After the Hurt

by Shana Gray

  —

  Tank walked through the restaurant, nodding at patrons. He smiled at them and capped the anger that burned in his gut. He wasn’t naive enough to think there was anything he or the cops could do about the guy. Other than standing in the doorway across the street, there was nothing to indicate any other malicious intent.

  Tank dialed the detective’s number from the business card he’d been given a few weeks ago. All he could do was describe what he’d seen. He’d gotten lots of threats over his career and they’d stopped after he retired. But a couple things that had happened over the last few months had him on alert. Good thing he’d spoken to Joe. He’d have to give him a call again tomorrow and tell him to ramp things up. He couldn’t really go to anyone else. Meg would worry too much, and he didn’t want to let on to Pepper. The fact she voiced her concern bothered him and gave this a little more credibility than he would have liked. He didn’t like it one little bit. The guy disturbed Tank and his gut told him they needed to be cautious. He’d advise the staff as well and tomorrow he would hire security until he got to the bottom of it.

  The number went to voice mail and he was leaving a message when Pepper came flying through the door into his office, her eyes and hair wild. She’d dressed and was flushed, shining with an excited light that stole his breath and stirred his cock.

  Tank lost his train of thought and swallowed as her presence filled the office. He could clearly see she was distressed and all he wanted to do was soothe her. Wrap her in his arms and smooth her wild flaming hair. Ease her worry. But he couldn’t. If he gave in to holding her, even if it was just for support, he wouldn’t be able to let her go. And now more than ever he had to let her go. That asshole dude watching them was trouble and he didn’t want Pepper exposed to it. She needed to be safe. Even if that meant she had to be far away from him and whomever he’d pissed off. Maybe he should have given her the papers and the check when he’d first had them drawn up and not put it off like he had.

  Keeping her around and avoiding the business conversation had been selfish. He’d been stringing her along when she could have been starting over. If that’s what she wanted. His new business dealings had kept him busy, which at the time, Tank told himself had been wise. But those few times when they’d cooked together, been side by side like at the opening night, had been like old times. It made him realize how much he missed her in his life. His simmering arousal was never far, haunting him like a ghost. Having her close to him and not being able to have her—touch her, taste her, feel her, be in her—was killing him and was the main reason he’d been avoiding “the talk.” Once they settled their affairs, she would be gone.

  Again.

  And he was liking her in his world more than he thought he would. Complications. He didn’t like them and normally dealt with them in a quick and ruthless manner, but in this case he’d let it hang. Letting it draw out too long, hoping it would solve itself. Not one to keep the status quo, this time he’d been content with it. Well, maybe it had just solved itself.

  After this last incident, he knew it was time to deal with it. Now. If Pepper hadn’t come into his office right at this moment he’d have picked up the phone and called Meg to make sure everything was still in order since he’d delayed. It would have to wait until the morning now. As much as it would kill him to no longer have her under his roof, he would settle with Pepper in order to see her safe and far from potential harm.

  Telling her in the morning would give him time with her tonight when he took her to dinner. Maybe he would find out what she really wanted, cash or a share of the business. Perhaps she might open up to him a little more and he’d know exactly what was going on with her.

  It hurt his heart to think about pushing her away, but he wanted her safe. If there was a wing nut hanging around he’d try to talk her into the cash. That meant she could leave with her money and be safe from this freak who seemed to be hanging around.

  He knew Pepper well enough to know she was antsy about their situation. He sensed it in her. And he was surprised as hell she hadn’t cornered him and demanded they talk. Pepper was a very different woman since she’d come back. He liked the change in her. She was softer. Mellow. More accepting and not so judging. Yet her fire lurked, waiting to burst to life. He’d finally accepted he hadn’t gotten over her and ached for her in a way that was a monumental distraction. Refusing to think about her all these months had taken something from him. Like he was living as a shell of a man. He sighed, realizing how difficult it was having her under his roof but at a distance, even more so than when she’d been gone and he’d been trying to put her out of his mind.

  All these thoughts crashed around in his brain as she raced toward him. She grabbed his arms, panting. “What the hell happened?”

  “The guy took off. I’ve called the detective who gave me his card after the break-in.” Tank gently disentangled himself from her and moved behind his desk. He had to stick to his resolve.

  “Good, what did he say?” Her violet eyes were bright and Tank bit his tongue. He had to remain focused. Maybe taking her to dinner wasn’t such a great idea after all. But damn, he needed time with her before he shooed her away to be safe. To spend time relaxed and enjoying each other’s company was far too tempting to give up. Especially away from Octagon, where no one would know them and they could escape. At least for a little while.

  “Voice mail.”

  “Figures. So now what?”

  “I’m not calling nine-one-one over this, so we’ll just be vigilant. Watch for anything strange and keep the blinds upstairs closed.” He shuffled papers on his desk. He would see that she had another place to stay tomorrow, maybe Meg would let her stay there until she found something. Shit, then that meant he’d have to tell Meg what was going on.

  “What about the restaurant and bar?” Her voice was breathless and it struck a chord deep inside him, vibrating along his nerve endings like a sweet siren’s song. Get a grip.

  She’d echoed his thoughts. Why hadn’t the person broken into the restaurant? Why just the apartment? There was more to lose down here and it didn’t make sense.

  “It’s been bothering me too,” he muttered to himself.

  “What has?”

  Tank forced his face to remain devoid of emotion and met her gaze. But damn if her breezy freshness and spicy scented skin didn’t wrap around him and take hold of his heart. He dropped his gaze to her mouth—perfect, moist, and ready to kiss. Tank struggled against the urgent need to draw her into his arms and crush her. He wanted to taste her again, feel her move in ecstasy under him. Bury himself deep within her. For the rest of eternity. Tank cleared his throat and shifted on his feet.

  Pepper took a step toward him and came around the desk. The air seemed to light up and crackle as if cut by lightning, burning the oxygen out of the room. Breathing became more difficult and a heaviness grew within him the closer she got. Pepper rested her hand on his arm and tipped her face to him. Her sultry voice set his spine tingling. His blood raced in licking flames to settle in his hips, burning with erotic heat.

  “We have to find out what’s going on, Tank. Perhaps you could call Joe?”

  He was losing track of their conversation and becoming frustrated at his lack of brainpower. Tank watched emotion play across her face. Was he as transparent as she? He could have swallowed his tongue at the turn of events taking place around him with high speed. All his determination to keep her at arm’s length, not fall under her spell, or allow himself to get horned up in her presence was gone.

  Right then and there he suddenly didn’t give a shit. Tank raised his hands and curled his fingers around her arms, holding her lightly but like he would never let her go. Did she lean in to him? It didn’t matter; if he wanted to kiss her—and he did—he could haul her next to him without any trouble at all.

  The smoldering look in her eyes gave her away. It was all he could do to ignore the way her lips parted, ready for a kiss. Or how her breath puffed gently
between them. He inhaled and swore he could smell her arousal, an animalistic trait, sure, but still. It drove him mad. He was magnetized to her and the pull was undeniable. It drew him closer and he ducked his head slightly, watching her mouth. Desire flared in him and he was close to losing control.

  Tank hadn’t realized the sound of the restaurant around them had dimmed to white noise until he heard the clatter of utensils, which broke the spell he’d fallen under. He blinked. But he didn’t move. Pepper stared up at him, her face showing everything she was feeling.

  Fuck it.

  Tank snaked his arm around her waist and she melted against him. Her gentle moan egged him on. He couldn’t not kiss her. This moment had been coming for so long. He’d been picking up on her signals but had denied them. As much as he wanted to be with her…

  She stared up at him and he saw the longing in her eyes. In that moment Tank realized she had come back for him. Not the business. Not the money. But for him. That realization was enough to make him throw caution to the wind.

  Sliding his hand up her back, he cupped his fingers around the warmth of her neck. With his other hand he pressed her hips to him. Her eyes widened and he smiled. Goddamn right he was hard for her. She gripped his upper arms and then wound her arms around his neck. He didn’t dive into the kiss; instead he stared at her, blown away by her beauty, the love shining in her eyes, and the sexuality she radiated. He wanted a moment to absorb it. To take her in as much as he wanted to take her.

  “What are you waiting for?” Her voice was husky and low.

  “Nothing.”

  He pushed his fingers into her hair and pulled her head toward him. Her eyelids fluttered shut and she held her breath. Tank watched her as he pressed his lips ever so gently to hers, the softness of them a clear reminder of what he’d been missing all these months. He couldn’t hold back anymore. Any thought of gentle kisses fled and the pent-up desire, and anger he’d used to hold that desire at bay, unleashed. She whimpered when he ran his tongue along the slit of her lips. They trembled and opened slightly, giving him the invitation. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, needing to feel the hot response he knew she would give him. Her reaction didn’t disappoint. As if she wanted to crawl right inside him, Pepper answered his demanding kiss. Her tongue played with his. She pressed her breasts against his chest and she seemed to melt around him, like old times. Before the bad times pulled them apart. It gave him a glimpse of what the future could be. And he liked it. Wanted it. Couldn’t have it.

  She trembled and sagged in his arms. He held her, not wanting to feel the emptiness of her not next to him anymore. Their breath rasped and mingled. Breathing each other in as if their very lives depended on it. He was bursting. Not wanting to fuck her, but wanting to make love to her. He groaned and deepened his kiss. The ferocity of wanting to thrust deep inside her making him almost mindless. If shouting from the kitchen hadn’t broken through his haze of desire and given him a momentary breather, Tank was sure he would have thrown her onto the desk.

  Instead, he lifted his lips from hers and opened his eyes. She was already looking at him, her lovely violet eyes half open with yearning.

  “Oh, Tank.” She was breathless and her chest heaved. She didn’t let go of his shoulders, and when he stepped back she clutched him a little tighter.

  He smiled and chuckled. “What? Having trouble catching your breath?”

  “I see you’re having a little trouble yourself.”

  She let go of him and, reluctantly, Tank released her when she stepped back, disappointed to let her go. This kiss was a turning point. Even though it was quick, the passion was there. A window to the future inched opened and that icy chunk that was his heart melted a little bit more. Rather than being joyous, it was painful, because he had to send her away so she would be safe.

  “Hmm.” He didn’t know what else to say, and when he was a bit stuck for words a hmm usually sufficed.

  “Ah, the Tank growl.” Pepper took a deep breath and flipped her hair over her shoulder before smoothing her top down and glancing at the kitchen. “Should we see what all the commotion is about?”

  He cocked his head and listened. “Uhm, it’s okay; sounds like it’s all over. You know chefs; they can get excited.”

  Pepper shrugged her shoulders and stood as if waiting for him to say something. He could see her body still trembled. The kiss had clearly lit her up. She was glowing. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips plump and inviting. His heart hurt at how happy she looked, optimistic, and he knew he’d be crushing that joy later. The important thing was to keep Pepper safe.

  So he had to make her see that the deal was the best thing for her. He would treasure their last night together under the same roof. A stab of regret pierced him; he’d let so much time go by since she’d arrived before coming to this realization. If only he’d not been so bullheaded they could have had some time together earlier. Maybe figured a way out before this buffoon made his presence known. But, as it stood now, it wasn’t possible until this lunatic was dealt with.

  Taking her hand in his, he said, “Let’s get the hell out of here and grab something to eat.”

  She widened her eyes and a smile curved her lips. “Seriously? You, um we, own a restaurant. Why would you want to go somewhere else?”

  He snaked his arm around her shoulder, all remaining thought of keeping his distance from her evaporated into the air. He steered her to the back door. “Sometimes it’s nice to be waited on. Where no one knows your name.” Their gazes locked and his heart swelled. He did his best to ignore the aching tightness in his groin, knowing it might never be eased.

  She smiled, lighting his world. A harsh reminder of how dark and miserable it had been since she’d left.

  Chapter 16

  They arrived at Stella’s Back Porch, a new, quiet, bluesy place. Dark. Discreet. Live music. Tank glanced around and nodded. It was the perfect place for some private time. A complete opposite to Octagon. He’d heard good things and figured no time like the present for a test run.

  “Not a bad little spot,” he commented.

  “It looks nice.” Pepper slipped her arm through his and hugged it.

  The hostess saw them to a half-moon-shaped table. It was tucked behind a dark, sparkly gauze drape that was pulled to the side and secured with gold chains. He did a double take and was surprised to see handcuffs at the end looped over a stout nail. Interesting.

  “Check it out.” Tank nodded his head, indicating the cuffs.

  “That’s different.” Pepper leaned in to look closer. “They’re fake. But kinda cool.” She gave him a wink and slid in behind the table. “Interesting place.”

  He laughed. He’d love to get a pair of cuffs on her and…Tank cleared his throat. No point in letting his mind and libido run away with him.

  “I guess if we want more privacy, we can drop the curtain.” This time Pepper laughed when he waggled his eyebrows at her.

  He slid in behind her. She hadn’t moved all the way around. Tank kept a little bit of distance. At least for now. He was beginning to concede he was in a losing battle. It wasn’t going to be easy to not notice how lovely she looked. How the smooth curve of her cheek seemed flawless in the dim lighting. The way her arched, ginger brows framed her expressive eyes. And the graceful bow of her neck, now exposed to him as she flipped her hair aside. He longed to press his lips to the pulsing vein under the delicate skin.

  Ah, shit; he was doomed.

  She had to be safe. Be away from him and the restaurant. The pain in his heart at the thought of her gone was acute. Tank coughed, hoping his irregular heartbeat would steady. Watching her scan the menu gave him the opportunity to let his greedy gaze take her in, really look at her and fully acknowledge his still-powerful feelings.

  For tonight, though, he’d enjoy their time together. Do his damnedest not to let things get out of control and live in the moment. A motto he’d lived by for so many years. And still did to the best of his ability. But he had st
arted to hang on too tight after she left. To everything. The fear of losing control created an overall negative impact on life.

  He pulled his gaze from her to look around and at the stage. It was set up for the band and whatever performer was on tonight. A dark, almost smoky purple ambience was the main theme in the club, accented with sparkle and gold. Very unique. It had a certain tranquility that he liked. A sexiness that was arousing.

  Tank relaxed, draped his arm across the back of the bench seat. Tension slid away, replaced by a contented languor. He was nicely relaxed by the time the waitress took their order. They’d sat quietly, no need for conversation. A comfortable silence he’d only ever been able to attain with Pepper. He was very ready for his scotch when the server brought it and Pepper’s dirty martini.

  She sighed and sagged against the black leather seat. Her hand rested on the table with the stem of her glass between her fore and middle fingers. Pepper glanced sideways at him and smiled. Goddamn if his heart didn’t flip over in his chest.

  “This is so nice. You were right; it was good for us to get out.”

  “I’d heard about this place but never been. Figured it was time to visit.” Tank lifted the glass and welcomed the searing burn as the liquid slid down his throat.

  “It’s always good to know your competition.” Tank watched her lips press to the rim of the glass. All kinds of erotic thoughts about her talented lips raced through his mind. She sipped and her eyelids fluttered closed for a second, then opened. “Mmm, so good.”

  She glanced at him over the glass. He ached to have her in his arms again. He was so tempted to tug her to him, he took another long pull of his drink instead. The fiery burn only amplified his simmering arousal. He moved his leg and it touched hers. He bit back a groan of pleasure. Neither of them broke the connection.