Alaska Secrets

by Sarah Varland

  “When do you think it’s safe to leave?” she made herself ask. Never mind that she was the one with law-enforcement experience...

  Immediately Ellie felt bad for the thought, for acting like she knew so much more than Seth. Yes, she had law-enforcement training and that counted for something. But Seth was smart, and she especially trusted his instincts.

  If he said they needed to stay, she needed to listen to him.

  He was watching her now. The look on his face said that he’d caught her emphasis, the slight snark in her tone, but rather than be angered by it, he was ignoring her outburst and just preparing to answer the question.

  That was something she’d loved about him, once. She tended to be passionate to a fault and sometimes spoke before she thought. Seth was easygoing, forgiving.

  “I think we should wait until closer to daylight.”

  She considered his words. It was a solid plan. People tended to trust darkness when they were trying to avoid detection, so leaving now meant they could possibly be walking into a trap.

  Why had someone shot at Seth? They wouldn’t have known that Seth hadn’t seen what was in the package. Was whatever it was worth killing over if someone saw it? And what was in it? A package from an Anchorage lawyer...

  New evidence in the case? Liz.

  There were a lot of options for what could be in the package. All of them urgent. Intriguing.

  Worth killing for, if you were the person the information could incriminate.

  “So...” Seth began. “I’m going to get that package when we get home.”

  “Obviously.”

  “And then we’re going to the hospital because I’d like to make sure the knife wounds don’t get infected. And then I’m going to figure out who killed my sister and would come after me, too.”

  A shiver crawled down her spine. She wished he was bluffing. She’d already lost her best friend to whoever this invisible enemy was. She didn’t want to lose him, too.

  But hadn’t she already lost him? Of her own free will?

  She glanced in his direction and knew with certainty that walking away from him was one thing, but knowing she could have prevented his death would be another.

  She wouldn’t let it happen, not if it was within her power. Which meant sticking close to him. Keeping him safe to the best of her ability, though he was a capable Alaskan, adept in the backcountry, who really didn’t need her protection. Yes, that was part of what she’d do, but ultimately if she wanted to keep him safe, do what she hadn’t done for his sister...

  She had to walk back into this case. Face the past. Her own guilt.

  This aching loss she couldn’t get rid of.

  Because Seth’s life, and maybe hers, depended on it.

  * * *

  Daylight came slowly this time of year, and Seth watched it arrive from just outside the cabin door, where he’d quietly positioned himself about an hour ago to watch and see if anything caught his attention. So far no signs of danger remained. The threat may have passed for now. He’d tried to convince Ellie to get some sleep, but she’d stayed awake, just quietly sitting there, petting his dogs.

  He had so many questions for her. How much time was a guy supposed to give a girl who’d come back into his life unexpectedly like this before he asked her about it?

  She’d walked away once, and Seth wasn’t the kind of man who couldn’t respect a woman’s decision. She didn’t want him. She’d made that perfectly clear by leaving. He thought back on her surprise at his reaction earlier, when he’d talked about searching for her after she’d left. Could she really have thought he’d just let her go? The nights he’d stayed up, missing her, feeling the emptiness in his heart like a never-ending ache, the nights he lay awake in bed, wondering what had gone wrong...

  They’d promised to marry each other and instead she’d abandoned him. He’d ridden a roller-coaster spiral of grief, betrayal and numbness.

  She’d broken her promise to him and his life had never been the same. He still ached. Especially now that he’d seen her, talked to her again and remembered all that he’d lost.

  But friends?

  He’d settle for that if it meant having Ellie back in his life again.

  Seth sighed and leaned back against the door. He was pathetic. If he was one of his friends, he’d smack himself on the back of the head for being this turned around in his head over a woman. But it wasn’t just any woman, it was Ellie, the woman he’d believed was the one.

  The door eased open behind him, and Ellie stepped out. Her eyes were sleepy, and she was blinking. Good. Maybe she’d finally rested at least a little when he’d come outside.

  “See anything?” she whispered.

  He shook his head. “I think we’re clear.” The sky was lightening on the edges, to the gorgeous, deep cerulean of an Alaska sky. “You ready to go?”

  “Well, if I could have grabbed a quick shower, I would have, but strangely I can’t find one here,” she teased.

  Seth laughed, tension in his shoulders relaxing some, though the pain from his wound made it impossible to fully relax. Much as he hated to, he needed to see a doctor when he got back to town. But right now he was in the woods, alone with Ellie, thinking for the first time they had a shot at being friends again. Before now, he would have said they wouldn’t be able to reclaim any of that casual familiarity that made it okay to joke with someone. But they had, like they’d stepped back in time, but glossed over everything deeply personal. Friends. Maybe they really could do this. “Okay, sure, so there’s nothing to do to get ready except hook the dogs back up. I get it.”

  She smiled up at him.

  They prepared the dogs and started off. Seth was too busy looking around to talk to Ellie. Besides, she was holding herself as close to the sled as she could, away from him where he stood behind her. He guessed the proximity was more awkward for her today, now that she knew that he knew who she was.

  As they made the ride, he kept his attention trained on his dogs, noting that everyone appeared to have rested well despite their unconventional stop at the cabin. Last night hadn’t been their routine at all, but they’d behaved well in the cabin, no behavior conflicts, and they all had slept well. They looked fantastic this morning. He was proud of this team he’d put together.

  When he wasn’t watching the dogs, he watched the trail, the woods around them, for any sign of suspicious activity. Seth wasn’t naive. He knew the danger hadn’t passed, but they had to make progress. Had to get back to town.

  Still, he found himself flinching at shadows, standing even closer to Ellie out of a desire to protect her. She was fiercely independent and would say that she could take care of herself. And she could.

  But that didn’t stop Seth from wanting to take care of her, anyway.

  As they approached the trail to his house, he called out gee, the command to go right. His leaders reacted immediately, and he leaned into the turn.

  “You ever mush before?” he asked. She hadn’t years ago, but a lot had changed since then.

  She shook her head. “No. I’ve always wanted to, though. I usually try to volunteer at Iditarod as a handler when I can.”

  “Maybe one day you can learn,” he said without thinking and immediately wished he could pull the words back, reel them in like a fish in summer. He hadn’t meant to imply that they’d keep in touch. Sure, they lived in the same town, but they hadn’t run into each other yet. He had to assume she’d done that on purpose. She was going to help him find whoever was after him, he knew that much. But after that?

  “I’d like that,” she said, surprising him into silence.

  They pulled into the yard, and he set the snow hook, kicking it deep to hold the team in place. Ellie stepped off the sled and started to walk away.

  “Wait,” he told her, uneasiness churning in his gut. The yard looked quiet. Empty
. But looks could be deceiving.

  “You think someone’s here?” she asked in a whisper, stopping beside him.

  Seth listened. Watched his dogs for any kind of fear reaction, but they showed no signs of danger and Seth didn’t see any, either.

  They were safe.

  For now.

  “I think we’re all right,” Seth tried to reassure her, but kept his gaze fixed on the dark woods at the edge of his property. Circumstances could change at any moment and he wanted to be ready. He’d been unprepared last time. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, let that happen again.

  Their safety secured for now, Seth went about his routine. He petted every dog, told them how well they’d done, and then unharnessed them and hooked them back to the tethers near their houses. The pain in his side where the knife wounds were had faded to a dull throb, but he knew he needed medical attention.

  “They don’t mind the chains?” Ellie asked from where she stood watching.

  “It’s good for them to have the option to run around and exercise, actually. And to socialize with other dogs.” He smiled at his leader, Spots, and rubbed her behind the ears as he glanced around again, still checking for any sign of intruders.

  When the last dog was secured, he started toward the house, Ellie on his heels. The door of the house was closed, but not locked as he’d left it. His chest tightened and he felt his heartbeat quicken. Seth paused, took a slow breath and looked in Ellie’s direction, shook his head. “I left this locked.”

  “And it’s not locked now?” she confirmed.

  He shook his head and slowly eased the door open, staying on the front porch while it swung full open.

  He waited, let his eyes adjust to the darkness of inside.

  The scene was worse than he’d expected. Overturned tables, emptied drawers and mess everywhere. He was a fairly neat guy and liked to think he didn’t keep a lot of junk, but the place was destroyed. Definitely not how he’d have preferred Ellie to see his house for the first time.

  But no sign of anyone still inside. He kept himself on the alert just in case.

  “We need to clear the house and make sure no one is in here. I’m not going to wander around and be caught off guard.” Ellie was using her cop voice and Seth would have smiled at how quickly she went back to her old self when the situation called for it, but nothing about right now was a smiling kind of situation.

  “You’re right. One problem. Neither of us has weapons.”

  “Do you have any inside?”

  “My bedroom.”

  “Let’s go there first.”

  He did as she told him, moving silently through the darkened rooms, listening for any signs of movement and hearing none. When they were in the room, he opened his gun safe, handed her a 10mm and chose his favorite .45 for himself. Both handguns stayed loaded.

  “This room is obviously clear. Next room.”

  They worked their way through the house. All clear.

  In the living room, they lowered their weapons out of ready stance.

  “They had to have found it,” she said, and he could feel how close she was to giving up.

  “Hey.” He pulled her toward him, then startled and pulled his hands away from where they’d rested on her upper arms. “I—I’m sorry, El,” he stammered. Fear and grief overwhelmed him, as well as a deep sense of regret over the past. What could he have done differently back then to keep Ellie in his life? How had he failed her so much that she’d thought leaving was the only option?

  And was he only going to fail her again now?

  Even with all those thoughts pressing against him, he knew he’d need to keep his head. He had no right to touch her, no place in her life that made physical contact something that should be assumed.

  “No, it’s okay.”

  He’d surprised himself, not hesitating to touch her, and had to remind himself she wasn’t his to be close to like that. Not anymore...even if their shared loss still hung between them.

  “It won’t happen again,” he insisted, clearing his throat and hoping it was a promise he could keep. He’d already lost his sister, lost his relationship with Ellie and now someone was after him. Maybe both of them. How much grief, how much challenge could one person be expected to face?

  “Where, um, where did you put the package?” she asked, drawing his attention back to the task at hand.

  “In my closet. I’ve got a tiny attic space that’s almost impossible to access, but I wanted to be extra careful, so I put it up there, inside an old suitcase.”

  Please let it be there.

  He entered his small room and felt Ellie right behind him. It was...strange to have her so much in his space, in his house like this, but it wasn’t his main focus right now. Instead he went to the closet, which had also clearly been disturbed by the intruders, and opened the attic.

  There was the suitcase. He reached for it.

  Inside was the package. It was a small manila envelope. Undisturbed. Relief flooded him.

  “Is it there?” Ellie called from below.

  “It’s here.” He climbed back down and held it out to her.

  She shook her head and pushed it back in his direction. “No, it was sent to you. You open it.”

  He pulled it open, slid out a sheet of paper, ran his eyes over it and held it where Ellie could read, too.

  Dear Seth,

  If you’re reading this, I’m afraid I was right. My life was in danger, and I’m no longer alive...

  He stopped. Glanced down at the signature at the bottom of the page. Liz.

  His heartbeat thudded in his ears, loud enough to drown every other emotion with the sound. She’d been his little sister and he’d failed her. Why had someone done this?

  Would this letter tell him? Had Liz known?

  He’d never felt so heavy that his shoulders sagged like this, never felt so overwhelmed.

  He looked at Ellie, her eyes were as wide as his own, as though she could feel how shaken he was and understood.

  “Not only does it have to do with Liz’s death, but...” He trailed off.

  “She wrote you a letter.”

  And whatever was in the letter was worth attacking him for. Which meant that yes, this was his chance to find Liz’s killers. Bring them to justice, once and for all...even if that meant risking everything.

  It wouldn’t bring Liz back, his beloved sister, but maybe it would give him a chance to keep living in a way he realized he hadn’t quite been able to. He glanced at Ellie. And maybe it would help, too.

  Now all they had to do was catch the killers before they paid with their own lives...

  FOUR

  “Wait, wait...” Ellie spoke up. Seth glanced in her direction and saw that her eyes were squeezed shut and she was shaking her head. “Why now? Why are you just now getting this package?”

  Valid question, but he’d have finished reading the letter before asking them. He glanced down at it. There was a chance she might explain.

  She was Liz. Liz had written them a letter, had it sent by her lawyer posthumously. Dizziness struck Seth as he took a deep breath, remembering the sound of his sister’s laugh, the emptiness of the last few years without her.

  “Let’s read it together first.” He took a breath before he spoke but still heard the shakiness in his own voice. In last few hours, he’d been able to maintain some degree of composure, running on adrenaline maybe, but now he was losing that steadiness and could feel emotions threatening to crash like a rogue wave.

  Ellie nodded and sank down, sitting with legs crossed on the floor, her back against the bed.

  He joined her, and while her closeness overwhelmed him, it somehow also made him stronger. It had always been that way. Ellie was one of the strongest people he knew, and her fortitude was contagious. With her, he believed he could be the kind of hero she
deserved. She made people believe in themselves.

  But he knew firsthand that missing her had its own kind of power. Her absence was as strong as her presence and if she’d made him stronger when she was there, he’d felt the pieces of himself chip away, felt broken, like he’d been left with half of himself when she left.

  Depending on her, needing her, was dangerous. Because she’d leave again, he knew that. And he’d be right back at broken.

  He took a breath, summoning every bit of courage, and read aloud. “‘Dear Seth, if you’re reading this, I’m afraid I was right. My life was in danger, and I’m no longer alive...’

  “‘If Ellerie is okay—it’s too much for me to consider she might not be, but I’m afraid if she started investigating and I’m dead, she might be, too—please read her this letter, also. Make sure she knows she was the best friend I could have asked for.’”

  A sob broke out of Ellie’s throat, and she cried quietly. He stopped reading, not sure how to comfort her, how much closeness she wanted. He finally reached for her hand, squeezed it and then lessened the pressure on it.

  She didn’t let go. He didn’t, either.

  Seth took another breath. “‘I wanted to tell her and you my suspicions, but Aaron figured out I was wary of him, I think, and I never had much time alone with either of you. Aaron is involved in something bad. He’s picking up some kind of smuggled goods—drugs, I think—north of Anchorage, somewhere along the Glenn Highway. I’ve heard things in his phone conversations, enough to start to put pieces together, and I’ve found some emails of his to an address I don’t recognize. I asked a computer friend for help, and he said they were sent from a computer on a network in a shopping mall in Raven Pass. One of the businesses in that strip mall is Raven Pass Expeditions, and they take regular trips from there to Eklutna, which is on the highway north of Anchorage. Maybe a front for the smuggling, right? Maybe a coincidence. I don’t know. I know Aaron is involved. I know someone in that shopping mall is involved, at least at the time that I’m writing this. I’m going to seal this letter and ask my lawyer to mail it to you three years after my death, should I die unexpectedly. My thinking is this—three years should be enough time for someone in law enforcement, besides Ellerie, to figure this out and arrest these people. The only way I want either of you involved is if these people are still walking free in three years’ time. Otherwise I’d never ask you to risk it. I dearly hope—’” now his voice broke “‘—I dearly hope you never see this letter. I hope three years from this moment we are all sitting around a fire, camping somewhere, and I’m telling you about the crazy paranoia I had... But in case you see it, in case the worst happens, I love you. You were the best brother I could have asked for.’”