The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook: A Defense Manual for the Coming Extraterrestrial Apocalypse
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ESCAPING FROM YOUR ALIEN CAPTORS
Although the circumstances of abductions may be unique, there are some general rules that can be followed.
1. REMAIN CALM AND FOCUSED. It is vital that you don't panic. You have a job to do, and it will take all of your concentration and determination to succeed. Like any strange and new environment, alien spacecrafts hold much to distract you from your primary objective. The novelty of your extraterrestrial surrounding, peculiar sounds and smells, and the unnerving sensation of gangly fingers probing every inch of your body can all divert your attention from your task. Take a deep breath, relax, think — then act.
2. PLAN AN EARLY ESCAPE. Seventy-three percent of all successful escapes occur within the first thirty minutes of captivity. It is during this period that you are still capable of functioning at your peak; the longer you remain under alien control, the more your physical ability and mental resolve to escape will be impaired. So, start planning your escape and watching for opportunities the moment you are captured.
3. BE OBSERVANT. Pay attention to your surroundings. Take note of the route you take within the spacecraft, watching carefully for reference points that will help you retrace your path back out of the ship. Also look for any side corridors, ventilation shafts, or other alternative exit points. Are there any items that could be used to aid your escape or to use as a weapon? Note the location and number of aliens along your route. Even small things, which may initially seem insignificant, could be of vital importance later on.
4. ACT IMMEDIATELY. The saying “he who hesitates is lost” is never truer than when attempting to escape from your alien abductors. When an opportunity to escape presents itself, it is imperative that you act immediately, as you may not get a second chance. Be prepared to adapt your strategy to suit the situation, which may change from moment to moment. Watch and wait. If you notice the aliens are distracted or momentarily let down their guard, you must be prepared to act instantly. Chances to escape have been lost by those waiting for just the right circumstances. There is no time like the present. Do it now.
5. ROCK ON. The very fact that you have been captured and are onboard an alien spacecraft indicates that you were probably without a functional or adequately shielded MP3 player (refer to chapter 2). Any successful escape attempt will hinge on your ability to employ the Audio-Morphic Recall techniques discussed in the previous chapter. Some have likened the difficulty of this level of concentration to reciting Shakespeare's “Cry ‘God for Harry, England, and Saint George!’” speech from Henry V (“Once more unto the breach, dear friends …”) while running in front of a herd of stampeding wildebeests. While it is true to say that this may seem like an impossible task, it is one that must be mastered if you wish to thwart your adversary's intentions. You can gain comfort from the knowledge that other ordinary people from many different cultures and walks of life have successfully used this technique under a diverse range of circumstances to aid their escape.
6. REMEMBER THAT THE MEEK WILL NOT INHERIT THE EARTH. Aliens rely on our total submission. Their whole strategy is based on their ability to subdue us, then — and only then — to exploit us. Compliance with your captors may get you home again, but not undamaged, or unscarred, and with the certain knowledge that you will be abducted again. If you are to oppose your captors, you must do so forcefully and in such a way that they will decide that you are not worth the trouble and will go elsewhere to find more cooperative victims.
History has demonstrated that bravado can be effectively employed to provide a tactical advantage. Berserkers were ancient Norse warriors legendary for working themselves into frenzy before a battle and then fighting with reckless savagery. The mere thought of them was sufficient to send some enemies running for the hills. In the same way, you must demonstrate to your abductors that you will not go quietly, like a lamb to the slaughter.
When faced with a bull in a china shop, the most prudent course of action is to open a door to let it out. In the same sense, when your alien abductors are confronted with a human specimen that cannot be subdued by mind control and is on the rampage within the confines of their spacecraft, they will do whatever it takes to get you out of their ship as quickly as possible.
Having gone to all that trouble to abduct you in the first place, aliens are not likely to want you dead if they can at all avoid it. Your corpse is of little use to their experiments, which all seem to target life processes. In addition, letting you go, if things start to get rough, provides them with the option of recapturing you later when they are better prepared. But be warned, accidents can and do happen. Death through misadventure during escape attempts is not uncommon. Due caution must always be demonstrated.
THREE STRATEGIES FOR UNLEASHING HELL ONBOARD AN ALIEN SPACECRAFT
The best course of action is physical aggression. To put it bluntly, take out as many aliens as possible. Having turned the tables on your captors, now turn their heads, literally, until they snap off. Leave them with no doubt that you mean them harm and you do not, in any sense of the word, come in peace.
Feel free to engage in wanton destruction; vandalize anything you can get your hands on. Aliens are a long way from home, and the last thing they want is to have their life-support systems damaged. Demonstrate that the risk of keeping you onboard far outweighs any benefits.
And finally, feign insanity. Scream like a banshee, wail and roar, whatever it takes. Don't hold back. Remember, aliens can only hear high-pitched sounds. There is nothing more fearful than being locked in a confined space with a creature that is out of control and apparently has no concern for its own safety. Anything can happen, and usually does.
To date, aliens have revealed to those who've been abducted only one real weapon in their armory: mind control. They have used this formidable power to their advantage, unchallenged, throughout their entire association with mankind. When this power is overcome, they are rendered effectively defenseless.
A combative and maliciously destructive human is a threat to not only their own personal safety, but to the security of their ship. Professor A.C. Bishop, working with case studies during a clandestine military research project near Havelock, North Carolina, in the late 1980s, identified three behaviors, which, if applied with appropriate vigor and enthusiasm, will almost guarantee prompt eviction from any alien spacecraft.
7. ABANDON CAUTION. Trying to avoid detection while onboard an alien spacecraft is futile. Elaborate biomonitoring systems are able to instantly pinpoint your location and track every move you make. There is little point trying to sneak down corridors or hide in dark recesses. Abandon all pretenses of stealth and head toward your goal without hesitation or restraint. Success will not be achieved by the cautious.
8. TAKE NOTHING BUT MEMORIES (LEAVE NOTHING BUT CORPSES). Resist the temptation to take any mementos from the spacecraft upon your exit. Although you may think they would look good on your mantle or prove themselves useful for verifying your story to the media, most escapees who have souvenired any unsecured items have soon been recaptured.
THE ALIEN INVASION SURVIVAL HANDBOOK
Alien artifacts are engineered from extraterrestrial alloys that are readily traceable. Onboard remote sensing instrumentation can home in on stolen equipment from many miles away. Even a small surgical tool can act like a beacon, broadcasting your location. If you use any alien equipment as a weapon while escaping, make sure that you dispose of it within the first 300 feet of the craft, unless, or course, you propose to use it as a lure or a decoy to throw them off your trail.
ESCAPE SCENARIOS
ESCAPE SCENARIO
GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS
% OF ESCAPES
LEVEL I
Pre-Boarding
Escapes that occur during an attempted abduction. These escapes occur before being taken into an alien craft. Escapes typically occur while the potential abductee is still in his or her own home, another dwelling, or in an exterior urban or rural/wilderness landscape.
&
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LEVEL II
On the Ground
Escapes that occur after being forcibly taken onboard an alien craft that has not yet become airborne. The abductee escapes out of the craft at ground level.
30
LEVEL III
In the Air
Escapes that occur from an alien craft while in flight within the atmosphere. Involves leaping from the craft while in motion either into water or onto land. Extremely hazardous. High injury/death rate.
2
LEVEL IV
In Space
Escapes that take place from alien craft while in space. Very rare. Only a handful of successful attempts recorded.
<0.0001
Although most abductions follow a similar script, the manner of escape from your alien captors is almost infinitely variable. The outcome of your escape bid will ultimately depend on a multitude of factors that are impossible to predict, such as the number of alien hostiles, the location of the abduction attempt, the type and extent of any personal injuries, the nature of the terrain into which you escape, the time of year, whether it is day or night, and what weapons you have at your disposal. Devising detailed contingency plans is, as you can well imagine, extremely difficult. Yet, forewarned is forearmed. Preparation is still your best chance of survival. Therefore, it is important to analyze a range of typical and not-so-typical escape scenarios to familiarize yourself with the diverse range of situations you could encounter.
D.V. Pulbrook, one of the modern fathers of alien escapology research, devised a four-point classification system, known today as the Pulbrook Scale, to describe the disparate range of escapes from alien captivity that have been reported over the last half-century. Each level represents a ten-fold increase in the degree of difficulty and the degree of personal risk.
Levels I and II escapes have the highest success rates, while Levels III and IV represent extreme scenarios where the probability of life-threatening injury, or death, is substantial.
It is important to assess the potential risks involved in any situation you find yourself in before you decide on the appropriate course of action.
LEVEL I: PRE-BOARDING ESCAPES
Boarding passes will not be required during Level I escapes. Sixty-eight percent of all successful escapes have occurred either during initial contact, when the aliens are attempting to paralyze their subjects, or while transporting their captives to their craft. Remember, it is easier to fend off attempted alien mind control than to overcome it once paralyzed. While outside the alien craft, you are still on “home turf,” so to speak, and have a distinct tactical advantage.
Also consider that 84 percent of all abductions occur in locations familiar to the abductee. In a familiar environment, you know the lay of the land and can utilize this knowledge in a fight-or-flight situation. Early warning detection devices, such as electromagnetic radiation detectors, can be set and escape routes pre-planned. Field-expedient weapons are more readily available. It is also easier to quickly get out of range of alien electroparalysis fields.
Every endeavor should be made to escape before being taken inside an alien spacecraft.
LEVEL II: ESCAPING THE CRAFT WHILE STILL ON THE GROUND
Finding yourself onboard an alien spacecraft for the first time can be a frightening and disorienting experience. The very fact that you are onboard would indicate that you have been abducted, and, as a result, are in danger of being subjected to a series of experiments that will negatively impact you and your loved ones for the rest of your lives.
Once taken onboard an alien craft, you will generally have between five and ten minutes in which to escape before lifting off. Airborne escapes are significantly riskier than escapes on the ground, and they rarely end to the satisfaction of the escapee. It is often difficult to tell when you have become airborne in an alien craft as g-force suppression technologies inhibit the human ability to sense motion, no matter how rapid. So it is important to act quickly.
Apart from the inherent dangers associated with the medical procedures carried out by your captors, the spacecraft environment itself presents a few potential hazards. A knowledge of these risks will proove to be invaluable to you during the mayhem of an actual escape.
The primary danger comes from the spacecraft's propulsion systems. While onboard the alien craft, these pose no significant threat, as they are protected within a secure containment area. However, outside the craft, there is risk associated with exposure to the underside of the craft during landing and takeoff. To avoid exposure to high-level electromagnetic fields, it is important that you are at least 50 yards — or preferably 100 yards — from the craft when its engines are operational.
Another potential hazard, although minor, exists in the physical dimensions of the spacecraft itself. Most alien crafts are relatively small in size, with interiors designed for their somewhat diminutive occupants. You may have to double over as you run down the corridor toward the escape hatch and duck under doorways to avoid sustaining a nasty head injury on the architrave. Always watch your step as you exit a spacecraft. Tripping over the spacecraft's landing legs or falling off the end of its gangplank not only is embarrassing, but you could easily twist your ankle, making further escape impossible.
LEVEL III AND LEVEL IV: EXTREME ESCAPES
Escapes do not always go as planned. One moment it may seem that freedom is within your grasp, the next, you are confronted with a situation that appears impossible to survive. If the unthinkable happens, you must be prepared, or, at very least, be familiar with the best course of action and what has worked for others in the past. You must be able to instantly weigh the odds of success, determine your chances of survival, and make a decision if you are not to risk recapture.
THE ALIEN INVASION SURVIVAL HANDBOOK
Extreme escapes are a last resort. All other means of evasion should be attempted first.
How to Survive a Freefall Skydive After Being Jettisoned at 20,000 Feet
First and foremost, think positively. Although survival is improbable, it is not entirely impossible. At least three military airmen have survived falls from over 15,000 feet without parachutes. Nick Alkemade was a tail gunner in a British Lancaster bomber during World War II. While returning from a mission over occupied Europe on March 23, 1944, his plane was hit by enemy gunfire. As the plane started to spiral out of control and Alkemade was unable to reach his parachute, he decided to leap from the plane rather than burn to death in the wreckage. He fell more than 18,000 feet before hitting the ground. Trees in a pine forest broke his fall before he landed in soft snow. He sustained only minor injuries, including a sprained ankle, and was able to walk away from the scene.
FIGURE 3.1: Utilize freefall maneuvers to reduce your air speed.
In addition to arming yourself with the assurance that survival is possible, you would do well to remember the following guidelines.
WARNING
Free jumping is a high-risk activity and should not be attempted unless in the most life-threatening circumstances. All other alternatives should be considered before jumping. This is not a procedure that can or should be practiced at home.
1. DON'T PANIC. As always, it is imperative that you remain focused and attentive for the three minutes it will take you to reach the ground. Upon exit from the spacecraft, search the terrain below for suitable landing sites.
2. UTILIZE FREEFALL MANEUVERS. It is vitally important that you reduce your air speed as much as possible. This can be achieved by adopting the stable “face to Earth” position. Spread your arms and legs. A falling body reaches a maximum speed, or terminal velocity, of around 120–140 miles per hour. This speed is reached after falling just 1,000 feet. So a fall from 20,000 feet makes no difference to your final impact speed.
3. SELECT A SUITABLE LANDING SITE. This is the key to your survival. The best drop zone will be over a forest, a swamp, snow, or any terrain that can absorb at least some of the impact. Avoid urban areas, exposed hillsides, and ag
ricultural land. Make any in-flight course corrections by shifting your body weight or adjusting the positions of your arms and legs.
4. ADOPT A LANDING POSITION. Keep your body upright and relaxed. Bend your knees slightly and point your toes in the direction of the proposed landing site. Arch your hips in the direction of the proposed roll. Tuck your arms tightly around your head.
5. LAND AS SMOOTHLY AS POSSIBLE. It is important to remember that it's not the 20,000-foot fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end. Contact with the ground should be performed in a single, continuous motion so that the shock is not focused on any one part of the body. Initial contact should be made with the feet, then rolling on one side, the calf, followed by the thigh, buttocks, then diagonally across the back. Remember to keep your head tucked down and your feet and legs together as you roll. Do not use your arms to break your fall; they must protect your head.
6. ASSES ANY DAMAGE AND RUN FOR COVER. It is highly likely that you will sustain significant injuries upon impact. This, however, should not deter you from seeking immediate cover. Aliens have been known to scour an area for hours looking for escapees. There is no guarantee that concealment will be successful, but at least you don't want to make things easy for them.
How to Survive a Jump From a Low-Flying Spacecraft Into Water
You are onboard an alien spacecraft and have just overpowered your captors. You run down a dimly lit corridor when there is a sudden rush of cold air behind you. Turning around, you see a floor panel sliding open. Looking through it, you see water rushing past, some 150 feet below. Hearing footsteps coming up the corridor, you decide to take your chances and jump through the hatch. You're as good as free … if you remember these instructions.