Prime Choice

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  I jabbed him with the back of my hand. “What do you mean, I’m scared to have fun? Say what you gotta say.”

  Justin mouthed, okay. “Amandi’s telling everybody that you wouldn’t go there with her. I don’t need to fill in the blanks, do I, Perry? Dang, what’s up? The word’s out you’re a virgin.”

  He grabbed my shoulder like I was in crisis mode or something. I jerked my body away from his grasp, not needing consoling. I walked straight on to class. The snickers and the whispers got louder and louder.

  I wish somebody would step to me, I thought to myself as I turned and gave everybody a mean glare.

  They was talking ’bout me over to the side in their little cliques and crews, but ain’t have no guts to say nothing to my face. I held my head up high and kept moving. But now at least I knew what Amandi meant by threats. She got me that time. I didn’t have to acknowledge what was going on. Let people think what they wanna think.

  Walking along, I prayed. “Lord, I know I don’t talk to You much, but this just don’t seem comfortable, people speaking bad things about me and all. Please help a brother stay strong, that’s all. Amen.”

  I knew I was going to have to pray more often because nobody’s comments or actions got to me anymore that day. It was trip, though! I went on ’bout my business, cracked a few jokes, spoke to people here and there, and was my usual self. When I didn’t buy into the mess, life was cool.

  A couple of people actually came to me and said that they agreed with my choice. I wasn’t going to say I wanted to stay pure, but I did know that ever since I turned my stress over to God, I was mentally able to handle anything that came my way. That was important.

  After practice when I stepped off the football field, Amandi was waiting by the gate. I just kept on walking. Then I felt somebody push me in the back. It was Marlon.

  He said, “What’s up, Perry? You can’t even talk to the chick? Dang, maybe she right. You is scared of her. All of us around, we ain’t gon’ let her bite you.”

  It took all the strength I had not to knock his crooked, yellow teeth out. When I noticed how all the football players were checking out my reaction I knew I needed to respond. But Marlon got nothing from me.

  I turned to Amandi and said, “You wanted to say something?”

  With watery eyes she said, “I just wanna apologize. I know you heard that I had been saying some stuff.”

  “You talking about the rumors you spreading on me? You think I’m affected by that?”

  “I know you’re not, baby. I just wanted to get your attention.”

  “Look, I told you the other night at your cousin’s house that we tried it, and it wasn’t working for me. But if spreading lies and saying whatever about me makes you feel better, that’s on you. Don’t think that me hearing this stuff is going to make me wanna get with you again. I had empathy for you when I was at your house, or whoever’s house we was at. But right now, I don’t care. Take it however you want, but leave me alone.”

  I walked away, and she was clearly devastated. The guys started laughing around me and that wasn’t my intent, either. I wasn’t trying to embarrass her, but honestly, it wasn’t like I really cared if she was hurt. That’s what she gets for trying to play me.

  “Man, man, man. You ain’t gon’ like this,” Damarius said as he came up to me before practice the next day.

  “What’s up, man? What’s wrong? Somebody done spread another rumor on me, huh?” I joked.

  “It ain’t about you, dog. But you will care.”

  Putting on my cleats, I turned and said, “What you talking about?”

  “It’s Tori.” Damarius paused before saying more. “Word’s out she and Marlon ...”

  He didn’t even have to say more. The way he looked at me seemed like something naughty was going on between them. I just shook my head, letting him know that I didn’t believe that.

  “I’m serious, dog. You know I wouldn’t come to you with no junk.”

  I knew Tori told me a couple of days ago that she was moving on but there was no way in the world that she would quickly give up her beliefs for that chump. I kept getting dressed for practice. My boy thought I should be tore up, I guess.

  So I said, “Why do people always try to rattle me? Try to get under my skin? Try to make me believe stuff I know is impossible. Last time I checked, two plus two does not equal three. I don’t believe what you’re saying.”

  “All right, fine,” Damarius said as he grabbed his helmet.

  “Marlon himself told me, and he was way too explicit with it. He told me he was gon’ talk to you about it. I told you because I don’t want you to lose it out there on the football field. I mean, we got a big game this weekend and we can’t afford to get sidetracked. Our two receivers gotta be in sync.”

  “I don’t catch any balls from him,” I said angrily. “And I wish he would come to me talking some mess about him and Tori. Might as well get smacked down. Contrary to what anybody thinks, I ain’t no punk. I don’t have time to play games with him or you. I mean, come on, D! You my buddy, squash some stuff for me. Have my back. Why I gotta handle your business and mine? Can’t you pull your own weight sometimes?”

  After I angrily said those words and opened the locker room door, I wished I could take it back. I wished I hadn’t said what I said to my friend. But dang! He liked drama like a female. And I wasn’t about all the negativity.

  Everybody was warming up on their own. As soon as I squatted down to stretch, Marlon came over, whispering in my left ear. “I could tell you some stuff about Tori that would blow your virgin mind.”

  It was on then. I took off my shoulder pads and shoved him straight into the ground. I was about to jump on him and pound his nose in so hard that it’d be worse than broken when I was finished with it. But someone stepped in between us.

  I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even know who it was until Damarius pushed me back and said, “All right, man, I was trying to tell you. He’s crazy. Don’t give me credit, but I do have your back. I done already got you taken to the office once with the cheating thing, now be sensible. If you think it ain’t happen with him and Tori, let it go. Make it seem like it doesn’t matter.”

  Everything Damarius was saying made complete sense. That’s exactly what I was thinking earlier. Why did I stand so hot and bothered, acting like a maniac on Marlon?

  Coach Robinson came on the field and said, “What’s going on here? Boys, get yo behinds up and stretch. Now the whole team gotta do more laps ’cause of y’all foolishness. Now you get to do some suicides and extra laps ’cause of somebody else’s mistake, and it’s about daggone time that you run some laps for me, anyway. Football is a team sport.”

  When we got off the field, it was another scene that stopped me dead in my tracks. Tori was standing there oohing and cooing over Marlon. He ran straight up to her and kissed her in front of the whole team. I just walked right past them, couldn’t even look at them.

  “Oh, so you see it’s true, now, huh? She left you for me.” Marlon said, trying to rattle me up again.

  It worked, but I didn’t let him know. His words got to me, but what the heck could I do? Truthfully, I didn’t want her. So if she wanted Marlon, why should I care?

  “Son, can I talk to you for a minute?” my dad asked when I came into the house.

  I was still on shaky ground with him. I didn’t wanna answer his question. I felt like just making up some flaky lie ’bout me being busy. But the urgency in his voice seemed like something was going on, so I sat down at the kitchen table with him and uncovered the dish my mom left out for me.

  “You didn’t wash your hands,” my dad said as if I needed his parenting.

  “Just came from football practice, Dad. Just took a shower, I’m straight. What’s up?” I was aggravated then.

  “Son, I don’t want what you saw the other day to come between us. Your mom and I are having some serious problems, and what you walked in on wasn’t planned. It was
n’t ongoing and nothing has happened.”

  “If that makes you feel better to tell me that, Dad, then cool. Anything else?”

  “Come on, Son. Don’t play me like that.”

  “What’s wrong, Dad? You think I’m just supposed to forget seeing you with your arms wrapped around another woman? I haven’t, and I won’t. You told Mama yet?” I asked him boldly.

  He sat up in the chair sorta fidgeting.

  “I thought you wanted to talk man to man. I can ask you whatever I want, right?” I knew I had him on the fence.

  “Seeing that you asked that question, I can tell you that I haven’t told your momma yet.”

  Then I was the one that started fidgeting. I looked down at my food and went over to warm it in the microwave. Why’d he throw this back on me?

  “Why haven’t you told your mom yet, Son?”

  “As you been saying all along, Dad,” I said without looking at him, “I need to stay out of grown folks’ business. That was a bed you made, I’ll let you lie in it. This ain’t no Monopoly game. You don’t have any ‘Get out of jail free’ cards. I do expect you to deal with this.”

  “Come on, now. You know your mom don’t need to know this, I don’t wanna hurt her.”

  “Dad, Mom ain’t no dummy. She already knows something is up with you,” I said as I grabbed my plate out the microwave and sat back down again.

  I just wished the conversation was already over. I don’t know why I was going down one way and my dad was going down the other and we couldn’t seem to walk together. Be on the same page. Be on one cord. And it was frustrating.

  “You know your dad’s not perfect, and I already told you that nothing got started with her. It’s over.”

  “Naw, I just want you to think about this. You already told me to treat ladies right, like I wanted somebody to treat my sister. I’m making a few mistakes here and there, but for the most part your example ain’t making it easier.”

  “Oh, come on, Son. That ain’t fair.”

  “I’m just saying, Dad. Let’s be real with it. The way you treating Mom is how you want Payton’s husband to treat her one day? They go through hard times, go through something a lil’ tough ... It’s cool if her man steps out, right? That’s what you want for your daughter?”

  Holding his head down he said, “You know that’s not what I want.”

  “Well, don’t set rules for me that you can’t even abide by yourself.”

  “This is a ‘do as I say’ not ‘do as I do’ relationship that you and I have.” He looked at me like he was the man.

  “A deacon of the church,” I said as I got up and walked away from the table, showing him I was a man, too.

  My dad didn’t stop me. Wise move. He knew we both needed space.

  Two days later, I came home and found my mom packing. She was crying and screaming while my dad was trying to take stuff away from her and put it back in the drawers. It was pandemonium in there.

  “What’s going on?” I quickly asked, wishing I didn’t have to interfere in their relationship.

  “Your dad’s having an affair with his secretary, Junior! Did you know that?”

  I couldn’t believe my mom actually told me that. I just stood there, choking. I didn’t know what to do.

  My dad tried to block my view. “Pat, don’t put that boy into this. Son, go on. Your mom and I are fine.”

  “No, we’re not. We’re gonna be separated in a minute. I’m going to a hotel,” my mother said as she headed out the door with some clothes hanging out her bulging suitcase.

  I took it from her. “Mom, Mom. You always told me I can’t run away from problems. I ain’t saying what he did or didn’t do, I’m just saying y’all got something special, so don’t go throwing it away and all. You know he loves his family.”

  “But he doesn’t love me anymore!” she said as she fell into my arms.

  My dad stood right behind her and touched her shoulder. “I do love you, baby. Maybe we can’t be together right now. Maybe you’re not the one that needs to leave. Maybe I do.”

  My mom just cried harder and dropped the suitcase to the ground. I held on to her tight, looking at my dad with accusing eyes. Eyes that were so angry with him and disappointed in his leadership. Sorta thinking that he wasn’t ready to have my mom back in the first place.

  However, I knew deep down inside that the last thing I wanted to hear him say was he wanted to move out. Sometimes people are better off not together. I knew that ever since Tori got all crazy on me. We’d grown apart.

  “Go cool off, Dad,” I said. “Don’t nobody need to do nothing hasty right now, neither you nor Mom.”

  He patted me on the shoulder, squeezed between our embrace, grabbed his keys and headed out. My mom continued crying. I never had to console her like that. Even a couple of weeks ago when I caught her crying she told me that she was fine.

  My embrace was what she needed right now to keep her up. I was going nowhere. I wanted my folks to stay together. But if my pops left her, she’d always have me. I had to stay strong.

  Weeping she said, “Thank you, baby. I know it’s hard for you, Son, to be hearing this tough stuff.”

  11

  Winning the Crown

  “You guys getting all dressed up for this homecoming dance like it’s something major!” I said to my boys as we changed in the locker room after winning another game.

  “You know a brotha just like to get clean every now and then,” Damarius said as he spun around trying to show off his black pin-striped suit.

  Cole came up to me and asked, “You going to the dance, right, Perry? You know I wouldn’t want you to be bummed out about people talking about you and Amandi.”

  “Man, forget about it. That’s old.” I looked at my blue suit that I had brought just in case.

  Damarius muttered, “You didn’t wanna get with her, anyway. She probably got something.”

  I took my towel and popped him with it across the head. “Boy, you one to talk. I’m going to the dance. I’m just mad that I didn’t get both of y’all to join the Beautillion. Talkin’ about men cleaning up nice ...”

  Damarius took his collar and turned it up all the way. He spun around like he was fly, put on some dark shades, rolled one pants leg up to his knee and left the other one long. He was so crazy.

  “You don’t think they’ll let me in the Beautillion with this getup on, do ya?” he teased.

  “Naw, brah, you can’t wear the tux like that.”

  “That’s what I’m saying. Here at homecoming, I get to sport my tux just the way I like it.”

  “I hear ya.”

  Cole asked, “I look okay for real?”

  We both nodded. The big boy was stepping in his fly coat with long tails. He had even put on cologne. For Cole that was a big deal.

  I couldn’t believe two weeks had gone by since I had had so much turmoil in my life. Seeing Tori with Marlon was definitely a lot to take. Having rumors spread all around the school wasn’t cool, either, and having my mom leap into my arms because of heartbreak took a piece of my heart out.

  My folks still hadn’t worked out all their drama. They didn’t think I knew that they now slept in separate bedrooms, but I knew. Although at least with both of them under the same roof, there was some hope.

  When I got to the party I stood just observing people, and I was content. I didn’t have to dance or be cooped up with a girl. I was actually having a good time seeing everyone enjoy themselves.

  Then my eyes skimmed and saw Marlon laughing and huffing in some girl’s face. And before my eyes could roam away, I glanced back at him and realized that the girl he was talking to wasn’t Tori. What was up with that? Or did I even have to ask? Soon as she let her guard down and got close to that loser, he took advantage of her and went on to conquer more.

  Before I could even spend more energy focusing on Tori, Damarius and Cole found me.

  “Come on, boy. It’s time to get crowned,” Cole said as he hit me.<
br />
  “Man, please,” I said, “I don’t have this.”

  Damarius mouthed off, “Yeah, I could have been homecoming king, but I told folks to vote for my boy.”

  “D, that won’t help the way people been talking about me. My name’s been mud around here,” I said, not caring either way.

  “Trust me, dog, you won.” Damarius looked real serious.

  I wasn’t really listening when they announced the ninth-grade and tenth-grade court. However, when they announced the eleventh-grade court, I was ready to hear Tori’s name, but I didn’t. It was another girl, the same chick that I saw with Marlon earlier. And when he won eleventh-grade prince, the two of them made a passionate statement before the crowd.

  Then the announcer declared that Amandi and I won homecoming king and queen. At first I thought it must’ve been a joke. I didn’t even wanna go up on the stage, but I did. I sure wasn’t gonna dance with her. She needed no ideas from me that I thought she had it going on.

  So when the princesses and princes for the underclassmen got in the middle of the dance floor to dance and they called for the king and queen to join in, I motioned for Damarius to wear my crown and walk Amandi down there. Amandi looked like her plans had been ruined. Then I saw Tori move expeditiously through the crowd. Something was telling me she wasn’t all right.

  Instinctively, I followed her. Indirectly, I did feel sorta responsible. Trying desperately to get with Marlon was such a down move on her part. How could she possibly care for him?

  She turned around and said, “What do you want, Perry? What are you doing following me? Just leave me alone, okay!”

  “I’m really concerned about you.”

  “I finally realized I made a bad choice and now I have to suffer the consequences,” she responded in tears.

  I wanted to ask her a personal question, like how far did she go with Marlon? But by looking at her devastated face, I didn’t need to ask the obvious.