Love Beyond Wanting

by Bethany Claire

  I kissed him again and slipped my own hand down to latch onto him.

  “I love you, too. Now, it’s time for you to make good on your word.”

  *

  There was a knock on the door early the next morning, but I stayed in bed as Maddock hurried to dress himself so he could answer the door.

  I expected it to be one of the members of The Eight simply coming to chide Maddock for skipping his morning duties. When I heard Nicol’s voice, I scrambled to pull the blankets over me as he stepped into the room.

  “I’m sorry to disturb the both of ye. Brachan and I spent the whole night talking. I think it only right that we give him a chance to prove himself. He wishes to see Machara, to show all of us that he can resist her. We will stay gathered in the stairwell, ready to intervene if necessary. We know Machara will try to bend him to her will. If he can resist her, we will dedicate ourselves to finding a way to free him from her.”

  At least Nicol’s time with Brachan had produced some sort of productive plan.

  Maddock seemed to agree. “’Tis a good plan, Nicol. How are ye?”

  There was a short pause then Nicol answered softly, “I am sad that I missed time with him. I doona doubt the lad’s heart. I just doona know if anyone with such ties to Machara can resist her. But Maddock, he has one condition for appearing before Machara.”

  “Which is?”

  “He will only do so if Kate stands by his side.”

  Maddock slammed the door in Nicol’s face.

  Chapter 37

  “I know that I canna tell ye not to go with him, but I wish ye wouldna do so. I’ve seen what Machara can make another do. Calder was a good man before Machara gained control of him. He fought, he raged against her, but he was powerless to resist all that she called him to do.”

  I appreciated Maddock’s worry, but there was no way I wasn’t going to follow Brachan down into the dungeon. If he needed me, I was happy to be at his side.

  I also couldn’t help but wonder if this was how I was meant to defeat her? Could my belief in Brachan, my support of him, be enough to help him resist her, and as a result be the way that I was meant to fulfill my part in her destruction? Could it really be so simple?

  I doubted it, but I was certainly willing to try.

  “I have to, Maddock. Brachan won’t go down there without me, and none of this will be over until he stands before his mother and faces her once and for all.”

  He paced the room as I dressed. “We should wait a few days. Try and prepare ye. Try and prepare him.”

  With my dress pulled up to my shoulders, I turned my back toward Maddock so he could help me with the laces.

  “We can’t wait, Maddock. Every day that passes it is more difficult for Brachan to resist her. To delay would only decrease his chances of defeating her. We should do this, and we should do this now.”

  *

  Things came together quickly. Sydney and her crew would leave via Morna’s magic and Mom and David would go into the village for safety, in case things turned south here at the castle.

  Once all those not directly involved in the plan were away for the day, we gathered in Nicol’s room so we could all go down into the dungeon together.

  Brachan was already inside when I got there, standing with his back toward the doorway. I walked over and placed a gentle hand on his arm.

  “Hey.” He twisted to look at me, his eyes weary. “You don’t look so good.”

  “I doona feel good, lass. My head aches dreadfully, and I feel like an arse.”

  “Why do you feel like that?”

  “I shouldna be asking ye to do this for me. But ye are the only one here who believes I can resist her. I…I need ye, Kate.”

  I lifted my hand to his cheek and cupped it gently.

  He looked so young, his eyes desperate and worried, but I knew he probably wasn’t much younger than me.

  “It’s fine. I don’t mind doing this. And you can resist her. I know you can. Are you ready to do this?”

  The rest of The Eight were now gathered inside Nicol’s room. There was no reason to wait any longer.

  “Aye, lass. I’m ready.”

  *

  Machara said nothing as Brachan stepped into view, and she didn’t even seem to notice me as I moved over beside him.

  She took her time looking him up and down. My heart ached for him as she did so.

  She didn’t look at him as if he were her son. She looked at him as if he were a thing—a tool she meant to use for her amusement.

  When she did speak, there was no love in her voice for him. “Ye certainly take after yer father, lad. The fae is barely visible in ye. Mayhap a little in yer eyes, but if ye dinna know to look for it, ye wouldna know.”

  “Thank Brighid for that. Ye mean nothing to me, Machara. I want nothing to do with anything ye have planned for me. I willna harm my father. Nor will I harm the men who placed ye here.”

  She laughed and flicked her wrist as Brachan dropped to his knees. He screamed and covered his ears with his hands. The sound of Machara’s laughter grew to otherworldly levels.

  When she spoke again, her voice was different—booming, and scary as hell. “Can ye not see, lad? Ye doona have a choice. Ye are mine, and ye will do as I bid. Grab the lass next to ye, Brachan. Wrap yer hands around her neck and twist until it snaps.”

  He turned toward me, and his eyes were filled with a plea. I kneeled in front of him and tried to keep my eyes locked with his.

  “Block it out, Brachan. You are not hers. You are the person you want to be—your mother’s son, your real mother, the one who raised you. You are Nicol’s son. You were raised in goodness, and goodness is what is in your heart.”

  He nodded as if he understood, but his hands shook as he pulled them away from his ears. He began to sob as he spoke, “I’m so sorry, lass. I doona want to hurt ye.”

  He lunged, but Maddock was on him before he could reach me. In an instant the other men pulled him away, chaining him with magic as they hauled him from the dungeon.

  Machara’s laugh echoed through the castle for hours.

  Chapter 38

  In my opinion, the men overreacted to the entire situation. Brachan had lunged, but I’d never felt frightened. I believe he would’ve been able to stop himself. And it only took a moment after they pulled him away for him to gain composure of himself once again.

  Compared to Brachan, I was frantic. As they dragged him up the stairs, I ran after them, pulling on the arms of any of the men I could reach, trying to get their attention as I begged them not to hurt him.

  It was Nicol who’d finally been able to calm me by reaching out to grip my shoulder with his hand.

  “I canna kill him, lass. I willna let them harm him. I doona know what we shall do, but I canna end his life.”

  Assured that Brachan was at least free from physical harm, I decided that the most useful thing I could do was to spend the day in the library and look through books to see if I could stumble across some way to help him. But I found nothing, and at some point in the day, I fell asleep with my head in a book.

  “Lass, ye had me scared to death. I looked all over the castle for ye.” Maddock lifted me from my hunched position and gathered me in his arms like a child. He looked weary and sad.

  “I’m sorry.” I yawned as my eyes opened. “I fell asleep. I was looking for something that might help.”

  “Did ye find anything?”

  “No.” I lay my head into his chest as I struggled to remember my dream. It felt important that I not let it slip away.

  “Where are ye, lass? Ye appear verra far away.”

  “I’m trying to remember something. I was dreaming about the book I read back home. About…I think it was about Calder.” I could see bits of the text flash before my eyes as Maddock carried me up the stairs. I tried to recall what it said. “Oh my God!”

  I tapped his shoulder so he would set me down.

  “Maddock, I know what it was.”
/>   He lowered me, his expression curious. “What was it, lass?’

  “Calder fell in love with a fae, yes? And that fae was turned into a human. Perhaps we can find a way to make Brachan fully human—to remove the fae from him.”

  “Ye do remember what happened to the lass Calder fell in love with, aye? She couldna bear her humanness once she had it. She threw herself from a cliff.”

  “Yes, but Brachan isn’t fully fae. Even Machara admitted that he has more of Nicol than her within him. He would be able to survive it because he already thinks of himself as human.”

  He stepped away and crossed his arms skeptically. “He may be more human than fae, but he still has magic, lass. If ’twas stripped from him, ’twould be a terrible loss.”

  “I think it’s a price he would be willing to pay to be free of Machara.”

  Maddock shrugged. “Mayhap so, but even if ’twas possible, Machara would never do it.”

  I had an idea. One I knew Maddock would hate. “Maybe we don’t need Machara.”

  “I know of no other fae, lass.”

  I smiled and Maddock’s expression immediately grew concerned. “I do. Machara’s father. He hates Machara. Perhaps we could get him to remove the fae from Brachan.”

  “Lass, how do ye expect us to find him?”

  “Machara will tell us. You already told me yourself. She thinks she’s unbeatable. She won’t mind telling me because she doesn’t think it will matter.”

  Maddock took my hand and began to walk in the direction of Nicol’s bedchamber. “I suppose there will be no talking ye out of this, aye lass?”

  I shook my head and smiled. “None.”

  “Then we shall do it together.”

  Chapter 39

  “Mayhap yer braver than I believed. I nearly had him kill ye, yet ye’ve come to see me again.”

  Maddock and I stood side by side, but this time as we faced her, Maddock allowed me to speak for myself.

  “Machara, I need you to tell me where your father is.”

  “My father? What could ye possibly want with him?” Her tone was decidedly more intrigued than angry.

  “I want to go to him and ask him if he will make Brachan fully human like you did with Calder’s faerie lover.”

  She lifted a brow as she tilted her chin up. “Why would ye not ask me?”

  “I’m no fool, Machara. I know you would never do that for Brachan.”

  “Ye are a fool if ye wish to go anywhere near my father, lass. He will either kill ye, woo ye, or keep ye in the land of the fae until ye are old and wilted.”

  Perhaps she was right. But this was the part I was meant to play in Machara’s possible defeat. I could feel it in my bones. While I didn’t know Machara’s father, I didn’t believe he would kill me. If what her father wanted more than anything in the world was his daughter’s demise, why wipe out the woman destined to play a role in that very demise?

  Machara, of course, didn’t know that.

  “Then what do you have to lose by telling me?”

  “Not a thing, lass. ’Twill be my pleasure to send ye to yer death. Near the Isle’s far shore, two rivers meet. There is a hill, and on the other side is a clearing. Father dwells there in the land of the Fae. If he decides to see ye, he will make himself known to ye.”

  *

  Maddock and I had to wait until the middle of the night to speak with Brachan. The men, unsure of what to do with him, locked him away in the room where they’d held Calder, and each took turns keeping watch over him. Maddock had the midnight watch, and I waited until his shift was halfway over before I made my way down to the room.

  “Doona speak with him long, lass. If he agrees to do this, we shall approach the others with yer plan, but for now, we canna risk another one of the men coming along and seeing ye.”

  Nodding, I kissed him gently before stepping into the small, dark room where Brachan sat tied to a chair.

  “You could break free from them if you wished, couldn’t you?”

  I grabbed one of the candles near the doorway so that he could see my face as I approached him.

  “Kate, lass. Ye have to know I dinna mean to hurt ye. I…”

  I reached out to touch his knee. “I know that. Don’t worry. That’s not why I’m here. So…you could break free if you wanted to, couldn’t you?” I was attempting to lighten his mood, and it pleased me that he smiled just a little.

  “Aye, lass, but I’ve no wish to be free. They are right to keep me locked away.”

  “Listen, I have an idea. If there was a way to turn you fully human—to remove any of the fae from you—would you take it?”

  He didn’t hesitate, as I’d predicted. “Aye. I feel more of me disappearing every day. A fortnight ago, I loved my life, lass. All I want is to have it back.”

  “I think we should go and look for your grandfather and ask him to help.”

  “Fae canna be trusted, lass.”

  “I know, but in this case, I truly believe we have the upper hand.”

  “Anything ye need me to do, lass, I will do.”

  Chapter 40

  I tried to convince the men of my plan all on my own. We decided that would be best. That way, if they dismissed it or wouldn’t agree to help, they wouldn’t be suspicious of allowing Maddock to guard Brachan.

  They turned me down flat. Even though the best suggestion any of them had was to just keep him bound up for the foreseeable future.

  It didn’t matter. My option was the best one.

  If Laurel was here, I knew she would agree.

  Come daybreak, Maddock and I were breaking him out.

  This time tomorrow, I had every intention of being able to say I was the second woman to put a chink in that bitch’s armor.

  Chapter 41

  Just before dawn, when Maddock’s shift was set to end, Maddock released Brachan, and we made our way out of the castle as quietly and quickly as possible.

  We saw no one on the way out of the castle, in the stables, or along the path leading to the castle gates. It gave me hope that the rest of the morning would go just as smoothly.

  We took two horses to the clearing. Brachan had his own, and I rode with Maddock on Stella. The ride was somber, as each of us seemed to be in our own worlds of worry.

  It was a sunny day and warmer than any I’d experienced since arriving. Surely, that had to be a good omen.

  Maddock knew the exact location of the place Machara had mentioned. He wasn’t surprised that it was the place where Machara’s father lived. He’d always thought it had a different feel to it—that I would be able to see what he meant when we arrived.

  It didn’t take us long to reach the hill before the clearing. No place on the Isle was very difficult to get to.

  Midway up the hill, he dismounted and tied our horses so we could make the rest of the journey on foot.

  “We need to prepare here, lass. There is no way to know how quickly after entering the clearing he will choose to appear.”

  “How do you mean?”

  As far as I could tell, this entire thing was just going to require a whole lot of luck and wit. Words were important with faeries—I would have to watch every word that came out of my mouth.

  Maddock and I walked hand-in-hand, with Brachan on the other side of me. He reached out to gently touch my shoulder so I would stop.

  “There is a reason why there are so many stories of mortals falling for members of the fae, lass. The fae doona know how to relate to all that mortals feel, so they rely on their ability to manipulate yer baser instincts.”

  Maddock released my hand to step in front of me so that I was looking at both of them.

  “He’s right, lass. ’Tis possible he will try to take ye as his own. Ye will have to resist him.”

  Faerie charm was the last thing I was worried about. “Guys, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Your grandfather has to be like a thousand years old, right? I’m not going to be wooed by any faerie.”

&nbs
p; Maddock completely ignored me as he turned to look at Brachan. “Do ye have the ability to sway her, lad?”

  He nodded. “Aye, but ye willna like it.”

  “Do it. She needs to see how overwhelming the sensation can be. Just a little, lad. Doona truly touch her.”

  I stood as still as I could as I watched Brachan saunter toward me. He stopped when our chests were nearly touching and gently leaned down to whisper in my ear.

  “Do ye want me, lass?”

  I snickered at the feeling of having his lips so close to my ear. “I am quite fond of you, Brachan, but no, I don’t.”

  A warm stream of air suddenly swept over my ear, and the need that shot through me was crippling. I could feel my legs begin to shake, and it shocked me to realize that what I wanted more than anything was for Brachan to reach out and pull me toward him.

  “What about now, lass?”

  “Okay, okay.” I held my hand up and stepped away from him. “I get it. Please stop.”

  As quickly as the sensation had come, it was gone.

  “God, that’s creepy.”

  “If a true fae decides to woo ye, lass, ’twould be ten times worse.”

  I regretted my earlier statement. I wasn’t sure I would be able to resist any sensation that was much stronger than what Brachan had just caused me to feel.

  “Why would he want to do that?”

  “To idle yer mind so that whatever bargain ye strike with him holds no real benefit to ye.”

  I’d been frightened the moment this foolish idea popped into my mind, but now I was truly terrified. “Is there not anything I can do to resist that? To keep my mind clear?”

  Maddock reached for me and pulled me into his arms. “Ye must find that place inside ye that benefited ye for so long. Seek the distraction, seek that place that keeps ye from feeling. Keep yer mind busy so he canna find his way in.”

  Surely, I could do that. I’d only been letting feelings in for a few days now. That coping mechanism couldn’t be all that far away.

  Brachan reached out to touch my back, and with Maddock’s arms still around me, I twisted to look at him.