Agent Undone

by Cassidy Reyne

  With his bag packed and the house locked up, he jumped in the car and started it with a roar. In a cloud of dust from the sand covering the driveway he steered the Jeep up the long lane towards the main road. His hands held the wheel in a deathgrip, and he gritted his teeth so hard his jaw ached and locked painfully. As the lane widened just before it joined the blacktop, he threw a glance in the rearview mirror, but all he could see was the house and the dark shadows it cast over the beach. He tore his gaze away and focused on the road ahead. A curse flew out of his mouth and he slammed on the breaks, causing the truck to fishtail in the loose sand as a small figure materialized in front of him.

  “Maddie? What the hell are you doing? I almost hit you! Do you have a death wish or something?” Carter growled out loud at her. He saw her wince and her eyes fill with fear and immediately regretted his tone, but he was too close to losing control to be able to rein it in. “What are you doing here? If you came back for another tumble between the sheets, you’re too late. I’m done. We’re done. I don’t appreciate being left without so much as a goodbye. After what we shared, I think I deserved at least a quick note on the breakfast table. You chose to steal out like a thief in the night, instead.” His voice rose in hurt, disappointment and anger. He hated himself for it but could no longer keep his emotions in check. Something had to give. “What the hell, Maddie? I thought we had something special but clearly, I was wrong!” The words erupted from his throat, stinging and burning as they fell.

  Madison stood frozen to the spot, a blank, shuttered expression on her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but Carter could barely hear her. The blood was rushing in his ears and his heart thumped so loudly he would swear it could be heard over the engine of his truck.

  “No. You don’t get to this to me. I’ve had enough of men shouting and telling me how I think, how I feel. I’m not letting you do it as well. I’d rather be alone than suffer an overbearing, angry and aggressive man again. I deserve better than that! I am better than that.” Her voice was eerily calm, but somehow it penetrated the storm in Carter’s head. He stared into her eyes as she stood firm a few feet away from him.

  “Well, you won’t have to suffer my anger and aggression any longer. I’m out!” He jumped out of the car, holding back a grunt as he landed awkwardly and twisted his knee. Ignoring the pain, he stormed back towards the house and out on the beach where he sank down on the damp sand. He pulled his knees up to his chest and fought to get his breathing and his emotions under control. The sound of the ocean filled his head and slowly he wrestled his anger down to a more manageable level. It still burned like hot coals in his belly, but he was finally able to think more clearly. Fuck! What the hell have I done? I lost it. I completely lost it! Why the fuck did I shout at her? Jeez, man. You are a complete and utter asshole. You don’t deserve her and you sure as hell don’t have the right to treat her that way. Hasn’t she been hurt enough without you piling your shit on her as well? Fuuuuuuck!

  Carter shoved his hands through his hair and stood up. His left leg throbbed, but he welcomed the pain. It helped to distract him from the ache in his heart. He walked to the water’s edge and stood staring out at the ocean. The sun shone brightly and there were only a few wisps of cloud in the blue skies. With agonizing slowness, Carter’s mind cleared, and he saw in stark reality exactly what he had done. A cold shudder went through him and he turned on his heel and sprinted back up past the house that had become like a home to him. He reached the top of the driveway where his truck was still parked, but there was no sign of Madison. Her bag lay abandoned by the edge of the road and Carter bent down to pick it up. He was too late, and he only had himself to blame for his mistakes. His anger flared again, but now it was just aimed at himself, his own stupidity.

  “Carter?” His name, barely whispered behind him made his head snap up. Maddie. She was still here. She hadn’t left. Did he still have a chance? No, he’d been a bastard and he knew it. The best he could hope for was that she didn’t hate him. For too long, anyway.

  “Madison? I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at you. I was just hurt and confused. I should have just listened to you instead of lashing out like that. Please, Maddie, forgive me. I won’t bother you again, but I need you to know how sorry I am. It doesn’t change what I did or said, but at least you know.” He turned and faced the woman who had had such an impact on his life in a very short time. “I don’t blame you for leaving. I wish you would have said something, but I completely overreacted. That’s on me.” He let out a shaky breath, then clamped his mouth shut in case he said something to wreck things again. He’d never been very good with emotions and now they were running riot through his whole body. His nerves were standing on end from the electric current of the onslaught and it terrified him.

  Madison stood silently waiting for him to overcome his struggle with the words that seemed to want to fall from his lips in a wild torrent. She took a few steps closer until she stood only a couple of feet away from him. He imagined he could feel the heat from her body and taste her kiss on his lips. He held his breath, hoping she would say something, expecting her to run.

  “I’m so sorry, Carter. I didn’t mean to walk out. I was just… overwhelmed, I guess. You made me feel things I had only ever dreamed of, and I needed some space to breathe. I had hoped I could go back before you woke up, but I lost myself for a little while. I understand why you reacted the way you did, there’s no need for forgiveness. Just, please, don’t shout like that. I can’t… it reminds me of… the anger terrifies me. Really, really terrifies me.” A large tear formed in the corner of her eye and slowly flowed down her cheek. Carter swore under his breath. He hated himself for being the cause of her tears. They always cut straight through to his heart. Women’s tears should not be allowed unless they were of joy, or ecstasy. He felt all his anger seep out, and he was left with a deep sadness and overwhelming heartache.

  “Where did you go? It’s Christmas and I wanted to wake up with you in my arms. I was hoping to make you fall apart again, and again.” Carter hung his head, afraid of looking at her in case his misery showed, and she ended up feeling sorry for him. He didn’t want her pity. He wanted her love. There, he’d admitted it. At least to himself. He still didn’t know how she felt or what she wanted. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to know. He looked up again and searched her eyes for answers. Her face had gone pale and uncertain. A shudder went through her body as she drew in a breath and opened her mouth to speak. Carter felt his throat constrict, waiting for her to tell him it was all over and that she wanted nothing more to do with him. The bag in his hand dropped to the ground with a dull thud.

  “Do you think there are any jobs for a realtor with no experience in Virginia Beach? I was planning on moving there to be with this amazing guy I just had the most incredible sex with.” Insecurity made her voice shake, but hope lit a glow in her eyes. Carter’s mouth fell open. Did she just say she wanted to go with him to Virginia? The smile on her gorgeous face and the sparkle in her emerald eyes told him he’d heard her right. A huge grin exploded on his face and he closed the gap between them in one stride. His hands settled on her hips and he pulled her tight against him.

  “You really mean that? You want to come with me? What about your writing?”

  “I can write anywhere. Besides, when I’ve finished this latest series, I think I want to leave all this behind. I have helped set things in motion to make it better for women at risk. Someone else can take over and carry it forward.”

  “I’m sure every realtor in the whole state of Virginia would be happy to have you. If not, we keep moving till you find your dream job. I don’t care where we live as long as I’m with you.” A burning fire spread through his chest as she pressed herself closer to him. His body instantly hardened in response. The effect she had on him was immediate and filled his mind and soul. He cupped the back of her head with his hand and drew her even closer. With his lips almost touching her he whispered, “Please
, don’t leave me again, I don’t think I can survive it. I love you so much,” while his thumb swept across her luscious lips. He pressed his mouth to hers and was rewarded with her tongue sweeping in and tangling with his own. His erection swelled to gigantic proportions and strained to be released from its prison, but it would have to be patient as he had no intention of fucking things up again by rushing her.

  “I love you, too. I’m never leaving again, unless you ask me to.” She breathed the words into his mouth.

  Carter’s head swirled madly in every direction and he felt himself pulling her tighter, so he had something to hold onto. Was this it? Had he finally found the one woman he could form a real relationship with? The kind he had always dreamed of, but never thought he could have. The kind he’d thought was lost forever when Mira died? He now understood that what he’d had with Mira would never have lasted. She’d been too much of a fly-by-night and he wasn’t, no matter how much he’d pretended to be. With Madison, he no longer had to pretend. He could be himself and know in his heart he was loved for it. The same way he loved her for all she was and all she would become. A deep-seated sense of truth settled in his bones, in his heart. This was all very new, but it would last. She was it for him and he would never give her up willingly unless she no longer wanted him. He would be her best friend, her lover, her protector, her everything, and she was his. From now on he wanted all strings attached.

  THE END

  A Note To You From Cassidy

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for reading Carter and Madison’s story. I really hope you loved it as much as I do. If you wouldn't mind taking a minute or two out of your time and leave a short review by following one of the links below, it would mean the world to me. It doesn’t have to be long, a few sentences would do or a simple star rating. Reviews are incredibly important for authors, especially indie ones like me, and I would love to hear what you think of the book.

  Amazon US

  Amazon UK

  Goodreads

  If you’d like to get in touch, you can send me a message via my website or on social media.

  Thank you so much!

  Cassidy x.

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  Acknowledgments

  Where do I start? First and foremost, I have to thank my husband and my children for putting up with me always being behind the computer, jotting down notes, or researching where to hide the dead bodies. You are amazing and I couldn’t do this without your support.

  Then there’s Jodie, Kara and Michelle. You are always there for me, from morning till night. With you in my life, I can throw out crazy ideas, race off on a wild tangent, go on a rant, spill all my darkest secrets and know that you will understand perfectly and be right beside me every step of the way. At times, you’re even ahead!

  Kara and Jodie have also been my alpha/beta readers and they don’t hesitate to tell me when something sounds off or seems out of place.

  Michelle is my marketing guru. Marketing is something I avoid with a passion, but she is great at dragging me through it kicking and screaming till I give in and listen to her plan of action. Quite frankly, I should start with the listening and I wouldn’t have to tire myself out with the screaming and kicking.

  The editing was done by the wonderful Kelly of Spirit Editorial who very patiently guided me through the maze that is the use of commas in English grammar. I should know it, but I often choose to ignore the rules. She gave me so much advice and suggested changes to improve fluency and readability. This book wouldn’t be anywhere near as good without her support.

  I also need to say a huge thank you to Natalie from Original Book Cover Designs who created such a gorgeous cover for this book. She understood exactly what I wanted and came up with something a hundred times better. Her advice has been invaluable, and I am very grateful.

  I also have some wonderful real life friends who I truly value. Julia, Valika, Sue and Julie. I’m gonna keep you around for long while. Just saying.

  Lastly, but by no means the least, I want to thank my readers who take the time to live with my characters for a little while, cheering them on, reaching for tissues or wanting to give them a swift kick when they’re being idiots. I appreciate and thank you for your continued support.

  Cassidy xxx.

  About Cassidy Reyne

  Cassidy Reyne is the Alter Ego of a Swedish girl living in England. She’s been happily married for over 25 years and have two grown up children. She currently lives in South London, England, where she and her husband run their own business from home.

  She writes contemporary romance with some suspense thrown in for fun and excitement. Her novels The Sentinels — Saving Her and The Sentinels 2 — Saving him are both available from Amazon and in Kindle Unlimited

  When Cassidy isn’t writing she enjoys spending time with friends, reading, traveling, visiting her family on an island in Sweden, and drinking a glass or two of a good wine. Sometimes the wine is replaced with vodka or rum.

  Cocktails, anyone?

  If you would like to connect with her, you can visit her website or find her on several social media sites. Send her a message, like her page and give her a follow. She'd love to hear from you!

  Also By Cassidy Reyne

  The Sentinels — Saving Her

  The Sentinels 2 — Saving Him

  Coming in 2020

  The Sentinels 3