The Immortal Continent

by Virlyce

  “Lucia, w-welcome back,” Softie said the instant I appeared on deck through teleportation. Her face was bright red. Was she still thinking about that kiss? I hope not. That kiss wasn’t a one-time thing, right? I have to kiss her after every meal to reduce my impurities to get stronger faster to subdue Durandal…. Eh, I guess I don’t need to do that anymore, huh?

  “Where’s everyone else?” Oh! We’re back in the Shadow Devil Sect. How much time has passed? Mm. Well, that doesn’t matter! In the Shadow Devil Sect, I can finally do whatever the heck I want and be praised for doing it! I can eat aurochsen or running fish and everyone watching will think I’m amazing! Being a chosen is great. I don’t get why Softie didn’t abuse her status more often, sheesh. She can live such a good life, but she lives in a cave.

  “They went to report to the sect first,” Softie said. “I also had them tell my grandfather that you were looking to bathe in the impurity-cleansing pool. He’s setting up certain measures to prevent the pool from being contaminated again.”

  Right…. In my fit of madness, I did tell Softie I wanted to bathe in the impurity-cleansing pool.... But I don’t need to do that now! Honestly, there’s absolutely no reason for me to work hard or get stronger at all. If anyone as scary as the crown prince tries to kill me, I’ll have Durandal beat them up! And if Durandal tries to bully me, I’ll make him despair. Hmm? What will I do if an immortal tries to kill me? Hah! That won’t happen because I’ll be spending my days in luxury without provoking anyone!

  “Junior Lucia! Welcome back.” Ooh, that’s a familiar voice. Like I thought, it’s Softie’s grandfather. “I’ve set up the perfect system to cleanse you of impurities. You’ll sit atop a mountain, and we’ll pour the impurity-cleansing liquid over you. The impurities will be flushed away, and the impurity-cleansing pool will remain unsullied. How does that sound?”

  Even though he calls it impurity-cleansing liquid, I know it’s actually fish pee. But if it washes away my impurities, wouldn’t it count as clean fish pee? Hmm. Eh, it doesn’t matter, I guess…. And this method sounds acceptable. There’s no reason for me not to accept even though I don’t need to grow stronger. But there’s just one thing…. “You’ll pour it over me slowly, right? Like one bucket at a time?” If they poured the whole pool on top of me at once, then it’ll be the same thing as drowning me!

  “Yes, of course,” Softie’s grandfather said and nodded. He stroked his beard. “I’ve taken your strange phobia of water into consideration.”

  It’s not a phobia! It’s a justified fear! Phobias are exaggerated and irrational fears. But fearing water is completely rational! If you drink too much of it, you can die. If you drink too little of it, you can die. You can drown in it. You can choke on it. Heck, you can slip on it and crack your head open and boop! You’re dead. Right. It’s not a phobia. “Okay. When do we start? Now? Yeah, let’s start now.” I need a bath after all that strenuous activity with Durandal.

  “We can get started right away. Follow me,” Softie’s grandfather said and floated into the air with the assistance of a flying sword.

  Why didn’t he just command the boat? Mm. Well, I can do that. I went to the steering wheel and had the boat take off after Softie’s grandfather. A few minutes later, we ended up at a mountaintop … that was occupied by a ton of people. These people aren’t all here to watch me bathe, right? At least they’re all women, so I guess it’s not too bad. It’s still weird though! “Why are there so many people?”

  Softie’s grandfather cleared his throat as he stopped and landed on the ground. “They’re here to make sure nothing happens. Don’t pay them any mind.”

  That’s easy for you to say! You’re not the one stripping in front of all of them! Ah, I guess I can wear a towel. Mm, right. That’ll work. “You’re not thinking of watching, are you?”

  Softie’s grandfather stiffened and took a step back. Good, Durandal’s glare worked. “Of course not,” Softie’s grandfather said and took another step back. “You’ve certainly gotten a lot stronger since the last time we’ve met.” He cleared his throat. “Enjoy your cleansing; I’ll be making sure no one comes to interfere.” Then he flew up into the sky and disappeared somewhere to the east. At least, I think that’s the east. Softie said the sun rose from the north, right?

  “Chosen Fluffytail, please, change into these robes before we begin. They’re made of impurity-cleansing fish scales. The effects of the impurity-cleansing water will be greatly amplified while wearing these.”

  A sect member handed me some transparent robes. Why were they transparent? Were they even robes? I can feel something in my hands…, but I can’t see it clearly. It makes sense since those fishies were invisible too. I stripped off my clothes and put on the robes. At least, I think I put them on correctly. “Alright. Now what?”

  “Stand over here, so the impurities will flow down in that direction.”

  The sect member guided me to the edge of the mountain. It was really an edge because the mountain was actually like half a mountain. Like someone had taken a normal mountain and cut it in half, leaving a giant vertical cliff on one side. At the bottom of the cliff, there was an empty basin for the liquid to flow into. They really were pre—pared!? “Gah! You should’ve told me you were going to start!” I didn’t get to take my socks off! There we go. Mm, I’ll leave them to the side since I shouldn’t store Puppers in an interspacial space.

  But the fish pee is cold, dammit! I mean, I guess it’s better than it being warm. If the liquid was warm, then that’d mean it came fresh out of the fish! Wait. Is it better to bathe in fresh fish pee or stale fish pee? I should really stop thinking of it as fish pee because I think I got some in my mouth. It tastes kind of salty. Blech.

  ***

  “Sister Moonlight. There’s only twenty more buckets of impurity-cleansing water left. Should I retrieve some more?”

  “Yes, please do.” Lucia’s cleansing started over thirty minutes ago. Around seven hundred buckets of impurity-cleansing water have been dumped on top of her, yet her impurities show no sign of ending. All the sect members kept their distance from her because none of us wanted to gain or lose any limbs. I called out to Lucia from where I was standing. “Lucia, how do you feel?”

  “I feel like I’m melting! But in a good way.” Lucia was lying on her back with her eyes closed. Her arms and legs were splayed to the side, and a patch of sunlight lit up her skin. She was smiling as a sect member, who was standing over her, poured a bucket of impurity-cleansing water onto Lucia as if she were a plant that needed watering. When the clear liquid made contact with Lucia, it rolled down her body, turning black like ink before falling off her tail which was hanging over the edge of the cliffside. Lucia exhaled as the bucket emptied and the sect member backed away. “This is really relaxing. I should’ve done this a long time ago.”

  I went over to the side of the mountain and peered down the cliff. The basin at the base was almost half full, and strange fumes were rising out of it. I hope the nearby vegetation and creatures aren’t disturbed. Was that movement? A frog hopped along the edges of the basin. Without warning, it stiffened and tilted over to the side before rolling towards the black pool. It bounced off the slope once and landed in the water with a splash. Did, did I just jinx a poor frog? I shielded my eyes from the sun and squinted at the pool, but there were no signs of the frog resurfacing, not even any bubbles or ripples. I … think it melted on contact. I voluntarily took those impurities inside of me…? It, it’s a good thing we’re flushing out Lucia’s impurities now. It’ll be a lot safer to kiss her in the future.

  “It’s hard to believe Chosen Fluffytail accumulated so many impurities, isn’t it, Sister Moonlight?” A sect member walked past me, holding a bucket of impurity-cleansing water. She laughed. “We keep pouring and pouring, but it never stops coming out. An ordinary person wouldn’t make it past the first layer of the mortal realm if they had even a fraction of the impurities Chosen Lucia does.” She tilted the bucket and let a
steady stream flow onto Lucia, causing her ears and tail to twitch as she sighed. Lucia really did look very comfortable. Maybe cleansing felt more soothing depending on the amount of impurities someone had.

  Boom!

  What was that!? The ground’s shaking! Lucia leapt to her feet and reached to the side, grabbing onto her sword. “Explosion?” she asked and tilted her head. Her ears perked up as low rumbles echoed through the valley and mountaintop. “Mm. Well, it doesn’t seem like someone’s tribulation. Maybe—” Lucia’s tail stiffened as her words cut off. Her head swiveled from side to side before she sliced at the earth with her sword, digging out a burrow that she disappeared into in an instant. Like magic, a pile of dirt replaced the entrance to the burrow in a flash, almost as if the burrow was never created.

  “Ribbit!!!” A sound like thunder boomed through the area, causing fissures to appear in the earth and forcing trees to bend as a shockwave rammed into them. Black clouds gathered in the sky, swirling like a massive vortex as red thunder crackled. What was happening!? That’s the largest tribulation cloud I’ve ever seen! Did Lucia enter the sky realm after her impurities were washed away?

  Someone tugged on my arm and shouted, “Sister Moonlight! We should retreat to the center of the sect! Even looking at this tribulation is causing my cultivation base to tremble!”

  But what about Lucia? I can’t leave her here! “Wait! We have to get Lucia out of here!”

  Peals of thunder rumbled louder and louder as the surroundings turned red, lit up by the monstrous lightning bolts that were thicker than trees. They snaked through the clouds, crashing into each other, growing larger with every collision. Within seconds, a massive red ball of lightning that resembled the sun took shape in the center of the vortex of clouds. With an ear-shattering bang it … disappeared? A massive black pillar blocked the ball of lightning from view. Then, the pillar shrank downwards, dragging the lightning down past the peak of the mountain. The tribulation clouds froze in place, almost as if the heavens themselves were stunned. Rays of sunlight broke through the clouds, dispersing them as if everything had been a dream. I swallowed even though my mouth was dry and approached the edge of the mountain. I knelt down and peered over the edge with as much caution as possible. A black frog was sitting by the edge of the pool of impurities, chewing on something. Bolts of red lightning shot out of its rear with every passing second. …Wasn’t that the frog that fell into the pool of impurities?

  The black frog blinked and raised its head, making eye contact with me. It smacked its lips together one more time and swallowed, its abdomen letting out a red glow. If it shot its tongue out at me, I wouldn’t be able to dodge. I wanted to hide, but something told me the frog would attack if I moved, so I held my breath and prayed. The frog’s mouth ballooned a few times, letting out some croaks before it turned around, one step at a time. Then it hopped once, shooting into the sky and disappearing from view. That … was terrifying. It was almost like meeting the immortal back at the Gates of Hell. After regaining my calm, I crawled backwards to—the earth shifted beneath my knees!

  “Wah!” Lucia’s head popped out of the ground like a sprout. “The danger’s gone. Sheesh, what the heck was that anyway? I thought I was going to suffocate. Next time, I’ll leave a hole for some air.”

  I almost fell over the side of the cliff because of her sudden appearance, but thankfully, Lucia caught my ankle with one hand. “L-Lucia. Thanks.”

  “Phew. Caught you. Let’s hurry up and remove the rest of my impurities before whatever that was comes back!”

  ***

  Though there was a slight interruption, I had all my impurities washed away without any serious problems. I feel great! It took a few hours, and there was an issue with the basin down below overflowing, and there was another issue with the impurity-cleansing pool running out of impurity-cleansing water, but somehow, the sect managed to pull through. It’s like I had a whole-body exfoliation; I’m like a new person! My skin is glowing, and my skin is so smooth and silky and soft. Oh! That’s it! This is how Softie’s so soft! She has no impurities; the mystery’s finally been unraveled. I’m much prettier too! Not that I was ugly before, but I went from a beautiful woman to a peerlessly beautiful woman. Mm. That’s right.

  Softie exhaled and wiped away the sweat on her brow with the back of her sleeve. “It’s finally over. How is it, Lucia? Do you notice any difference?”

  “Yup! It’s great!” But a few hours have passed…. I’m hungry now. “Time for my pre-dinner meal!”

  “W-wait,” Softie said. “You just removed all your impurities. If you eat now, it’ll ruin everything. At least channel your Heart Devil Cultivation Technique first.”

  Hmm…. But I’m hungry! But at the same time, it couldn’t hurt to cultivate to stir up my appetite. Alright, it’s settled. I’ll cross my legs and close my eyes and place my hands on my knees and channel that technique. I wonder how many more heart devils my apparitions planted while clearing out those outposts. Huh. I forgot to get them once I came back from the Cave of Wonders. Are they still out there planting heart devils in people? …Nah. The war’s over! I bet everybody already went home. Mm. No doubt, my fluffs are running back to me at this very moment.

  “Wow….”

  “Chosen Fluffytail is amazing!”

  “If I had even half of Chosen Fluffytail’s talent, my family could live well.”

  Mm? I know I’m amazing, but what am I being praised for now? All I’m doing is cultivating. The heart devil wormies haven’t even entered me yet. What’s taking them so long? Is Fluffles eating them again!? Wait, no, he died to the immortal. Then…? I opened my eyes and looked around. Is it nighttime? Already? No way, I couldn’t have lost track of time that easily even if I’m not using a focus bone. Then, oh…. The black sky is wriggling. Those are all heart devil wormies, flying straight at me. That’s a lot! How many people did my fluffs terrorize!?

  One, two, three, four, five…, yeah. That’s way too many to count. They’re disappearing inside of me faster than I can calculate. Mm. Well, the amount doesn’t matter; I’ll keep cultivating! If I become stronger than Durandal, then I won’t even have to subdue him with the Despairing Blade. It’s a little awkward when he cries; it makes me feel like a sadist.

  Pop.

  Pop, pop.

  Pop!

  Hmm? It feels like things inside of me are breaking. Like invisible weights that I didn’t know I had were being shattered. Each heart devil wormy is giving me so much qi! Easily hundreds of times more than before! Is this the power of having a completely pure body? Why didn’t Softie convince me to do this earlier? I’m overflowing with qi! The qi’s so thick and dense that I’m not even hungry anymore—it’s filling my stomach! It’s, it’s filling everything. Wow!

  Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop!

  More shackles have been lifted! I bet I could beat up Durandal right now!

  Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop!

  Mn. My muscles are melting and regrowing. My tail and ears are shedding and refurring. Is that a word? I’m sure it is. If it isn’t, it is now because I used it properly. My bones are breaking and solidifying. And my skin is falling off, revealing new skin underneath! At least, I hope there’s new skin underneath. I’d look pretty freaky if it was just flesh. I’ll open my eyes to check. Mm, yup. There’s new skin. It feels like I turned in my old body for a new one! The sky’s still filled with heart devil wormies. I advanced so far, and I didn’t even absorb them all yet! Time to cultivate some more. I’m really motivated since I can feel my progress in real time. Most of the time, I don’t like doing things that Durandal says will help me in the future because there are no immediate gains. But this is different; the gains are amazing and immediate!

  “Did Chosen Fluffytail break through to the sky realm?”

  “I felt it too!”

  “Wait, doesn’t that mean she has a tribulation to overcome?”

  “We, we should run while we still can!”

  Wait, sky realm? I bec
ame a sky-realm expert!? It was that easy!?

  “All disciples, retreat back to the sect.” Oh, it’s Softie’s grandfather. “You too, Little Moon. I’ll watch over Junior Lucia. Though, I don’t think I’ll be of much help. The very least I can do is prevent her tribulation from damaging our sect too greatly.”

  Everyone’s leaving. Should I stop cultivating and prepare for the incoming tribulation? My tail isn’t stiff, so it must not be coming yet. Right, I should keep channeling this technique until the tribulation arrives. I have to increase my strength as much as possible before it does! Circulate faster, Heart Devil Cultivation Technique. Fly faster, wormies!

  “Junior Lucia, the clouds are gathering. The lightning will fall soon,” Softie’s grandfather said. “If you don’t start preparing now, it might be too late.”

  Mm, my tail is stiffening a bit. Alright, I’ll conquer this tribulation and become a sky-realm expert! And to do that, I’ll call out my super-duper-strong trump card, Durandal! It makes sense, right? Durandal’s already a sky-realm expert. There’s no way he’ll lose to a tribulation to become a sky-realm expert, mhm. As I thought, I’m a genius. “Durandal, come on out!”

  The lightning was gathering in the sky, and it was already balling up as per usual. It was a lot bigger than an earth-realm tribulation’s lightning, but I’m not scared even if my tail is completely frozen like a statue. “Durandal! Destroy my tribulation for me!”

  Durandal appeared with his sword raised. He turned to look at me, and the sword fell out of his hand. He collapsed to his knees as fat tear droplets plopped onto the ground followed by his wails. “D-Durandal!?” He’s still despairing!? Water! I need water! Ah. It’s too late. The lightning’s coming! I cut apart a dragon; I don’t believe I can’t cut apart lightning! They’re almost the same, right? One’s a giant loud lizard, and the other’s a giant loud lizard if I squint really hard. “Breaking Madness Blade Strike!”