Four Letter Word

by J. Daniels

Tori sighed and looked at the ground beside the couch.

  “Okay, but you’re gonna be missing out on seeing Shay and Stitch together for the first time outside of work…”

  “What?”

  Her eyes sliced to mine.

  “Stitch and Shay are making their debut appearance together as a couple at this thing?” I asked, building height on my knees and letting the quilt slide down my back.

  They weren’t a couple. Not officially, and if you asked Shay or had the nerve to ask Stitch, she denied it and he ignored you, but Kali, Tori, and myself all knew better.

  They were totally into each other.

  “Sort of,” Tori replied, her shoulder lifting with a jerk. “Shay invited him and she’s hoping he shows. I’m thinking since this is the first time she’s invited him to anything and he’s probably been chomping at the bit waiting for such an invite, he’s gonna show.”

  My decision was made. I knew I couldn’t miss an opportunity like this for the world.

  I sprung from the couch and let the quilt fall to the floor.

  “Okay, I’m in, but I’m not changing,” I told Tori, tugging on the bottom of my hoodie. “I’m not going to impress anybody so I don’t see the point.”

  She grinned big.

  “You look super cute and comfy in that so I agree, don’t change.”

  “Great.”

  “But maybe comb your hair a little.” She cringed through her suggestion. “It looks like rats were building a nest in the back.”

  My eyes widened as I reached back and felt the tangled mess Tori was referring to.

  I could barely feel my scalp.

  Needless to say, I combed my hair before we left for the party.

  * * *

  Tori was right. Jamie’s beach house was ridiculous, at least from what I could tell from the outside.

  It had to be the size of at least three of her houses, and in my eyes, Tori always had the best of the best.

  This was crazy big.

  And absolutely stunning.

  Two stories and right off the beach, so close you could hear the waves crashing—it was like having your ear pressed to a seashell—the house looked front cover of a magazine worthy or something you’d rent for the weekend with twenty of your friends.

  A gorgeous wraparound porch made of white worn wood seemed to be the home for multiple multicolored surfboards, all propped against aged earthy green siding and, above it, another porch for the second level, this one acting more like a deck for the front of the house.

  I couldn’t imagine having my own deck access from my bedroom. I was just thrilled to have a window facing the ocean.

  The driveway was filled with vehicles, and so was the yard, for that matter. People had pulled right off the road and onto Jamie’s half-sand, half-grass terrain, including Tori, who drove us.

  I followed her up the front steps and inside, the door swinging open freely. Bodies filled the wide-open entryway. The house somehow appeared bigger on the inside, with rooms off to the right and left, one looking like an office I imagined didn’t see much use and the other possibly a formal dining room, except in place of a standard table, a pool table sat in the middle of the floor.

  A game was going on while girls in bikini tops and jean cutoffs danced to some bass-heavy tune off to the side, dropping low and popping their hips.

  I was slightly overdressed in my hoodie and leggings but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t planning on dropping low or popping anything.

  Straight ahead was an extra-wide staircase leading up to the second level. You could walk around it and enter another part of the house, which was the direction Tori was headed as I followed close behind her.

  “Is Shay here yet?” I yelled over the music as we walked past a speaker, tugging on Tori’s wrist.

  “She texted when we got here. Stitch stood her up so she isn’t coming.”

  I halted in the hallway, which in the process halted her.

  “You got a text before we left the house. Not five seconds ago,” I pointed out through a hiss.

  Tori turned her head to look at me.

  “Same difference,” she said, smiling a little.

  Damn it!

  “Tori!”

  God, I could kill her. She knew I didn’t want to come to this.

  Tori twisted her arm, broke out of my hold, only to grab my elbow and give it a jerk, pulling me behind.

  “Come on, Syd. You needed to get out of the house anyway. You were starting to attach to the furniture.”

  “I was not,” I snapped but I did it weakly.

  I kind of was. Or at least I was on my way to attaching to the Christmas quilt. I was starting to drag that thing around everywhere like Linus with his blanket.

  We moved around the staircase and stepped into a large room that seemed to span the length of the house, with floor-to-ceiling windows giving view to another deck that also ran the length. A huge, open kitchen was off to the left, one I was certain Martha Stewart would cut a bitch for. It was gorgeous even from a distance. I thought I spotted two ovens, two ovens, before my eyes moved through the rest of the room, occupied mostly by a large seating area—a comfy-looking sectional and two recliners facing a giant flat-screen TV mounted above a fireplace.

  I was calculating how rude it would seem if I curled up on that sectional and stayed there the rest of the night when Tori nudged me with her elbow, grabbing my attention.

  “There he is,” she said.

  I followed her eyes across the room.

  Jamie was standing at a rectangular table littered with red plastic cups, a game of beer pong going on, which he appeared to be participating in. He was focused on it, his arm around the waist of a scantily dressed blonde, all tits and ass hanging out of a bikini, no shorts, who was up on her toes pressing kisses to his neck.

  Or at least she was.

  Eyes lifting from the game, Jamie spotted Tori a second after I spotted him, released the neck kisser like she was on fire, and grabbed a cup before moving purposely through the crowd.

  I might as well have been attached to a piece of furniture at that point. He didn’t notice my presence at all.

  “What up, Legs,” he greeted Tori with a sexy, all-knowing smile, hair tussled and a cigarette tucked behind his ear, coming to a stop when he entered her personal space. “Surprised you’re here. Thought you hated me, babe.”

  Tori plucked the cup out of his hand, brought it to her mouth, and downed it, thrusting it against his chest when she was finished and licking the residue off her lips.

  “I do,” she replied, but she said it over her shoulder as she walked away and in the direction of the kitchen, giving Jamie eyes that screamed, Come and get me, with hips swaying heavily.

  “Fuck yeah,” he mumbled, and was about to follow her when someone yelled behind me, turning his head and then, on his own, lowering it, spotting me for the first time.

  His sexy smile turned soft and slow lip-curling, like something was jogging his memory.

  I waved and attempted a smile, though I was sure it came out looking more like a quirky frown.

  I wasn’t much for smiling these days.

  “It’s you,” he said, eyes roaming my face. “Sydney, right?”

  I gave him an odd look.

  Idiot.

  I waited on Jamie every time he came into Whitecaps because Tori refused to do it, and every single time, I went through my standard greeting, politely introducing myself, yet here he was, acting like I hadn’t told him my name at least ten times before.

  Why were pretty boys so stupid?

  “Uh, yeah,” I replied, awkwardly cutting my eyes away because he was now full-on staring. “Nice house. Seems like a lot for just one person.”

  “I have a roommate,” he replied, undisclosed humor in his voice. “You should meet him. He’s around here somewhere, sulking over some girl he’s completely fuckin’ gone for. Messed up big with her and now he’s miserable, killin’ the mood and shit.”

/>   Why was he telling me that? What did I care about his roommate’s relationship issues?

  Idiot.

  “Bet you could cheer him up,” he added.

  I cut my eyes back to Jamie.

  He was still smiling, doing it more obvious now.

  Bet I could cheer him up.

  Yeah. I knew exactly what that meant.

  Random sex with a stranger was the last thing on my mind.

  I shoved my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie and twisted my fingers together.

  “I think I need a drink,” I said, wetting my lips.

  Alcohol, the curer of all heartaches.

  Jamie held his arm out and, with his other hand holding the empty cup, directed me toward the kitchen with it pressed to my lower back.

  “Help yourself. I’ll be busy with Legs the rest of the night, so if you need anything, like I said”—he smiled down at me—“find my roommate.”

  “Right. Thanks.”

  I moved into the kitchen and over to the island, where every combination of girly beverage was on display.

  Daiquiri mix in a blender, wine coolers, wine, Jell-O shooters.

  I grabbed a cup and filled it with the cream-colored slush I assumed was piña colada flavored and took a sip, confirming that while my eyes scanned for Tori.

  She was missing. So was Jamie.

  I had a feeling he had either found her and they were off doing something together, naked and heavy breathing, or he was still trying to find her and hadn’t gotten to his bedroom yet, which I imagined was where she was waiting, naked and on the verge of heavy breathing.

  I cringed when someone cranked up the music.

  The room was noisy without the extra background effects. Over the music, people were hollering and squealing, some were even singing along to song lyrics, and all of it was pressing on my brain and making my eyes hurt.

  I moved to the slider and stepped outside onto the deck.

  It was quieter and nowhere near as crowded as the inside of the house. A small group of people were sitting on lounge chairs and smoking. They were talking but they weren’t hollering, so my head was already thanking me. Below, I could hear voices of people walking to and from the beach, which I got a better view of when I moved to the railing and looked out.

  The view was beautiful. Salt water seasoned the air, and the shades of the setting sun painted the water in oranges and muddied reds.

  I’d been in Dogwood a month and had been down to the ocean only once. Insane, right? I lived at the beach and I wasn’t experiencing it.

  It hadn’t been a priority, and honestly, I didn’t have a lot of free time on my hands.

  When I wasn’t picking up shifts at Whitecaps, I was talking on the phone to Brian, shut up in my room or doing it lying on the couch if Tori wasn’t home.

  Now I wasn’t shut up in my room or lying on the couch, quilt-covered and heart-shattered. I was no longer talking on the phone to Brian and I wanted to see the ocean. I wanted to feel the sand beneath my feet and skim the waves with my hand.

  I had tons of free time tonight while Tori got laid. Might as well make the most of it.

  I took the stairs down a level and stepped out beneath the deck.

  A couple was sitting on a hammock going at it like their boat was sinking, sloppy-suctioning kisses and need-filled moans spilling into the air.

  There had to be a handful of empty rooms in that house. They couldn’t pick one and save me the surround sound?

  Gross.

  I followed the sand-covered path down to the beach, taking small sips of my drink as I went. Deep voices grew louder the closer I got to the water. I wasn’t paying much attention to them. I was looking ahead and forward to feeling the temperature of the ocean and maybe even finding a couple of pretty shells when the voices grew loud enough to hear clearly.

  Very clearly.

  That’s when it happened.

  I stopped, feet frozen and ears alert when one of the voices not only grew loud enough to focus on but also registered in my mind as a voice I’d possibly heard before.

  “Don’t know why I gotta keep repeating myself. It wasn’t like that,” the man said, sounding irritated. “She was sweet and good to talk to. Funny and cute about shit. Real cute. The fact that she was also a stunner didn’t surprise me. I heard it in her voice. But for the last fuckin’ time, and I mean this, I’m not saying it again, that’s not what got me. I was fucked before I even saw her picture.”

  “You saying you were gone for a girl you never fucking met, Brian? Not possible,” the other guy replied.

  I sucked in a breath.

  Brian.

  A phantom heartbeat fluttered in my chest.

  No way…

  With gentle steps, I moved closer to the voices, reached the end of the path, and peeked around an overgrown bush, spotting the two men standing on the beach.

  I watched the one guy, taller than the other, who had his back to me, cross his arms over his chest and say to his friend, “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. You talk to Sydney one fuckin’ time and you’ll know where I’m coming from. It was that fuckin’ good.”

  I squeaked then. Not a gasp but a squeak I tried to conceal with a quick hand to my mouth, cup hitting the sand, but it was too late.

  They both heard it.

  Two pairs of eyes sliced in my direction. I stared back at the one pair coming from the one voice I knew, in my blood and my bones and the breath filling me, I knew that voice and the man it belonged to.

  He stared back, eyes narrowing to focus better, focusing enough to make me out where I stood then going round and filling with surprise.

  Pain lanced through me.

  I wanted to run. To him or away, I didn’t know which urge was stronger, and it felt like I was being pulled in both directions by forces I couldn’t fight so I stood there, staring back as my hand uncovered my mouth and skimmed my throat.

  “Brian?”

  He was moving before I spoke, long legs closing in fast, and before I could blink, he was right in front of me, close enough to smell and feel if my eyes were closed but I definitely couldn’t test that theory right now.

  I stared unconsciously into his face, tilting my head back to do so and taking in every inch of him.

  Dark hair buzzed close to his scalp, thick eyebrows and deep green eyes, several days’ worth of stubble coating his jaw, which appeared sharp beneath it and full, perfect lips, parted as he breathed slow and heavily.

  Beautiful.

  I knew he was.

  “Oh, my God,” I whispered. “It’s you.”

  He blinked, breath shuddering.

  “You recognize me?” he asked.

  I bit my lip to suppress a moan because, God, that voice. It melted my insides when it sweetly assaulted my ears and turned my bones to jelly. It always had but now, seeing the man behind it and the mouth responsible for it, watching it shape and twist those words so perfectly, I was done.

  Done.

  Toast.

  A goner.

  I blinked when he stepped closer.

  “Syd,” he pressed, eyes desperate as they searched mine.

  “Holy shit. Are you the girl?”

  The other man moved beside us and slapped his hand against Brian’s back, who was keeping his eyes focused on me.

  I looked to the friend and recognized Exhibit A from Whitecaps, who I now knew went by Cole.

  “Uh,” I answered.

  I was in shock. Was he expecting me to speak?

  Cole grinned.

  “Small world,” he chuckled, looking between us. “Small fucking world. I’ll leave you two alone since you probably have a lot to talk about.”

  He gave me a wink then shuffled past me and disappeared down the path, doing just that. Leaving us alone.

  I was alone…with Brian.

  Oh, God.

  Oh…God. Now what?

  I looked up and met pleading greens, filled with desperation I could feel agai
nst my skin.

  Questions and confusion swirled in my brain. My stomach was doing nothing but flips and excited little twists.

  It was Brian. My body knew Brian and it was acting up impulsively, reacting to that smooth familiar voice and more, and when he reached out and held my face, thumb sweeping over my cheek as his lips whispered, “Wild,” soft and ache-filled, I stopped thinking and feeling altogether and sprang, launching myself at him and into his arms, which curled instantly around me, drawing me nearer and higher until our mouths met in a kiss that hurt and healed so deeply my soul cried out.

  Beautiful.

  Knew it would be.

  He kissed hard and I kissed harder, exploring every inch of his mouth as I whimpered with moaned-filled breaths that vibrated with hunger.

  Brian was a great kisser. The best kisser, sure and practiced, and even though he was only the third guy I’d kissed in my entire twenty-four years of life, I was certain no lips matched up to this pair.

  No tongue.

  No teeth, knowing expertly when to nip and drag and sink until I cried out.

  Strong hands moved down my back to my ass and gripped, lifting me until my legs wrapped around his waist and I felt him there, hard and heavy.

  “Please,” I whispered across his mouth.

  Brian groaned, head tilting to kiss me deeper.

  One hand settled on my ass and dug in so hard I thought he might shred my leggings while the other pushed through my hair, twisted into a grip, and held on at the base of my neck, his legs carrying us somewhere quickly while I raked my nails over his scalp and across his shoulders through his tee.

  The light changed above us. I felt it on my eyelids, and opening them, I saw we were now under a pier, hidden from sight and more alone than we were a minute ago.

  “We should talk,” Brian suggested, pressing me against a post with lips grazing my jaw and lower, where he sucked openly on my neck.

  “We will,” I answered, and maybe it was the assurance I gave that we would have something after we fucked because that was absolutely what was about to happen, we both knew it, and it was enough of a promise to pacify and allow him to focus on latching his mouth back onto mine and using it to kiss instead of suggest differently.

  Or maybe he felt as crazy as I did in that moment, Wild in every sense of the word, and he couldn’t stand another second of missing my taste, setting me on my feet as our hands ripped and tugged and stripped each other of clothing then pressed and felt, touching everywhere for the first time. Breasts, hips, chest, waist, ass. We were frantic.