I Just Need You

by J. Nathan

  His eyes pinched tightly. “I should’ve been walking with you. I was giving you your space when all I really wanted to do was be in it.”

  I said nothing, knowing I had a lot to do with the reason he was keeping his distance.

  “Listen, I’ve gotta go explain why there’s a dead body in those woods.” He gave me a reassuring nod as he released me and stepped back. “Lock yourself in there with Doris. I won’t be long.” He turned to walk away.

  “Tristan?” I called.

  He stopped and looked back. “We’ll talk when I’m done, okay?”

  I nodded and then he was gone.

  I spent the next thirty minutes assuring Doris no one would be back to the shelter to hurt her. I hoped. Then, two detectives came in and questioned us. Doris said she hadn’t seen anything, and I told them everything I knew, which wasn’t much since most of the time I was running for my life.

  Eventually, they left and Tristan returned. I said goodbye to Doris and stepped outside to join him. The remaining police cars drove by, kicking up clouds of dust as they drove down the dirt road and away from the shelter.

  “Everything all set?” I asked Tristan.

  He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest, holding me tight like he had before. “God, I hope so.”

  Being in his arms brought back so many emotions…so many thoughts of our night together. How strong he was. How safe I felt with him near me. But what was really going on? Had this intense situation made him realize that I hadn’t been a mistake? Or, had it made him think irrationally and he’d go back to being the cold Tristan tomorrow?

  He walked me to the passenger door of the car and helped me in. Before I could turn, he stood between my knees in the open door, just looking at me.

  “What?”

  “I lied,” he said.

  My brows shot up. “About what?”

  “Nothing that happened between us was a mistake.”

  All the tension I felt from the past week released from my body.

  “I’ve never had feelings for a client before,” he continued. “There are rules in place for a reason.”

  I nodded, understanding that being in a relationship with me could cause him to be distracted.

  Fear clouded his eyes. “What if I’d missed today and he got to you? What if I didn’t see him and he took you away? What if—”

  I stroked his cheek. “You didn’t miss. And you did see him. I’m okay because of you, Tristan. You protected me.” I tilted my head, taking in his worried eyes. “You saved me.”

  He closed his eyes, the truth showing his vulnerability and affecting him in a way I’d never seen before.

  “You were wrong when you told me you weren’t a superhero,” I said as his eyes reopened. “Because right now I feel like you’re my very own.”

  He opened his mouth to respond—probably to tell me I was wrong—but I cut him off.

  “Please get in the car,” I said. “And take me back to the dorm where you can protect me some more.”

  He shot me a sad smile and nodded. I shifted my legs into the car and he closed the door. I watched him round the car before he slipped into the driver’s seat and linked his hand with mine. It was as if he needed the contact and needed to be sure I was okay. He started the engine and pulled out onto the dirt road.

  I noticed Briggs in the car behind us following us away from the shelter.

  “Tristan?”

  He glanced to me.

  “Are you okay?”

  He looked back to the road. “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “I’d understand if you weren’t. You just killed someone.”

  “Someone who would’ve hurt you.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  He shook his head. “I promise. I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing he can’t hurt you now.”

  I understood his rationale. That man wasn’t a good man. He was someone paid to get to me. Someone who willingly took money to get to me. Would he have kidnapped me? Shot me in the leg so I was easier to carry off the property? Raped me then taken me? Tristan rid the world of a despicable human being. “Do you think he was working alone?”

  “There’s no sign that anyone else was with him. But where there’s one, there are others. Especially, when money’s exchanged.” His lips twisted regrettably. “He didn’t have ID on him. We’ll know more once they run his fingerprints.”

  “The Frenchman told me it wasn’t over,” I said, my words a mere whisper.

  Tristan squeezed my hand. “That doesn’t mean he’d risk coming all the way here to get you.”

  “He’d just hire someone else who would.”

  He said nothing, knowing I was right.

  “Why won’t he just give up? Why won’t he just go after someone else?” I gasped. “That sounded awful. I should have never said that.”

  He brushed his thumb over the back of my hand, likely feeling me tensing up. “I know what you meant. I know you don’t want anyone else going through what you’ve gone through.”

  I nodded, hating that I’d verbalized what I was feeling in that moment.

  “We don’t know this guy was connected to the Frenchman,” he explained. “And if he was, maybe after this second failed attempt, he’ll stop. But I can tell you one thing. Until we know for sure, we’re not getting lax when it’s your life we’re dealing with.”

  I pulled in a deep breath. I still couldn’t believe this was my life. It was amazing I was still holding it together. Was it just a matter of time before I broke down? Was it just a matter of time before I needed heavy meds to sleep? Was it just a matter of time before they got me?

  “Stop whatever it is you’re thinking right now.”

  I looked to Tristan who leveled me with serious eyes.

  “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

  I hoped to God he was right.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Tristan

  When we returned to the dorm, Briggs escorted Kresley up to her room while I parked the car. I didn’t want to leave her side, but I wasn’t gonna lie. I needed a minute alone to wrap my head around what happened back there.

  I just killed someone. And while I knew the guy was a monster, I prayed it wouldn’t haunt me. I had enough haunting me.

  But what was the alternative?

  If I didn’t kill him, he would’ve taken Kresley. And that would have broken me.

  I pulled into a parking spot, switched off the engine, and dropped my head to the steering wheel. Was I more upset at myself for missing the signs outside the shelter? Or that I almost lost Kresley? I knew the truth. I knew I couldn’t have lived with myself if anything happened to her. As much as I fought us happening, we had happened. And calling it a mistake had been the biggest lie I’d ever told.

  I slammed my hands on the steering wheel, hating that I’d need to face Marco and Kresley’s parents. Sure, I killed the threat. But it didn’t mean I hadn’t left Kresley in danger because I needed to prove that I didn’t have feelings for her. That had been my biggest mistake.

  I pulled my shit together and stepped out of the car.

  Someone shoved my chest, slamming me against the car door and holding me there. I reached for my gun, freezing when I saw it was Marco glaring at me.

  “Explain,” he growled.

  “Let go of me,” I ordered.

  He released me, but his eyes never left mine.

  “There’s nothing to explain. Somehow, the fucker bypassed the security we had in place. I saw him running through the woods toward her. I alerted her. Then shot him in the back.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You shot him in the back? Why weren’t you right next to her?”

  “She didn’t want me with her, so I was giving her some space.”

  “I don’t give a fuck what she wants. We do what’s best for her.”

  I clenched my teeth. I didn’t need him telling me I should’ve been doing what’s best for her. I already fucking knew.

&nb
sp; “I should’ve been there,” Marco said, seemingly pissed at not only me but at himself.

  “You never go to the shelter with us. Besides, this would’ve happened either way since he somehow bypassed our cameras.”

  He ran his hands through his hair, looking as tired and angry as he probably felt.

  “Go be with your wife. Briggs is here. And I promised I wouldn’t leave Kresley’s side tonight.”

  “What’s that mean?” he snapped.

  “You know what that means.”

  “For someone who didn’t want to take this job, you’re fucking acting like it’s something more.”

  “I care about her, Marco. I won’t let anything happen to her.”

  “Like today?” he asked, really testing my patience.

  “Fuck you.” I was no employee. I was his fucking partner.

  Indecision played across his tired eyes.

  “Go be with your wife,” I repeated. “The guys are following leads back at the office, and she’s got two of us here.”

  “I need to see her,” Marco said, fatherly concern coloring his tone.

  I sighed. “Yeah, of course.”

  We arrived at the dorm to find Briggs in a chair outside Kresley’s room. He stood when he saw Marco and me approaching.

  “How’s your wife?” Briggs asked, giving Marco a half-hug pat on the back.

  “She and the baby are good. Shouldn’t be long now before she delivers the doc says,” Marco explained. He nodded toward Kresley’s door. “I need a minute.” He tapped on Kresley’s door. “It’s Marco.”

  Her door opened.

  “You okay, ma’am?” he asked her.

  She laughed, but it cracked as tears threatened to fall. “Yes.”

  He walked her into her room and closed the door behind them. Though the rumble of his deep voice carried through the door, he kept his voice low enough that I couldn’t hear what he was saying. Was he asking her about us? Was he asking her if I failed her?

  I left Briggs in the hall and went to shower, needing to wash off the blood that was still caked under my fingernails from tying him up. I wondered if Kresley had noticed it while she held my hand in the car.

  I returned to my room a short time later, slipped into some basketball shorts and a T-shirt, and strapped my gun underneath. I left my room just as Marco stepped out of Kresley’s room. I found it difficult to look him in the eyes, not knowing what Kresley had told him.

  “Walk me out,” he said, without even bothering to look at me.

  I glanced to Briggs who sat back in the chair keeping guard.

  “You need to be careful,” Marco said as we made our way down the stairs.

  “What’s that mean?”

  “This isn’t over.”

  Those words hit me like a punch to the gut. “How can you be sure?”

  “No one likes to fail twice,” Marco said. “We need both of you on her at all times.”

  “Agreed.”

  “She told me she wants you in her room and Briggs outside.” He pushed open the front door. I stopped. He turned to face me. “Don’t let anything happen to her.”

  “I won’t.”

  He stared at me for a long time, and I wondered what the hell she said to him. Then he nodded and walked away. “I’ll be in touch,” he called over his shoulder.

  “Take care of your wife.”

  He raised his fist into the air.

  I hurried back inside, taking two stairs at a time, desperate to check on Kresley. “She told Marco she wants you out here and me inside,” I told Briggs.

  He lifted his brows. “I bet she does.”

  I cocked my head, pegging him with serious eyes.

  “Poor taste?” he asked.

  “I’d say.”

  He stood from the chair and pulled it to the side. “You did good out there today.”

  “Just doing my job.” I knocked on Kresley’s door. “It’s Tristan.”

  The door opened and Kresley stood there in her pajamas, her hair down and falling over her shoulders, and her eyes still red from crying. She’d never looked more beautiful. She stepped back and I followed her in, closing the door and locking it. She turned to me and walked right into my arms, burying her head beneath my chin as I held her to me. She felt so small. So fragile. So…mine.

  “You okay?” I asked, breathing in the fruity scent of her hair, such a welcome scent after such a horrific day.

  “I am now.”

  “Come on. I wanna hold you,” I said.

  She slipped her hand into mine and walked me to her bed.

  “Hold on.” I released her hand and moved to the corner of the room. I reached up and pointed the camera toward the ceiling. Then, I grabbed the desk chair and forced the back of it under the doorknob for added security. I switched on the small lights hanging around the walls before switching off the main light.

  We both climbed under the covers. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest. We lay there for a long time, just breathing each other in. I wondered what ran through her mind. And though I didn’t want to push her, I didn’t want her to feel alone. “You wanna talk about it?” I asked.

  “Yeah.”

  I held my breath, preparing myself for whatever came out of her mouth.

  “I wanna know if you’re really okay,” she said.

  “I wanna know if you’re really okay.”

  She lifted her head so she could look me in the eyes. “I asked you first.”

  I was the bodyguard. I didn’t need her worrying about me. “I’m fine.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief and my heart clenched. She really did worry about me. “I talked to my parents while you were with Marco,” she said. “They want me to come home.”

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  “That’s a fair answer.”

  “Yeah?” she asked, surprised by my response.

  “You’ve just been through another traumatic experience. You’re away from home. Away from your parents. It’s normal to be unsure.”

  “Would you still be on my security team if I go home?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. That would depend on what you being home would entail. Your parents have their own security.”

  She closed her eyes and nodded.

  “What?” I asked, not wanting her to make the wrong decision because of me.

  “I don’t want those people to dictate what I do. I want my degree. And I’m so close. But I also don’t want my parents to worry. And, I don’t want to constantly be looking over my shoulder knowing at any time what happened today could happen again, and I might be alone.”

  I lifted my hand to her cheek, brushing strands of hair away from her face. “You will never be alone again.”

  “I don’t know if that’s reassuring or creepy.”

  Our quiet laughter was the only sound in her silent room.

  “I wish I could tell you what to do, but it’s your decision to make. If you go home, you’ll be more contained. Here, you’re out in the open, whether we secure areas or not.”

  “Are you trying to make me go home?” she asked.

  “I just want you to do what makes you feel safest.”

  “I feel safest when I’m with you.”

  I closed my eyes. How could she say that after I almost let him get to her? The events of the day weighed heavy on my mind. Seeing the guy running into the woods. The gunshot. Seeing Kresley go down. Her trembling body when I pulled her up.

  “Stop whatever you’re thinking right now,” she said.

  I opened my eyes and stared into her pretty blue ones. “That’s my line.”

  She grinned. “I like your lines.”

  I brushed my thumb over her cheek, so soft and delicate—so Kresley even when she was being tough.

  “As long as they’re not lines meant to push me away,” she amended.

  I found it difficult to hold her gaze, but I forced myself to. Forced myself
to be honest with her. “I want to see what this is,” I admitted, knowing I never should have let it get this far. But it had. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it now. I was in too deep. We both were. “I was wrong to push you away. That was about me and not you.”

  Her heartbeat accelerated, and I could feel it against my chest.

  “That makes you happy?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  “You might find that you don’t even like me once you get to know me better,” I said.

  “I know you.”

  I scoffed.

  “Well, since we’re being honest—”

  “Uh oh,” I said. “Should I be scared?”

  She nodded. “That girl at the bar…?”

  “Was just some girl who planted her ass next to me. I was there to watch you.”

  “It was your night off.”

  I rolled my eyes. “There’s no night off when it’s your safety. And full disclosure. I wanted to hurt any guy who got near you.”

  “Like Chris?”

  “Fucking Chris needs to stay away from my girl.”

  Her eyes widened and I loved that my words affected her like that.

  A brief silence passed between us and I could see her wheels at work. “Will you tell me what makes you cry out in your sleep?”

  Fuuuuck.

  I knew my dreams would come up, and I really wanted to come clean to her. But I didn’t feel comfortable laying it all on the table when she’d just been through hell. This night was about making her feel better. Making her feel safe. Not about me and my fucked up dream. “I must’ve been having a nightmare,” I said, hoping that would be enough of an answer to appease her for the time being.

  “That didn’t sound like a one-time nightmare. That sounded like something that happens often. Something that you were remembering.”

  Dammit.

  I looked away from her expectant eyes. She’d had a shit day and still wanted to know about my demons. But I knew tonight wasn’t the time to unload all my baggage on her.

  “You don’t have to tell me,” she finally said. “But know I’m here when you’re ready.”

  I met her gaze. “Tomorrow.” I tightened my arms around her. “I just really need to kiss you right now.”

  Her lips curved up in the corners. “And I just really need you to.”