Avenge

by Sarah M. Ross

  Instead, I chose to use the lesser known and smaller outdoor pool that sat directly behind the pool annex. It was usually only used for people playing pool volleyball or those who wanted to lounge on a float and relax. When I walked up to it today, it was empty. I said a silent thank you and dipped my toe in to test the temperature. It was a perfect 74 degrees, and I hurried to place my goggles on my face and jump in.

  The rush of cold water surrounded my skin, reminding me of my new power. The one I hadn’t used since coming back from New Orleans. The one I couldn’t use since I was under house arrest.

  I kicked off the wall, placing my face in the water as I used my legs to power my body forward toward the other side. It came at me much faster than I anticipated since I was used to regulation sized pools, and I turned my body to head back to the other side.

  As I swam, frustration built that I couldn’t go all out like I wanted to. Every time I tried, I ended up in the shallow end in mere seconds and was forced to slow my body in order to turn again. I wasn’t able to lose myself as I completed the laps. I wanted to use the regular pool and was angry that I’d been stuck out back. I pushed myself again, wanting to use my rage as fuel for this workout, but all too soon I eased up and turned around. This wasn’t helping. All I wanted to do was let go of my anger and frustration and instead it was building.

  When I got back to the shallow end again, I took off my goggles and flung them by where I left my shoes and cover up. “Fuck this! This is ridiculous. I deserve to be in that pool more than those decrepit old farts. I need to use it now, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to hide out back like the red-headed stepchild.” I jumped out of the pool, scooped up my stuff and pushed open the gate so hard it caused a loud bang as it crashed into the wall beside it.

  A few people on a walking path near me turned to look, but when I growled at them they quickly hurried away. I entered the main pool house and dropped my stuff on the first open chair. There were about twenty people in the area, either in the pool or one of the two adjacent hot tubs. I needed them gone.

  “All right everyone, get out! This pool is now closed! I don’t care where you go, but you need to be out of this area in the next three minutes.” Stunned and surprised faces met me, but no one moved. This only further infuriated me. Did they think I was kidding? “I said GO!”

  Those in the area quickly ran to gather their belongings. When one old woman had the audacity to sit and carefully fold her swim shirt, two towels, and the macramé craft she was working on, I towered over her and growled until she moved faster.

  Finally, after a few minutes the area was cleared, and I had the pool all to myself again. I replaced my goggles and dived in, pushing myself to swim as hard and as fast as I could. My lungs ached from holding my breath for so long, but I embraced the hurt. I wanted to tire myself out as much as possible. I kicked until my legs were on fire, only coming up for air after things started to go fuzzy. I loved this workout.

  Until I felt a disturbance in the water. Begrudgingly, I slowed my pace and lifted my head to see a man climbing down the ladder to enter the pool. I stopped mid stroke and treaded water for a second.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Didn’t you hear me tell you go get out?”

  “Is that why no one’s here any longer? Gee, I thought I lucked out. Why’d you tell everyone to leave?” He took the final step, submerging himself into the water and swam up closer to me.

  “It doesn’t matter why I told them to leave. What’s important is that everyone needs to leave. This includes you. So get out!”

  The man didn’t make a move to leave, but tilted his head quizzically at me. “You know, when I was alive I worked as a youth councilor and ran a psychiatry practice specializing in teens and young adults. You seem really upset about something. Would you like to talk about it for a little bit?”

  Was this joker for real? I ducked my head under the water and let out a scream in frustration. When I emerged again, he hadn’t moved. “No! I don’t want to talk to you. Now leave!”

  “Are you sure? It would be confidential. There’s no one around but the two of us. You can say anything. I’ve heard it all, trust me. Nothing you can say would shock me. I think it might help you feel better.”

  “You are seriously dense, old man.”

  “Hey, I’m not old! I’m only 57. I woulda had a lot of time left if my arteries weren’t clogged thicker than an all girl’s college dorm shower. I so should have listened to my doctor when he told me to cut back on the chili cheese fries. Never saw that heart attack coming. Died right there in my office, sitting at my desk. I’m Terry Crow, but my friends call me TC.”

  He swam directly up to me and offered his hand, but in that moment, all I saw was red. The fog overtook me and I was powerless to stop it. I took the man’s hand, pulled him closer to me, and shoved him under the water, holding him there. I knew I couldn’t kill him (he was already dead after all), but I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to suffer and beg and scream for mercy. I wanted that control over him; I needed to feel powerful over something after having it ripped away from me.

  His arms wrapped around me and he squeezed. At first, I thought he was trying to take me down with him, or make me let him go. But it was neither of those. He was trying to give me a hug. Here I was, trying to inflict pain on an innocent man who did absolutely nothing to me, and he was giving me a hug.

  I flung my arms away from him and kicked to the wall. My hand came to cover my mouth, but couldn’t contain the cry and guilt replaced the fog and washed over me. What have I done? I thought. Oh lord, what kind of monster was I turning into?

  I pushed myself under the water and screamed as hard as possible. And when no air was left in my lungs, I stayed under and screamed some more. TC’s hands came around me once more, but this time he pulled me up. I gulped in air in between my sobs and let him hold me. We sat on the steps to the pool and he rocked me like my dad used to, soothing me and running his hand over my back gently.

  When my breathing evened out and the sobs quieted, he pulled me back to look at me. “You know, it’s not our situations—or even our actions—that define us. It’s how we overcome adversity. That’s the real key to everything.” He cupped my face and made me look him in the eye. “I forgive you. I know you don’t think you deserve it, but I do. I don’t know your situation, but I’m willing to bet that your actions today aren’t who you really are, or you wouldn’t have that pretty gold bracelet, now would you?”

  I shook my head as my bottom lip quivered. “I’m so afraid. I don’t know how to stop it.”

  “You know what they say about fear. The only thing you have to fear is—“

  “Fear itself. I know.”

  “No, spiders. Those things are creepy!” I laughed despite myself as TC tugged at my arm. “Be stronger than it. Your will is the strongest part of you, don’t forget that.” He let go of me then, and I shakily stood up and walked out of the pool. I didn’t even bother to pick up my stuff, I just headed out the door.

  I didn’t know where I was going. I couldn’t head back to the Dwelling. I needed to be alone, and honestly I was too afraid of what I might do if the fog took over again. I didn’t think I could handle it if I hurt one of my friends. That just wasn’t an option, so I stayed as far away as possible and slinked into the densest part of the wooded area.

  I found a flat, moss-covered spot underneath an old oak and took a seat, bringing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I rocked slightly as I fought back more tears.

  I sat there silently for at least an hour. I replayed everything that happened to me over the last two months and tried to think of a way out of the hole that was dug for me. TC was right, my will was stronger than the evil growing inside me. I simply needed to fight it harder.

  One thing I knew for sure was that I couldn’t be around my team and friends until I had this under control. I was too dangerous. The likelihood of hurting something or someone precious
to me was too high right now. I had no idea where I would go, but at this moment being alone under this tree, I was at peace knowing I wasn’t able to hurt anyone.

  I thought back to why it felt so good to hurt that guy. It was the most intense feeling I’d had since this whole thing started. It was euphoric, but why? I closed my eyes and put myself back in that memory. I remembered the feel of the cool water around me, splashing at my skin and the smell of the bitter chlorine as it tingled in my nose. My pulse raced at the memory, but I pushed further. I needed to get to the source of the feeling.

  I could feel my hand, gripping TC’s thick head of hair as I pushed down, imagining his pain. Suddenly my eyes flew open and I realized why the feelings in the memory were so strong. I wasn’t alone while it happened. I could feel Max. When I was doing something so horrible, I could feel my connection to Max again. It was like he was right next to me, cheering me on.

  That thought frightened me. The Max I loved would never want to inflict pain on others. Instead, he would gladly take on others’ pain if it meant they didn’t have to suffer. I knew in that moment that Max was for sure still a vampire.

  As horrible and painful as that thought was, a smile still slid onto my face. Not only could I feel Max, but I also knew where he was. I wanted to jump out of my skin with giddiness. I was going to find him! He was going to be okay, because I was going to bring him home. Nothing else in the entire universe mattered more in that moment.

  I laughed at the elation. I giggled and gaffawed until my sides hurt. Tears of happiness replaced the tears of frustration, and I rolled onto the ground, clutching my now aching stomach. I only quieted when leaves crunched around me. I stood up and hurried away, not wanting to be caught by anyone. I may have had a major breakthrough, but I was still very dangerous to anyone around me.

  I ended up at the sports storage shed that all those months ago I’d been attacked in. The irony of that wasn’t missed, but at least it was a good spot to sit and formulate a plan. I couldn’t run to Max, as much as my body wanted me to. I was one person, and he was now a vampire. He wouldn’t come with me willingly anyway. I needed to think of some other way for them to turn him back and then bring him home.

  Would I even want to? Or would the fog become stronger the closer I was to him? Would I be able to fight it? It was already so hard, so exhausting to fight against it. I wanted to give up an accept it, be with Max any way I could, but every time that thought entered my mind, my gut and chest would hurt, like I was betraying everything I truly believed in. I was being torn in two, and I didn’t know how much longer I could stay in the fight for my soul.

  It also crossed my mind that wherever Max was, there was a good likelihood that the vampire who used Jessica’s soul was there too. Was it possible for me to save them both? I couldn’t bring myself to imagine that outcome yet. I’d been burned by too much hope in the past. I needed to be cunning and strategic. I needed to be smarter than them.

  I would have liked nothing more than to go to James or Elizabeth with this new development. I knew they would have some good ideas, but I couldn’t. First, I was too afraid of hurting them somehow. But most important, I was afraid they would say no. That they wouldn’t let me go and get him back and I needed to go. I had a lock on him now. And if he moved, I’d know about it. But after the stunt I pulled today, there was no way they’d let me out of their sight again. And I couldn’t risk being a danger to them. This was all my fault to begin with, so it needed to be me who fixed it. I paced as I weighed my options and came up with a plan.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  - Cassie -

  I was madder than a wet hen. Oh, that girl was trying my last nerve by running off like that. And Adam, oh he would be getting a piece of my mind later on. I resumed my pacing, huffing and puffing every time Adam looked at me with those sweet, apologetic eyes.

  “Tell me something good, James. Tell me she’s at least all right.”

  James was furiously typing into his keyboard since he got here. When I got back with the food, Lucy’s door was closed and I stupidly assumed she was taking a nap. With Adam on the couch asleep too, I put the food in the microwave to keep warm and snuggled up beside him. We hadn’t been alone in weeks, and I was craving some time with him. But then I fell asleep too. When we each woke up about a half hour later, neither of us thought anything was wrong until I checked Lucy’s room.

  And then the bathroom.

  And then the guest room.

  I flew down the hallway cursin’ so bad my momma would have soaped my mouth for sure.

  Adam immediately called James, who called Elizabeth and within a few minutes the whole team gathered into the small living room. We’d known for weeks she was going downhill and hated when we had to resort to basically keeping her prisoner in her own apartment. But we needed to find a solution to whatever was plaguing her before we did anything else. And she was safest here on this realm—or at least I thought she was before today.

  “James, you’ve gotta tell us something. I’m dyin’ over here.” I resumed my pacing and made a pointed effort not to look at Adam. I’d forgive the dumb jock once this was all behind us and we had her back safe and sound, but those puppy dog eyes did it to me every time and I couldn’t break my anger at him yet.

  “She’s still on the realm. She left the pool house and is heading into the woods.”

  I stopped and let out a huge sigh. “Oh thank goodness. Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go get her!”

  “Not yet. We know she’ll fight us if we tell her she’s gotta come back here. And I’ve just been informed that there was an—incident—at the pool house where a Patronus scared several souls by screaming at them and growling if they didn’t leave immediately. It had to be Lucy. And that means that something’s changed and she’s worse. We need her to trust us, and knowing she won’t come willingly, what else can we do? Tie her up and make her a prisoner? She’s already been tortured for weeks. We can’t have her think we’re the enemy too.” He stopped for a second and scrubbed his hands over his face. He hadn’t shaved in days and his thick stubble was quickly turning into a messy beard. “I think the best plan of action right now is to wait. Maybe she’ll come back on her own once she’s calmed down.”

  “Can I at least call her? Tell her that she’s not in any trouble, but we’d like her back?”

  James started to shake his head no, but Elizabeth put her hand on his shoulder and stopped him. “I think it’s a good idea. We need more information, so who better to get it from than the source herself? I’ve already sent Lola and Zander to flank the perimeter of the woods where she’s holed up, and Marco is on his way to read her thoughts. If they’re darker or she’s about to do something she shouldn’t, we’ll know and be able to take action immediately. But for now, let’s see what she has to say. We need as much information as possible to formulate a plan.”

  “You’re right. If she’s afraid to come back, we can at least tell her she shouldn’t be. But I don’t want you to call her, Cassie. You’re voice will give away how scared you are right now and the last thing we need is to frighten her more. We all care about her, and this is not her fault. The fact of the matter is, she’s had a terrible introduction into being a Patronus and I’m to blame for that. I’ve done a terrible job as your leader.”

  “You hush right now, you hear me?” I put a hand on my hip and wagged a finger at him. “That girl has been through the wringer, but you are not to blame for that. And if I hear any more of that bullhocky coming from you, I’ll personally give you a butt kickin, you hear me?”

  James kept his head down, but I could see the corner of his mouth turned up to a smile.

  “And not a word from any of you about how Southern I’m becoming. Now I’m gonna text her, but I’ll make sure it transmits to you all too.” I pulled up the correct screen and texted.

  Me: Where ya at, sweets? Dinner’s getting cold.

  Lucy: Sorry, Cas. I need some time to myself.

&nbs
p; Me: You comin back soon?

  Lucy: IDK

  Me: I’m starting to miss you. Adam won’t let me paint his toenails like you will.

  Lucy: :) I need… time.

  Me: Anything I can do to help?

  Lucy: I wish.

  Me: Talk to me, sugar. You know I’m a great listener.

  Lucy: Alright. But you gotta promise to keep it to yourself for now. K?

  I looked up excitedly at Adam and James. This was a very good sign. Elizabeth motioned for me to keep going and I quickly began typing again.

  Me: Cross my heart.

  I winced at the lie but knew she’d do the same if our roles were reversed.

  Lucy: I felt him. I think I can save him, but I gotta figure some stuff out first.

  Me: OMGawd. RU serious? Details!!

  Lucy: Not yet. I need time. Just know that U all R some of the most important ppl in the world 2 me. I never want to hurt U.

  My heart broke seeing her words. Oh, I wish there was something I could do for her. Something more than this.

  Me: You never could, sweetie.

  Lucy: I gotta go. Talk more soon. <3 you.

  Me: <3 you too sugar. You let me know if you need anything. ANYTHING. I got your back girl.

  Lucy: I know U do. And I <3 U 4 it.

  “Well,” I turned to the gang who were listening in. “Now what? She said she felt Max. Does that mean he’s not a vampire anymore? Do you think that she’s going to try to go find him? ”

  Elizabeth snorted. “Knowing that girl, yes. I’m surprised she’s not halfway to wherever by now.”

  “You need to hush your mouth before I hush it for you,” I told her, which took the huff right out of her puff. I was not having any of her foolishness today. “James, what are you thinking?”

  “I think this is a good thing. We can use this. No matter where she goes we can track her, and if she leads us to Max or the other vampires, then we’ll be ready for them. Elizabeth, call the New Orleans team and tell them to be ready. We may need them as back up. I’m not about to lose this fight. And I certainly won’t be losing any more of my people.”