After Always (Always Series Book 5)

by Lindsay Becs

  Always (But don’t get yours too much. Don’t make it weird, Trav.),

  Josie

  PS I might have taken extra pain meds before writing this one. Can you tell? Love you, baby.

  I look up at the ceiling and laugh. That woman… Yes, it was weird to read all that from her, but I wouldn’t expect anything less. That just was Josie.

  “Hey, Dad, I’m staying at Jesse’s tonight with Bear.” Penny swings into my office to tell me on her way out for the day.

  It’s been nice having her back at Pretty Girl working with me again. I missed her more than I thought. And truth be told, she’s a better mechanic than most of the other guys I have employed here.

  “You’re staying there a lot lately, LP. Should I be concerned? Do I smell that bad or something?”

  “No,” she laughs. “It just feels like it’s time I’m on my own. Especially after being gone and coming home. I love you, Daddy, but I’m an adult and I do know how to take care of myself.”

  “But what about me? I can’t take care of myself.”

  “I’m sure Tilly can help,” she teases, not knowing how much I’d like Tilly to help take care of me.

  In the month that Penny’s been back, Tilly and I have hardly spent any real time together. Always afraid we’ll get caught but if she’s going to be at Jesse’s tonight…

  “You alright?” Penny asks me. I forgot she was still here as my mind started to wander to Tilly.

  “Yeah, I’m good. Go.”

  Once Penny leaves, I make quick work of finishing up for the day and closing the garage. Dirty and smelly, I go straight to Tilly’s house, not bothering to shower first. I’ll shower with her.

  “Tilly?” I yell, walking into her house without knocking.

  “I’m up here,” she says from her room. I take the stairs two at a time to get to her as fast as I can. Man, I’ve missed her.

  Once I’m standing in her doorway, I pause to take her in. She’s on her bed, glasses on, hair piled on her head, legs bare and only wearing a tank and underwear.

  She smirks when she sees my eyes scanning over her. Crooking a finger, she beckons me to her. I lose my boots and shirt by the time I’m standing in front of her on her knees on the bed before me.

  “I’ve missed you,” I tell her right before my lips find hers. I pull back from kissing her sooner than I’d like, but I know I need a shower. “Come shower with me.”

  “You do stink,” she agrees with a scrunched nose.

  I smack her ass and grip the cheek in my hand, pulling her into me further. “Better watch it or I’ll dirty you before I clean up.”

  “That doesn’t sound terrible,” she says, pulling off her shirt. Her hands go to my belt next, and in seconds, her hands are on me and my pants are down around my thighs.

  She smiles up at me with mischief and then dips her head to suck me into her mouth. I let out a growl and close my eyes at how good it feels to have her lips around me. I should pull back and clean up before letting her do this after a day at work. But then again, she started it, and who am I to deny her what she wants?

  Her mouth sinks further down my cock, and it has me on edge. “Fuck, Cookie,” I groan as my fingers go into her hair. I’m already getting close, but I don’t want to come this way. I pull from her mouth and step out of my pants. “You are a dirty girl,” I tell her when I see the wet spot on her underwear between her legs.

  “Take ‘em off and come ride me,” I insist, climbing on the bed next to her. I’m running a hand up and down my shaft when she straddles me, edging up my legs. She takes my hand from my cock and puts it on her breast. We both groan together when she sinks down on me. Messaging her pretty tits with my hands, I roll and pinch her pink nipples between my fingers, turning her on more.

  Her back arches when she braces her hands behind her on my thighs, sliding up and down on me. I press my thumb to her bundle of nerves, and it makes her detonate in pleasure. Before she’s fully come off her high, I have her flipped to her back, thrusting in and out of her in rapid speed, chasing my own release. Seconds later, it hits like a streak of lightning up my spine.

  Falling next to her on the bed, I turn to look at her, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Hi.”

  She laughs before answering back. “Hi. How was your day?”

  “It was alright, but it ended spectacularly.” I smirk, giving her another kiss. “Come on, now I really need a shower and so do you.”

  “You saying I smell bad?” she sasses but stands to walk to the bathroom.

  “You smell like a delicious mix of sugar and sex and me,” I tell her, kissing her once again because it’s never enough once I start.

  Tilly and I spend the night cuddling and watching a movie after dinner. It shows me how much I really have missed spending time with her and it was more than just about the sex. I missed seeing her.

  We fall asleep together, and it feels like what’s been missing in my life for too long. It may have only been a month since we did this last, but tonight, it feels like more. She’s been here all along, yet I’m just now realizing how much I’ve needed her this entire time.

  Chapter 18

  Travis

  Seventeen Years After Josie

  Today is one of those days when I’m lost in my memories and in my head. Thinking about the early days with Josie when we’d laugh and laugh until our stomachs hurt. Or Penny when she was little, dragging that stuffed pig around with her. The first time she asked me where her momma went and I had no idea how to explain it to her. Dancing with her at the pond as we talked about Josie. The first time she changed the oil in a car by herself or how excited she was the first time she rebuilt an engine. Seeing her light up when Jesse would enter the garage. Hearing them laugh through her bedroom door late at night, but ignoring it, knowing it was what they both needed.

  So many things. Yet, in it all, I see Tilly always in the background. Baking cookies, helping with holiday meals, showing my daughter the girlie things I had no idea about when Tatum was gone, or being there to talk to when I needed it.

  I don’t know what I’d have done all these years had she not been there. Had she not moved in next door, disrupting the peaceful life I thought I wanted alone with my LP.

  “Hey,” Tilly’s voice pulls me from the thoughts I’m drowning in tonight.

  Smiling, I turn my head toward her. “Hey.”

  “I made you your favorite,” she says, handing me a plateful of her signature cookies. The ones she made for us when she first moved in.

  I look up at her face, soft and serene in the light of the night sky, her curls framing her big brown eyes that shine from her smile.

  Standing up, I lock eyes with her, sliding my fingers into her soft curls. “I love you, Tilly.” The words whisper across her lips before I kiss her as soft and sweet as the feelings I have for her.

  “Travis,” she gasps into my mouth, letting me absorb her surprise to show her it’s true.

  Pulling back, I rest my forehead against hers. “It’s true, Cookie. I love you. I know it’s taken me longer than it should have to admit it, to say it, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”

  “I love you, too,” she says so quietly I almost miss it.

  “Thank you for being so patient with me.”

  “When you love someone, you wait as long as it takes.”

  My smile grows looking into her beautiful face. The face of the woman I love. The one that I’m ready to commit to.

  “I want to be with you. Really with you, but I’m still so damn scared,” I admit to her.

  “We don’t have to go public yet. We’ve been pretty good at this sneaking around stuff for a while now, Travis. In fact, it’s kind of arousing at times.” She smirks at me. “We can wait to tell everyone if you want. When it’s right, we’ll know. Until then, I’m happy just knowing that you love me.” She wraps her arms around my middle, looking up at me.

  “I don’t know what I did to deserve having you dropped into my
life, but thank you for not pushing and being exactly what I need.”

  She pecks my lips and steps back. “Now, I need to go finish some things for work—I’m designing a wedding cake for a couple—but I’m glad we got this all sorted. I knew you’d come around,” she chuckles, swaying her hips as she walks back to her house.

  I release a growl and stalk to her, pulling her back to my front and kissing the space between her neck and shoulder. “I love you,” I say again into her ear, making her hum before I swat her ass and pull away. “Night, Cookie.”

  Heading inside, I decide it’s time to read one of the few letters I have left. One I’ve been pondering all week. “You Fell In Love Again” stares back at me written in my wife’s handwriting. I rub my chest where it aches from this realization, the truth from those words. I will always love Josie, but it’s alright for me to love Tilly too.

  Letting out a nervous breath, I open the letter.

  Travis,

  Are you happy, Trav? That is all that matters to me in this whole world. I want nothing but happiness for you and my children.

  You did what I told you to do last night at the pond where we danced in the snow. You opened your heart to another. Feeling your love is unlike anything else. Your love is loyal and strong, fierce and passionate, sweet and soft, and something that you don’t give to others easily.

  I’m glad you found another to share that special love with. Love her more than you loved me. Love her like she’s already gone. Love her with every beat of your heart and then some. Love her for always and forever. Love her for eternity.

  That’s how I love you, and it has been the best thing I ever did.

  Always,

  Josie

  I let out another shaky breath as tears sting my eyes. This woman who I loved so unconditionally and wholly is giving me the freedom to let go and love another more than I loved her. I don’t even know if it’s possible, but I’ll try.

  The love I feel for Tilly is big and strong and growing. Having admitted it not only to her but to myself, as well, has only made it that much more. She found her way into my heart when I thought I had it locked up, and now I feel it beat again. I feel it beat for her.

  I feel my heart yearn for my pretty girl, but it seeks out my cookie. Both great and consuming. Both saving me in different ways, fueling me in life and love. Josie has been my world for a long time, but Tilly is my now and my future.

  TILLY

  Minutes After Travis Told Me He Loved Me

  I thought my heart was going to burst through my chest hearing those three words, eight letters, from Travis. I’ve waited for what seems like a lifetime to hear him say it and feel it. Those words washed over me and made me feel anew. I couldn’t stay outside with him any longer, needing time to let it all soak in.

  A sob of joy bubbles out of me when I reach the sanctuary of my kitchen. My whole being feels fuzzy and free and floating with his words circling around in my head.

  “Travis loves me,” I whisper into the empty space around me.

  I never thought I’d be loved by a man again. I never thought I’d find happiness in life again. I never thought I’d get to raise a child and see them grow. But here I am, having raised Jesse and seeing him become a man who I’m proud to call my own. Here I am, loving a caring man and having him return the same love to me. Here I am, with happiness surrounding me.

  I’ve been given a second chance at everything I thought I’d lost and didn’t deserve. I see now that we can all be given forgiveness and second chances. Our pasts don’t define us. Our pasts help make us who we become. Who we become and what we do with our past hurts is up to us.

  I can’t wait to see what the future looks like with Travis. To grow old with him. To let our love continue to grow. That seems like total happiness to me.

  TRAVIS

  “What’s got you so happy over there?” Penny asks me while we work on different ends of the car that was brought into Pretty Girl yesterday.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell her, biting back my smile.

  “Whatever,” she grumbles. She’s been in a constant bad mood since Jesse left after his last visit for the holidays.

  “You and Jess still good?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” she sighs. “I just hate the distance. Our schedules keep changing and it’s hard to talk.”

  “Sorry, LP. You two will figure it out. It just takes time,” I tell her, thinking about how long it took Tilly and me to figure out our shit.

  “Are you and Tilly like, I don’t know, doing stuff?” she asks without actually asking, and I begin to panic, not ready to have this conversation.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Tate just made a comment when everyone was in that you two were together. I just figured you’d tell me if you were, right?”

  “Uh huh.” I lie to my daughter for the first time because I feel like a kid in trouble and hate that I’m choosing not to tell her the truth instead of coming clean. It just doesn’t feel right. I’ll probably regret this later, but for now, I think it’s for the best.

  “Alright. I just want you happy, Dad. Whatever has you looking all happy today, keep doing that,” she laughs.

  “And what about you? You gonna go see Jesse sometime soon?”

  “I don’t know.” She stands up straight from where she was bent over the car. “I want to, but it just seems different.”

  “You aren’t kids anymore, Pen. You can’t just sneak into each other’s windows. You have to put in effort to make a relationship work. And trust me, they do take work.”

  “Yeah…” she sighs again.

  I think I might need to call Jesse and set something up without LP knowing. I make a mental note to call him later and try to work out when I can surprise her and send her out to see him. Those two need a little push.

  Chapter 19

  Travis

  Eighteen Years After Josie

  Tilly’s laugh ignites a joy in me that I can’t get enough of. I tickle her sides until she can hardly breathe. These are my favorite times, when we act like we’re teenagers and not the mid-forty-year-olds we are. I toss her over my shoulder, fireman style, and carry her up to my room, throwing her on the bed with a bounce.

  “What about Penny?” she asks as I strip off my shirt and start for her.

  “Her flight isn’t due for another hour. Besides, I’m sure she’ll be tired and go to their place before coming here,” I assure her. “Now, stop making excuses and strip, woman.”

  Penny left a few days ago for Vegas to see Jesse. We all agreed that they needed the time together, and between Jess and me, we surprised her with a flight out to see him.

  Since she’s been gone, Tilly and I have played house, staying over and enjoying our uninterrupted time together. I’m not ashamed to admit I’ll miss waking up next to her.

  “Dad!” The voice of Penny yelling from downstairs wakes me. Confused, I rub my eyes awake and then take in Tilly’s naked body next to mine in bed. Shit!

  “Tilly, baby, wake up. Penny’s here.” I shake her awake in a panic.

  “Dad!” Penny yells again, and this time Tilly’s eyes go wide, meeting mine.

  “I know. This is going to look bad, Cookie.”

  A laugh bubbles out of her, and I fight my own smile. “Guess it’s time,” I tell her, leaving a quick kiss on her lips. Tilly walks out first, still buttoning her shirt, and I hear Penny say her name questioning why she’s here.

  “LP…” I start, but Penny starts to laugh. Uncontrollably laughing as she looks back and forth between the two of us and I’m not sure what to make of her reaction. “Penny, it’s not what you think,” I continue, walking to where she is, which makes her laugh harder.

  She is barely able to breathe but manages to speak. “No, Dad, I think it’s exactly what it looks like. You two are sleeping together.”

  My eyes dart to Tilly, who still hasn’t moved, unsure what I want her to say or do. “Can we sit down and
talk about things?” I ask.

  Tilly starts to walk toward us but pauses, her hand covering her mouth. Penny smiles and nods to her. “That’s why I stopped by.” LP looks to me then. “Jesse asked me to marry him.”

  “It’s been fourteen years in the making,” I tell her, pulling her in for a hug, my heart feeling full. “Congratulations, baby girl,” I whisper in her ear, using the name Josie used to call her.

  “Thanks, Dad,” she tells me, then stops, looking at me with a quizzical look. “And how many years in the making has this been?”

  “Probably just as long,” I nervously tell her.

  “I’ll go put on a pot of coffee,” Tilly says, walking to the kitchen. I catch her eye on her way out of the room and give her a wink and reassuring smile.

  Penny and I sit down in the living room. “How long?” she asks me with a calm smile, and I know everything will be alright.

  “How long for which part?” I ask her, rubbing the back of my neck, still a little nervous about this impending conversation.

  “What does that mean?” she asks. confused.

  “I think we’ve both been attracted to each other since the day she moved in next door,” I admit with a smile pulling at my lips.

  “Go on…” she pushes.

  “Much like you and Jesse, Tilly and I have been friends through all these years. I fought through a lot of my own grief over your mom and confusion for my growing feelings for Tilly, but I love her, LP,” I admit, not wanting to look at her face yet.

  “If you’re happy, Daddy, I’m happy,” she tells me, and I look up then to see tears shining in my little girl’s eyes.

  “Thank you,” I tell her, pulling her into another hug. “So…” I pull back then. “My little girl is getting married, huh? You moving to Vegas?”