Up in Flames

by Kira Sinclair

  Her sex glistened with desire, begging him to bring them together, bury himself deep inside her.

  Lifting her arms up, Lola beckoned to him. “Come here.” And he couldn’t deny either of them any longer. Erik positioned himself at the opening of her sex.

  He planned to take it slow, but Lola had other ideas. Pushing up into him, she begged, “Hurry,” spreading wide and pulling him in several inches.

  And that was all she wrote. A single taste of her heat surrounding him and everything else faded to nothing. He couldn’t stop his hips from driving forward, from claiming her with one, sure thrust.

  Lola’s back arched, her eyes closing in bliss. “God, yes.”

  Nope, that wasn’t going to work for him. “Lola, look at me.” He wanted her eyes on him as they came together and fell apart.

  She obeyed, finding his gaze with her own ecstasy-blurred stare. Pleasure suffused her skin, making it glow and burn. Erik leaned down and nipped at her jaw, lips and throat even as he thrust in and out.

  He found a rhythm so good he struggled to keep his eyes from rolling back into his head. He wouldn’t give in to the impulse, not when he wanted to watch Lola break apart in his arms.

  Her hands skittered over his body, aimless and needy. Like she wanted any piece of him she could get. A feeling Erik understood all too well because he wanted the same thing.

  The hot clasp of her sex clenched tight around him. He could feel the flutters deep inside as her body strained for the orgasm they both craved.

  “Erik. Oh, God. Erik,” she panted. Again and again, their bodies connected, spiraling higher and higher. He could see Lola’s urgency and determination, her greedy need for more, and didn’t blame her. He’d have given anything to make these moments with her last forever.

  “Let go, Lola.”

  She shook her head, her wild curls spinning up in a cloud around them. “Too good,” she groaned.

  Her nails clawed into his shoulder, drawing pain and probably blood. Reaching back for her, he tangled their fingers together, ignoring her whimper when he had to stop for a few seconds.

  Bringing their joined hands beside her head, he changed the angle of his hips and stroked long and sure inside her. Lola’s entire body tightened, and she couldn’t stifle the guttural noise that erupted.

  She stared at him through sightless eyes, her mouth forming silent, begging words that he wanted to hear and feel.

  “Lola, come,” he demanded, plunging deep.

  She trembled, teetering at the edge of an abyss for several breathless seconds before finally tipping over. Every muscle in her body contracted and then pulsed in wave after wave of bliss.

  Her sex clamped tight around him, massaging him in a way he couldn’t fight. His own orgasm tingled up from his toes and exploded out of his brain, or at least it felt that way. Everything went black before bright colors burst across his vision.

  Erik didn’t remember collapsing onto the bed beside Lola. Or gathering her up into his arms as she mewled softly beside him, her body still quivering from aftershocks that rocked him, too.

  He wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way—long enough for sweat to dry and leave his skin chilled. Finally Lola pushed onto her elbows. Curls fell into her face. Reaching up, Erik smoothed them back so he could see her.

  She stared at him, a little dazed. But there was something familiar in her gaze. Emotion that made his gut twist with a hope he was so afraid of feeling.

  Because he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her. But the more time he spent with Lola, the more he began to worry that no longer mattered.

  He’d walked away from her once because it was the right thing to do—for her, for him.

  Could she forgive him? Could they forget the past?

  God, he wanted that...but he just didn’t know.

  10

  LOLA WOKE UP with a strange energy buzzing beneath her skin. It roughly resembled joy, but that couldn’t be from falling asleep and waking up next to Erik. She’d done that several times now.

  It was funny. They’d never actually done much sleeping in the same bed when they were dating. She’d still lived at home, commuting to college in Charleston for the first couple of years to save money and be close to him. She’d moved after Erik left because she’d needed the change of scenery to help her adjust.

  Waking up beside him could seriously become addictive. The warmth of him wrapped around her, his scent even better than the smell of coffee. And hardly anything topped coffee.

  Which was why Lola forced herself to get out of bed and start her day. But even that felt...strangely normal. The two of them shared the bathroom, and their movements as they scooted around each other felt like a well-choreographed routine they’d been practicing for years.

  Without any real discussion, Erik followed her out the door, dropped a kiss onto her mouth and then watched as she pulled out of the driveway. Because he’d mentioned it last night, she knew he intended to spend some time with his mom today before heading over to the station to see the guys. He’d picked up a shift tomorrow, so afterward he would probably end up sleeping at his mom’s place instead of hers. He didn’t want to disturb her when he got up early.

  Lola tried not to let disappointment creep in. This was a good thing. They needed some time apart. In fact, that was what she was going to do with today. Clear her head and get it back on straight.

  Because last night had been...intense. In a way that had felt much bigger than anything they’d ever shared before. When Erik was close, he was all she could think of, all she could see, hear and taste.

  But that wasn’t smart. She was falling head over heels.

  There, she’d admitted it.

  Which was also pretty stupid. So...she needed distance.

  She had a full slate with two toddler shoots this morning followed by a senior portrait session in the afternoon and her first doctor’s appointment sandwiched between.

  Her first appointment.

  Even the thought of it made her slightly giddy. She knew, in every fiber of her being, that she was pregnant. She felt it to her core and had several pink lines on test sticks to prove it. But a small part of her wouldn’t quite believe it until she heard the doctor talk about due dates and prenatal care.

  The morning flew by, and for the first time in days, she wasn’t dragged down by exhaustion, which, considering how she’d spent her evening, was surprising. Maybe earth-shattering sex was the key she’d been missing to feeling good.

  She got some amazingly beautiful and adorable shots with the kids at each session and even managed to convince one mom to get into the frame. Lola was excited to share the exuberance and love that she’d captured from behind her lens.

  She was packing her camera back into the protective case when Colt rolled into the room. “If you don’t leave in the next fifteen minutes, you’re going to be late. Is Erik meeting you at the doctor’s office?”

  Lola glanced up, but went immediately back to what she was doing. “Erik isn’t coming.”

  “What?” Colt’s voice boomed through the room. “Why the hell wouldn’t he want to come to your first appointment? I’m going to kick his ass.”

  “Simmer down, Ali. No one’s kicking any ass today. He isn’t coming because I didn’t tell him.”

  Colt rolled closer, bumping her softly on the leg with the edge of his chair. It was a trick he used when he wanted her undivided attention. “Excuse me?”

  She shrugged, glancing at her brother and then away again. Guilt she didn’t want to feel burst through her. “I didn’t tell him. Look, the reality is, he’ll be leaving soon, and I’ll be doing this mostly on my own. Better to start out the way I plan to continue.”

  After last night she’d needed breathing room.

  “Better for whom, Lo
la Marie? Not Erik. Not the baby.”

  Lola yanked the zipper on her camera bag and shoved it away from her, grateful for the protective layers inside when it skidded off the other end of the table and toppled to the floor.

  “Don’t judge me, Colt. I’m doing the best I can here with a less than ideal situation.”

  “Maybe you should have thought of that before you let Erik spend the night at your house all week.”

  Lola dropped her head back. She didn’t need this. Not right now. Spearing her brother with a sharp gaze, she said, “He’s the one who left, Colt. And he’s the one who’ll leave again. I was shattered before. I’ll do whatever I need to in order to keep myself from ending up worse this time.”

  A strangled sob vibrated through her throat. She hadn’t been aware it was coming but somehow managed to keep it from erupting.

  “Lo,” Colt whispered, running his hands down her arms. “Maybe it’s time to forgive him for his mistake six years ago and give him the benefit of the doubt.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t do that, Colt.” Her words were thick with tears. “If I do, I won’t be leaving myself anywhere to hide when this goes south. And it will. We both know he’ll leave. Maybe not in a few days, but eventually. That’s what he’s good at now, right?”

  Colt’s mouth thinned, and an unhappy line formed between his brows. “That was a long time ago, Lo. Maybe he’s changed, grown up. He has you and a baby on the way, two good reasons to deal with the demons chasing him.”

  “That’s not what you said several days ago.”

  Colt shook his head, sadness filling his eyes. “What I said several days ago was my attempt to protect you, Lo. But you made a choice to let him back in. That has consequences...for you and for him.”

  No. She couldn’t listen to this. Not right now. She was too vulnerable to let hope take root and bloom. “He left, Colt. Not just me, but you. When you needed him most. I can’t trust him to be here for me, for my family.”

  Wrapping his arms around her waist, Colt pulled her down until she was curled up in his lap, her head cradled against his shoulder.

  “That man has always loved you, Lola. Never once have I doubted that. I think, more than concentrating on how he failed us, maybe it’s time to ask how we failed him.”

  Lola reared back, staring at her brother like he’d grown two heads. “Are you insane? You were lying in a hospital bed, one he was at least partly responsible for putting you in. Exactly how did we fail him?”

  Colt squeezed her hand. “My accident was not his fault, Lola. I made my own decision that night, a decision I would make again and again even knowing the outcome. I don’t blame him, so why do you?”

  She sniffed. She’d heard Colt and her father yelling about what happened that night, both of them angry at themselves and each other. Her father had given a direct order that both Colt and Erik ignored, returning to a building on the verge of collapse because a sobbing eight-year-old covered in soot stood on the sidewalk, knowing his father was trapped inside. They’d rescued the man, Erik carrying him to safety. Colt had been right behind him, but not close enough to avoid being hit by debris when the roof finally gave way.

  Her father had been miserable and angry. Colt had been resigned and strong, accepting the consequences of his own actions with a resilience that often baffled Lola.

  To hear him say he wouldn’t change anything made her so proud and angry at the same time.

  That night, her brother and boyfriend had sacrificed so much to save a father. They’d made the choice knowing what could happen.

  Lola’s problem was, they weren’t the only ones who’d sacrificed that night. And the rest of them had no choice in the matter.

  “He’s hurting, Lo, and has been for years. I was lucky. I had you and Dad. My doctors and counselors. Erik, because he felt guilty and still does, ripped himself away from everyone who could help him deal with what happened. Have you ever wondered why he threw himself into a job that has a high statistical risk of injury and death? And after he left Sweetheart, hell, Lo, he went out and found the single most dangerous thing he could do with the experience he already had.

  “And we let him leave. None of us went after him. Not you, not me, not Dad. He was a part of our family for years but we let him just walk away. When I was spiraling down into depression, lashing out and drinking too much, what did you do?”

  She’d knocked some sense into him, literally. Tossing an empty beer can at his head in a fit of anger that she was still embarrassed about. But her actions had finally worked and he’d gotten help. Agreed to counseling and found a direction for his life that she would forever be grateful for.

  “Exactly,” he murmured. “But no one did that for him. Which only reinforced his idea that he didn’t deserve to be rescued.”

  Shit.

  Colt’s words ripped straight through her. They tore at her defenses and arguments, leaving her heart wide open and vulnerable.

  Because she knew he was right.

  Pulling her down again, Colt pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Enough deep thoughts for today. You have an appointment to get to.”

  * * *

  ERIK WALKED INTO the studio. The space always made him smile because it was just so Lola. Eclectic and beautiful. He could see touches of her personality in the beige-and-turquoise walls, a perfect backdrop to the photographs that always seemed to be changing.

  “Be right with you,” Colt hollered from the back.

  “No rush, man. I’m here to take Lola to lunch.”

  Colt rolled down the hallway and into the open, airy front room. “Is she aware of that?” he asked, a single eyebrow disappearing into his hairline in a question that already seemed to have an answer.

  “No, I wanted to surprise her,” Erik said, drawing out the words because he was starting to feel that might not have been a smart idea.

  “Oh, she’s going to be surprised,” Colt said, his mouth twisting. “But then, I guess you will be, too.”

  His dry words hinted this surprise wasn’t going to be a good one. “Where is she?”

  “At the doctor’s.”

  Everything in Erik stilled and then went blazing fast. He started to grab for his keys in his pocket. “Why the hell didn’t someone call me? What’s wrong? Where?”

  “Calm down, man. She’s fine, and as far as I know, the baby is, too. She had her first appointment with the ob-gyn today.”

  “What?”

  Erik’s eyebrows slammed together, and his brain spun. They’d showered together this morning. Shared breakfast and gotten dressed in the same room. Not once did she mention having an appointment today.

  Why the hell wouldn’t she have told him?

  Erik didn’t realize he’d voiced the question aloud until Colt answered.

  “Because she’s scared shitless, Erik. She’s afraid to let you into any part of her life because if she does, she’s going to fall in love with you all over again and get her heart broken.”

  Well, hell. What was he supposed to say to that?

  This whole thing scared him, too. But he’d thought they were navigating their way through. Last night he’d never felt closer to her. Closer to anyone, really. And that was saying a lot, considering how close they’d been years ago.

  But this time...there was something different in the way they’d interacted. Something deeper than had been there when they started dating as teenagers.

  That had meant a lot to him. But apparently, not to her. Or not enough.

  “I can see the storm brewing in that brain of yours,” Colt said. “And you might not be in any frame of mind to listen to advice, but I’m gonna give it anyway. Talk to her. Don’t yell and get angry. Talk to her.”

  Erik had no idea how that was going to work. He could feel the anger, mixed with
a healthy dose of hurt, filling his chest, ready to explode.

  Maybe if he’d had a few minutes to calm down, he could have found some reason, but when the bell above the door chimed and he turned to see Lola walking into the studio, any hope he’d had of getting a grasp on his temper evaporated.

  “Erik. What are you doing here? I didn’t expect to see you until tonight.” Her breezy tone was more than he could take.

  “Obviously. Is that when you were going to tell me about your appointment?”

  Lola’s gaze jerked to Colt’s, her eyes narrowing with accusation.

  Her brother held up his hands. “Don’t give me that look. He came to take you to lunch. I wasn’t going to lie to him.”

  “Of course not,” she said, the words quick and unequivocal.

  Colt’s chair rolled back and then sideways as he headed for the front door. “I’m suddenly dying for a burger from the diner. I’ll be back in...yeah, whenever I think it’s safe or the police show up, whichever happens first. Don’t kill each other.”

  Erik didn’t even bother to flick Colt a glance as he left, his gaze zeroed on Lola. “What the hell?” he asked, proud at the modulated tone he managed.

  “Look, I just—” she whirled away, her arms crossing in front of her middle “—didn’t want you there today, okay?”

  “No, it isn’t okay, Lola. I had a right to be there.”

  “No, no, you didn’t.” Her hand slapped over her mouth. “I didn’t mean that,” she mumbled around her fingers.

  “Oh, I think you did. And I’m pretty sure it’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  A choked sound erupted from her throat. Sinking onto a nearby velvet couch, Lola dropped her head against its curved back, squeezing her eyes shut. “What are we doing, Erik?” she asked without even opening them.

  When he didn’t answer, she finally looked at him. The exhaustion and defeat stamped across every feature went a long way toward tempering his churning emotions.

  “This,” she wagged a finger between them. “What are we doing?”

  It was pretty much the same question Colt had just asked him, and he didn’t have any better answer now than he had a few minutes ago. “I don’t know, Lola.”