On the Edge of Fear

by Thianna D

  The logical side of her mind wanted to deny it, but she couldn’t. “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes I do.”

  He gazed at her for a long while as his finger moved lightly over her clit. “Are you sure?” he asked quietly.

  With a strange laugh, she nodded. “Yes. I may be crazy. But yes.”

  “Damn but I love you.” Ryan pulled his hand away and she heard his zipper and then the snap of a condom going on. He put his hands under her arms and lifted her up slightly. “Wrap your legs around my waist.”

  She did but his cock wasn’t quite hitting the correct spot.

  “This looks easier than it is,” he said with a huff.

  “Hold on,” Alec said. “Let us help. James, line him up.” James stepped up to them and moved Ryan’s cock so it was at her entrance. “Now.”

  Ryan thrust up into her and she moaned at the fullness, and how easy it was for him to enter. She was so fucking wet that each thrust came with the wet sounds of sex. He grunted each time he rammed into her and she held him tighter with her feet and her hands.

  Rough kisses punctured each thrust until they were both panting so hard that he stared into her eyes as he pummeled her, fucking her hard and fast. It was like her world had been off kilter her entire life and suddenly it was on track. There was a shout from somewhere in the dungeon, but she barely noticed it. Her entire world was Ryan. Him. His eyes. His lips. His hands. His cock.

  A finger slid between their bodies and rubbed over her clit. Her pleasure zoomed and before she was ready, she came, crying out as Ryan continued to fuck her. The finger left and a few seconds later, he groaned, holding onto her as he filled the condom.

  Her body felt strange, as if it wasn’t her own.

  “It’s okay, Lex,” Ryan murmured. “It’s okay. Relax your legs.”

  It took conscious will to do so. When she released them and he lowered her to the floor, she had to grasp onto his arms to keep from falling.

  “It’s okay,” he said again and kissed her temple. “This is natural. Want to sit down?” She shook her head and curled up to him. She needed his warmth.

  “Here. Put this on her,” Alec said in a low voice. “She’s dropping.”

  Warm hands wrapped a blanket around her and Ryan sat on the ground, holding her on his lap.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  That was intense. Ryan held Alexis close, pressing kisses to her forehead and cheeks repeatedly. He’d hoped that she wouldn’t be repulsed by the scene. He never expected it to turn her on, or for them to fuck in public. But God, when he’d realized how wet she was, he’d wanted to show her it was okay. Had he screwed up?

  She curled up closer to him.

  “James, stay with Ryan,” Alec said firmly and Ryan looked up as James sat down next to him.

  “What’s going on?” he asked. He’d heard the shouts but had been too busy with Alexis to pay them any mind.

  “Not sure. Kendrick came to get Craig. Something about they found a thief and needed his expertise.”

  “Ouch,” Ryan said with a chuckle. “I wouldn’t want to be that person right now.”

  “No kidding.” James yawned. “They won’t be able to sit down tomorrow.”

  “Sit down? They won’t be able to move.”

  James had the languid aura that came with a good orgasm. Wanting to keep him safe, Ryan pulled him close. There was plenty of blanket to go around so he took part of it and wrapped it around him as well. James rested his head against Ryan’s chest and relaxed.

  Ryan had never felt so incredibly good after a scene. Right now, he felt on top of the world.

  Voices were in the distance but he let them be background noise as he took care of the two subs. Alexis had fallen asleep and James was close.

  Movement had him opening his eyes all the way and he was surprised to find Kendrick in front of him. Alec stepped forward and touched James on the shoulder. “Come on, pup. We need to get home.” He helped James to his feet but Ryan couldn’t look away from Kendrick. There was tension in his whole baring.

  “What’s wrong?” he whispered once Alec left. Alexis was so peaceful he didn’t want to wake her.

  “I have something I need to ask Alexis,” Kendrick said almost as quietly. “I’m sorry, Ryan, but this is important.”

  “She’s coming down from a scene,” Ryan tried to explain. “Her first scene.”

  “I know. Which makes this the best time to talk to her. Her barriers won’t be up. She won’t be able to lie to us.”

  Ryan froze. “She—” He wanted to say that she wouldn’t lie, but honesty wasn’t easy for her. Especially lies by omission. He gulped. “What’s going on?”

  “The thief we caught knows her,” Kendrick murmured. “Says she’s been stealing from the Faire since she got here.”

  “No she hasn’t,” Ryan said quickly and then stopped to take a breath. “I don’t believe it. Kendrick, she’s changed her entire life to be here. I can’t believe she’d…”

  “I know. That’s why I want to talk to her now.”

  His heart dropping, Ryan pulled the blanket back and rubbed her arm. “Lex. Wake up, love.”

  She blinked sleepy eyes at him and smiled. “Hi.”

  “Hi. Lexi, can you answer a couple questions for us?”

  “Mmm-hmm?” she murmured.

  Ryan pulled her up so she was seated fully on his lap, somewhat facing Kendrick. Kendrick squatted down so he was at her level.

  “Alexis,” Kendrick said firmly. “Do you know a thief by the name of Shorty?”

  She froze in his arms and her eyes widened. “Y-yes?” Startled, Ryan stared at her. No. That was the old her. Not the new. Surely she hadn’t stolen from anyone. He knew she’d done things before. Hell, she’d had to sell her body to survive. Stealing probably fit in with all of that. But that was the old her, the one who had to scrounge for food and a place to live. Not the Alexis she was on the island.

  “Have you stolen from anyone while living on the island?”

  “No,” she whispered and shook her head. “No. I picked pockets before I came, but I haven’t since you accepted me. I promise.” Her words were jumbled and Ryan tightened his hold, wanting her to know he was there. That he believed her.

  “Alexis,” Kendrick said firmly. “You haven’t stolen since you signed the code of conduct, is that what you’re saying?” She nodded frantically. “Did you steal from anyone at the Faire before that?”

  Alexis sat there with her mouth open and Ryan’s heart dropped. She glanced from Kendrick to Ryan frantically, her mouth moving but no sound coming out. Tears trickled down her face and she stiffened. Her eyes dropped and she pulled from Ryan’s grasp and stood up, her legs shaking. She squared her shoulders as Kendrick stood up. “I did,” she said in a voice that was loud in the stillness. “I came here that first Friday and s-stole from your guests. I lied to you.”

  Ryan wanted to tell her things would be okay, that he’d help, but he couldn’t. Somehow he’d fucked things up. He should have made sure she confessed everything before she signed the document. He knew how strict the code of conduct was. She’d followed it since she came. What could he do to make this better?

  Kendrick looked torn for a second before his face firmed and he nodded. “I see. It’s too late to do something tonight. You and Shorty will be facing sentence tomorrow morning. You won’t be sleeping in a comfortable bed tonight. I’m sorry, Alexis.” He pulled out a pair of handcuffs and held out his hand.

  For a moment, Ryan wondered what she would do, but she held out her hands, palms up, wrists close together. Kendrick affixed the cuffs and led her out of the dungeon. She never looked back.

  Slowly Ryan rose to his feet, his entire world shattering around him. He needed to fix things and had no idea how. Someone stepped in front of him and he blinked through the tears filling his eyes. “Help,” he gasped. Strong arms went around him and he shook with the force of how much he’d screwed up. “I fucked things up, Dad. I really fucked thing
s up.”

  He never should have attempted things until he was a real Dom.

  Chapter Thirty

  Alexis sat on the floor of an unused office and stared blankly ahead of her. Wasn’t it just her luck that a great guy fell in love with her, she’d had the best night she’d ever had, and then to have her entire past come crashing down around her? Yep, that was definitely her luck.

  Shorty sat across from her, his glare barely touching her. What did she care what he thought? She supposed she could blame him, but the only person at fault was her. She should have told Kendrick from the beginning that she’d stolen. No doubt he would have smacked her with that scary piece of leather, but she would have made it through. If she had done that, Shorty’s words never could have harmed her.

  She’d still have Ryan.

  A hiccup of a sob left her lips. Ryan, who was so free with his affection and care. Ryan, who took her from the streets and gave her a life. Ryan, who loved her until…

  Ryan, who would have to find a new sub. And no doubt he would easily. Who wouldn’t want him?

  She supposed she could at least be grateful she wasn’t shackled. Besides her cuffed wrists, she had free movement. Shorty had cuffs on his wrists and ankles and both were shackled together by a short chain. Seated in the only furniture in the room, a straight back chair, was Dr. Myles.

  “Sorry you have to be here all night,” she whispered, needing to apologize to everyone. As he was the only one there, she offered the only apology she could.

  He offered her a tired smile. “I’m sorry you have to be here at all, little sub.”

  Tears stung eyes at his kindness, but she blinked them back. “I’m only getting what I deserve. I should have told the truth from the beginning.”

  “Honesty is the best policy,” he agreed. “I think you were a different person then. It was before you became one of us.”

  Sadly she looked down at her hands. One of them. She wished that was true. Tomorrow, her crime would be public and she would be kicked off the island permanently, just like Shorty. She’d probably end up in jail as well. Never to enjoy the freedom of not having to steal. Never to enjoy walking along at Ryan’s side. Never… never… never… A sob escaped her throat and she tried to hold more of them back. But couldn’t. It was her fault. She didn’t regret coming to the island because otherwise she never would have met Ryan.

  On the other hand, if she hadn’t met Ryan, she wouldn’t be in this mess. A mess that was entirely her own fault.

  “Stop sniveling,” Shorty snapped. “Streeters don’t cry. Or did you forget that point?” Streeters. She’d forgotten that’s what Shorty called them back when she first started out. It had felt like she belonged with something then. Now the term sounded empty.

  “She can cry if she wants,” Myles said firmly. “Crying is cathartic. Maybe you should try it.”

  Shorty grumbled something under his breath.

  The door opened and Alexis turned, her heart speeding up as Ryan stepped inside. He wore a sleeveless t-shirt and it took her a second to realize it wasn’t Ryan. It was Luke. They looked incredibly alike except for their tats. But there was a qualitative difference in them, something she couldn’t even describe, but knew instinctively.

  “Mom thought you could use some food,” he said with a grunt as he handed a bag to Dr. Myles.

  Myles blinked as he took the bag, looking as though he was trying to work something out. Then his face cleared and he nodded. “You must be Luke. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Mmm,” Luke grunted, then turned toward her. “Can I talk with her?”

  “Yes. But watch what you say. She’s shaky,” Myles admonished.

  Luke rolled his eyes, and the action was so Ryan that she laughed a sob. He grimaced a smile and walked over with another bag. After sliding down the wall next to her, he handed it over. “Ryan wanted to be sure you had enough to eat.” He handed her a thermos. “Green tea.”

  With a grateful smile, she took them and sat them on her lap.

  “I’ve got to go back. Anything you want me to tell him?” he asked.

  She opened her mouth, but what could she say? “I’m sorry.” That didn’t quite cover it. “I never meant to lie to you.” That wasn’t exactly true, now was it? She had decided to be honest, but only about those things that didn’t get her into trouble. “I’m a lousy sub,” she finally whispered.

  Luke cocked a brow. “Really? From what Ry said, you’ve been doing all right. Or was that a lie?”

  She took a moment to drink from the thermos and shook her head, the warmth of the tea barely registering. “I thought I was. He’ll do better with me gone, I’m sure.”

  “Stop the martyr act,” he said with a sigh. Alexis blinked in confusion. “Honey, being a martyr makes everyone feel off. Believe me. I’ve got that down. You gotta know that he feels like shit. That he thinks he did something wrong. That there has to be something he can do to make it all better. My brother is beating himself up trying to come up with a solution that will work for everyone and still allow him to keep you.” His voice never rose, but it felt like he shouted the last few words at her.

  “He still loves me? After what I did?” Hope tried to bloom and she shoved it back down.

  Luke snickered and shook his head. “You don’t get it, do you? He loves you, Lexi. He knows what you did and why. The only thing he can think about is how he can make this better. He has a hero complex, my brother. But quite frankly, as friendly and happy as he usually is, he’s been over the moon since he met you.” He shrugged. “Anyone that makes my brother that happy is aces in my book. Of course, I’m being bloody selfish. The way I look at it. If you get kicked off the island, Ry might choose to go to school with me come fall. You two can live together there and I can have my brother nearby. Like I said. I’m selfish.”

  She closed her eyes. If she got kicked off the island—and she surely would—that would be it. Because there was no way Ryan would be happy somewhere else. He loved the freedom Elan Isle gave him. She loved the freedom here. Alexis wished she hadn’t lied that first day to Kendrick. But what was done, was done. Now she had to face the consequences. At least she had a month worth of happy memories to take with her.

  Luke stood up. “I’d best get back.”

  “Thanks for this,” she murmured and looked at the bag of food and the thermos.

  “Ryan said, uh… he said to remind you to eat.” He winced. “I have the feeling I don’t want to know what he meant by saying it the way he did.”

  Warmth, warmth she didn’t want, flowed through her. Even after what she’d done, he still wanted to help her, to keep her healthy. A new sob burst free and then another. Before long, she was crying long and hard at the loss she would feel for a long, long time.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  The dark sky became a little lighter as Ryan stared out over the water. He’d been up the whole night, pacing for the most part. After talking things through with his parents, he’d strived to come up with a plan, with something, anything that would fix everything. No matter how much he tried, nothing came to mind.

  The facts were simple. She’d stolen from the Faire and lied about it. The fact that was the former her, the girl she was before she became a part of Elan Isle, didn’t seem to matter. “But it should,” he hissed through his teeth.

  From the sound of it, she’d given up and was ready to leave the island. Her bedroom was cleaned out when he checked it earlier. All of her things were gone. The only drawer not cleared was the one with his clothes in it. A future without Alexis felt… empty.

  “Think, damn it. Think!”

  A crunch of boots on gravel drew his attention and he looked up as Zippo trotted into view, James right after him. “Morning,” he said.

  James offered a wan smile. “Morning. Wasn’t quite sure where you’d be. David suggested I might find you here.”

  “Yeah. This is where she agreed to be my sub.” Zippo hopped up onto his lap and he scratched
him.

  James sat down next to him and stretched his legs out. “How is she?”

  “I don’t know. Kendrick led her away last night. I sent food and drink. But it sounds like she’s already gone.” His heart felt like it had a hole in it.

  “She’s not. Alec went to the meeting Kendrick called.”

  “Meeting?” Ryan turned to look at him.

  “Yep. Not a full town meeting, but of all the Doms who were at the dungeon last night when it went down. I guess Kendrick wanted their input on what to do with her. He doesn’t want to give her over to the police.” James sighed. “I think at the moment, Kendrick’s hating his job. He has to do what’s best for the island and the township. But at the same time, he likes Alexis and wants to bring a fair judgment. The thief’s being sent out on the eight o’clock ferry. If she goes, they’ll want to send her off at the same time.”

  “If?” Ryan grabbed at the word. “You mean they might let her stay?” he asked with hope.

  “It sounded like it. I only heard the conversation secondhand, but from what Alec said to me before he left, it sounds like Kendrick’s looking for discipline that will absolve her in the eyes of the town. If she were to stay, he doesn’t want any recrimination. She’ll have paid for her crime and that’s that.” James smiled when Zippo hopped over onto his lap. “It’s one of my favorite things about this lifestyle, you know? Not just being able to be free about who I am. But in knowing that when Alec disciplines me that the slate is clean.” Another pause and his cheeks turned a dusky pink. “Thank you for joining in last night. And for letting me help with you and Alexis. It was wonderful.”

  “You’re welcome. And thank you for letting me help out. That was a wonderful scene. Until Kendrick showed up, it was an amazing night.”

  James scratched Zippo and frowned slightly. “Are you angry at her?”

  “At Alexis? No. I think the fault lies firmly at my feet. I should have gained more experience before I took her on. A Dom with more experience would have seen this coming and fixed it.”

  A snort of derision came from James’s nose. “Seriously?”