The Complete Poems of A R Ammons, Volume 2
Page 45
placid, it meets and engages into
_________
ease: warm, soothing ministrations:
but the negative emotions—envy,
greed, aggression—are sharp drives:
1625devise an economy to engage and
express these, and the economy
bristles, the high polish of desire
used up in making: an economy is
the means by which the undesirable
1630is transformed into the desirable:
the nobel prize for nobility is
surely mine: I simply will not let
things go bad: I push tragedy aside
or try to to clear the way for a
1635touch more hope: I mount the hope
on the high, jeweled sway of elephants
and ride through the streets casting
gold coins about: people, I cry, O
people, I say, try to get over it;
1640check dawn out; put in a fall garden;
boil the water; keep your peter
clean; listen, it’s not over yet—
the fat lady had a bad cold, another
is besent for: things will change:
1645you may even learn to live with what
has already happened: that will be
a new start: oh, yes, if I rouse
_________
the rabble they will cry me up till
I win a sizable nobility that will
1650sustain me in luxury as long as I live:
let’s be realistic
33
I feel it is so necessary to get
ahead of somebody and so unkind to
do so (and humiliating not to):
1655maybe that’s why I feel more ex
than dis (tinguished, I mean): I
can’t go right straight down the road:
a wheel comes off and runs across a
pond: the hood flaps away to Mars:
1660the seats disjoint into ticketed
areas by a theater: pretty soon, I’m
riding a chassis like a Greek chariot
plunging downhill to a bifurcation:
no, I have a lot of trouble with
1665singleness of purpose or precision
of direction: I want to roll up the
whole landscape like a piece of
oilcloth and take it with me: this
means I encounter fullness: well,
1670more than an armful or chariot tare:
(I should use an unusual word
_________
occasionally—unusual is a funny
looking word, though (ain’t it):
34
I see the eye-level silver shine of
1675the axe blade the big neighbor carried
at our house at dawn, and I see the
child carried off in arms to the woods,
see the sapling split and the child
passed through and the tree bound
1680back: as the tree knits, the young
rupture heals: so, great mother of
the muses, let me forget the sharp
edge of the lit blade and childish
unknowing, the trees seeming from
1685our motion loose in motion, the deep
mysteries playing through the ritual:
let me forget that and so much: let
me who knows so little know less:
alas, though: feeling that is so
1690fleeting is carved in stone across
the gut: I can’t float or heave it
out: it has become a foundation:
whatever is now passes like early
snow on a warm boulder: but the
1695boulder over and over is revealed,
_________
its grainy size and weight a glare:
rememberers of loveliness, ruddy
glees, how you cling to memory, while
haunted others sweat and wring out
1700the nights and haste about stricken
through the days: tell me about it:
the truth laid bare is a woman laid
bare: nowhere does the language
provide the truth humped bare, as
1705with a man: the language travels
close to the bone: sometimes when
you’re up against it a few bucks will
get you all the way in: already
top-heavy with bloom, the chrysanthemum
1710in the yard pot has sprawled broadside
with snow: I hope the pot didn’t
crack: that’s a nice pot: the
flat-out truth: why am I always
afflicted with things you can’t find
1715like “the poetry section”: “pets”
is plain enough, and “young readers”
and “occult”: tucked away in a
subdivision of a nook is the poetry
section: sure, you find it: but
1720the salesgirl in the 30%-off section
revealed a slight swell lateral to
_________
the cleavage, but in the 75%-off
section, shaving (or plucking) was
notable along the delta edge: I was
1725never so pleased in my life: I
bought everything (though I was
actually looking for a book on rhyme
—no such luck): but I love women
so much, even the way you can talk
1730them into duplicity, I mean their
melting spirituality, like the
rose-warmth of nursing, just moves
me so much, I feel like saying,
please excuse me, but are you sure
1735it would be all right if I mounted
you: that harsh and greedy move,
with wholesome respect not sufficiently
acknowledged, and the entire enterprise
not sufficiently floated in tenderness?
1740I don’t know about you, but I think
tenderness can be observed even in
the eagerest strokes, so that when
it gets rough it’s just as free and
easy as playing with the wind: I
1745bought a pair of shoes for ice: a
gritty or cusp-crested sole suctions
the slick: the man behind me, a
_________
young fellow with his wife, had an
extra $2 coupon he gave me: can
1750you imagine: I wished him and her a
Happy Thanksgiving, I was that
thankful: this strip is so narrow:
a rhythm cannot unwind across it:
it cracks my shoulder blades with
1755pressing confinement: the next time
I take up prosody, I’m not going to
take up this
35
the poet’s wandering finds another
way, but just the thread of another
1760way, not a path, road, or superhighway;
not an airstrip or launching pad—
and that’s why the so-called
Emersonian self is not “imperial”—
the solitary self is alone in the
1765world with a consciousness directed
toward all but by only one, one little
guy seeing and saying, not speaking
through the megaphones of public
structures but if to anyone to another
1770alone, one to one: if those ones
add up to millions, still they are
single threads unbraided
36
she said, it’s hard to have hope
when there is no hope: she’d run
1775back and forth looking after people
till her legs wouldn’t work: she
would send her legs a message and they
either wouldn’t get it or wouldn’t
do it: she just lay there, poor
1780
thing: I told her to have hope: she
said there wasn’t any, or not enough
to pay much attention to: she died:
the adopted son she staked her life
on was shot dead by somebody at the
17857-11: just a month or so later:
she didn’t know about that: I reckon
she got off just in time: you’d be
surprised, though, how folks can get
over something like that and keep
1790on trucking, if they have legs: she
didn’t: nope: but she didn’t know
anything about the son: pretty
lucky: old lady
37
one types to please and appease, to
1795belay the furies, to charm the real
_________
and unreal threats into a kind of
growling submission: typing is this
ancient skill, now so rare it is as
if priestcraft, intoned knowledge in
1800the legend of words: this idle skill
is an offering, symbolic in kind,
a tribute to the makers of fear:
oh, we say, look at this typing:
note the actual ink, the pressure of
1805the keys against paper: isn’t that
we say, curious: don’t you find it
distracting: doesn’t it recall to
you old rich worlds you’ll be all
day recovering: meanwhile, we
1810typists will be eased enough to have
dinner, maybe take a nap: paranoia
is just a motive for operations, for
recognizing this and that and thinking
how this can deal with that: it is
1815a sharp acquisition of knowledge:
it gets you up to the plate: with
all the strikeouts, you may learn
to hit the ball: no telling what
you’ll be paid for that, and it was
1820all sort of magically accidental: you
were trying to do one thing when you
_________
did another they pay you for: is it
not better to be comfortable and
ignorant: then Love and Trust, arm
1825in arm, waltz by and assure us that
there is nothing to fear, that, indeed,
the people like to look at our typing
just because they like to: they have
so much friendly feeling they delight
1830even in the fearful mirages your
typing rigs up: think of that:
it was all the time all a show: it
gave energy to the occasions: it was
something to consider: but, of course,
1835you know, some loves are despised and
some trust is deceptive: separating
out the threads of reality, you may
become entangled and fearful: you
may have to override caution in order
1840to believe in love, to make a, as
they say, commitment: appearances
dress reality in different
guises: so, you are asking, what is
my advice: my advice is, it’s not
1845going to be easy, or else it is going
to be so easy you won’t even know
it’s happening: take a chance, stay
_________
alert, have faith: how do you do
this: I have no idea: you “work it
1850out?” you remain compliant, yielding,
assertive, angry, grateful, cautious,
and type a lot: you can’t type
without dealing with the roller, the
return carriage, the space bar, the
1855margins, the ribbon, the paper, the
keys—not to mention thoughts and
feelings: so it requires some attention:
the great thing about attention is
that you basically have only one and
1860when it is occupied it is hard to
preoccupy it, and that is why they
say the merciful Lord gives us only
one thing to deal with at a time;
that’s because we can pay attention
1865to only one thing at a time: you
may hurt in a dozen places, but when
your mind settles on one place, the
other places retreat, distally vague,
unvisited: choose the positive
1870where it can be found or invented:
for no reason but that it feels
better than choosing the negative:
but choosing is not easy: you have
_________
to work at it little by little: one
1875little bit enables another, so the
effect builds up and you wake up one
morning calm, at peace, or happy:
at least, one hopes so: do the best
you can, do
38
1880logs, limbs, and branches lying by,
tugged off the street: the side of
the street looks like the aftermath
of a logging: but today, oh, today,
the temperature has gone to 37 (that’s
1885Fahrenheit, son) and drip-drops are
falling everywhere, the birch slips
arching upward out of their burdens,
readying to snap their tresses loose
from the ground: you know, that
1890dense ramification of twigs birch
go off into: goodness, if you could
just throw poetry away the way ice
crystals fall out of the trees:
imagine if there could be so many
1895shiny centers in the, yep, setting
sun (actually, it’s still about an
hour up): oh, if only the brook
_________
could not make any sound unless it
were filed away in the museum: the
1900wind when it blows, and lately it
hasn’t, shouldn’t be allowed to
trifle with so many leaves: and I
mean leaves, because believes it or
not, leaves are still on the trees!
1905snow came before frost this year,
hard frost I mean: so over by the
hill next to the bridge, snow bent
leaves over the road as for an arcade:
the traffic had to one-line
1910and slow as through a tunnel: it was
most remarkable, like reading a poem
by Stevens, somewhat brittle, and
truly trees were cracking and splitting
with loud report and hissy-splits:
1915there is just so much to learn: so
much: one thing you could count
is the birds: they’ve flown: up and
left: no song: and the crows play
with air currents but silently like
1920monks swimming in the pond, or monkeys
in the hot springs: this is the
fourth day
39
the petunias are, this morning,
bewept with dew: they focus intensely
1925downward, their pale undersides topside,
overarching flops: still, but, yet,
indeed, it’s rained, in a summer of
the least rainfall ever, the lawns
ghastly dry, some leaves falling before
1930fall, the lilacs crinkled yellow,
the ivy ever sere: fungus and mold,
I suppose, have been put to rout:
that’s probably good long term for
roots and general soil condition:
1935but the ground cover (pachysandra)
looks wilted: so when
I got up this morning and saw
reflecting pools of rain out along
the road’s edge, I did a passamezzo:
1940there�
�s a breadperson down at the
market I could look at all day: you
may think I have said breadperson
because I shouldn’t say breadman or
because I wouldn’t want my wife to
1945know if it’s a breadwoman: I can’t
say one way or the other because
_________
that would be gender differentiation
and might suggest that looks have