Joyful

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  Bud knocked on the door again. “Pippa?”

  After unlocking the deadbolt, she pulled the door open wide. And there was Bud, dressed in a blue button-down and a pair of khakis. “Hi,” she said, her smile growing wider when she saw he held a bouquet of tulips.

  “Hi. You look really pretty, Pippa.”

  “Thanks.” Gesturing to his outfit, she said, “I guess we both decided to dress up a little.”

  “Yeah.” Looking adorably bashful, he kind of thrust the flowers at her. “Here.”

  She took them as she led the way inside. “What a nice surprise, Bud,” she said as she started opening cupboards, hoping she still had that glass vase she’d picked up at a yard sale a couple of months ago.

  “I thought I should have something for you. You know, to mark the occasion.”

  Holding the vase she’d just filled with water, she set it slowly on the countertop. “It feels that way for you, too?”

  “Very much so. I feel like we’ve come a long way to reach this point, Pippa.”

  As she looked at the dozen pink and yellow tulips in the vase, each one in a different stage of bloom, she couldn’t believe how far they had come.

  “I thought we were through when you showed up at the restaurant with Miguel.”

  His gaze softened. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that, but after everything you went through with Miguel, I didn’t want there to be any questions or secrets between us.”

  She gestured to the table, set with crisp white place mats and napkins. Just two hours earlier, she’d stared at it in doubt, wondering if she’d done too much. Now she thought the new place mats and carefully arranged silverware looked pretty perfect.

  “Please, sit down,” she said, feeling a bit like a hostess out of a Hallmark movie. “I made chicken enchiladas. I hope you like Mexican food?”

  Grinning at her, he nodded. “To be honest, I like anything Mexican. Especially pretty girls named Pippa who wear amazing blue dresses.”

  Meeting his gaze, she stilled. Yes, they had definitely moved forward. And she had a pretty good idea that from now on, there would be no turning back.

  chapter twenty-four

  He’d suffered through a lot of complaints and more than a couple snide comments. But in the end, Randall had gotten his way. He was now dressed in flannel pajama bottoms, one sock, and a blue shirt. He was also attempting to rest on the couch in the keeping room.

  His leg was propped on a pillow and he almost felt like himself.

  Kaylene had positioned herself on the opposite end of the couch and was currently writing her name on his cast with a thick black permanent marker. “Am I supposed to write anything besides my name on your leg, Randall?”

  “What else would you write?”

  “I don’t know.” She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “Something like ‘have a nice day’?”

  Levi scoffed. “You don’t write things like that, silly. You write something like ‘hope you feel better.’”

  “Or just write your name. Don’t forget, you’ve already told me that you hope I feel better,” Randall said in his most helpful voice. Honestly, if he didn’t attempt to put some parameters around it she was going to be perched next to his foot all day.

  “I think I’m going to just write ‘Kaylene Beiler.’”

  “He already knows who you are, Kay,” Levi said with a smile. “You are goofy.”

  “I’m not. I’m not goofy am I, Randall?”

  Eager to gain some peace, he said, “Levi was only teasin’ ya, Kay. He wasn’t being mean. But I don’t think you’re goofy at all.”

  “See?” She glared at Levi.

  Randall looked toward Elizabeth in the kitchen. She was carefully wiping down the counters. When she met his gaze, he called out, “Elizabeth, come in here and help me out.”

  “I’m afraid I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that, Randall. I’m cleaning the kitchen, you see.”

  Her voice was light, and it was obvious that she was only pretending to be teasing. But there was an edge to her voice as well. “Elizabeth, all you’ve been doing all night is cleaning. Isn’t it time to take a break?”

  “I will. I’m simply trying to get everything done before I go.”

  “Go? Where are you going?”

  “I’m going home tomorrow.”

  “What?” He looked around the room, at Levi, who was glaring at him, to Micah, who’d been reading one of his textbooks in the far corner, to Kaylene, who was making the tail of her y into a fancy curlicue. Not a one of them looked surprised. “Did all of you already know this?”

  Kaylene nodded. “Uh-huh.”

  “We talked about it at supper,” Micah said absently. “While you were in your room.”

  “But don’t you think we need to talk about this?”

  “I already talked about things with Junior,” Elizabeth said after a lengthy pause. “He paid me, too, so I’m all taken care of.”

  She’d been paid. She’d been taken care of. Her voice was brisk and businesslike. And her expression? Carefully composed, just as if cooking and cleaning for them had been nothing but another job for her.

  Just as if she hadn’t had the same reaction he’d had when she’d visited him in his room.

  His temper flared. “Kay, enough. And would you all give Elizabeth and me some privacy?”

  All at once, Kaylene, Levi, Elizabeth, and Micah stopped what they were doing and stared at him in disbelief. Honestly, it was like he’d suddenly stood up and started singing and dancing at the top of his lungs.

  “Why do you need privacy?” Levi asked.

  “It’s none of your business.”

  It used to be, he’d been able to stop Levi in his tracks by using just this tone of voice.

  Now his sixteen-year-old brother merely looked bored. “I kind of think it is, seeing how I’m the one who invited her over here in the first place.”

  This seemed like an especially snarky comment, even for Levi. Lifting a brow, Randall glanced Micah’s way.

  But instead of backing him up, Micah merely shut his book and stood up. “Elizabeth, is this what you want? If not, I’ll stay here with you.”

  To have one brother go against him was one thing. But now he had two of them? That was too much. “Hey, now—”

  Micah glared at him. “Enough, bruder.” Softening his tone, he walked toward Elizabeth. “I do agree that it’s time you stopped cleaning. I promise, this kitchen has never been so spotless, not even when Claire was at her most industrious. But if you’d rather go to your room, I’d understand.”

  He wouldn’t! With effort, Randall kept his mouth shut. But he had now moved on from being irritated to very confused. His brothers were treating Elizabeth as if she were the person injured.

  Actually, as if he had hurt her feelings!

  “I’ll be happy to chat with Randall for a few minutes before I head to bed,” she said as she carefully folded the dishcloth and walked into the keeping room. Then, at last, she looked his way. “As a matter of fact, I think Randall and I have much to discuss.”

  “I’ll be in the workshop if you need me,” Micah said. “Kaylene, you can come with me or go with Levi to the basement or to your room.”

  “Couldn’t I stay here if I stayed real quiet?”

  “Nee,” Randall said. “Go on with you, Kay.”

  With the speed of snails, his siblings at last eased out of the room, leaving him lying on the couch and Elizabeth perched on the chair across from him.

  When they were at last alone, she raised a brow. “Well? What was it you wanted to talk about?”

  Whether it was the shock of the news, the sight of Micah looking after her, almost trying to save her from him, or the frustration that had been building up from injuring himself doing something he’d been doing for years without a single mishap, he didn’t know.

  But he’d reached his boiling point.

  “Elizabeth, no more skating around the issue,” he blurted, all the
tension and frustration and loneliness in his heart flying up to the forefront. “What in the world is going on with us?”

  He felt no small measure of satisfaction when he noticed that now she looked just as flustered as he felt.

  He couldn’t have been happier about that.

  Elizabeth’s mouth went dry as Randall’s words sank in. She didn’t know whether to be disappointed, intrigued, or simply really, really irritated.

  “Randall, you have the worst timing on the planet. This is neither the time nor the place to talk about our relationship.”

  “Why isn’t it? I don’t have any place else to go. Do you?”

  “I can think of a lot of other things I’d rather be doing instead of rehashing our relationship.”

  Randall tilted his head. “Did we ever discuss our relationship in the first place?”

  She felt a little stumped. Not until just that moment had she ever stopped to consider that maybe they never really had discussed their feelings or their future. “Do you mean while we were dating or when we broke up?” she asked, mainly to stall for time.

  “I mean either.” He shifted a bit. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable. Almost as uncomfortable with his sitting position as he was with the conversation. “Elizabeth, I know we courted for years. And that there were many unspoken expectations on both of our ends. But I can’t really think of a time that I asked you how you felt about me.”

  “You didn’t need to. You had to know I liked you. You were the one who never felt like sharing your feelings.”

  “Elizabeth, I’ve always thought you were pretty. And I liked your temperament. You were easy to get along with.”

  “We never fought. You were always in a good mood.” She thought about it a little more. “And you never made me think too much. I started seeing you just as my mamm fell in love and moved away.”

  “I knew that happened and assumed it was difficult for you.” He wrinkled his brow. “But did I ever actually ask you about how you felt about that?”

  “I was glad you didn’t. I didn’t want to talk to you about how sad I was that Mamm found another person and was perfectly okay with leaving me.”

  Shocked at herself, she pressed her palm to her mouth. “Randall, I can’t believe I just said that.”

  “I can’t believe we never talked about it in the first place.” He exhaled. “Elizabeth, no wonder we broke up so easily. We broke apart because we had so little keeping us together.”

  “That’s not true. We had a lot. We were friends.”

  “And we liked the same people. Being with you was easy. Comfortable. I never had to try too hard.”

  “I see.” She couldn’t help feeling a bit hurt by his words. It sounded as if he’d purposely courted her because he didn’t have to try hard to please her. She didn’t especially like how that sounded . . . or how it made her feel.

  He rubbed a hand over his cheek. “Look, I know I am making a mess of this. I know I am making things between us sound bad.”

  “That is true.”

  “What I’m trying to tell you is that I’m different now. Elizabeth, it’s only been since we broke up that I’ve been trying harder. Something about taking the responsibility for my family helped me learn to really listen to people. To ask the right questions. To not take them for granted. And it’s only been since you’ve been coming here that I feel like we’ve gotten close. And now you’re leaving.”

  She hated how he was making it sound as if she was leaving him on purpose. “I need to leave, Randall.”

  “Why? Why tomorrow?” Looking at her curiously, he added, “Were you only here because it was a job?”

  “Randall, you’re making everything so convoluted,” she said impatiently. “I wouldn’t have come over here in the first place if you and Levi hadn’t asked me to work here. I wouldn’t have stayed here out of mere friendship. It would have been a little too awkward, don’t you think?”

  “Is that all I am to you? A job?”

  “You know that’s not true. But you’re being terribly judgmental and naïve if you think I’m going to forget all about my financial needs. I don’t have a group of brothers and sisters who would drop everything at a moment’s notice to help. I don’t live on a prosperous farm or have lots of money invested wisely. Today when Junior handed me that four hundred dollars? It was the first time I’ve ever had that much money in my hand. It’s certainly the first time in a year that I’m going to actually be able to put something aside.”

  He looked away. “I knew things were tough for you, but I didn’t realize you were so strapped.”

  “How could you?” she asked, knowing that her voice sounded harsh. “After you told me that we couldn’t see each other anymore, we never talked until I came here to work for your family.”

  “If I had known you needed something, I would have lent you the money.”

  “And you think I would have taken it? Oh, Randall. Do you really even know me?”

  “I thought I did. I think I do now. I am learning more about you every day. And guess what?”

  “What?”

  “Elizabeth, I’m glad we are still learning more about each other! It’s makes our . . . relationship . . . feel brand-new.”

  She’d never thought about it quite like that. “I like it, too.”

  “So, does that mean you still like me?”

  She stared, struggling with how much she was ready to reveal. Then she noticed how direct his gaze was, how honest. He looked vulnerable and uneasy. He looked exactly the same way she was feeling.

  And while she wished that he was making the first move, she also realized that he was trying to protect himself. Here he was, immobile from a broken leg. Unable to reach for her. Unable to do anything but sit and wait for her response.

  For the moment—maybe for the first time in their relationship—she was in control. Not him.

  Slowly, she nodded. “I do still like you, Randall Beiler. Do you like me?”

  “Elizabeth, I think I’m in love with you.” While she gaped at him, he waved an impatient hand. “So where does that leave us?”

  “I suppose you are going to have to figure out if you want to court me properly.”

  “And how do you think I should do that?”

  She waved a hand. “Oh, no. I’m not going to tell you how to court me. You are a smart man, you can figure that out for yourself.”

  He groaned, but it was obvious it was all for show. “You drive a hard bargain, Elizabeth.”

  “I guess you’ll just have to decide if I’m worth the trouble.”

  “You’ve always been worth it. I was the one who wasn’t doing enough for you.” Squirming a bit, he murmured, “But you’ve got me at a disadvantage, you know. I’m stuck in this house for at least a week. And even after that I won’t be able to get around easily for a while.”

  “How is that a disadvantage?”

  He practically rolled his eyes. “Elizabeth, how am I supposed to court you properly while I’m stuck in a cast? I may not be much for romance, but even I know that ain’t how to treat a girl properly.”

  She didn’t even try to hide her smile. “I don’t know. But I feel sure and for certain that you’ll be able to think of something.”

  He held out a hand. “Help me get back to my room?”

  Clasping his hand, she nodded. “Of course.”

  When they got him to a standing position and were slowly making their way to his bedroom, he looked down at her. “Any chance I’ll get a kiss good night?”

  “Nope.”

  “Not even on the cheek?”

  “Not even there,” she said. “You may kiss my cheek when you are courting.”

  In reply, he leaned closer and placed his lips on her brow. “Danke, Beth. Danke for waiting for me. You won’t regret it, I promise.”

  She had a feeling she already did not.

  chapter twenty-five

  Her house was so packed full of people, Judith was sure all of their nei
ghbors assumed they were having a grand celebration. The reality couldn’t be further from the truth.

  Inside, there was enough tension in the room to cut with a knife. Hardly anyone was talking; most of the people were simply staring out the window.

  As they had been for the last hour.

  Never had the time gone so slowly. They were all awaiting the arrival of Kendra’s sisters and their husbands.

  Leaning close to her on the hard wooden bench against the wall of the entryway, Ben whispered, “Are you as surprised as I am that everyone came over?”

  “Jah. I thought maybe Mamm or Daed would want to come over. Never everyone.”

  “This is a blessing, it is.”

  “To be sure.” When Judith had told her parents Bernie’s news, she’d known she’d find support from them. They’d always supported her in any way they could her whole life. But she hadn’t expected them to immediately send Anson out on a mission to inform the rest of the family that they would all be needed at Judith and Ben’s haus in two days’ time.

  When Judith had learned of the plot, she’d attempted to tell her mamm that having her whole family in her keeping room when Kendra’s relatives arrived wasn’t a good idea. A bunch of Grabers together was an invitation to hear everyone’s opinions, whether they had been asked to share or not.

  All Judith could think was that her gregarious family would scare off the sisters, not to mention upset baby James. But her mother had waved aside her misgivings in short order.

  “Judith, I don’t fault Kendra’s sisters for wanting to see what kind of place baby James has found himself in. I’m sure they’re curious. But if they are coming over to inspect the baby’s life with you, then they need to see that James is not being adopted just by you and Ben. He’s going to be adopted and loved by the whole family.”

  “You don’t think we might be a bit, ah, overwhelming?”

  Her mother had looked completely confused by the question. “And why would anyone think that?”

  And just like that, she’d given in. Two days ago, Judith had been too overwhelmed to argue much. Especially when in the next breath her mother had begun to plan what they would be serving to the guests.