Better If He Goes (Always You Book 1)

by Allie Everhart

  "Why'd he take you to breakfast?" Brad asks.

  "He wanted to complain about his mom. She finally told him about her boyfriend."

  "And he didn't take it well."

  "No. He was mad she didn't tell him sooner and then he went on this rant about how everyone lies to him and he's sick of it."

  "People only lie to him because he acts like a child when they tell him the truth."

  "He doesn't get that. He thinks everyone's against him. I don't know what happened, but Nate's really changed. He's always complaining and jealous of everyone. He never used to be like that."

  "Nate's always been someone who's wanted things to work out exactly how he imagined. When they don't, he gets frustrated and blames other people instead of just figuring out a different solution."

  "But by doing that, he pushes people away."

  "Just give it time. He'll eventually find his way and then maybe you two will be friends again."

  "Maybe, although I doubt I'll hear from him much after he moves."

  "He got a job?"

  "Yeah. In Denver. It's the one he interviewed for like a month ago. They finally called him back and offered him the job. He starts September first."

  "Good for him. I'd call and congratulate him, but he'd probably hang up on me."

  Nate hasn't talked to Brad since he left. Brad's tried calling him and sending him texts, but Nate just ignores him.

  "I went out with Giada last night," I say.

  "Yeah. What's new with her?"

  "She's leaving soon too. She's going back to Dallas at the end of the month. I'm really going to miss her."

  "You guys can still be friends."

  "I know, but it won't be the same, not seeing her every day. She invited me to come over tomorrow night. Her roommate's making lasagna and they're watching movies."

  "Sounds fun."

  "It does, but I'm not sure if I'll go."

  "Why wouldn't you?"

  "I haven't been feeling that great."

  "Why? What's wrong?"

  "I've just been really tired. Probably because my mom keeps blasting the TV all night. Now that she doesn't have to get up for work, she stays up all night watching TV."

  "Tell her to turn it down."

  "I do, but she doesn't listen."

  "Go to Giada's tomorrow. It'll get you out of there for a few hours and you'll get to eat lasagna. You love lasagna." He pauses and I hear someone talking in the background. "Yeah, Mom, just a minute."

  "You need to go?"

  "My mom just needs help with some boxes. It can wait."

  "How's your mom dealing with this? Has she been..." I wait for him to say it.

  "Popping pills? Not that I know of. Haven't seen her drinking either. She's been doing pretty well, better than I thought she would. I think it's helped to have me here. And getting the house sold helped ease her stress."

  "Has she talked to your dad?"

  "He can't talk to us while he's in rehab, but she hasn't said anything bad about him. And she still hasn't filed for divorce. I'm thinking they might get back together."

  "Really?"

  "It's possible. If she wanted the divorce, she would've filed by now."

  "That's good news, right?"

  "Depends on if that's what they want. If they make each other happy, then yeah, I hope they stay together."

  Brad makes me happy. Happier than I've ever been. And yet we can't be together. Thinking about that makes me tear up, so I shove that thought away and try to think of something else. But it's all I can think about. Why did he have to leave? Why did he have to show up here in the first place? And why did I have to fall in love with him?

  "Riley, my mom keeps yelling at me to help. Can I call you back later?"

  "It's getting late. Why don't we just say goodnight? We can talk tomorrow."

  "Okay. I love you. Try to get some sleep."

  "I will. Goodnight."

  I end the call, then call up Giada.

  "Hey, Riley."

  "He's leaving," I say, my voice cracking. "For good this time." I break down crying.

  "Oh, Riley, I'm sorry. Tell me what happened. Or actually, can you come over?"

  "I guess I could, but it's kinda late."

  "It's not even ten. Grab an overnight bag and get your butt over here. You can tell me everything, then stay the night so you don't have to drive home."

  "You sure your roommate won't mind?"

  "My roommate loves you. Now hurry up. I'll have ice cream waiting. Or vodka. Which do you need?"

  "I don't know. Maybe both."

  "Got it. See you soon!"

  When I get to her apartment, I tell her about Brad leaving and we try to come up with any possible way to make this work. But we can't come up with anything. Because it's not possible. Even if I wasn't worried about leaving my mom, I can't afford to move to New York. Even if I could, Brad wouldn't have time to see me. And I wouldn't want him making time. School needs to be his priority. I love him enough to accept that.

  I love him enough to do what's best for him.

  I love him enough to let him go.

  The next morning, I'm still sad but feel a little better after talking to Giada. She's become my new best friend. She's always there when I need her, and she always finds a way to make things seem not so bad. I'm going to miss her so much when she leaves.

  "Want some breakfast?" she says as I go in the kitchen. She holds up a plate that's stacked with pancakes.

  "Sure." I take a seat at the counter.

  She hands me a plate. "Help yourself."

  I grab a fork and take two pancakes from the stack.

  "Did you sleep?" she asks.

  "Yeah. Your couch is really comfortable."

  "You can sleep there again tonight if you want."

  As I pour syrup on my pancakes, I smell the sweet maple scent and suddenly feel sick. I drop my fork and back away.

  "You okay?" Giada asks as I scramble to get off the barstool.

  "I think I'm going to be sick."

  I run to the bathroom and make it just in time. I lay on the cold tile for a few minutes, then go back to the kitchen.

  "What happened?" Giada asks.

  "I got sick. It came on really fast."

  "Do you think you have the flu?"

  "I don't know. I don't feel like I do. It was just my stomach, but now I feel fine."

  "Huh." She puts her hand on her hip. "You think it's something you ate last night?"

  "We ate the same things. And you're not sick, are you?"

  "No. I feel fine."

  She walks over to me and feels my forehead. "You don't feel hot."

  "I don't think I'm sick. I guess my stomach just didn't want pancakes this morning."

  "Guess not." She goes back around the counter and pours a glass of orange juice. "Try this."

  She hands me the glass. I take a sip and cringe. "Oh, God, that's disgusting. Did it expire?"

  "No, it's brand new. I just had some. I thought you liked orange juice."

  "I do. I love it. That just didn't taste good for some reason."

  She stares at me, her head cocked.

  "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

  "You've been really tired lately, right?"

  "Exhausted. I can barely keep my eyes open. I have to find a way to get my mom to turn the TV down at night."

  "I don't think this has to do with your mom."

  "What do you mean?"

  Her brows rise. "Tired? Throwing up? Things not tasting right?"

  "Yeah? What about it?"

  "Come with me." She races off to the bathroom, while I follow behind, confused.

  "What are you doing?" I ask as she frantically searches the linen closet.

  "Jen had a scare last spring. Turned out to be fine, but she bought like five boxes. I'm sure she has some left."

  "A scare? What are you talking about?"

  "Found one!" She takes out a box and hands it to me.

/>   I laugh. "A pregnancy test? Why are you giving me this?"

  "You need to take it. Now. I'll wait outside."

  "Giada, I'm not pregnant. I haven't had sex in forever."

  "You didn't have sex with Brad?" she asks, sounding surprised.

  "Well, yeah, but—"

  "Just take the test."

  I roll my eyes. "I'm not pregnant."

  "Prove it." She looks down at the box.

  "Giada, this is crazy. I'd know if I was pregnant."

  "How would you know? You've never been pregnant before, have you?"

  "Well, no, but I know the signs."

  "And you have them, or at least some of them."

  "They would've showed up before now. Brad and I had sex over a month ago."

  "The signs can show up any time. Every woman is different. Did you guys use protection?"

  "No, but I'm on the pill."

  "And you actually take it? Like every day?"

  "Not always. I'm not great at remembering it. But that doesn't mean I'm pregnant."

  "Did you get your period this month?"

  I stop to think. "Um, no. I guess I didn't."

  Shit. I'm starting to get nervous. Why didn't I get my period? I've been so preoccupied with Brad leaving and not knowing what would happen with us that I didn't even think about my period not showing up.

  "Go." She shoves me into the bathroom and shuts the door. "I'll be right outside."

  There's no way I'm pregnant. Sure I missed a couple pills, but not enough to make it not work. Honestly, I don't know if that's true, but missing a few pills shouldn't make someone pregnant. Penny, one of the stylists at the salon, said it took her eight months to get pregnant after being on the pill, so there's no way missing a few could result in pregnancy.

  "Done yet?" Giada yells through the door.

  "Haven't started," I yell back.

  She's not going to let me out of here until I do this, so I take out the stick and do the test, then read the instructions while I wait.

  Giada knocks on the door. "How's it going?"

  "I'm waiting."

  "Want me to wait with you?"

  I open the door. "Giada, I'm not pregnant."

  "Is that what it said?"

  "It's not done yet, but I already know."

  "What if you were?"

  "I'm not."

  She looks down at the stick in my hand. "Actually, you are."

  I raise the stick to eye level and see the two lines telling me it's true. But it can't be. There's no way.

  "You said these are old, right?" I ask, holding up the stick.

  "They're not old. She bought them last spring."

  "That's months ago. They're probably expired by now."

  "I don't think they expire, but just to be sure, we'll get new ones. We'll go to the store right now."

  I toss the stick in the trash. "It's probably just old."

  "Riley." Giada is standing at the door, a sad smile on her face.

  "What?"

  "You never answered my question. What if you really are pregnant? What are you going to do?"

  "Giada, it's not true. That test is wrong. Those things are always wrong."

  "But what if it's not? What are you going to do?"

  "I..." I look around the room, as if the answers are somehow there. "I don't know. I guess...I don't know."

  "Let's go. We'll get a new test and come right back."

  She has to grab my arm and pull on me to get out of there. I'm in a fog, not sure if this is real or some strange dream. How could I be pregnant? While on the pill?

  We get the test and go back to her apartment and I try it again. There are two sticks in the package, so I do them both.

  "So?" Giada asks as I open the bathroom door.

  "Same," I mutter as it hits me that this is really happening.

  "You're pregnant," she says.

  I nod.

  She hugs me. "I want to say congratulations, but I don't know if that's the right thing to say. You don't seem very happy."

  "I don't know what I'm feeling. I can't believe this is happening." I pull away from her and walk down the short hallway to the living room like I'm in a trance.

  "Riley?" I hear Giada say from behind me.

  "I'm pregnant." I turn to face her. "With Brad's baby."

  "When are you going to tell him?"

  "I don't know if I will."

  "Riley, you have to tell him. He needs to know he's going to be a dad."

  "If I tell him, he'll never go to med school. It's his dream. It's what he's always wanted. It was almost taken away from him, but he got it back. I can't take it away again."

  "He can still go to school."

  "But he won't. He wouldn't go if he knew we were having a baby. He'd want to be with me. He'd get a job to support us and then..." My voice trails off.

  "Riley, that's not a bad thing. I know it's not what he planned, but maybe this baby is a sign you two were meant to be together. You finding this out right before he leaves? Maybe it means he should stay."

  "Getting that scholarship was a sign. A sign telling him he belongs in school. That he needs to be a doctor. Live his dream."

  "What about your dream?"

  "I never really had one."

  "Everyone has one."

  "That's what Brad said too when I told him that. He wouldn't let it go, so I told him, but it's stupid. It's not even a dream. Not really."

  "What did you tell him?"

  "I said I want to have a family someday. And live in a small house on the beach."

  "The beach?" She smiles. "You never told me you like the beach."

  "I've never been. But I've seen pictures, and I think I'd like it. Brad used to say he'd take me, but...it doesn't matter." I look down at my stomach. "If this is really happening, then I just have to accept that this is my life. Here in this town."

  "It doesn't have to be. You can do whatever you want. Having a baby doesn't change that."

  "You sound just like Brad. He used to tell me to just go for it. To go after my dreams no matter what."

  I smile, thinking back to that day. The day we talked about our dreams. My whole life, I'd never talked about my dreams because I never thought they'd come true, but Brad made me think that they could.

  "So why can't you?" Giada asks. "You don't have to stay here. If you want to go live on a beach, then do it."

  "I can't just pack up and leave, especially now."

  "Riley, stop it." She holds onto my arms and looks me in the eye. "Stop saying you can't when you can. Staying here? Living here with your mom? That doesn't have to be your life. Or your baby's life."

  My baby. I'm having a baby. It still doesn't seem real, but I saw the test—all three of them—so I'm pretty sure it's true.

  I'm pregnant. With Brad's baby.

  Ready for book 2? Better If He Stays is the final book in the Always You duet series! Click here to preorder it now!

  While you wait for the release, check out my latest boxset, Crossing the Line. It has three standalone friends-to-lovers romances in one set. You can get it here!

  Or if you love hot guys who are handy with a hammer, check out my Wheeler Brothers Boxset. It has four standalone books, each featuring a different brother. You can get it here!

  Also from Allie Everhart

  THE JADE SERIES

  (New Adult Romantic Suspense)

  Choosing You

  Knowing You

  Loving You

  Promising You

  Forever You

  Finding Us

  Becoming Us

  Always Us

  Garret: A Jade Series Companion Novel

  THE KENSINGTON SERIES

  (Romantic Suspense)

  Needing Her

  Keeping Her

  Protecting Her

  Only Her

  KENSINGTON FAMILY NOVELS

  (New Adult Romance)

  Lilly

  Lilly and Reed

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sp; MOORHURST COLLEGE DUET

  (New Adult Romantic Suspense)

  Secrets Kept

  Secrets Told

  WHEELER BROTHERS

  (New Adult Romance Series of Standalones)

  Next to Me

  Give Us a Chance

  Can't Let You Go

  More to Us

  The Wheeler Brothers Boxset

  STANDALONE NOVELS

  Still Love You

  Holding On

  One Night

  Anyone But Her

  The Geek and The Goddess

  Road Trouble

  The Path to You

  Falling for Aiden

  Lucky Star

  With Every Breath

  Home with You

  Kinda Hate You