After Dark

by Samantha Hicks

  “I am so sorry. For everything.” Meredith took hold of her hands and gently rubbed her thumbs over her knuckles. “We need to talk.”

  “It’s okay. I know what day it is tomorrow.”

  Meredith looked away, not wanting her to see the shame she felt. Stephanie lifted her hand and rested it on her cheek, turning her head up to face her.

  “Please don’t worry. Everything is going to be fine.”

  Stephanie took her hand and led her to the dining table. She sat her down and kissed her on the forehead. Meredith noted how nicely the table was set for two. Stephanie had obviously found her good china, and a small bunch of daisies sat in the middle of the table with a candle softly burning on either side. Everything looked perfect, and the sight of it broke her heart.

  “Dinner will be about another ten minutes,” Stephanie said. “Would you like a glass of wine while we wait?”

  “Yes, please.” Meredith’s voice came out in a whisper, Stephanie kissed her on the forehead again, and then went in search of the wine.

  Stephanie came back into the room and poured them each a glass of Merlot.

  “I hope you don’t mind, I have also run you a bubble bath and lit some candles in there. By the time we’ve eaten it should be just the right temperature for you to get in and have a nice soak. And then I was hoping afterward we could cuddle up in bed and watch a movie or talk or whatever you want.”

  Meredith smiled. Stephanie looked nervous as hell and she could only guess at what she might be thinking right now. She had taken great lengths to make the perfect evening for them both. The way she wanted to take care of Meredith warmed her heart. She laid a hand on Stephanie’s forearm, running her fingers down her soft skin until she entwined her fingers with Stephanie’s.

  “This is perfect, thank you. And I really am sorry for everything.”

  Stephanie crouched down, resting her hands on Meredith’s knees. “You have nothing to apologise for. I’m the one who is sorry for not remembering what day it is tomorrow. I want tonight to be relaxing for you and if you want to talk about anything we can, or if you just want to snuggle and sleep, we can do that, too. I love you, Meredith, and I don’t want you to hurt anymore.”

  Meredith’s breath hitched, and she swallowed hard at Stephanie’s sweet words. She was such an amazing person. No matter how many times Stephanie said she didn’t feel things the way others did, Meredith knew she had never met a more open, caring, and sensitive person in the world, and she knew she didn’t deserve her.

  “I love you too,” Meredith whispered. “Now feed me, woman.” They both laughed as the tension was broken. Before Stephanie stood, Meredith kissed her hard on the lips, enjoying the reconnection of their souls.

  †

  Later that evening they were curled up in bed together. The television was on with the volume turned down low and the lights were off. The blue light from the TV cast a soft glow over the bedroom. Meredith was lying in Stephanie’s arms, and she felt contented. Dinner had been delightful, and the bubble bath had relaxed her tired muscles, and now she felt warm and satiated. Stephanie had been attentive to her all evening, and Meredith felt even guiltier for the way she had been recently. It didn’t matter how many times Stephanie tried to reassure her that everything was okay between them, she couldn’t help but feel bad for her behaviour. The conversation between them had been pleasant, with no mention of Jameson West or the anniversary tomorrow.

  “Thank you for this evening,” Meredith said as she gently drew patterns on Stephanie's stomach with her fingertips. “It was very sweet of you.” She felt Stephanie kiss the top of her head and her arms tightened around her.

  “That’s okay. I’m glad you had a nice time.”

  They settled into a companionable silence as they watched the crime documentary on the television. Meredith glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand and saw it was nearing midnight. She supposed she should be tired, it had been a long day and an extremely relaxing evening, however, she felt a buzz running through her veins. It was almost like a nervous energy pulsing throughout her body, and she realised what she was feeling was arousal. Her breathing quickened and she tried desperately to tamp down her rapidly growing desire to be with Stephanie. This was a new feeling for her. Although they had both expressed their attraction toward each other and said they loved each other, this was the first time since the kidnapping she had felt sexual desire for anyone.

  Stephanie must have noticed the change in demeanor and she asked, “Are you okay?”

  Meredith shifted on the bed, trying to cool her heated body. She thought about lying, pretending everything was fine, that she wasn’t lying here with her body on fire for Stephanie, but she couldn’t do that. She had had enough of West ruining her life. It was time to face the truth. She wanted Stephanie. She wanted to touch her, kiss her, make love to her.

  Meredith shifted again on the bed, throwing one leg over Stephanie’s lower body and leaning up on her elbow. She gazed at Stephanie, not liking the uncertainty in her eyes. Meredith leaned down and gently kissed her on the lips, and without moving a hair’s breadth away, she whispered, “Everything is just fine.” She kissed Stephanie again with more force, pushing her tongue into Stephanie’s mouth. She groaned at the contact as she slid her hand under Stephanie's tank top and gently caressed her breast.

  “What are you doing?” Stephanie pulled away, and her intent on stopping Meredith was clear.

  “I want to make you feel good, I want to make love to you.” Meredith continued to palm her breast. She kissed her way down Stephanie’s neck until she reached the peak of her breast, tonguing her nipple through the thin material of her top. She removed her hand and grasped the hem of the T-shirt, yanking it up and over Stephanie’s head. The sight before her took her breath away. Stephanie’s breasts were perfect, the skin of her abdomen smooth. All evidence of Jameson West’s torture long since healed. “You’re beautiful.”

  Stephanie sucked in a breath, gently cradling Meredith’s head in her hands, her fingers tangling in her hair.

  “You’re killing me here. We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

  Meredith silenced her by kissing her hard. After a few moments she released her mouth, and slowly she peeled away Stephanie’s sleep shorts. Her mouth watered at the sight before her. She had seen Stephanie naked before, but this was different, way different. Meredith’s blood pumped hard through her veins. She had never been so turned on in her life, not even with Kathleen. She roamed her hands over Stephanie, caressing her shoulders, her stomach, and thighs. She lowered her head and did the same with her lips. Stephanie’s body undulated underneath her.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  Stephanie captured her gaze. “I love you too. Please don’t stop.”

  “Never.”

  Her hand gently cupped Stephanie’s sex and gently rubbed in a circular motion feeling her hard clitoris against her palm. Ever so gently she inserted her fingers into the wetness and began thrusting. Stephanie threw her head back into the pillow, thrusting her hips in time with Meredith. She had never seen anything more breathtaking than the pleasure on Stephanie’s face. All too soon, Meredith could see she was reaching climax as her thrusts became more urgent and her breathing more ragged. She came calling Meredith’s name and the sound sent Meredith’s hormones raging.

  As Stephanie came down from her orgasm she reached for Meredith, kissing her hard. She began undulating on Stephanie’s thigh, her own need reaching an incredible level. Her blood pressure skyrocketed, and she was in danger of her own orgasm overtaking her. Stephanie’s hands grasped her waist, her fingertips underneath Meredith’s own T-shirt. Without thinking, she grasped Stephanie’s hands to stop any further progress, her fear consuming her. Stephanie must have sensed her reticence because she stilled all her motions.

  “It’s okay, Meredith, I’m not going to hurt you.”

  Meredith looked down into Stephanie’s eyes and saw nothing but love,
but she couldn’t do it. She shook her head as tears threatened to fall. She needed to come, wanted to come, however, she wasn’t ready to be touched. She tried to shake the fear away, but it wouldn’t leave her. It was stuck inside her, and no matter how much she trusted and loved Stephanie, she couldn’t find a way past the brick wall that had forced itself in front of her. She slammed her eyes shut, keeping the tears inside.

  “Look at me,” Stephanie whispered.

  Slowly Meredith opened her eyes and she couldn't stop the flow of tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “It’s okay,” she repeated. Stephanie gently laid her hand on Meredith’s cheek, brushing away the tears.

  Seeing the compassion and love crumpled Meredith. She fell forward, collapsing into Stephanie’s arms, crying hard. Stephanie pulled her closer still, wrapping her in a tight embrace, murmuring comforting words to her. After a few minutes her crying stopped, and she wiped at the last tears on her cheeks.

  “I can’t fucking believe this. I was so turned on I thought I was going to explode. I’m sorry I froze.”

  “Please don't apologise. I could feel how wet you were through your boxers. There’s no doubt in my mind of how much you want me. We knew this was going to take time and I’m okay with that.” She rolled Meredith over, kissing her gently. “That was the most intense orgasm I have ever had. Thank you.” She kissed her again, then pulled the discarded duvet up over their bodies. “Please don’t worry about what happened. You will know when you’re ready and there is absolutely no pressure from me for a timeline. I love you, I love who you are, and sex isn’t everything.”

  “That's sweet of you to say, but it is important. I want you to touch me. I want you to make me come. I was nearly there, and I thought I was going to die from the need I had for you. I was just overcome with fear.”

  “It’s been a tough few weeks, and it’s no wonder you froze considering the date. We’ll take our time.” A wicked smile crossed Stephanie’s face as she waggled her eyebrows. “But any time you want to get frisky with me and give me another earth-shattering orgasm, I’m all for it.”

  “I may hold you to that.” Meredith laughed as she kissed her. She scooted further down the bed and rolled onto her side, allowing Stephanie to spoon her from behind. Her arms came around her waist, and Meredith interlaced their fingers, holding her hands tight to her stomach. She might not have been able to let Stephanie touch her intimately just yet, but she knew it wouldn’t be long. Her desire to be with Stephanie was too potent, too hard to resist. And she didn't want to resist, not any longer. She fell asleep with a smile on her face, her mind filled with images of Stephanie as she thrashed around reaching orgasm.

  †

  Early the next morning, Meredith woke with a smile on her face. Her mind replayed the images of last night. Being that close to Stephanie was wondrous, she had never felt so connected to anybody before in her entire life. She stretched her body under the duvet, and at that moment she realised she was alone, Stephanie was not in the bed. She tilted her head, listening for signs of movement coming from within the apartment. She could just make out noises coming from the kitchen so she went in search of her. She found Stephanie leaning over the stove, and the smell of bacon frying made her stomach growl.

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  Stephanie turned around with a wide smile firmly in place. Meredith walked toward her. “Smells wonderful in here. Is any of that for me?”

  “I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed, but you’ve kind of ruined it by being up already.”

  Meredith wrapped her in a hug and kissed her.

  “I’m ever so sorry. I’ll go back and wait for you.” Without waiting for a reply, she gave her a quick kiss and sauntered off into the bedroom. She settled back under the duvet and waited for Stephanie. She came in a few moments later with a tray filled with bacon, eggs, orange juice, and a few of the daisies from last night in a glass of water.

  “This is lovely, thank you.” Meredith took a bite of bacon and groaned as the salty flavour coated her tongue. “Feel free to do this every day.”

  Before Stephanie could reply her mobile phone rang. “Hang on a sec.” She reached for her phone. “It’s Joe.”

  Meredith watched her surreptitiously while eating her breakfast, her nerves jangling. She saw Stephanie’s face pale and her hands shake. Her responses to Joe were noncommittal, just “Aha” and “I see.” She hung up a few moments later, and Meredith could tell something was terribly wrong. Stephanie avoided eye contact as she fidgeted with the hem of her T-shirt.

  “What is it? Is everything okay?” Stephanie took the tray from her lap and placed it on the bedside table. She sat next to her and gently took her hands. “You’re beginning to scare me.”

  After taking a few deep breaths Stephanie locked eyes with her.

  “Joe was getting ready for work and he had the morning news on in the background when the reporter’s voice caught his attention. Jameson West is dead.”

  “What do you mean he’s dead?” Meredith sucked in a breath, her eyes unable to focus on Stephanie’s.

  “Apparently, he was found in his cell last night. He had hung himself. That was all the news reports said, Joe doesn’t know anything else.”

  They sat in silence for a few minutes while Meredith tried to process it all.

  “Of all the days he had to do this, he had to do it today. Do you think he remembers it was the day he took me?”

  “I don’t think he did this because of the anniversary. From what I can gather there were other women there before you. I guess it’s just a coincidence.”

  “Yeah, I guess.” Meredith shook her head, trying to clear all the thoughts from her mind. “I’ll call Detective Walker and see if she knows anything. I can’t believe he did this. Why should he get to take the easy way out while we must live with what he did to us for the rest of our lives? It's not fair.”

  “I know. I was looking forward to seeing the bastard in jail.”

  “I’m going to go shower.” Meredith threw off the duvet and stood from the bed. She walked away from Stephanie and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She splashed cold water on her face, then leaned onto the sink. Last night had been perfect and this morning was set to look the same, but yet again, West had ruined everything. He had tainted the time together with Stephanie, and, if it was possible, she hated him even more than she already did. She was glad he was dead. Hopefully now he would be burning in hell for all the abhorrent crimes he committed against them all.

  “Meredith?” Stephanie called from the other side of the door. “You okay?”

  She dried off her face and then unlocked the door. Stephanie’s worry was palpable. “I’m fine, please don’t worry.” She wrapped her arms around Stephanie’s waist and they hugged tightly.

  “It’s over,” Stephanie murmured into her neck. “We never have to see him again.”

  Meredith wanted to believe her words, that it was finally over, however, just because he was dead didn’t mean she could get on with her life as if nothing happened. The repercussions of her time in captivity weren’t that easily healed. It was true that they no longer had to face him in court, but she still had to deal with her scars, physical and emotional. She didn't say this to Stephanie, not wanting her to worry any more than she already did.

  †

  “So, what did she say?” Stephanie asked once Meredith hung up the phone.

  After Meredith had showered and waited for an appropriate time to call Detective Walker, she wanted to find out how West had killed himself. Stephanie had tried to talk her out of making the phone call, not wanting her to be any more upset than she clearly was, however Meredith needed to know. Stephanie hoped that by finding the answers they could move on and begin their life together properly, without Jameson West ruining any more than he already had.

  “Apparently, after lights out, he had turned his bedsheets into a noose and hung himself from the top bunk. She said he left a suicid
e note saying he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life in prison and this was the only way out.”

  Meredith let out a shuddering breath and Stephanie could see she was on the verge of tears.

  “Did he say anything else?”

  “No, that was it. No mention of feeling sorry for his crimes or admitting guilt, just that he didn’t want to spend his life in prison.”

  “What do we do now?” Stephanie went to Meredith and took her hands in her own, running her thumbs over her knuckles. She watched as Meredith shook her head, her lips forming a thin line.

  “Nothing’s changed, I suppose. We still have to deal with the things he did to us and try to rebuild our lives.”

  Stephanie guided Meredith over to the couch, sitting down with her, and placing her arm around her shoulders, holding her close.

  “I think we both know I have pretty much dealt with what happened. And before you say anything, I know you think I’m still suppressing my feelings over it, but I’m not. Of course, I still think about being there, and occasionally have bad dreams, but it doesn’t affect me on a day-to-day basis. I’m just happy I found you and we love each other. I’m looking forward to our life together.” She kissed Meredith’s cheek and watched as she smiled.

  “You’re right, you have dealt with this remarkably, considering what happened there. Hopefully now that he’s gone, and we don’t have to face the trial, I can get over it sooner rather than later.” She shook her head. “But I can’t guarantee I’ll ever be the same again.”

  Stephanie cupped her cheeks, tilting her face, making sure they had direct eye contact.

  “Meredith, I love you. I love who you are now, and yes, we have some things to work through, but you are the sweetest, kindest, most compassionate, and sexiest woman I have ever known. I didn’t know you before all this happened, but I love who you are today.” She kissed her hard, trying to make Meredith believe her words through her actions. If she had to spend the rest of her life proving to Meredith that she was everything Stephanie wanted, and that there was nothing wrong with her, Stephanie would. Though Meredith carried physical scars from her time of being tortured, they did not detract from her beauty.