Love Beyond Wanting

by Bethany Claire

  “’Tis time, lass. The other men are most assuredly already out looking for us. We must enter the land of the fae before they arrive. I will give the two of ye a moment. I’ll wait for ye at the top of the hill.”

  Maddock said nothing until Brachan was a good distance away. When he did speak, his voice broke. “Kate, lass. I’m trying to stay strong, but I doona want ye to do this. Too many things could go wrong. I willna be able to bear it if ye doona come back to me.”

  I kissed his cheek and cupped his face with my palm.

  “I have to do this. This is my part in all of this. I have no doubt of that. I want Brachan to be free of her, and one day, I want you to be free, as well. You’ll never be if I don’t play my part.”

  “I want to marry ye, lass.” He said it so casually, I almost missed it.

  “You what?”

  “I want to marry ye. The moment ye return, I want us to leave here and get married. To run away together, just ye and me. What do ye say, lass?”

  Eloping had always been my dream. But there was no way he could’ve possibly known that. “I say yes. As soon as I’m back, I will marry you.”

  “Then I shall wait, lass. Please doona let them keep ye there for years.”

  “Years?” Just the thought filled me with terror. “I don’t plan to stay there for lunch, Maddock. I will not be there for years.”

  “’Tis what faeries do, lass. Doona be surprised if time is part of the bargain he tries to strike with ye.”

  I nodded, but my mind was now elsewhere. I needed Maddock’s word that he wouldn’t come in after me.

  “I need you to make me a promise, Maddock. You have to promise me that you won’t go in after me, no matter what. We have no way of knowing what Machara’s father will do, and we can’t risk one of The Eight ending up dead. There’s only seven of you living. If another one of you dies, Machara breaks free. Do you understand? You have to promise.”

  He nodded and closed his eyes sadly as he gave his word. “I promise, lass. Now, kiss me and go before I decide I doona have the strength for this and pull ye away from here. Right now, I doona think I am above leaving Brachan to deal with this on his own.”

  “That’s not an option. But I will kiss you. I’ll kiss you now. I’ll kiss you when I return. And I’ll kiss you every day after. Everything is going to be fine, Maddock. I just know it.”

  I hoped it wasn’t a lie. Something deep inside suspected it might be.

  Chapter 42

  What had he done? Why had he promised her that he wouldn’t follow after her? It was all he wanted to do.

  The worry over her would surely kill him. And if anything happened to her—well, he couldn’t bear to think of it.

  The rest of the men would be here soon enough, and who knew what would happen then. It was possible that they wouldn’t let his betrayal stand. While they couldn’t sever his bond to The Eight now, as soon as they found a man to replace Calder, they could.

  He didn’t care.

  He’d seen in Kate’s eyes that there’d be no dissuading her from this plan, and he’d rather help however he could than leave her to face such evil alone.

  “Where have they gone? Ye have no time. Ye must go now.”

  Maddock jumped at the voice and quickly turned to see Paton step from the brush behind him.

  “Are ye alone?”

  “Aye. Though not for long. The others are on their way. I saw ye leave, and I heard the others discover ye were gone. I followed ye so I could warn ye that yer out of time. Ye must try and get to the land of the fae before the others arrive.”

  Paton’s words surprised him. He’d been one of the first to question Kate’s faith in Brachan.

  “Are ye saying that ye came to help? Ye doona mean to try and stop us?”

  “Aye. I knew the moment Kate told us of her plan that it dinna matter what we said to her. She meant to do it anyway. The more I thought on it, the more sense it made. But where are she and Brachan now?”

  He pointed up the hill as he listened to his heart beat heavy in his throat.

  “They’ve gone, Paton. They’ve gone to seek entry to the land of the fae.”

  “Then what the hell are ye doing here, Maddock? Why dinna ye go with them? She’s no powers. She will be defenseless against any fae.”

  “I promised her that I wouldna go.”

  “Ye what?”

  “She needs to do this alone, Paton. ’Tis her battle to fight and hers alone.”

  There was a sudden flash of light and the air around them seemed to turn as a translucent veil appeared at the top of the hill.

  Maddock watched with horrified eyes as Paton took off at a sprint toward the opening to the land of the fae.

  “I promised her nothing, and the lass’ mother already hates me. If we let her die, I’ll be unable to show my face at the castle ever again.”

  “Wait.” He tried to catch him, but Paton had always been fast. “Ye doona understand. Paton, none of The Eight can go through. If we die…”

  It was too late, Paton threw himself through the veil and vanished before Maddock could finish.

  Maddock dropped to his knees in despair. If Machara’s father killed Paton, Machara would be free. And every last one of them would be dead.

  *

  I knew this clearing. It had been what I’d dreamed of so many nights ago in Laurel’s apartment. And the man beside me, whose face had been blurry before, was now clear. I’d dreamed all of this. And now it was coming true.

  We walked carefully into the clearing, for even the flowers seemed to be watching us. Machara’s father knew we were here. I could sense it. With every step we took, the land around us was changing. In the distance, a throne appeared—the same one from my dreams, but this time, it wasn’t empty.

  While undoubtedly ancient, the man didn’t look it. If I didn’t know that he’d existed for, if not centuries, millennia, I’d have thought him not much older than Brachan. While his basic features were humanlike, he bore even less resemblance to humans than Machara. I found him terrifying to look at, and I had to strain every muscle in my legs to keep them from trembling.

  “The lass may come forward. My grandson will not take another step. I’ll not speak to him, nor do I wish to look upon him. He is an abomination, a creature who should not exist.”

  I glanced at Brachan uncomfortably, but he didn’t seem wounded by the old faerie’s words.

  He winked at me, and something in the gesture gave me strength.

  Slowly, I stepped forward.

  It was time for me to see if I was worthy enough to play a part in Machara’s demise.

  Chapter 43

  “Ye are frightened, lass. Ye needn’t be.”

  I took each step toward the faerie slowly, as I hoped the long trek would give me enough time to read his face.

  He stood as I neared the throne, and I swallowed hard as he billowed up at least eight feet when fully straight.

  “I doona speak in jest, lass. Ye can breathe and let go of yer worry. I’ll not harm ye. Nor will I harm Brachan.”

  For the first time since seeing him, I spoke. “I’m not worried about you harming me. Why would you harm one of the women meant to destroy your daughter? I’m worried about you harming Brachan.”

  He stepped down from his throne and walked toward me, offering me his hand to help me up the steps.

  Reluctantly, I took it. The flesh of his fingers was smooth and wet, like that of a dolphin. It unsettled me, but then again, everything about him was unsettling.

  “Precisely, lass. I’ll bring no harm to Brachan. Even if I may want those of my blood dead, I canna bring myself to end their lives myself. I simply create a way for someone else to end them for me.”

  “Why? It’s still your hand in it—that is no different than doing it yourself.”

  He shrugged and released my hand as he resumed his place on his throne. “Mayhap so, but it allows my conscience to be free.”

  “I didn’t know you
all had one of those.”

  He bit his lower lip and anger flashed in his eyes. “There is much ye doona know, lass. Much ye never will. Come. Sit down.” A stool appeared beside him out of nowhere. Hesitantly, I moved toward it. “Tell me why ye have come.”

  “Why do you want your daughter dead? What did she do to make you hate her so much?”

  “She betrayed me. She betrayed her family. For centuries, the fae lived on this Isle unknown to mortals. Machara was the first to open the veil between yer land and ours. Her choice has only brought pain and destruction to both our species. Now.” His long fingers wrapped around the arms of his chair, and his knuckles grew white as he squeezed it. He was quickly losing his patience with me. “Enough of Machara. Why are ye here?”

  “You want Machara dead, and I’m one of the women that can help make that happen, but there’s a problem I don’t think I can fix without you.”

  “Brachan.” He said it as a matter of fact, not a question.

  “Yes. Machara is bending him to her will, and he is unable to resist it. As long as fae blood runs within him, I stand no chance of surviving a fortnight.”

  “Why not just kill him, lass? ’Twould be the simplest solution.”

  I decided to give him the one reason I hoped would appeal to his desires more than any other. “Machara won’t care if he’s dead. It would pain her so much more to know that the son she’d created was no longer hers to toy with. To see that she had no power over him, and he was his own man in every way.”

  The faerie smiled so wide I could see that his back teeth were just a series of points. It caused me to visibly shiver.

  “I doona eat humans, lass, nor do I tup them. The propensity that some fae have for humans is one I’ve never shared.”

  I didn’t even know how to respond to that. I decided to ignore the statement altogether. “Will you help me?”

  “Aye, though surely ye must know faeries do nothing without a bargain. What do ye offer me in return?”

  “What is it that you want?”

  He smiled again and stood to pace back and forth in front of me as he thought. “There is nothing ye have that I want, lass. Ye are mortal. Ye are worthless. But mayhap, at another time, ye would be useful.”

  Something on the edges of my brain was getting fuzzy. It wasn’t the erotic brain-drain that Brachan made me feel. It was something else, just a general sense of lackluster, something that made it difficult for me to care. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m not harming ye, lass. I already told ye I’d not do that.”

  Apathy was overtaking me. I should’ve felt hyper-alert, worried for Brachan, for myself, for whatever deal this man intended to force me to make, but all I felt was disinterest.

  “You may not be causing me physical harm, but you’re not playing fair.”

  He laughed and stopped in front of me, leaning so close I could feel his breath. Its odor was sweet and sickly. “I never said anything about being fair, lass. Now, let us continue. Ye have nothing I need now, but that doesna mean I am unwilling to bargain with ye. Take my hand. I will free ye from here, and I will see Brachan turned into the human he so desperately wishes to be. All I ask in return is that ye owe me a favor. At a time of my choosing, I may ask for yer help, and ye must agree to give it.”

  Some small part of my brain resisted it. I knew this was the worst promise I could ever make with a fae, but the right emotions just wouldn’t come forward. I tried to do what Maddock suggested. I tried to shut down and distract my brain, but it was too late. He’d slipped in without me noticing and had forced his powers on me so quickly, I never had a chance.

  He reached for my hand, and I didn’t pull away, but just as his fingers began to brush against my own, a voice bellowed from the bottom of the throne.

  “No, Kate! Doona do it.”

  The fae jerked back as if he’d been run through with something, and the expression of shock on his face was unmistakable. My apathy vanished in an instant—the fae’s surprise was enough to cause him to break his hold over my mind. Jumping from my seat, I looked down to see Paton approaching Machara’s father with fury in his eyes.

  “She’ll be making no bargain with ye. ’Tis cowardly of ye to bargain with someone who has no control over their mind. Bargain with someone immune to yer powers.”

  “How were ye here without me knowing it?” The fae was shaken. He was unable to hide it.

  “We’ve magic, ye big, ugly arse. Unlike true mortals that ye can bend to yer will any time ye please, ye can only tamper with our minds if we’ve given ye our blood and I shall never give ye mine.” Paton paused and glanced over at me. “Leave here, Kate. If there is a bargain to be made, I shall make it.”

  “No.” It had to be me. Of this I was certain. If Paton stepped in, then my part in Machara’s demise wouldn’t be complete. “It has to be me, Paton. Otherwise, Machara can never be beaten.”

  He nodded, and I saw the reluctant acceptance settle in his gaze. “If ye insist, come and hold my hand so I may protect ye with my own magic. At least he willna be able to weaken yer mind as ye bargain with him.”

  I ran toward Paton, quickly taking his hand as the fae watched us with interest.

  When my hand was safely wrapped up in Paton’s, the fae spoke once more. “Fine. Let us bargain this way. It willna matter. Make me an offer, lass.”

  I couldn’t offer him a favor. The one thing I could offer him was the one thing that would hurt me the most. The one thing that would break Maddock’s heart.

  “What if I offer you time? Make Brachan human. Swear to me that you won’t harm me, nor age me, and you may keep me here for exactly three human years. Then you shall return me to the land of mortals, and you will never bother me again.”

  The fae smiled. I could see that my offer pleased him. He hated humans. He wouldn’t accept because he wanted me there, but he would accept if he thought it might cause other humans pain.

  “’Twill feel like a hundred years to ye, lass.”

  I nodded, my heart breaking as I resigned myself to my destiny.

  Paton turned toward me and gripped my shoulder hard with his free hand.

  “What are ye doing, lass? No mortal can survive spending so long in this realm. He doesna have to harm ye for it to destroy ye. Ye would never be the same once he released ye from here.”

  Tears began to run down my face, but I knew there was no turning back now.

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s the only way, and someday you guys have to be free.” I paused and turned toward my soon-to-be captor. “What do you say?”

  “If ye offer me yer hand, I will accept.”

  I waited and turned toward Paton one more time. “Tell Laurel I’m sorry, Paton. Tell my mom I love her. And tell Maddock I love him most of all. Tell him if he doesn’t want to wait, I understand. Tell him that I’ll do everything I can to hold onto myself while I’m here. And Paton, please take care of Crink. He…” I let out a sob as I collapsed into Paton’s chest. “He won’t understand.”

  Paton lifted me away from him, and with one of his hands still holding mine, he lifted his free hand and held up two fingers.

  “I’m sorry for this, lass, but Maddock and yer mother would never forgive me if I dinna do it.”

  He slammed his fingertips hard into my chest, and I froze. I couldn’t move, couldn’t blink, couldn’t do anything but watch on in horror as Paton turned to face the fae.

  “I offer ye the same bargain. Make Brachan human, release him and Kate into the land of mortals immediately, unharmed, and the same age they are now, and ye may take me for the length of three human years. She willna benefit ye, but if I’m here, ye might study the power within me.” He held out his hand, and the fae stepped forward. “Ye must decide now.”

  The moment Machara’s father latched onto Paton’s hand, my vision went black.

  Chapter 44

  I woke on the top of the hill, propped up in Nicol’s arms. I could hear chanting to my left, and as
I blinked myself awake, I turned to see what was happening.

  “Doona worry, lass. Ye are safe.”

  “What are they doing? What’s wrong? Where’s Brachan?” I suddenly remembered Paton and broke down into tears. “Paton…he’s…he…”

  Nicol’s arms were wrapped around me, and he gently rocked me as he spoke into my hair. “Shh, lass. We know. We know where Paton is. He did the only thing any of us could do.”

  “Is the…did his bond break with The Eight?”

  Nicol nodded. “Aye, but Machara is not free. Brachan is human now, but by some miracle, his powers remain. The men are initiating him into The Eight now. We’ve still seven men.”

  *

  Maddock was quiet on the way back to the castle, and his thoughts were very far away.

  I knew what he was thinking, and I hated it.

  “Thank you, Maddock.”

  He sighed and kept his eyes ahead as he spoke. “For what, lass? For allowing my friend to sacrifice three years of his life for ye when I should’ve been the one to step inside and make such a bargain?”

  “You allowed nothing. You have no more control over Paton’s actions than you do over mine. All you did was keep your word, and it means the world to me.”

  Maddock let out a strained sob, and he pulled me toward him even more tightly.

  “I shall never be able to repay him. He has given ye back to me, and he has given Brachan a new life, as well.”

  “He’ll be okay, won’t he?”

  Maddock hesitated, but his tone was confident in his answer. “Aye. His magic will protect him. Better him stuck there than ye.”

  “I failed, Maddock.” I whispered the words. “Paton saved Brachan, not me. We’re no closer to defeating Machara than we were before. It seems I was wrong—I’m not one of the nine women meant to defeat her.”

  “I wouldna be so sure about that, lass. The moment ye and Brachan appeared at the top of the hill, ye lying there unconscious and Brachan fully human, the entire Isle shook from her screaming. She knows she was defeated once again. I believe ye’ve completed yer duty.”