I Just Need You

by J. Nathan

  I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. They were minty and soft, and I knew we both needed to get lost in this kiss until everything else disappeared into a distant memory. This kiss wasn’t meant to lead to sex. That was the furthest thing from my mind tonight. We both needed to feel safe. To feel like we were home. And having Kresley in my arms was definitely beginning to feel like home for me. The only home I’ve had in a long fucking time.

  I pulled away first. “You know this goes against everything I teach new recruits.”

  “Kissing the client?”

  “Falling for the client,” I admitted.

  I watched her swallow down hard and realized that she hadn’t seen that coming.

  “I plan everything,” I explained. “I think things through. I consider multiple outcomes to every situation in order to do my job well. But you. You walked into my life and made those things impossible.”

  “Are you looking for an apology?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “I just want you to know the truth. I know you like when I’m honest with you.”

  “Will you be able to protect me if we…”

  “Take this further?” I asked.

  She nodded.

  I dragged my teeth over my bottom lip, searching for the right answer—the honest answer. “I’d like to say yes. I’d like to tell you being important to me makes me protect you better. But honestly? I’m not sure.”

  “Because I’m a distraction?”

  “You deserve my undivided attention when we’re together. But, to protect you, your surroundings are what require my undivided attention. So, I’m not sure how to do both.”

  The disappointment in her eyes nearly leveled me. I wasn’t trying to hurt her. But everything out of my mouth just kept doing that. “So, what does that mean?” she asked.

  “It means we need to figure out how I can do both.”

  A small smile tipped her lips.

  And knowing she could still smile, after everything she’d just been through, told me she was it for me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Kresley

  I woke up the next morning to Tristan’s arms wrapped around me and soft kisses to the back of my shoulder. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the fact that Tristan wasn’t bolting out of my room this time. Instead, he was showing me how he felt about being with me.

  “I know you’re awake,” he said, his voice all raspy and sexy.

  “I didn’t want you to stop what you were doing.”

  He didn’t, only moving his lips to the nape of my neck and kissing me there.

  “I could get used to waking up like this,” I said.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “I’m okay. I slept.”

  “You were up a lot,” he countered.

  “But as soon as I felt your arms, I knew I was safe and fell back to sleep.”

  He tightened his arms around me, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world.

  “Did you sleep?” I asked.

  “I don’t sleep much,” he admitted.

  “By choice?”

  His lips stopped moving. “Not really.”

  “The nightmare?” I said.

  “We’re going right for the deep stuff, huh?” he said.

  “I want to know you, Tristan. Not just what you decide I get to know. What I deserve to know because I care about you. I know it’s why you tried to push me away before. I don’t care that you have nightmares. That doesn’t make you weak. I just want to know what I can do to help you.”

  He remained quiet, and I wondered if I’d pushed him too far.

  I spun around in his arms and looked him in his eyes. They were so tired, and I knew he hadn’t slept at all. “Did you hear me, Tristan? I want to help you because I care about you.”

  “I heard you.”

  “So?”

  “I care about you too,” he said.

  I smiled, and despite the previous day, it felt good to smile at him. “I wasn’t looking for affirmation.” I lifted a hand and cupped his cheek, the day-old stubble bristly beneath my hand. “I was looking for you to tell me the truth about your dreams.”

  “You’re not gonna let this go, huh?”

  I shook my head.

  He avoided my eyes, and I could sense he was weighing his options. Tell me and he’d be vulnerable. Don’t tell me and I’d be hurt. “I grew up rich.”

  My mouth parted, but I closed it quickly because I wanted him to keep talking.

  “My parents owned a tech company that made a necessary part for the bigger companies.”

  I stayed quiet, needing to hear where his story was going.

  “We lived in a gated community. You’d think security would be tight, but not that day.” A far-off look clouded his eyes, as if seeing the day play out in his mind’s eye. “I was nine and some men broke into our house. They must’ve thought my parents were at this big tech convention since all the big wigs were in town for it. But my mom had been feeling sick that day. I remember her asking my dad if she could stay home. He hated to go anywhere without her, so he said he’d stay home too. She didn’t want that, but he insisted, saying he hated all those tech geeks.” A soft chuckle slipped past Tristan’s lips. “She responded by telling him he was the biggest tech geek out there.”

  I forced a smile that didn’t reach my eyes, fearing what he was about to tell me.

  “The men showed up in broad daylight. We didn’t have the security that’s available today, so they were able to sneak in and grab me while I was playing in the game room. I screamed and tried to fight them, but they were stronger than me. My father came barging in with a gun, and I’d never been more relieved in my entire life. I just knew he was going to save the day like my favorite superheroes. The problem was, he didn’t really know how to use a gun. He tried to fire it, but the safety was still on. The men wasted no time, shooting him dead.”

  A sharp breath caught in my throat.

  “My mom heard the gunfire and ran in. They turned their guns on her and shot her too.”

  “Oh, Tristan.”

  “When the men realized two dead people weren’t going to pay them ransom, they fled the scene. And do you know what I did?” He stared at me, awaiting my reply.

  For once, I didn’t have one.

  “Nothing,” he said. “I did absolutely nothing.”

  “You were nine,” I said, reeling from the heartbreaking story he shared.

  “But I should have done something.”

  “You were nine,” I repeated. “You were in shock.”

  He closed his eyes, pained by the recollection of that day.

  I hoped to God tears didn’t glaze his eyes when they reopened, because all I could see in that moment was Tristan at nine, terrified and alone with his dead parents on the floor in front of him. My stomach clenched, unsure how I would ever look at him the same way again. “I’m so sorry you lost your parents. That is not something anyone should have to endure, especially at nine years old,” I said softly.

  He nodded and his eyes finally opened, devoid of tears.

  “I can’t even begin to imagine your nightmares.”

  “Night-mare. The same one every night. Me frozen to the floor while my parents are murdered.”

  I wrapped my arms around him and held on, tucking my head beneath his chin. I didn’t know if I was doing it for his benefit or if I needed the comfort too. It wasn’t fair he’d lost his parents in such a horrific way. It wasn’t fair he relived that day every time he slept. It wasn’t fair that he felt like he was to blame. It wasn’t fair that he had to endure any of this alone.

  “That’s why you wanted me to learn how to shoot a gun,” I said, realizing he didn’t want what happened to his father to happen to me.

  He nodded.

  A long stretch of silence passed between us. So many thoughts raced through my brain mixed with so much sympathy for nine-year-old Tristan—and twenty-five-year-old Tristan. “Who did you live with aft
er?”

  “My grandfather for a short time. When he realized I wasn’t dealing well with their deaths, he shipped me off to military school.”

  I swallowed, realizing it’s where he likely developed his tough façade. “Did you get counseling?”

  He scoffed. “There’s no such thing as counseling at military school. You don’t show emotions. You don’t talk about emotions. You fall in line or you suffer the consequences.”

  “Tristan. That’s why you have the dream. You’ve never dealt with what happened.”

  “I assure you, I deal with it every fucking time I close my eyes.”

  “I have a counselor back home—”

  “No shrinks.”

  “Then, let me be the one who stops your nightmare.”

  He tightened his arms around me. “I want you to be the one to stop it.”

  His words shouldn’t have been breaking my heart, but they were. He was still that lost little boy, but he was locked in the body of a man.

  “You said I was a superhero. But I never claimed to be one. I screw up. I say stupid things. I think I can handle everything on my own…until I can’t.”

  “You’ve got me now.”

  He nodded.

  “Your parents were the two people shot under your watch.” It wasn’t a question, more like a realization.

  “I’ll never be convinced that I couldn’t have done something.”

  “Is that why you became a bodyguard?” I asked.

  “It’s fucked up, right?”

  I shook my head. “If it’s what you need to do, then I think it’s what you should be doing. And, you’re damn good at it.”

  A long stretch of silence passed between us. I wondered what he was thinking about because my mind was whirling with all he’d told me. It definitely explained a lot about him. His initial anger with me for being what he considered careless. He’d lost the two people he loved most in this world within seconds in their own home. Anything could happen while I was out at a crowded place. It wasn’t like his fears were unfounded. He had reason to worry. “I wanna take you home,” he said, breaking the silence.

  “Where do you live?” I asked.

  I could hear the smile in his words. “Not to my home. To yours. To see your parents.”

  “Oh.”

  He pulled back so he could look at me. “Don’t you want to see them?”

  “Of course. I’m just scared they won’t let me leave.”

  His eyes riveted between mine. “Does that mean you plan on staying here?” he asked.

  “I think it’s my only option.”

  He rolled me onto my back and settled between my legs, his face hovering over mine. “I am so incredibly proud of you.”

  “Why?”

  “Yesterday was a shit show. And you could’ve crawled into a ball and lost it. But, look at you. You bounced back like a champ.”

  I lowered my gaze, embarrassed by his compliment.

  “Kresley, you’re one of the bravest people I know.”

  I looked to him and rolled my eyes. “You work with a slew of meat heads packin’ heat. They’re brave.”

  “Did you really just say packin’ heat?”

  I nodded. “And I called them meat heads.”

  “Yeah, I caught that.”

  I stared into his eyes, scared of all the feelings rushing through me. Though my heart broke for his losses, I knew him now. And I wanted him in so many ways. “Are you going to let me tell my parents about us?”

  His head dropped back. “Fuuuuuck.”

  I laughed, not realizing how much I needed to laugh until it was taking over my entire body.

  Tristan looked back down at me, smiling at my uncontrollable laughter. “What’s so funny?”

  “You.”

  His brows shot up. “Oh, yeah?”

  I nodded. “And good looking.”

  He laughed. “Is that all you like about me?”

  My laughter subsided, and I shook my head. “I like that you make me feel.”

  “Feel what?”

  “Everything.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Tristan

  Kresley’s parents had come to the office to meet and interview Marco and me before they hired us, so I hadn’t been to their home before. But when we pulled up to the elaborate gate and a security guard came out of a security booth, it hit me how freaking rich Kresley was.

  She leaned across me to look out my open window to speak to the guard. “Hey, Murphy!”

  His face lit up. “Hello, Miss Hastings. So good to have you home.”

  “It’s nice to be home. Just so you know, the car behind us is with us.”

  “I’m still going to need to check it,” he said with an apologetic smile.

  She nodded. “Of course.”

  He returned to his booth and opened the gate for us. As I drove through, I glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed Murphy standing in front of the gate so Briggs couldn’t pass until he’d checked him. They weren’t taking any risks on the property when it came to security.

  A stretch of trees concealed Kresley’s house which couldn’t be seen from the security booth. We drove up the winding driveway bordered by impeccable landscaping. “This is…”

  “Obnoxious?” Kresley asked.

  “Safe.”

  She glanced to me. I hoped that sympathy she’d been showing me since I spewed all my shit earlier would soon disappear from her pretty eyes. I didn’t need her pity. I just needed her.

  The driveway soon opened up to a circular brick expanse with a huge fountain in the center. Beyond the fountain was a massive Mediterranean style villa. I took it all in, trying to visualize Kresley growing up there. Did she stubbornly jump in the fountain because she was told not to? Did she weave in and out of the arched walkways while being chased by a nanny?

  Her parents rushed out the front door as soon as I pulled to a stop, hurrying over to Kresley’s door.

  “Here goes nothing,” she said, before pushing open her door and getting out.

  I stepped out but stayed on my side of the car, not really sure what I was supposed to do. I wasn’t exactly her guest.

  Her parents sandwiched her in a hug. It was understandable, given she was their little girl. And, less than twenty-four hours before, she’d almost been attacked.

  “You’re crushing me,” she said.

  They laughed as they released her, stepping back and taking her in, visibly relieved she was standing in front of them in one piece.

  Mr. Hastings noticed me standing there. An intimidating glint flashed in his eyes.

  Oh, fuck.

  He rounded the car and stalked toward me.

  I swallowed my nerves, knowing I wanted to be with Kresley, so I’d take whatever he planned to say or do.

  He reached out his hand. “Thank you for protecting our daughter.”

  I shook his hand. “I swore I’d keep her safe.”

  Kresley’s mom hurried over to me and wrapped her arms around me. I didn’t know what to do with my hands so I kept them at my sides as the scent of expensive perfume wrapped itself around me. I caught sight of Kresley stifling a smile. “Thank you for keeping her safe.”

  “Always,” I said as she finally released me.

  As the Hastings turned and walked toward the front door, I looked to Kresley for a sign of what I should do. Did I wait outside or accompany her inside?

  She held up her finger, asking me for some time before she turned and followed her parents inside.

  Only then could I finally breathe.

  That went better than I expected.

  Kresley

  I followed my parents down the long hallway lined with family portraits toward the kitchen. I’d told Tristan to hang back so I could talk to my parents in private. I wasn’t exactly sure how they were going to take the news that I wasn’t staying home—or that I was in a relationship with my bodyguard.

  Someone was in the sitting room as we passed by.
/>   “Andre!”

  He was standing by the doorway with a big smile on his face.

  I rushed over and threw my arms around him. “How are you?”

  “Welcome home, Miss Kresley,” he said, hugging me back. “I’m fine.”

  I stepped back and looked at him, taking in the many creases around his eyes and his full head of gray hair. He’d aged in the months since I’d seen him last. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m helping watch over the surveillance monitors,” he said with a smile.

  “You’re working here?”

  He nodded, looking pleased that he wasn’t fired after France.

  “I’m so happy to hear that. I miss you.”

  “I miss you too.” He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. “How are you?”

  “You know me, Andre. I’m tougher than I look.”

  He forced a smile, and that twinkle I’d seen in his eyes so many times before returned.

  “I gotta catch up with my parents. But I’ll see you before I leave,” I promised him, before moving to the kitchen and slipping onto a stool at the center island. A sense of security swept over me being back home.

  My mom stood with the refrigerator door open, gathering an armful of food—a nervous habit when she didn’t know what to do or say. My father leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, staring at me like he was seeing a ghost.

  “Dad, I’m fine. Stop staring at me like that.” I looked to my mom. “And, Mom, stop doing whatever you’re doing over there. I’m not hungry. I just want to talk to you guys.”

  She placed the cheeses and fruit she’d gathered onto the counter and turned to look at me. “Why didn’t Stone unpack the car and bring in your belongings?”

  “His name is Tristan, and I’m not coming home,” I said.

  Fear gripped hold of her features. “What?”

  My father sighed. “Returning to school is an unnecessary risk.”

  “We can keep you safe here,” my mother promised. “Security is tighter than it’s ever been.”

  “I can’t stay locked up forever.” I hated that I was hurting them by not agreeing to do what I knew they both wanted me to do.

  “Of course you can,” my mother said. “You’re my baby and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”