Seeking Nirvana

by V. L. Brock

  Liv was the first one to break the earsplitting silence, her hands gliding with teasing purpose over my body. “Happy birthday, Liam, we have a surprise for you.”

  “A surprise? For me? What is it?” he asked cynically.

  “It wouldn’t be a surprise if we told you, would it?” I muttered and crooked my index finger, demonstrating the universal language of ‘get your ass over here now’.

  He strode towards us. His hands reached up to his throat where he unraveled his sapphire tie. He was pulling it through the collar when Liv and I stepped into the master bedroom.

  “So what’s this surprise then?”

  The mattress shifted as I flounced over into the center. Liv’s alluring form crawled to meet my trembling, nerve-wrecked body in the middle. We were both on our knees as Liam stood in the doorway, his shoulder braced against the wood, the corner of his mouth twitching infinitesimally while his eyes narrowed in bemusement.

  Filling my lungs to capacity, I took a liberal breath, hoping that the volume of air I possessed would somehow enhance my confidence and rid me of the terrified, anxious feeling that was solidifying in my belly, and turning my blood to ice in my veins.

  Finally, the one word which traveled on my exhalation ricocheted around the room as both Liv and I unraveled our satin robe ties, and let the material skate and float down our bodies, “Us.”

  Liam’s green and blue speckled eyes widened, his jaw slacked as we turned to face each other. Liv gripped the back of my head and wrenched my mouth over hers. She was inexorable. Lips pressed firmly against mine, her tongue brushed and stroked against me while we explored with sensuous sweeps through each other’s mouths. As we pulled back a fraction, I heard Liam pant and felt him close the distance between us as mine and Liv’s tongues coiled around each other freely, offering him a front row viewing.

  “Oh, my God. I can’t believe how hot you two look right now. I’m already getting fucking hard.”

  Liv pulled away. She eyed him up with a calculating lopsided smirk. He was unbuttoning his shirt, belt buckle and then his pants, when she teased, “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

  Kneading my tits with exact precision, she tweaked my nipple and I groaned as pleasure spiked through the peaking flesh down my body to end at the most sensitive point between my parted thighs. Her soft, full lips met the curve of my neck and descended over my throat and chest, before fondling the straining peak with her tongue. Flicking and circling it, I begged for her to take it fully into the warmth of her mouth. She answered my pleas and began to suck gently. My body’s reaction impossible to fight as my wetness pooled.

  It was such a turn on having my best friend touch and taste me in such an intimate way while my boyfriend was watching, knowing that we were turning him on beyond belief. And I knew we were, because as my right hand cradled Liv’s head as she teased my nipple, my left hand was fisting around Liam’s stiff cock. He gasped and I felt that warm spurt of pre-come secreting from his tip as I massaged it over the crown. Sliding down his length, his veins were prominent under my touch, while he jerked in my hand.

  “Both of you lay back” he ordered. We did as we were told like good girls for the birthday boy.

  I rolled my head against the pillow to face the brunette at my right. She smiled and whispered that I was doing amazing, that this is something he would always remember, and would always be grateful to have experienced.

  I smiled back and faintly nodded.

  Wiggling her eyebrows, she dipped two fingers of her left hand into her mouth, and reached down to make contact with my core. Her fingers were so warm. I wasn’t sure whether she did a good job at lubing them up, or whether the anticipation alone had got me that wet.

  I threw my head back and circled my hips as her fingers orbited my clit, gliding over my slickness before plunging inside of me. My walls constricted around her as she manipulated that spot deep inside of my body, which spawned incoherent whimpers and caused more juices to flow.

  I met Liam’s gaze at the foot of the bed. His jaw was working, his teeth clamped shut as he watched his girlfriend being royally finger-fucked by her best friend. He tore the foil packet which he recovered from the dresser drawer, and rolled it down his length. The sound of my juices spilling from me every time Liv withdrew and massaged my throbbing clit once again was driving me crazy, let alone what it was doing to him.

  I reciprocated and dipped my fingers into my mouth before touching her. I trailed down her landing-strip as her thighs unsealed, falling open farther, allowing me entry to fondle and play with her, the way she was playing with me.

  “Oh, my God…rub her good, Kady, baby. Rub that pussy good,” Liam’s voice was husky and unsteady. I felt my heart beating ruthlessly in my chest, the blood gushing through my eardrums was practically deafening. Yet Liv’s guttural groans and moans surmounted the muffled ringing. Her hips gyrated, her clit swelled under my strokes.

  The next thing I knew, I felt the bed dip and Liam’s tongue was working over my steeped fingers. I splayed them; holding Liv completely exposed, giving an unobstructed access to her center. Mouth agape, I stared on as he glided his tongue over her, around her, in her. She tipped her head back, her hips bucking as did mine when I spotted my boyfriend’s eyes darken almost instantly. He studied me intently as he licked, sucked and French kissed my friends cunt.

  And even though I felt that surge of overwhelming jealousy at that point, I couldn’t help but find myself even more turned on by it.

  My clit was aching. I shoved my pelvis upward, but Liv’s fingers had stopped moving. They just lay there, pressed against the swelling ball of nerve endings which were screaming for release. It was torture.

  Writhing beside me, she whimpered, “Oh, God, I know what you mean now, Kady. He is so fucking good with his tongue.” My scrutiny dove back upon my boyfriend, who was resting with his face in-between her golden thighs. His lids fluttered closed and he released an approving, feral groan as he sucked on her pussy.

  She begged him for more as he pulled away.

  But he didn’t give in…yet.

  Her fingers drilled back inside me at a brutal speed, for which I was thankful. I tweaked my left nipple between my thumb and index finger, as my hips twisted passionately with burning desire. Liam fisted his cock and traced his engorged head up the length of her dowsed slit. She squirmed and swore until the atmosphere in the room turned blue.

  “You’re so wet, Liv. Did Kady and I just make you that wet?”

  “Yes, I need to come. I can’t stand this,” she pleaded.

  The ball of jealous rage hardened and weighted in my belly, in my chest, yet in that moment, I was powerless to stop. All I wanted was to come, and as out of sorts as it may have been, there was something about this feeling of degradation, this humiliation, that was adding to my already exceptionally aroused state.

  “Do you like her fingers inside you, Kady, baby?”

  “Yes,” I keened.

  “Be a good girl, Kady, watch me as I play with her clit with my cock.”

  I did as I was told and felt my heart in my stomach, the throbbing traveled into my back. My pussy was soaking as Liv pulled out and rubbed my lips with my own sweet juices.

  Liam bent down a fraction and dipped his tongue into my mouth. I could taste and smell my friends honeyed juices from her cunt pasted all over him, like she had marked her territory. When he pulled back, she bucked her hips and I observed as my man’s cock slowly descended inside. He pulled his hips back then thrust into her again. His eyes screwed shut, he gasped when his hands found their way to her hips. He clutched tightly. “Fuck, Liv…you’re so fucking tight,” he growled, pushing his way in her body until he was buried to the root.

  “And Kady’s so fucking wet.” She set her eyes on me. “Are you okay with this, chick?”

  I felt like we had already gone past the point of no return, so I just whispered, “Yes.”

  “You’re okay with your boyfriend fucking me? You’re ok
ay watching him pull his cock from my cunt, seeing it glisten with my pussy juices instead of yours? You’re okay with him making me come?”

  That was it. So much humiliation, so much jealousy, but I was powerless. My back tightened, my toes curled, my body sang in ecstasy as my eyes rolled and my core felt like it was pulled back in a slingshot.

  As I exploded over her hand and my body rode out the waves, Liv screamed and trembled. Liam soon followed as he called out my friends name, stilled, and crashed down atop of her slender, yet curvy naked body, before pulling out of the cunt which was responsible for his release.

  ********

  I pulled my head back when I snapped out from my reflection. I was met by Walker leaning in and whispering something in Liv’s ear. By the way she was beaming and tittering, you would have thought he just stuck his tongue in it. And for a brief minute, I felt that sensation of envy and possessiveness which I had been seemingly accustomed to when it came to Irish, resurface and send my world and logic in a spin.

  Unable and unwilling to force myself to behold the spectacle the two were engaging in, I hung my head. It made me nauseated with desire and resent. Nevertheless, I knew I had no right to feel that way. I was already in a relationship, a serious, long-term relationship with someone who could offer me a future. Someone who, even though I discovered his lies and was something we would have to discuss, had looked after me for all these years. He bought a house for us…that’s not something you do unless there’s a future promised.

  Liv pushed herself from the curvature of the bench and held her hand out to Walker. He accepted and freed himself from the seat. “We’re going to dance. Are you coming, Chick?”

  The bitter taste of fury was rising, and there was nothing I could do to halt its progression. I rolled my lips over my teeth and shook my head, abating the stinging bitterness back to my stomach. I gestured to the bar at my left with a cock of my head. “No, I’ll be at the bar,” I shouted over some female’s throaty voice singing about You Got The Love, and my eyes timidly fluttered up to chance a glimpse at Walker.

  His brow furrowed somewhat quizzically, but I forced a smile, albeit a sad smile but a smile nonetheless. Liv merely nodded and began escorting him down the steps to my right, to the throng of raging hormones on the dance floor, while I stomped my way to the bar.

  I rolled the fourth shot of the night over my lips then slammed it on the bar. “Another,” I called to the bartender, pointing at the empty glass.

  “The rate you’re knocking them back, you either had a bad day, or you’re––”

  “Don’t even try and go there, buddy,” I hissed at the guy sporting a buzz cut as he took up the adjacent stool. Lifting and draining the clear liquid in the glass, I rolled it over my lips, slammed it on the bar, and called for another.

  “I’m Tyler.”

  Unenthusiastic, I craned my head to the right and gaped at the man with a raised brow. He held out his hand and after an ephemeral second of reluctance, I accepted. “I’m confused, pleased to meet you.”

  “One of those days is it, confused?” he smiled.

  My shot waited suspended in mid-air. “Actually, it’s been more of a few weeks.”

  By the time I slammed the glass back onto the white counter, which shone lilac under the ultra violet lights, my new drinking partner, Tyler, had already ordered another four shots of tequila. He was asking me if I wanted to talk about it, and my instant response to that stupid question was, “I told you, I’m confused.”

  The more shots I consumed, the more relaxed I began to feel as I blocked out the couple fawning over each other behind me on the dance floor. But Tyler seemed to be getting too tactile. He snaked his arm around my waist, pulling me into him, and although I was attempting to escape his advances, he was too strong for my tipsy state. “Come on, baby. I’m sure if you give me a chance, I’ll drill some sense into you,” he slurred in my ear, his left hand wandering unabashed over the left side of my body. I felt his fingers rousing and hitching the material of my blouse higher. I tried to push him away, but it was a futile attempt due to me drowning my fucking woes.

  Alcohol is never the answer to anything.

  “Hey, I told you, no. Now stop it.”

  He pressed up against me. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s have a little fun, the night is young…” His breath was warm and bitter against my skin, his fingers browsed my hipbone.

  Luckily, the bartender saw my struggles and warned the man off, threatening him with security if he didn’t pack it in. With that being said, he raised his hands and slipped himself from the stool. Before walking away, he eyed me scornfully. “Fucking waste of time, I should have known someone dressed like that wouldn’t put out.”

  I dropped my head and gnawed on my lower lip, silently contemplating what the fuck had happened to me during the time which I cannot attest to. I had no idea why, but tears formed in my eyes as I twisted on my seat and scanned the dance floor beyond the railing and steps, to the floor below. Walker stood behind Liv; she was twisting her hips and dropping to a crouch before slithering her ass up the length of Walkers denim-clad legs. His arms were coiling around the curve of her waist when he lifted his head, holding my stare through the horde of partygoers.

  I forced a smile, before giving way to a frown as my head plunged once again.

  Slipping off the stool, I snared my clutch under my left arm. I noticed Walker’s head lift slightly in a small, ‘what’s the matter’ nod. I simply shook my head, breathed in deep, and made my way outside.

  As I stepped away from the heat and rowdiness of the club, I admonished myself for not bring a jacket. Sliding my way through the patrons that gathered outside, I was rewarded with a caramel-skinned woman breathing smoke into my face. I coughed and shook my head as I halted my lungs plea to draw in a gulp of air, which wasn’t polluted.

  Halfway down the block, I was strolling past a small store which was screened by metal shutters covered in heavy graffiti, when I heard someone calling my name. I didn’t need to turn to know it was Walker, it sounded like he was calling for someone called Katy, as he always did.

  I froze and ousted a defeated sigh.

  My frozen body was rounded. He was standing sturdily and rigid in front of me, his thumbs hooked through his belt loops as he shrugged. “What the fuck? Why’d you leave, darlin’?

  Why did I leave? Fuck, we could have been there all night with that answer, and a whole lot of embarrassment for me afterwards. I flailed my head, my blond hair whipping around my face. “Walker, please. Just leave me alone,” I implored on an outbreath.

  “Not until you tell me what the fuck’s wrong.” His eyes were wide and grave, his jaw tight and enticing with all that gruff. Relinquishing his hoops, he huddled his hands inside his pockets and raised his shoulders once again. All I could imagine was that panther flexing on his back. “Was it me? Did I do something to offend ya, darlin’? Because if I did––”

  We were obviously beginning to cause a display, because every person who skirted us made it well aware that they were hoping to catch a bit of gossip, with the way their eyes lingered on us. Fucking vultures.

  “Walker, are you just going to stand there, because this is causing a scene,” I hissed.

  “’Aye, you’re damn fucking right I am.”

  I sneered and cocked my head. “Fine, carry on,” I replied unfettered, and circumvented his unyielding, God-like body.

  Five steps I succeeded in taking, when the ground was abruptly pulled away from my feet. Strong, naked arms that were both warm and secure were bound around my waist. His hands locked in a vice-like grip and rested on my stomach.

  “Get the fuck off me you looney.” I squirmed, kicked and flailed my arms and legs around like a baby bird taking first flight. His grip tightened around me, almost halting my ability to breathe. “Walker, I mean it, get the fuck off me you asshole,” I screamed, still he didn’t let up.

  “Kady,” he whispered through my hair which screened my e
ar. Concentrating on his voice, I began to lax instantly. “People are watching, darlin’. Don’t think I’ll let them stop me from getting the answers I want from you.”

  Feeling his words as the outbreath they journeyed on pasted to my skin, was like my personal sedation. My squirming halted, my muscles loosened, and the veins and tendons which strained in his forearms as he supported my body weight, didn’t go unnoticed as his overpowering me caused me to hang my head.

  “Good girl,” he breathed; my body’s inner chill spawned a decadent tingle which I wished could have stayed at one location. “Now, I’m going to count to three. I’ll set you back down, but you have to meet me halfway. Understand, darlin’?”

  In the python-constriction of his brawny arms, I strived to draw in a meaningful gulp of air. It was a futile attempt to say the least. I nodded.

  Counting low and even in my ear, my feet were finally reunited with the solidity of the sidewalk. His arms slowly unraveled from my middle. I turned around to face him with tangible caution.

  “Now what was all that about, Kady? Why’d you leave?” his voice soft with concern.

  I stared him in the eye for what I longed to be a lifetime. They pleaded with me, they were inquisitive…they were the Indian Ocean which I was more than happy to be stranded in. But I knew it was wrong. The feelings I had, the attraction…it was all very wrong.

  “I”––I forced a swallow and gathered my brow––“I couldn’t watch you two fawning over each other.”

  Arms folded across his broad chest, Walker’s eyebrows instantly shot up to his hairline. Liv obviously must have been rubbing her hands through his sweat-infused locks because it was all rumpled yet so fucking sexy. That wayward part of me envied her ability to indulge in just that.

  When a diminutive grin marked the left corner of his mouth, his brow began to loosen, and his eyes narrowed with question, “Were you jealous, darlin’?” he asked, his mouth conceding to that tiny twitch, and sending him into a modestly arrogant smirk. I was positive that that smirk alone could have won the title of Sexiest Expression of the Year.