On the Edge of Fear

by Thianna D

  “They would,” Ryan insisted.

  “Ry, Alec’s been in the lifestyle for seventeen years. Seventeen,” he stressed. “And he still makes mistakes. He misses things. It’s part of being human. You’re a Dom. Get over yourself.” Ryan gaped at him. “That’s right. Get over yourself. Tell me. If you could fix this, would you?”

  “In a heartbeat.”

  “Then do it. Go to the meeting. Beg for her case. Stand up for her as her Dom.” James nudged him. “Think about it. Being a Dom is esoteric and up for interpretation. But being her Dom is something different. Isn’t it?”

  It was like having a blindfold ripped from his eyes. Ryan blinked at James in shock. He was right. When Ryan wondered about what kind of Dom he’d be, it had always been about the future and it was always independent of anyone else. But being Alexis’s Dom. He knew who he was in that context. Ryan knew what she needed from him. He’d promised to be there for her. He’d promised to defend her. Hell. He’d promised to never let her come to harm. What the fuck was he doing? His sub needed him. Ryan grabbed James, kissed him hard on the mouth, and jumped up. “Thanks, James. Where’s the meeting?”

  “Kendrick’s office,” James called after him as he ran along the shore.

  Ryan beat it to the office, panting furiously by the time he got there. He ran to Kendrick’s office, but nobody was there. Had they taken her to the ferry? Ryan darted out of the office and toward the docks. When he got there, he spotted a creepy guy with greasy hair and a perma-scowl in the stocks. Next to him were two of the security guards.

  “Cassie,” he said and she offered him a friendly smile. “Where is everyone? I need to talk to Kendrick.”

  “They went to On Your Knees.”

  It was a good thing he hadn’t had breakfast yet as his stomach squeezed, sending bile to his throat. They took Alexis to the dungeon. Were they going to punish her? No! He zipped around and ran flat out toward the grounds. He knew who they would have do it, too. Craig. Ryan was her Dom, damn it. The only one who should discipline her was him.

  Craig’s whips would tear at her back, giving her scars that would be there for some time.

  Hell, no.

  Ryan knew that Craig played that way and that some subs enjoyed it. Alexis would hate it. It would harm her. Craig wouldn’t mean to, but it would. “No fucking way,” he choked out as he ran through the gates and straight for On Your Knees. Alexis was into sensation and pleasure. Not pain. And definitely not anguish. “Please don’t let me be too late.”

  Two members of security stood outside the doors and Joshua, head of the Faire’s security stepped forward, his hand out. “I’m not sure you want to go in, Ryan.”

  “She’s my sub,” Ryan said, his heart beating so fast that he was panting. But it wasn’t from exertion. “My sub, Joshua. If something’s being done with her, I’m going in.”

  Joshua gazed at him for a moment and then nodded. “Indeed. Go in then. But you were warned.”

  Ryan stepped around him and yanked the door open, half expecting to hear her shriek. All he heard were murmurs. The door slammed behind him and the murmurs stopped.

  “Joshua?” Kendrick said, his voice echoing around the building.

  “No. It’s Ryan,” he said as he strode forward. The usual low lighting was even worse as the only lights on were at the opposite end. He strode between the pieces of equipment and went around the center pillar. On the other side were seven men and two women. Kendrick stood at the head, Craig at his side. Craig was dressed in what they all joked was his Discipline Master attire. Usually the pure black leather pants and vest with a full face mask amused Ryan.

  Today the uniform infuriated him.

  “Where is she?” he demanded as he strode forward. The others in attendance—Alice, Neil, Alec, his father, Chef Michaelo, Joseph, and Amanda—all nodded at him. They looked proud to see him there.

  “Alexis is back at the office,” Kendrick explained calmly. “I’m glad you’re here. I texted you, but when you didn’t show up, we went ahead with the meeting.”

  Ryan pulled out his phone. Four missed texts. “I never saw.” He shook himself. “Now tell me what’s going on. Alexis is my sub and I have a say.”

  Craig’s lips quirked behind the mask and Kendrick nodded. “Yes, you do. Here’s where things stand. I kept the meeting small as it’s not everyone’s business what her crimes are. Everyone here knows what happened. They know she stole from people at the Faire before she became a resident.”

  “We also know,” Craig said, “that she agreed to the code of conduct and told Kendrick that she hadn’t broken any of those rules on the island. That was a direct lie.”

  “She has issues with honesty,” Ryan agreed. “It’s something we’re working on. This doesn’t go any further than us, but you need to know there was a reason she stole. She’s been homeless since she was fourteen. Once we gave her a safe place to live and a job, she hasn’t done it. This is a past crime we’re talking about. One that happened before. I know she still needs to pay for it, but I want that clearly stated.”

  Kendrick smiled. “Don’t worry. They all know. Thankfully we’ve come up with a solution that will give her a choice on what kind of discipline she receives.”

  Hope dawned. “Choice?”

  “Yes. Her first choice is the one we hope she’s willing to handle. She must submit to a full disciplinary action by Craig in front of everyone here.” Ryan’s heart sank. “Ryan, she needs to pay for her crime. She stole from our guests, which means she stole from all of us, as that money would have been spent at the Faire. She also lied to me about it when I gave her an out that first night. If she submits to the discipline, the slate is wiped clean and she can stay.” Kendrick let that sink in and sink it did. Ryan didn’t think she could handle that kind of discipline. “Her only other choice is to be handed over to the police when they arrive on the ferry. At that point, she’ll be blackballed and never allowed on the island again.”

  “Shit.” Ryan rubbed over his face and looked at Craig. He would take his role seriously. Ryan couldn’t allow that. He’d promised Alexis he would protect her. “It has to be me,” he whispered. As he cleared his voice to repeat it louder, Kendrick frowned.

  “Ryan, you’ve never disciplined anyone like this. She has to pay for her crime. Which means you’re going to have to push her far past the point where you want to stop. Even though we joke about it, Craig is nature made for this job. He’s a sadist. He enjoys giving pain. You don’t.”

  He gulped and took a couple deep breaths, his hands forming into fists. “I know I’ve never disciplined anyone harshly before. But Alexis is my sub. My girl. I know the crime was done before that, but I promised to take care of her, to never let her come to harm. This is part of that promise. I… I will discipline her. Nobody else.”

  A mixture of pride and worry flashed in Kendrick’s eyes. He turned toward the others. “In accord?”

  “Yes,” the rest of them said.

  “It needs to be Ryan,” Alec said. “For every reason we know of, it has to be him.” He put an arm around Ryan’s shoulder. “But I don’t think Alexis should know that until after she’s made her decision. She needs to make her decision from the facts only. Prison or a whipping she won’t soon forget.”

  Kendrick nodded, appearing pleased. “Craig, text Dallas and tell him it’s time to bring Alexis. Ryan, a word?” He strode away from the group and Ryan walked after him, wondering what he would say.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Alexis followed Dr. Myles through the fairway. It was just seven a.m. and she knew Shorty had been down at the docks for over an hour. Why she wasn’t, she wasn’t quite sure. It worried her. She’d agreed to discipline when she signed that code of conduct. Would they do that and then send her off in the boat? She supposed she deserved it.

  It was awful to think she would soon be gone.

  Elan Isle had grown on her, had become her home, and she didn’t want to go. Everything she saw rem
inded her of Ryan. When they passed his booth, she bit back a sob. In a couple hours, the Faire would be open and he would be spanking ass after ass. She’d be gone, never to set eyes on him again.

  Why didn’t I tell the truth in the first place?

  On Your Knees loomed up ahead and she swallowed convulsively. Last night she had the most amazing experiences of her life inside its walls. Now she would probably have her worst. No matter what they did, nothing could be worse than being told to leave and never return.

  Two men in security garb stood outside the door and they opened it as she and Myles walked up. They stepped inside and headed toward the center, which was lit up. Kendrick stood to one side, Craig next to him. Even with a mask, she recognized the cold gray eyes. They sent a shiver down her back.

  “Thank you, Dallas,” Kendrick said in a calm voice. “Do you wish to stay?”

  “I’ll remain to give medical attention if needed.”

  She gulped. Would she require his help after it was over? Alexis weaved a little as the blood rushed out of her head.

  “Don’t worry,” Alec said quietly, stepping up beside her. “We’ll never harm you, Alexis.” She glanced up at him and nodded. There were only a handful of people in attendance. At least her humiliation wouldn’t be seen by everyone.

  Kendrick turned toward her and pointed to a spot a couple feet in front of him. “Alexis, come here.” It took everything within her to step toward him. When she reached him, he kept pointing. “On your knees, sub.”

  In a way, it was a relief to sink to her knees as they were wobbly. She hadn’t been sure they would hold her up.

  “This is a unique situation and I think all of us have been up most of the night if not all, trying to find an equitable solution.” His eyes bored down at her. “We understand why, Alexis, but that doesn’t fix the situation. How much money did you steal?”

  Her heart beat fast and sweat trickled down her face. “Just under a thousand dollars. I have most of it tucked into a sock in my drawer.”

  “For the record, have you stolen anything since you signed the code?”

  “No. I promise. I—” She took a breath, wanting to be as honest as she could. “I’ve thought about it a couple times, thought it would be easier, but I couldn’t do it.”

  “Because you signed the form?”

  Heat flooded her cheeks and she shook her head. “No. Because I love Ryan and wanted him to be proud of me.” Her lips trembled, but she refused to break down again.

  Kendrick reached out and cupped her cheek, rubbing over it with his thumb before releasing her. “Alexis, there’s no recrimination here. We know why you did what you did. But you still need to pay for your crime. Here are our two options. The first is to accept discipline at our hands. It won’t be easy and I can assure you it will hurt like hell. But in the act, you will pay for what you did and it will be done. Over. Forgiven. We’ll accept you as a full member of Elan Isle and you can move on as if it never happened. Though,” he said with a wry smile. “That’s a bit of a misnomer. The discipline will change your life.

  “The other option is to hand you over to the police when they arrive on the ferry. You will never be allowed to return to Elan Isle if you choose that one. You have five minutes to make your decision.”

  Five minutes to make a decision that might change her life? Alexis crossed her arms over her chest and huddled into them. Accept discipline from Gray Eyes or go with the police and Shorty. In the immediate, the police were the safer option. But that wasn’t the option she wanted. Luke said that Ryan loved her. Ryan believed strongly in discipline. She had the feeling discipline from Gray Eyes would be horrific and would make her spankings from Ryan look like a cakewalk.

  But it would be momentary. After that… “Kendrick?” she whispered.

  “Yes?”

  She licked her suddenly dry lips. “D-does Ryan know?”

  “Yes, he does.”

  In there she had her answer. He knew. And he always protected her. If he thought Craig would harm her, he wouldn’t have let it happen. He would have stopped it. “Okay. I’ve made my decision.” She hoped it was the right one.

  “All right. Discipline or police?”

  “Discipline.”

  “Good girl. Come with me.” He helped her to her feet and over to a set of stocks. It had been lowered so that it was just above her waist height. Kendrick opened up the top. “Place your head there and your hands in the divots on both sides.”

  She still wore the chainmail dress from the night before, so she supposed it would be easy for them to lift it up and over her rump. But she wished she was wearing padded pants. This was going to hurt.

  Gingerly she placed her neck over the center cut out and her wrists on the other ones. When Kendrick brought the top back down, he fiddled with it until she couldn’t move. She could breathe well enough, but she was well and truly stuck. When he hit a lever on the side that held the top down, she let out a whimper. Oh no. Did I make the right decision?

  The eight men and two women moved around to face her and she looked at each one, surprised when Craig removed his mask and put it under his arm.

  “As I told you when you signed the code,” Kendrick said. “Discipline would be at the hands of our Discipline Master. However, that was before you became Ryan’s sub. We don’t mess with ownership in our lifestyle. Until the two of you decide he doesn’t own you, you belong to him. As such, he has informed us that he’ll perform your discipline. He would not allow anyone else to do so.”

  A sob of relief left her lips. She knew Ryan would never harm her—couldn’t harm her.

  Ryan stepped around the stocks and crouched down to look her in the face. “I love you,” he whispered. His image went wavy as her eyes filled with tears. “You’re not going to like this, Lex, but the end result will be worth it. I’ll never harm you,” he said firmly and she nodded as much as she was able to. He gave her a soft kiss, then stood up and walked behind her.

  He lifted up her dress and pressed it up until it pooled around her shoulders. She’d never felt so exposed. When his hands lightly kneaded her buttocks, she felt another surge of gratitude. Ryan always said he did that so that any spanking he’d give her wouldn’t harm her. Again and again, he’d proved to her that he would always protect her. Alexis hoped this worked because she couldn’t bear walking away from him. It might kill her.

  Kendrick looked over her shoulder. “I’ll let you know when it’s done.”

  That ominous statement startled her right before the first blow fell. She wailed as pain exploded over her ass. Something very hard and large enough to cover both buttocks at once hit her. Before she could find the breath to ask Ryan what he was doing, another one fell. And another. The blows were stronger than anything Ryan had ever done to her. They hurt a million times worse. While she wanted to beg him to stop, she found she couldn’t.

  Blow after blow landed until her behind was in flames and she felt like her ass had been beaten up. Tears and snot poured down her face as she kept trying to catch her breath. It was difficult because every time she took a breath in, that horrible paddle fell, sending it all back out again. Stars burst in front of her eyes and she was afraid she’d pass out.

  It was in that mindset, that she was taken back to the first time she’d turned tricks. She’d picked the pocket of a man and darted into the alleyway to see how much she’d gotten. Only she hadn’t looked to see what else was going on. Several girls were servicing men up against the wall and when she stopped to count her loot, one of the men walked up to her. He flashed a twenty in front of her eyes. “Blow me and this is yours.”

  Alexis had glanced around and seen most of the girls with dicks in their mouths. For twenty bucks, that didn’t seem so bad. So she’d forced herself to squat down and open up his jeans. The taste made her grimace, but it hadn’t lasted long. He’d shoved his dick into her throat three times, making her choke and start to fight before he came, huge gobs of the viscous liquid filling
her mouth and oozing out from between her lips. After he pulled out, he put his dick back in his pants, dropped the twenty next to her, and walked away.

  Wham! The paddle hit her harder and she screamed, crying out for what she’d lost that day in the alley, for all the times since that she had allowed men to demean her for money.

  “Come on, Lexi, it’s easy.” Shorty’s words filled her head and she remembered her third day out on the streets, hungry, alone, and wanting something good to happen. For her father to change his mind. To have her happy life again. It seemed that Shorty was her only hope. He’d given her a piece of bread and told her to watch him. And she did. And she learned. In a couple weeks, she learned how to be the best pickpocket she could be.

  Thwap! The paddle changed. It was more fluid and instead of hitting her all at once, it flowed over her skin, burning and hurting at the same time. She wailed at the pain and fire as she slid into a different memory, a darker memory. The day her early life ended.

  At fourteen, Alexis had been a curious teenager. Especially about sex. Her father and step-mother would never talk about it in front of her. So she’d taken to the internet. And boy had she found things out that turned her on. One day her father came home and found her watching a video with two men having rough sex. He’d screamed. He’d shouted. And he’d thrown her out of the house without a coat or money.

  All because she’d wanted to know about sex and was interested in what she’d seen.

  Gut-bursting sobs left her throat. She wailed and bawled, the pain of those memories exploding within her, eclipsing the pain of her ass, obscuring everything for a long time. As if being covered by a blanket, warmth surrounded her, not letting her sink into despair and she clung to it like a lifeline.

  When the pain cloud dissipated and she realized there was a huge gaping hole somewhere inside, she also realized she wasn’t in the stocks anymore. And that the warmth surrounding her was Ryan. He was seated on the floor and she was straddling his lap and clinging to him. His arms were tight around her and there was a blanket covering them both. Alexis clung to him, hoping it was over. Please, let it be over.