Conna in Crisis & The Marriage of Ulick

by James Kilcullen

  Moxy jumped up.

  ‘Mi Lady, I object.’

  She looked down at Ulick.

  ‘May I ask why you need an adjournment?’

  Ulick rose. ‘Mi Lady, may I crave your indulgence; this is a very complicated case that raises issues of a constitutional nature. I have a long list of witnesses, so long that I haven’t yet been able to see all of them.’

  Nodie thought to herself; he’s throwing straw in the wind in the hopes of confusing the opposition.

  She looked down at him. ‘Mr Joyc, I’ll adjourn for two weeks, but you had better be ready to proceed then.’

  ‘Thank you, Mi Lady.’

  Moxy didn’t like it, but thought the better of antagonising the judge. He went to the Weir Hotel nearby and rang Michael Havlec in London.

  ‘He’s up to something, Mr Havlec.’

  Havlec put down the phone. If these bastards in Hi-Brazil think they’re going to shaft Michael Havlec they’d better think again.

  *

  Dandaboy and Setanta arrived together in Nodie’s back garden where she was relaxing while John played ball. Setanta snuggled up to her. John stopped in front of Dandaboy.

  ‘Hello, funny little man,’ he grinned.

  He put his index finger on his chest. ‘Me little man; one day, you big man.’

  ‘Do another trick for me.’

  He put his hand on Setanta who promptly disappeared.

  ‘Where is he?’

  He took away his hand and Setanta reappeared.

  Nodie laughed turning to her son. ‘Who is this?’

  He paused looking puzzled.

  ‘This is Dan-da-boy. Say it after me, Dan-da-boy.’

  He took a deep breath. ‘Dan-da.’

  ‘Let’s make up a song to help you remember.’

  She paused for a moment and then began.

  ‘Oh Dandaboy—Oh Dandaboy—why are you so small?

  Oh Dandaboy—Oh Dandaboy—why are you so tall?’

  ‘That funny, mum. Do it again.’

  ‘You sing with me, you too Dandaboy.’

  Setanta wasn’t prepared to be left out.

  ‘I sing too.’

  ‘Now,’ Nodie began, taking John in her arms.

  Setanta barked out the words as best he could; it sounded like he was crunching gravel.

  John, getting in on the act, clapped his hands for joy. ‘Again.’

  ‘Right,’ Nodie looked quizzically at Setanta.

  Dandaboy quipped to him. ‘Not you, this time.’

  He was disappointed, but he got the message.

  Later, Nodie shared a packet of biscuits with John and Setanta; Dandaboy passed. She stood up. ‘I’m going to get some milk.’ She paused. ‘I hear Setanta has been drinking pints down in Paulo’s.’ She looked at Dandaboy. ‘Will I give him a bottle of porter?’

  Setanta nodded vigorously; Dandaboy shook his head.

  ‘No, Nodie. I might have to carry him home.’

  ‘Spoilsport.’ he gritted.

  *

  Annie Clarke entered Ulick’s office one morning with a file in her hand.

  ‘Ulick,’ she smiled graciously. ‘I’m going to put the McDonagh case down for hearing in the High Court; will you lead on it?’

  Having lost the Harny case he had little appetite for the High Court.

  ‘I thought that was settled.’

  Setanta raised his head to hear better.

  ‘The settlement fell through.’

  ‘Very well, let me know when you get a date.’

  She smiled and departed.

  Setanta growled quietly to himself; I’ll have to talk to DanO and see what we can do.

  *

  Joss Ryan was becoming more and more impatient; there were no reports of unusual activity from his operatives around the world. After the departure of the Chinese and Russian ships from Hi-Brazil waters, Eddy Soames reported that two spies had moved into the Turla Lodge Hotel. What were they up to? Someone had the plans. It was clear now that John Yang sold out. He ordered Eddy Soames to keep an eye on those people.

  Another email arrived for him via Iceland. It read: “You may now have the plans for $100 million. If and when this sum is lodged to the specified account, we will tell you where you may accept delivery. If we do not hear from you, the plans will be offered to the Chinese and Russians.” That explained the Russian and Chinese presence in Turla.

  He couldn’t contact these bastards; if he could, he would have them traced, take the plans and wipe them out. He couldn’t let the Chinese or the Russians have the plans either. The chances of recovering the missile weren’t good. Shit. He would have to consult the President; this decision couldn’t be his alone.

  *

  In Turla Madame Lin and Boris were looking at similar messages. They tried to trace the sender. All Brother Eoin could tell them was that they were delivered by a courier firm from Galway. Retiring to their rooms, they rang their superiors for instructions. Eddy was aware that something was going on, but had no idea what it was. His Director hadn’t seen fit to advise him. Judith sat by the lake reading her book.

  *

  In the crowded courtroom, the Oko oil case finally commenced before Supreme Court Justice Ms Nodie Morris. The TV and newspapers were full of it with particular emphasis on the dire consequences if the Achill people lost again. Ulick had already made it clear that he would not be charging for his services, but that was the least of his worries.

  Moxy opened the case against the people of Achill.

  ‘Mi Lady, I’m putting in evidence the documented concession issued to my clients, which authorised them to explore for oil in the areas A5 to A9 as indicated on the attached map. In the event of a successful bore and it has been successful, my clients are authorised to pump oil to a specially constructed refinery on Achill Island. This, as you will appreciate, is a contract between my clients and the lawful governing authority of the area: then the Republic of Ireland: now the state of Hi-Brazil. It’s a clear cut simple situation which should not take up much of the court’s time.’

  He sat down.

  ‘Thank you, Mr O’Shea,’ the justice nodded. ‘You may call your first witness.’

  Moxy rose. ‘Mi Lady, I don’t propose to call any witnesses.’ He handed a copy of the Concession to the court clerk. ‘My client’s contract is clear, undeniable and irrefutable.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr O’Shea.’

  She looked to Ulick.

  ‘Mr Joyc.’

  Ulick rose.

  ‘Mi Lady, my clients contest the legality of this contract on three grounds. Number 1. The state of Hi-Brazil cannot be bound by an agreement entered into by another state. 2. I will prove that the ecological risks to our marine and wild life would be so extensive as to render this kind of activity detrimental to our environment. 3. and finally, every contract has to have balance and equity; this one, which would give this state a miserable 1% royalty, is the most ridiculous I have ever encountered. Therefore, I ask that this court rule in favour of my clients.’

  He sat down to applause from the gallery.

  ‘Thank you, Mr Joyc. May I see your list of witnesses?’

  He took a list out of his briefcase, handed a copy to the court clerk and a copy to Moxy.

  She studied it closely.

  Moxy jumped up. ‘Objection, Mi Lady, this is madness, there must be a hundred names here; it’s totally irrelevant. We’ll be here until Christmas.’

  Nodie’s thoughts were similar to Moxy’s; what’s Ulick up to? He has to know he has no case. Is he just dragging it out in the hopes that Oko will do a deal.

  She looked down at the red faced Moxy.

  ‘Mr O’Shea, I’m over ruling your objection. The people of Achill have a right to be heard in full; we will proceed with this list.’

  She looked down at Ulick. ‘Mr Joyc, call your first witness.’

  *

  Michael Havlec was becoming more and more frustrated; the case was in its third week a
nd, so far, only eight of Joyc’s witnesses had given evidence. This was fucking ridiculous; the same environmental prattle from each of them; totally irrelevant. The judge must be stupid, although Moxy O’Shea said she wasn’t, but he didn’t trust Joyc, convinced he was up to something but couldn’t figure out what it was. It was an open and shut case. It could go on for months. Two of his directors wanted him to settle; he was damned if he would let the bastards beat him. He didn’t trust Moxy either.

  *

  Annie Clarke had it all worked out; another night with Ulick in the Ardilaun. It was well time he asked her to move in with him. One morning he invited her into his office. Setanta put his head up and stared at her. She ignored him. Dandaboy was still trying to find some way of keeping Ulick out of the hotel in Galway.

  ‘Annie,’ Ulick began, ‘I won’t be able to take the O’Flaherty case; you’ll have to do it yourself.’

  ‘Why, Ulick?’ she asked smiling.

  ‘I have to give all my time to the Oko case.’

  ‘Pity,’ she pouted, ‘I was planning to show you some brochures for our honeymoon.’

  ‘Later,’ he responded quietly.

  She departed. Setanta breathed a sigh of relief.

  Ulick sat there for some time. He was trapped and he knew it; he couldn’t walk away from his own child. Putting aside his gloomy thoughts, he left to attend the day’s hearing in Galway. That didn’t help. The case was grinding on at a snails pace; the local papers were beginning to question his tactics. Nodie was puzzled but prepared to let it run; Moxy was hoarse from shouting “Objection, Mi Lady.” Ulick maintained his usual bluff confident exterior despite his misgivings.

  *

  The search continued. It looked as if the only location left was Lough Corrib, the country’s largest lake. A cruiser was hired in Maam Bridge; it began to criss cross the lake in a systematic manner. A fit looking middle aged man, Herb was no sailor. He was becoming increasingly impatient that they hadn’t yet found this damned object. He was given very little information; his boss called it a long tubular device.

  ‘Any luck, Herb?’ Jake asked.

  ‘Not so far,’ he grunted. ‘How long are we going to keep up this wild goose chase?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Why should he be helpful?

  ‘I wish I knew why it’s so damned important.’

  He smiled grimly. ‘Sorry, I’m not allowed to tell you, but it’s vital we find it first.’

  *

  Returning home after another long boring day in court, Nodie was looking forward to a nice cup of tea and a look at the papers. The case was in its tenth week and Ulick was only half way through his list of witnesses; she had long since concluded he was stalling; he certainly had no case and Moxy was ready to blow a gasket. It was a pity; she sympathised with the big lovable blunt Connemara man who just didn’t know when to give in.

  She pushed in the door idly; then stopped short. Little John didn’t come running to welcome her home as he always did. She opened the living room door and screamed; Ester was lying on the couch, bound and gagged, her eyes wild with fear. Nodie removed the gag.

  ‘They’ve taken little John,’ she gasped.

  Nodie couldn’t take this in; why would anyone take her little boy?

  ‘Who? When?’ she gasped.

  ‘Two men, about an hour ago; pushed in the door, tied me up and took John; I heard a car pulling away.’

  Nodie put her head in her hands; tears ran down her face.

  ‘Oh my poor little boy; he’ll be terrified. What are we going to do?’

  ‘I think you should ring Ulick; he’ll know what to do.’

  Ulick came immediately; took Nodie in his arms and comforted her. He rang Frankie who left immediately for Conna with Chief Superintendent, Tom Lally. In the meantime, Ester picked up an envelope left inside the front door. Nodie opened it. It read “If you hope to see your son alive again, find in favour of the oil company.”

  ‘Oh my god.’

  Frankie and the Super arrived shortly afterwards. While he comforted Nodie, the super questioned Ester. How long since the abduction? An hour. He rang his HQ and ordered that road blocks be set up on all roads, sixty miles from Conna. The armed response unit was alerted, with instructions to act only as back up to the guards. Little John’s safety was paramount.

  If the road blocks produced no results, it would be reasonable to assume the thugs were within the cordon; they would start closing it slowly, carrying out house to house searches, questioning strangers. Helicopters were ordered to fly over remote areas and direct ground forces to inspect isolated properties. Sergeant Muldoon started talking to the locals. Had anyone seen the car or the men? What kind of car was it? Could anyone describe the thugs?

  Ulick walked out into the garden and when he was alone called Dandaboy. He was there instantly; Ulick brought him up to date. He was dismayed.

  ‘Poor little John, my friend.’ a tear rolled down his face.

  ‘What can we do?’ Ulick asked him.

  ‘We have to find him. I’ll ask Kingpa to alert all the Raths in the west.’

  ‘Does he know your name?’

  ‘Nodie tell him.’

  While two guards stood outside, Ester made tea. Nan joined them and took Nodie in her arms.

  ‘There now love, we’ll find him.’

  Nodie was a bit more composed now.

  ‘My poor little boy, he won’t know what’s happening.’

  ‘They won’t harm him,’ Nan reassured her.

  Frankie left for the local barracks, where the search headquarters was being set up. Ulick joined Nodie and the others in the living room.

  ‘Nodie, does little John know Dandaboy’s name?’

  She was surprised by the question.

  ‘I think he does; we made up a little song about it.’

  ‘Will you write it out for me?’

  It was good to have something to do; she took a jotter from her briefcase and scribbled out the song. Ulick put it in his pocket.

  The super drafted in his two assistants. Frankie chaired a council of war in the operations room in the barracks while extra phone lines were being installed. He was furious but this was a time for calmness.

  ‘I’ve made a statement to the press and TV people, saying the child has been abducted; photos are on their way to all TV stations and the local papers. I’m offering a reward of fifty thousand euro for his safe return.’ He paused. ‘I have not mentioned the blackmail letter. Best keep it to ourselves.’

  He looked at the chief super.

  ‘Any progress?’

  Tom Lally spread out his hastily written notes on the table.

  ‘Nothing to report yet from the road blocks. It’s a bit too early. The car was seen locally; it’s a black Nissan or Toyota; could be a Mayo registration. It’s a bit sketchy; no one passed any heed of the two men. Every CCTV tape in the vicinity is being checked; it will take days. Every car will be stopped and searched.’

  The super paused. ‘Is there any question of giving these bastards what they want?’

  ‘If they get what they want they may kill the child.’

  ‘I agree, but don’t say that to Nodie; she’s upset enough as it is.’

  The super continued. ‘What we need right now is time.’

  Frankie nodded. ‘I’ll ask Nodie to adjourn the court for two weeks; the child should be safe until she hands down a decision.’

  Frankie looked around the table.

  ‘Are we agreed that Oko oil is at the back of this?’

  They nodded; he continued. ‘What do we know about Oko?’

  ‘Ulick would be the best one to answer that.’

  ‘Will you ask him to join us?’

  One of the juniors left.

  Dandaboy, sitting on the window, listened carefully to the discussion. Phones were ringing all the time. Tea and biscuits were served. Initial reports from the ring of steel suggested the thugs were still inside the cordon.

  ‘Mov
e it in ten miles,’ Frankie ordered.

  Ulick joined them.

  ‘What do you think?’ Frankie asked him.

  ‘I’ve done a lot of research on Oko; the top man is a guy called Havlec—unscrupulous, used to getting his own way. This couldn’t happen without his knowledge.’

  *

  The black Toyota car travelled south and pulled up outside an isolated holiday home overlooking the bay. John, still screaming for his mum, was carried roughly into the house and put in a small room with a bed and little else. The window was barred; they locked the door behind them. John lay on the bed and cried himself to sleep.

  *

  At the commencement of proceedings the following morning, Nodie invited Ulick and Moxy to come to her chambers. Moxy was shocked to learn what was going on; Ulick was satisfied he had nothing to do with it. Returning to court, Ulick asked for a two week adjournment which was granted.

  In the Oko head office in the Strand in London, Michael Havlec put down the phone; he was furious. The court adjournment was no use to him; did these stupid people think he was playing games? Sitting at one end of the long mahogany board table, he tried to concentrate on the report from the Ukraine.

  Then, he noticed a little man standing on the other end of the table; he began to walk towards him; he looked angry.

  ‘You bad man,’ Dandaboy was cross. ‘Where you put little John?’

  Havlec reached for the security button; assassination was his greatest fear; he had made many enemies; one day his past might catch up with him, hence his armed security. Alarm bells sounded throughout the building. Dandaboy pointed his index figure at the big man; if he knew where John was, Dandaboy would know too. He didn’t.

  The door burst open and three armed security men entered. Havlec pointed at Dandaboy and screamed. ‘Shoot him.’

  The leader, a former policeman, looked around him; he couldn’t see Dandaboy.

  ‘I don’t see anyone, sir.’

  ‘Are you blind man?’

  He never liked his boss anyway.

  ‘No sir, I’m not.’ he replied sharply.

  ‘Give me your damned gun.’

  Havlec took the gun, pointed it at Dandaboy and fired several times, while his security people looked on with amused expressions. Dandaboy stood there, the bullets whizzing through him, lodging in the wall behind him.