Without Boundaries (the Without series)

by CJ Azevedo

  I lie there snuggled into Talon’s side as we listen to Tucker sing about growing up in the grand old west. He strums his guitar and describes a childhood with manure-caked britches, riding horses, and sneaking the old man’s whiskey.

  I have always loved this song because everytime he sings it it makes me feel like it was written about us. The kind of kinship where you fought amongst each other but nobody outside was allowed to even look at us cross-eyed. It describes exactly how our mommas thought we were all angels and we let them believe that, but our fathers knew better and we couldn’t hide too much from them.

  As Tucker begins to wind down I feel conflicted between the peace in my heart and the slight ache it’s caused. The song finishes up by talking about growing up and leaving that kind of carefree life behind. I am so happy right now to be hearing this song, seeing the boys through the phone and having this incredible man next to my side; at the same time my heart longs for that simple fun life and great friends I left behind so long ago.

  Tucker sets his guitar down and takes a drink of his whiskey. “Love you Bay, come home and see us soon.” With that he gets up and walks away from the fire and Blaine puts the camera back on himself.

  “I’m glad we caught you Bay, we seriously miss you. You need to get back home soon. I’m not going to lecture you on visiting your daddy, not tonight anyway, but come on back home sooner rather than later, ok?”

  I sniffle and try to find the strength to talk without my voice sounding too shaky. I realize he can see my red watery eyes but I don’t want to sound weak in front of them. “I will Blaine. I can’t thank you enough for doing this tonight. You don’t know how much it means to me. I love you guys, good luck this weekend!” I plaster on my best ‘everything is A-OK’ smile.

  Blaine and Garrett say good-bye and we hang up the phone. Without saying a word, Talon hugs me a little tighter and I curl up into his chest and cry.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  BAILEY

  I wake the next morning disoriented and stiff. I feel like I have been sleeping for days. The sun is barely peeking through the cracks of the darkened drapes but my head is pounding and the little light that is showing is killing me. Talon suggested I stay with him in his bed last night and I happily agreed. I was not in the mood to lay alone in that huge bed feeling sorry for myself. Plus, the fact that he and I were going back to having boundaries today freaked me out and made me all the more unhappy. So the idea of getting to sleep in his bed, cuddled up to his broad, muscled chest all night made my aching heart subside just a little.

  I get out of bed and stretch my arms over my head. Talon had given me one of his t-shirts to sleep in, so I am currently clad in that and my panties. I don’t know what time it is but I want to thank him for being there for me last night and possibly get one more kiss before I am banned from his beautiful lips. Kali and Hunter will be here soon so I don’t want to chance taking a shower and missing my opportunity to see Talon before they arrive.

  I creep out of his room and glance down the hall to see if he is out on the balcony but the doors are shut tight. It doesn’t look like he is out there so I continue down the stairs in hopes that I would find him the kitchen.

  He is standing over the cooktop with his back to me. He’s wearing jogging pants and a hoodie and is absolutely delectable. I quietly walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. I hear him set his spatula down and turn around in my arms.

  His eyes are sparkling and he has a mischievous grin. “What are you wearing Bay?” He looks amused and maybe even a little uncomfortable, which confuses me.

  “Oh, um I just wanted to run down real quick and thank you for last night. I know our situation changes today, so I was hoping to give you a proper kiss of thanks before Kali got here.” Talon is all out smiling now but he cradles my face and gives me a kiss that makes me go weak in the knees. I pull him closer for support and he deepens the kiss.

  “Ahem!” Oh crap, we’re not alone. “Good morning Bailey.” My eyes are about to bug out of their sockets, my heart is beating out of my chest, and not just from his kiss anymore. Kali is standing somewhere to the right of me and I cannot get myself to look away from Talon who is trying very hard not to bust out laughing. He pulls me back in tighter to his body and leans down to whisper in my ear. “Kali is already here, sweetheart.” He kisses the side of my head then takes a step back.

  I hit his chest good naturedly and frown at him. “Obviously.”

  “Good morning Kali, I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to be here so early.” Kali doesn’t say anything in return, instead she just laughs. I can feel that my face is the temperature of the sun. Talon grabs my hand and starts to pull me out of the kitchen as I tug on the hem of his shirt that I’m wearing to try and cover a little more of my bare legs.

  “Hey! Looking good Bailey,” Hunter says from behind me. I might die of embarrassment right here, right now. Anybody else going to show their beautiful face this morning? Talon’s parents maybe? That would be awesome!

  “Good morning Hunter,” I sigh. Talon and Kali laugh lightly and Talon continues to pull me out of the kitchen and walks me to my room.

  ****

  Talon

  “What time is it?” Bailey practically shrieks.

  “Almost eleven. Why?”

  “God, I’m so sorry Talon. I had no idea it was that late. I would have never gone down there like this if I had even the slightest idea that they would be here already. I’m so embarrassed.” Bailey sits down on the side of the bed and buries her face in her hands.

  I walk up to her and gently wrap my hands around her wrists. There are still bruises there and I noticed last night that she has bruises higher up on her arms also. It kills me to see them. “Look at me, Bay.”

  She shakes her head from side to side before she answers. “I can’t. I just need to get a shower and get on with this day I guess. Oh no, what am I going to say to your sister?”

  “Bailey, please look at me.” She starts to drop her hands but I pull them into me and wrap them around my waist. Her face is in line with my stomach. I place my fingers under her chin and gently guide her face to look up at me.

  She has makeup under her eyes, her hair is all disheveled, and her eyes are a little puffy from crying last night. I know I shouldn’t have suggested she stay with me in my room last night but I just couldn’t help myself. Not only am I extremely attracted to her physically, but I am so connected to her that I cannot handle her being upset in any way. I have no idea what I’m going to do when she leaves and goes back home to that bastard. I guess I’m just going to have to make it impossible for her to decide to leave me.

  “Don’t worry about Kali, alright? It’s not a big deal, I promise you. You look absolutely beautiful in the morning by the way. And wearing my shirt? Mmmm, I almost decided to just carry you right back up here rather than letting you see them in the kitchen.”

  “This is not funny! You shouldn’t be joking about it right now. I feel terrible!” She is full on pouting, but not in the ‘I’m not getting my way’ kind of way that immature bimbo type women do. No, this is the ‘I can’t believe this is happening and I’m mortified’ kind of way.

  I give her an easy smile and cradle her face with both hands and lean down to kiss her. “Bailey, we are adults and we can choose to do whatever it is that we want to do. I do not need my sister’s permission and neither do you. I know the rules are supposed to change today, but since they are already in on our little secret may I suggest that we continue on without the boundaries for the remainder of the weekend?”

  “I’m not sure that’s such a great idea Talon.” She diverts her eyes from mine as she says this. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want those words to be coming out but she says them anyway. I can’t let this happen.

  I reluctantly drop my hands from her face and take a step back from her and shove my hands into my pockets. “Ok, if that’s what you want then we’ll play by your rules. Why don’t you jump in
the shower then come on back down? I was just finishing up with some breakfast.”

  Bailey’s shoulders droop and she lowers her voice. “Please don’t be upset Talon. I am so confused right now and I’m not sure where to go from here. I just think it would be best this way.”

  “I understand; I’m not upset. Don’t take too long or the food will get cold.” I talk as I’m walking backwards to the door. I need to play this cool so she doesn’t get freaked out, just a little time and a little space and then the plan goes into action. And with that I turn around and walk out of her room.

  I go down to my room to grab my phone. I’m sure I have a million missed calls by now with it being a weekday. Just as I am stepping in I hear Bailey’s phone chime with a text message. I decide to grab it for her so she can have it when she comes down for breakfast.

  As I pick up her phone, the words on her screen catch my eye and I can’t help but read the two sentences that jump out and make my stomach turn.

  I love you so much bailey. Please forgive me. ~Hollister

  Now I just want to break her phone. I’m going to have to do something about all of this anger inside me, because at this point I kind of want to beat the hell out of something or someone. Her phone chimes again.

  I’ll never forgive myself, and this will never happen again, you need to believe me. I love you. ~Hollister

  I need to get rid of her phone already. If he sends another one the poor phone might be killed. I power it down and set it on the kitchen counter as I walk around to the cook top again.

  Kali and Hunter are sitting in the dining room right off the kitchen drinking their coffee. I know they both have a lot to say about Bay coming down in just my t-shirt and her panties but they are behaving at the moment. So I finish preparing the breakfast and set it all out on the bar before letting them know they can fix their plates.

  Hunter comes in first with a knowing smirk on his face and he claps me on the shoulder. I shake my head at him as if saying “Not right now man.” So he just smiles bigger and says, “Thanks for breakfast, looks good.”

  Kali comes around the corner next and starts to say something before I cut her off. “It’s not as bad as it looked Kal, and she’s embarrassed so I would appreciate it if you could, just this one time, keep your mouth shut.”

  “Umm, you were shoving your tongue down her throat and she was ‘thanking’ you for last night. If it’s not as bad as it looks, then what is it?” She’s trying to sound pissed for some reason, but she has always been a terrible liar and I can tell that she is enjoying herself immensely.

  A deep sigh flies out of my mouth before I can respond. “Kali, I love you, but I don’t owe you anything. An explanation is not going to happen because it’s none of your business. I just ask that you don’t make this situation impossible for Bailey. You already know she is here with us because she’s going through some pretty tough times. She doesn’t need you to make them worse by making any comments about what you saw this morning. Understood?”

  “Wow. Understood. May I eat my breakfast now or are you going to control that situation as well?”

  “Kali.” I don’t know why she is being so difficult about this, but I feel like I’m getting ready to explode on her. She is really pissing me off. She’s the only sibling I have so we have always been close. We tell each other our darkest secrets, we lean on each other whenever necessary. Even when it’s not necessary, we are always included in on the happenings in our lives. So I’m sure my being protective over Bailey and not going along with Kali’s game of twenty questions and assumptions is most likely throwing her off kilter a bit. I do feel badly for speaking so sternly with her but she has no idea the severity of all of this. Bailey is quickly becoming comfortably situated in my heart and at this point I am willing to do whatever it takes to make her not only see that but to believe it as well. I can’t have Kali messing that all up by teasing her or sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.

  I lost my appetite after Bailey telling me she didn’t think it was good idea for us to continue along without our boundaries so I am just sitting at the breakfast table while Kali and Hunter eat. I hear Bailey coming down the stairs and in an attempt to respect her wishes I try to sit tight and not run to her the way every fiber of my being is begging me too.

  “Good morning again, I decided I needed a quick run before I ate, does that mess up anyone’s plans for this morning?” Bailey asks as she scans all three of us. She looks fairly content. Her eyes are almost normal but still pretty bloodshot from crying. She has redone her makeup so you can’t see the yellowish bruise on her face as much and she’s wearing a hoodie that’s covering the bruises on her arms.

  “Hunter and I still need to unpack and get settled. I wanted to go downtown to the shops this afternoon if you want to come with me, but there’s no time frame on that so whenever you’re ready will be fine.” Kali smiles a little too brightly at her but I doubt she notices it.

  “Yeah, that sounds great! Have you seen my phone Talon?”

  “Uh, yeah, I brought it down for you. It kept chiming with messages so I just powered it down. Hope you don’t mind,” I say as I hand her her phone.

  Bailey gives me a sad smile and I have a feeling that she knows they were messages from Hollister and that I most likely had seen them. “I don’t mind at all. I’m sorry about that. I won’t be very long; I’ll see you guys when I get back.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  BAILEY

  While getting dressed I decided not to let this morning get to me. Kali is my friend, and whatever went down between Talon and me has no effect on Hunter so he shouldn’t be any issue at all. I just need to remain confident and not become insecure or feel badly about my decisions.

  What I am going to do about Talon is a whole other story. I have no clue what to do about that. He seems to genuinely care about me which makes things complicated. I never should have made such a proposal to him last night, but being with him and not touching him or not knowing what it felt like to have his lips on mine was hard enough. Throw Missy in the equation and I was a goner. There was no way I could give him the chance to be with her when I wanted to be with him so badly I could taste it.

  I’m pretty sure he saw messages from Hollister and that kills me. There’s no telling if it was the Jerk or freaking Prince Charming who was doing the texting this morning. If I had to guess it more than likely started out as freaking Prince Charming who probably turned into the Jerk when I didn’t reply right away.

  Gradually getting into a run, I adjust my headphones and pull out my phone to turn on my music. As the phone is powering on I think about who I need this morning to get me through my run. Pink, definitely Pink. She is amazing and her lyrics are what I need right now.

  Ready to listen to some music to pump me up and really get me going I glance down at my phone and see 18 in the little red circle by my message symbol. This is going to be pure hell. I’m in the middle of message number nine (all from Hollister of course) when his call interrupts me. I slow down to answer it because I know there is no way he’s going to stop if I don’t answer this now.

  “Hello?” I answer, winded from running.

  “Bailey! Dammit, it’s about time. I was beginning to think you were lying in a ditch somewhere. Why do you sound so out of breath?”

  “You have just been consistently messaging me this morning Hollister, it’s not like you have been trying to get in touch for a long time. What can I do for you? I’m kind of busy right now.” I sit down at the bottom of the hill on the side of the McAllister’s driveway.

  “Why aren’t you responding to my texts? I’m going crazy over here not knowing what you’re thinking.”

  “You want to know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking that you have no right to be harassing me with all of these messages and phone calls. I’m thinking that I have no idea who are you. I’m also thinking that I’m scared to death to even begin to tell you what I am really thinking and how I’m feeling
for fear that you are going to beat the crap out of me!! That’s what I’m thinking Hollister!”

  Now I’m hunched over crying because all of the heartbreak, confusion, and tears from the past couple of days are catching up to me and I feel like I can’t breathe.

  “I apologized a hundred times for that Bailey. You don’t need to be afraid of me, I love you and I will never let that happen again, I swear to you Bay.”

  “I just don’t know what to do right now Hollister. I need a few more days to figure this all out.”

  “You need to come home; we can figure it out together.”

  “I’m not coming home until Sunday.”

  “Where are you? I know you’re not with Drea, so who are you with?”

  “That’s not important.”

  “It’s extremely important! Are you cheating on me Bailey? Is that why you have been so difficult lately?”

  “No, I am not sleeping with anyone if that’s what you’re asking. However, the second you laid your hands on me you lost all right to even ask such a question!”

  I am losing all control and can’t let him hear that happening so I quickly hang up the phone before the sobs take over. I haven’t let this many tears fall from my eyes in years, now all of a sudden I can’t keep them from coming. I’m crying for all of the losses in my life that I never let myself properly grieve. Now that they have started I decide to give up on the idea of my run. Right now I’m just going to lie on this grass next to the long driveway and let the cold chill of the winter air rush over me.

  I have no idea where to go from here. I can’t even wrap my mind around one specific thing I’m crying for right now. My chest feels like there are only bricks inside my rib cage. I can’t breathe like I should be able to. I can’t settle my mind from bouncing around like one of those balls attached to a paddle by a string; the paddle being my skull and the ball being all of my thoughts jumbled together beating it to death. There is a searing pain shooting behind my eyes, a blinding headache. My lips, nose, and hands are tingling. I’m having a panic attack. Oh God, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!