Damaged for Him

by Farrar, Marissa

  “What kinds of desires?”

  “Oh, you get all sorts. I had a man who just wanted me to walk on him in my high heels. I guess he liked the pain. I stood on his chest and thighs while he whacked himself off.”

  “Oh.” I was so naïve, still. Even though I’d been with Angelo now, and he’d done everything he could to prepare me for this, there was still a lot I didn’t know about what men liked and why.

  “Most of them are happy with a blow job and a quick fuck, though,” she said. “Some like anal. Others just like to watch. You just have to take your mind somewhere else and pretend it isn’t happening.”

  I pressed my lips together, frowning. “That’s not what I’ve been taught. I was taught that men like to see the woman enjoying herself. That we should make sure his pleasure is always taken care of.”

  She gave me a sideways look, confusion creasing her features. “What do you mean, it was what you’ve been taught? Someone taught you how to be a plaything for these fuckers?”

  “It was how I was raised.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “What?”

  “My mother was a woman who did what we do, and I was born on the compound where she worked. Until a week ago, I’d never left the place. I always knew this was what I was destined to become. I’ve never been a free woman like the rest of you.”

  Except for those few magical days spent with Angelo. But even then, I hadn’t been completely free. We’d been hunted the whole time.

  “Fucking hell, Catalina. So, you don’t have anyone on the outside who might be looking for you?”

  “Only one. The son of my old master. We love each other. We tried to run away, but Sir and my old master caught up with us. I don’t know what has happened to Angelo, but I hope he’s safe.”

  “You never lived a normal life? You never went to school, or out to parties, or had friends?”

  “My friends were the women at the compound. Some of the ones who’d been there the longest were more like my family, really. And I had a tutor, but no, I never went to school, and the only parties I ever experienced were the ones my master threw.”

  She was looking at me differently now, and so were the others. Even Grace had lifted her head to stare at me.

  “So that’s why you can’t swim?” Grace asked quietly.

  I nodded. “I’ve never even seen a swimming pool before.”

  Her mouth formed an O. “Wow.”

  I had unintentionally separated myself from them once again, made myself appear different in their eyes. A freak.

  The hours passed, and we all got ready for the gathering. I felt sick to my stomach, my hands trembling, detached from everything and everyone around me. I was cold and couldn’t seem to warm up, even when I pulled my bedding around my shoulders, covering myself with it, my dress hidden beneath. A strange atmosphere fell over the room, all of us knowing what was coming.

  Kimmie paced around in her bare feet, impatient and clearly anxious to get started. Deanna sat looking pissed off, while Grace was curled on her side, her dress clinging to her body, her blonde hair spread out across the pillow.

  Finally, movement came at the door, and a man stepped inside. In anticipation, we all got to our feet.

  It was Bartow, the man who’d thrown me into the pool.

  “He’s ready for you.”

  I stiffened, every muscle in my body tense. I kept my head down, my gaze fixed on the floor. I sensed his amused gaze on me, as though he was picturing what had happened the previous day.

  Together, we filed out into the corridor, with me sandwiched between Grace and Deanna, and Kimmie leading the way.

  We moved down the corridor and up the staircase and into the main part of the house. I didn’t know the time, but I assumed it was somewhere around late-afternoon to early evening. Early, perhaps, to have a party, but I guessed the men would be mixing business with pleasure. That was normally how things went back at the compound.

  “Put those on,” Bartow said, nodding down at a row of ridiculously high heeled shoes.

  They were all clearly made for sex-appeal and not practicality. I chose a pair of barely-there, strappy black heels, slipping my feet into them. Immediately, I was several inches taller, and the shoes changed the positioning of my body, my hips and chest jutting out, my shoulders back and chin up.

  From farther down the hall, Torres appeared from out of a doorway. I recognized it as being the same room where I’d eaten breakfast with him.

  He clapped his hands together once and held them clasped at his chest. “You all look beautiful,” he said. “You’ve done me proud.”

  I kept my gaze cast down as we tottered forward, making our way toward the party. I already heard the murmur of low voices, of glasses clinking, and the deep chuckle of men.

  “Best behavior, remember that,” he told us. “If you force me to punish you, I’ll be more than happy to do it in front of my guests. I’m sure they’ll enjoy watching.”

  A chill shivered through me, and I clenched my hands at my sides.

  “Now, chins up, smiles on. I want my guests to feel like you’re happy to have their company tonight.”

  I did as he instructed, plastering a fake smile to my face, though my stomach churned sickeningly. Would this be happening now if I hadn’t run with Angelo? Would Torres be using me this way, or would he have kept me all to himself?

  Torres pushed open the double doors to a large dining room and stepped through with a flourish. Five men were seated around the same large dining table where I’d eaten breakfast at the previous day. They all turned to look in our direction as Torres led us through like prize animals at market.

  “Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you all to my most recent addition, Catalina.”

  The men all fixed their attention on me, and I sensed Kimmie’s glare. I ducked my head, keeping my gaze focused down, and dipped in a small curtsy.

  “The other ladies, you’ve all met before, of course.”

  Kimmie crossed to the man closest, an older guy with silver hair, but who was trim and attractive, clean shaven, in an expensive suit. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, and he pushed his chair out from the table to give her room to sit in his lap.

  “Well, hello again,” she purred.

  “Hello, yourself,” he replied.

  The older man looked pleased at her attention, but I didn’t miss how her gaze flicked to Torres to make sure he was happy with her.

  The man bent to kiss her neck, and she tilted her head to one side, giving him better access. He squeezed her breast over the top of her dress then pulled down the front to expose her to the rest of the men who were watching with undisguised lust.

  “I’ll take the blonde,” said a younger man in his early twenties, with light brown hair, putting his hand out to Grace. She went to him without a word.

  “The tall black girl is mine then,” said a fair-haired man who I guessed to be in his thirties.

  Deanna sauntered forward. “Think you can handle me?”

  “I have no idea, but I’m going to enjoy trying.”

  All the men laughed at that.

  I swallowed hard, wondering which of the two remaining men would choose me. I took a step forward, thinking I was perhaps supposed to just put myself out there, but a hand caught my arm, pulling me back.

  “Uh-uh,” Torres said, his eyes narrowing. “You’re with me. For the moment, at least.”

  “Of course, sir,” I murmured.

  “Good.” He pulled me against him, and the ridge of his erection jammed against my hip. “You look beautiful tonight, Catalina. The red dress is perfect on you, but I can’t pretend like I’m not looking forward to seeing what it looks like off you even more.”

  I forced a smile to twitch the corners of my lips, though I didn’t feel anything close to happiness. This man’s fingers had been inside me on two occasions now, and I thought I’d be experiencing more than just his fingers today.

  “Now,” he said, guiding me towar
d his seat at the end of the table, “come and sit with me.”

  He tugged me onto his lap, so I sat sideways across him. I didn’t loop my arm around his neck as Kimmie had done, but instead sat demurely with my hands folded in my lap.

  The men were pawing over the women, chatting and laughing together as they did so. One of the men had pushed up Grace’s dress, his hand cupping her pussy, while the other man kissed her, pushing his tongue into her mouth. Impotent anger rose up inside me. I wanted to tell them to stop, and that she didn’t want that, but there was nothing I could do. Kimmie was enthusiastically making out with the silver-haired man, straddling him now, her dress pushed up around her hips, the top half of her dress pulled down. Deanna was on her knees in front of the blond man, mostly hidden by the edge of the table. I didn’t need to see her to know what she was doing, though, the back of her head bobbing up and down, the man’s hand sinking into her springy dark hair. From the slack-lipped look on his face, he was enjoying what she was doing to him.

  The sight of all the sex happening around the room caused my pussy to pulse, flooding me with wetness. I didn’t want to be turned on by what was happening, knowing it was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself. Torres’s erection dug hard against my ass.

  He reached out and took a sip from the champagne glass on the table. “Seems like everyone else is having far more fun than we are, Catalina,” he said against my ear. “I don’t like it when other people enjoy my toys more than me.”

  I wanted to tell him we weren’t his toys—that we were people with feelings and identities—but it would only get me or the others in trouble, and I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

  “What do you want me to do?” I asked, awkward and out of place.

  He pushed his chair back. “Stand up.”

  I did as he asked, wondering what was coming.

  “Bend over the table, Catalina, and pull up your dress. I want my guests to see what’s for dessert tonight.”

  I held back a whimper and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the faces of the men around me. But I knew I couldn’t disobey him. I’d only make things worse for myself.

  Carefully, I leaned over the table, pushing the crockery and cutlery to one side, giving my upper torso space to lie flat, my ass sticking out, my legs straight. The other men had all paused in what they were doing, sensing Torres was about to make an exhibition of me and not wanting to miss the excitement.

  Deanna tried to lift up her head, perhaps wanting to see what was going on, but the blond pushed her back down again. “No one told you to stop.”

  He was lucky she didn’t bite his dick off.

  “That’s right,” Torres encouraged me, drawing my focus back to him. “Now lift up your dress.”

  As he’d instructed, I wasn’t wearing any underwear. Trembling, I pulled up the hem of my skirt, dragging it up until it lay across my lower back, exposing my naked bottom for them all to see. My face burned with humiliation.

  “Catalina here was a virgin until only last week,” he announced to the other men. “Sadly, I wasn’t the one to take that virginity, but in this world of cheap and easy women, I’m sure you’ll all understand how refreshing it is to see such a relatively untouched pussy. Because of this, I request for you not to fuck her, but if you wish to have a taste, please do.”

  I clenched inside, my entire body shaking, making the crockery nearby tinkle.

  “Legs apart, Catalina,” he commanded. “Show us that pretty pussy.”

  I stepped my legs apart, wobbly on high heels that I was unused to wearing.

  “I’ll go first.” Torres moved up behind me. “I think I’ve earned that much.”

  I sucked in a breath and squeezed my eyes shut. Both his hands found the round curves of my bottom, palming each cheek and spreading me farther. I trembled with humiliation, but that low coil of arousal tightened in my lower belly. I should be repulsed by him and what was happening here, but instead some part of me was turned on by the knowledge of all these eyes on me, even though I hadn’t had any choice in my participation.

  Torres had dropped to his knees behind me. The heat of his breath brushed against my wet pussy, and I shivered in anticipation. Angelo’s face tried to push its way into my mind, but I couldn’t think about him. He’d told me to do whatever it took to stay safe, and this was simply a part of that. It didn’t change my love for him in any way. This was purely physical. Emotions—at least not romantic ones—didn’t even come into it.

  Torres’s tongue made contact with my slit, hot and wet. He trailed it up, and then went further, rimming around my asshole. I gasped and fisted my hands into the tablecloth. My pussy and ass pulsed in response. He repeated the motion, licking back down again, his tongue hardening and darting inside my channel, and then moving back up to pay attention to my asshole.

  It felt so wrong, wicked and dirty, and yet my breath quickened, my whole body tightening.

  “She’s enjoying that, Torres,” a male voice came from across the room. “Keep going, and she’ll cream all over your face.”

  He was building me higher and higher. I wanted to pull away, but I knew I’d be punished if I did, and besides, I was caught in this cyclone now, my body needing to find its release. If I squeezed my eyes shut, I could pretend I didn’t have numerous people watching me, and that this wasn’t most likely the start of all the men in the room doing whatever they wanted to me. It wouldn’t have surprised me if they forced some girl on girl action for their own entertainment, too, though I prayed they wouldn’t make me pair up with Kimmie.

  Torres continued to work me with his tongue, hardening it to a point and pushing into my channel. I shouldn’t want him, but I found myself pushing back on him, craving to be filled. I writhed and squirmed on the table, fisting the tablecloth tighter. Moans crawled from my throat, and I knew I was getting close. Then he spread my ass cheeks farther apart, and his thumbs pushed against my asshole. I let out a squeal as one of his thumbs pushed inside my ass, immediately turning my dial up one hundred percent. I arched my back, seeking more. With a rush of shame, I realized I wouldn’t try to fight him if he fucked me now. Though I didn’t want his cock inside me—I didn’t want any part of him inside me since he wasn’t Angelo—normal thoughts and emotions had fled, and all I wanted was to climax.

  He slid his thumb in and out of my hole, all the while licking every inch of my pussy, and then he pushed his other thumb inside my ass. The stretch stung, and he pulled me open, loosening the tight ring there. Was he getting me ready? Would it be his cock or one of the other men’s I’d be forced to take? I prayed it wouldn’t hurt too badly. The girth of both his thumbs felt like I was already getting fucked back there, and with his tongue in my pussy while he rammed me from behind, I finally lost control.

  I spiraled over the edge, my mind spinning. My body convulsed, my pussy and ass contracting around his tongue and digits. I flailed and bucked on the table, my breasts pressed against wood and cloth, and gave a guttural cry. A sick kind of pleasure twisted through me, holding me in its grip, wringing me dry. I twitched and jerked and shuddered as he eked the final ripples of my orgasm from me.

  I lay splayed on the table, my shoulders heaving as I tried to get my breath back, my heart galloping in my chest. I was disgusted at myself for letting this happen. I should have done more to try to stop it. I should have fought back or even told him to stop, but I hadn’t. Had it been the years of being taught to be subservient to men that had done it, my embedded knowledge that this was always going to be my fate, and that I had no choice? Or was it that I’d actually wanted him to do what he had—to put his mouth on my skin and his fingers inside me, and make me come?

  Tormented by what had happened, tears welled in my eyes and slipped down my cheeks.

  Torres straightened and pulled my dress back down. I couldn’t even look at the others, my vision blurred, my face burning with shame. What would happen now? Would the other men all get their turn, just as he’d said?
/>   “Okay, that’s enough for now.”

  His voice rang clear and true and was met with grumbles from the others.

  Torres’s words surprised me. I’d prepared myself for being passed around, for each of the men to take their time with me. I was shaking, tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t help but think that this was a stay of execution, not a pardon. I hadn’t been excused for good; my torment had simply been put on hold for another day.

  The other women remained in the laps of the other men. They weren’t looking at me either, but I guessed they probably knew exactly how I was feeling. They’d be feeling it, too.

  “Bartow,” he said, addressing the man who’d thrown me in the pool the previous day. “Take her back to her room. And don’t lay a finger on her.” The warning was clear in his tone.

  The other man gripped me by the upper arm and pulled me up from the table.

  I was wet and slippery between my thighs, and I stank of sex, but no one else touched me.

  With my heart breaking, I allowed myself to be led away.

  Chapter Ten

  A day had passed since I’d gotten my hands on the key to my father’s office.

  My encounter with Rufus had forced me to wait. I knew he suspected me of something and would be keeping a closer eye on me, and I didn’t want to risk him demanding to know what I was doing if he found me creeping around the house again.

  I’d taken my copy of Little Women back to my room and, hoping no one else would stop me to question my choice of reading material, I’d shut the door behind me. I’d needed to hide the key and wondered if I’d be better to leave the key in my boot, or find somewhere else to stash it. I hadn’t been worried about my father discovering the key missing. From the amount of dust that had been on the book cover it had been hidden inside, he clearly hadn’t given it any thought for some time. I only hoped Rufus wouldn’t think my actions in the library had been suspicious and check things out further. If he noticed the book was now clear from dust, he might open it and discover the pages had a key-sized chunk cut out of them for no discernable reason, and take it to Silas. If that happened, my father would know what I’d done right away.