Cowboy 12 Pack
Page 60
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” He shoved a hand through his hair, then turned to face her. “And neither are we. That’s what I came here to tell you.”
Dear God. Her heart rocked hard in her chest. “What? That we aren’t okay?”
“Yes.”
“You’re wrong. You’re just scared.” She grabbed his arm and squeezed. “It’s okay. So am I. What we’re feeling—”
“Stop! Okay. Just stop it, Brandi.” He shook free. “I’m trying to break up with you. We’re done. You deserve better. End of story.”
“Are you kidding me?” She grabbed him again. “No way, Kade. I told you already. I deserve you. So, forget it. You’re not getting rid of me that easy. Just because you feel something is no reason to run. Whatever’s wrong, whatever’s going through that head of yours, we’ll deal with it together.”
“No.” He broke free again, then grabbed her by the arms. “Nothing is wrong except me for you. So let’s just cut our losses and move on.”
She palmed his chest. “Move on? Kade, I love you. I can’t move on. I won’t move on. Let me help you.”
“Ah, Jesus, Brandi. No. Just let me go. Quit clinging.” He pushed her away, strode to the table and cursed. “You don’t need me to be strong. You don’t need me at all.” He ran a hand over her violin and picked up her bow. “Look what you’ve accomplished. You are so strong. You’ve come so far. You don’t need me.”
“You’re wrong. I do need you. I love you and won’t let you go that easy. If you just got some counseling I’d go with you—”
“For fuck’s sakes, Brandi. Just stop!” He slammed the bow onto the table and a sickening snap resonated around them.
Her sharp inhale was nearly as loud. That had been a present from her mother.
His gaze fell to the broken bow hanging limply in his hand. “Christ, I’m sorry, Brandi. See what I mean? I’m a menace. Dangerous. You’re better off without me. Just fucking better off without me. Good bye.”
Before she could move, before she could even breathe, he’d set the limp wood on the table and walked out, leaving her as broken as her beloved bow.
Chapter Fourteen
‡
THE WEEK OF Kerri’s wedding arrived in a blur. In fact, the days since Kade had walked away all fell into each other, mostly because Brandi had been working her head off. It was either that or breakdown and cry.
So she’d jumped into her job with both feet, accepting all the work that had come her way in the six weeks that had past. No job was too little or too big. Thank God for Shayla. Boy, her friends weren’t kidding when they sang the redhead’s praises. The woman’s organizational skills and ability to multi-task allowed Brandi the opportunity to go full throttle.
Because of this, Kerri and Connor’s project was already halfway done. They had their own wing, own entrance, and construction had already started on their gourmet kitchen, and the master suite Connor had wanted once he’d seen Cole’s bathroom.
She smiled. Men. What was it with them and having sex in the shower? Of course, she’d enjoyed every bit of it with Kade…
Her heart clenched tight. Dammit. Once again, she’d forgotten. For a split second, her mind had hiccupped and overlooked the fact the man was no longer hers. Was no longer in the picture. Didn’t want to be with her. As much as she hated it, without him willing to even try, what could she do? It was hard to have a relationship when it was all one-sided. He didn’t want to fight for them. Didn’t want help. Until he did, he’d never let her in.
Tears burned her eyes and throat, but she quickly blinked them away as she walked across the street to the pub. Today was Kerri’s bachelorette party. And Connor’s bachelor party. The groom insisted on a combination of the two. She wasn’t sure why. Jordan said it had to do with something from his past. Whatever the case, it would be interesting, especially considering Kade was sure to be here. The two of them hadn’t told anyone about their split, though it wasn’t a secret. They just never said anything. And with the wedding so close, she had agreed to his request when they’d bumped into each other a few weeks back, not to put a damper on their friends’ special time. They didn’t want Kerri or Connor to have to worry about the two of them standing up together.
She’d only seen Kade alone, one other time. He’d knocked on the door the day after he’d walked out. For a brief, heart stopping minute, she’d thought he’d changed his mind. Was going to get help. Was going to let her stand by him while he got that help. Thought he’d come to his senses. He hadn’t. The sweet man had simply handed her a battered violin case.
Instead of replacing the bow, he’d gotten her a beautiful, vintage violin. He didn’t have to, she wasn’t angry. She knew it hadn’t been deliberate, a heat of the moment kind of thing, and told him as much, but he’d insisted and shoved the case in her hand, then turned and walked away. Just staring at the aged instrument, Brandi had felt the history, the affection, the story of everyone who ever owned the beauty, and chills had covered her flesh as a Charlie Daniels song had come to mind, “Talk To Me Fiddle.”
The man knew her so well. Knew she wouldn’t want a new one. He knew a loved, cherished, treasured violin was more important to her. What he hadn’t realized was how much the instrument had symbolized himself. Used, battered, bruised, but oh so loved, priceless and waiting for someone to come along and bring it to life. In the right person’s hands, a very precious gift. And he was a gift. God, why couldn’t the man see that?
She’d tuned the beauty and played it every night since.
Would today be tough? Yes. Would the wedding be tougher? Hell yeah. Would she get through it? Damn right, and her friends would be none the wiser.
Stepping inside, she pushed all sadness aside, determined to enjoy time with her friends as she was immediately hit with the delicious aroma of Kerri’s cooking. Something with garlic and barbeque and salsa. Her stomach rumbled. It hadn’t done that in weeks.
“Hi, Brandi,” Mrs. McCall said, coming up to give her a hug. “I understand you’re playing something you composed at the wedding. That is so sweet. I can’t wait.”
She smiled and nodded accordingly. “I hope they like it.”
“I’m sure they will, dear.” The woman led her toward the others at the bar having drinks. “Where’s Kade?”
“I don’t know,” she answered, as honest as possible. Her body relaxed. He wasn’t there yet. She had time to prepare and talk without the threat of tears overtaking her control. “I’m sure he’ll be here soon.”
Jordan approached, out of uniform, which meant Kade was on duty. Maybe he wasn’t going to be there after all.
And just like that, breathing became a little easier.
“Hi, Brandi. Here, let me,” her friend said, taking the purple wrapped gift from her arms to place on a nearby table laden with presents. “How’ve you been? I haven’t seen much of you lately.”
“Working.” She smiled as they walked toward the others. “With Shayla helping out, I’ve taken on two more projects.”
“Good for you,” Mrs. McCall said. “She’ll be down in a bit. Hannah and I are going to watch all the kids upstairs so everyone can have some fun.”
She nodded, already wishing she could head for the door. This was going to be a long afternoon.
The kitchen door opened and Kerri and Connor walked out with another happy couple and Mrs. Masters carrying a cute little boy.
“Oh, come on. Let me introduce you to my friends from California and my sweetheart of a godson.” Jordan grabbed her hand and tugged her toward the smiling crowd. “Shawn, Megan, this is Brandi.”
She shook their hands then turned to the little boy Jordan was now holding. “Well, hello there.”
“This is Eric.” Jordan beamed, kissing the little guy’s cheek. “He just had his first birthday two weeks ago.”
Brandi’s heart did some more of that tugging thing. She really missed Tyler. He’d been just a little older when she’d gotten
custody. Or course, he didn’t have a sprinkling of red hair.
Again, the kitchen door opened, this time Jen and Brock came out, along with Cody, who carried a plate of cookies to the dessert table. Once he set the dish down, he turned to everyone all smiles.
“I got to taste the fiwst one,” he said. Spotting Brandi, he rushed over. “Bwandi! Whewe have you been?”
Laughing, she bent down to pick the little guy up. “I’ve been working. Boy, you’re getting big.”
He hugged her tight. “Can you wowk on something at ouw wanch so I can see you?” he asked…just as Kade stepped close.
She bit back a rush of tears. Shoot. When had he walked in? Her heart slammed into her ribs.
“Hey, buddy,” he said, taking the boy from her, gorgeous, smoky gaze guarded but friendly as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.
She knew it was for show. She really did. Tell that to her jumbled heart—the sucker raced out of control. And her body? Lordy, her body rejoiced at his elusive touch. It was her hot, swollen throat and numb tongue having trouble communicating. But luckily, she was spared from having to say something, or from anyone noticing her silence, when Kevin and Cole walked in carrying a suspicious looking package wrapped in red bandanas.
A smile tugged her lips at the groom’s unblinking, wide-eyed stare. Then his gaze shot to all three men.
Kade held his hands up. “Don’t look at me. This is all them.”
“Damn,” Connor grumbled. “That makes me real nervous.”
“And so it should,” Kevin said, then his face lit up as he walked over to talk to the Californians.
A few minutes later, Shayla walked in and the mothers of the bride and groom took the kids upstairs while everyone else lined up for food.
Apparently, she was going to be spared from having to sit next to Kade as they were gender segregated. Which was good. At least she might have the ability to taste her food today.
Jordan stood and addressed both tables. “Okay, so this is how it’s going to go down. We’ll each have our own little parties, then we’ll get together for some joint fun later.”
Brandi’s insides twisted to pretty much reflect the weariness in Shayla’s blue eyes. Yeah, neither of them were up for joint fun. She knew why she was leery, but was a bit curious as to her employee’s apprehension. Granted, like her, the redhead didn’t know the couple from California, but they seemed really nice. So, what was the problem? The woman was friends with everyone, well, except for Kevin. Which was odd. The easy-going cowboy loved everyone, and everyone loved him. Except Shayla.
Yeah, okay. So, that was obviously the problem.
Pushing all thoughts aside, she concentrated on the guest of honor, laughing, eating, joking with the others. And if her gaze strayed to the guy’s table and lingered on a certain sheriff, then it was just a coincidence, but acceptable since they were still supposed to be a couple. The knot in her stomach tumbled. He looked tired, and haggard, and she longed to touch him and ease the tension from his body. And hers.
Cripes. She was such a Kade whore. But, damn, her body had blossomed under his touch and gone without for far too long. Being in the same room, so close, her good parts tingled to life and need slammed into her, hard. Dammit.
Did he feel it, too?
As if sensing her, his gaze lifted, and for a wonderful moment their connection sizzled, tripping her pulse. But then his expression closed, and she could no longer feel his warmth, just a stark, cold reality. She shivered and rubbed her arms.
An hour and a half later, with food, games and presents all checked off the list, including a bandana wrapped box full of rubber rattlesnakes for Connor, Brandi made the mistake of thinking the party was over.
She should’ve known better when there were McCalls involved.
“Okay,” Jordan said, rising to her feet once more. “Now it’s time for some joint fun. Since there’s an even number of guys and girls, we’re going to do some fun couples games. Sorry, Kevin and Shayla, yes, this means you’ll have to put your differences aside and get along for the next half hour.”
They weren’t the only ones.
Her gaze met an apprehensive gray one. Yeah, he was thrilled, too.
“Ah hell. Can’t you give a guy more of warning? I would’ve brought my cup,” Kevin stated, amusement lighting his blue eyes as he grinned at the redhead.
Shayla groaned and stood. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I need to go check on my daughter anyway.”
“Oh no you don’t.” Kerri jumped to her feet and blocked the exit. “Mom just texted and said all of the children were just fine. So relax. Besides, it’s only one game. And it’s not even really a game. More of a…” She paused as Jordan bought out a covered tray from the kitchen then lifted the lid to reveal Kerri’s famous stuffed strawberries.
No. She couldn’t do it. Not a…
“Joint dessert,” their host finished.
As everyone oohed and aahed, Brandi and Shayla groaned.
“So, girls, grab your strawberry, and guys, grab your girls and enjoy,” Jordan finished with a smile.
“I just remembered,” Kevin said. “I’m allergic to strawberries.”
The redhead snickered. “Figures.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That you’ve still got your panties in a bunch.”
No one moved—or breathed—as everyone watched the exchange, then raised their brows when the cowboy strode to the tray, plucked a strawberry and gently placed it in Shayla’s opened mouth.
“I’ll show you bunched panties,” he stated just before he cupped the woman’s face, bit into the strawberry, and kissed her shocked employee, long and thorough and slow.
“Damn,” someone said.
A second later, people were grabbing strawberries and partners and sharing a very hot cold dessert. A stuffed berry was shoved into her hand. Oh boy. Her stomach fluttered at the thought of finally sharing the decadent dessert with Kade.
He stood in front of her, staring at the strawberry, then her mouth. Heat flooded her body in a wave of need too big to withstand. She swayed forward, unsure how to proceed. God, she couldn’t kiss him. She’d never stop. And she couldn’t not kiss him, not without tipping their hand.
Heart pounding in her chest so loud she swore they could hear it in the next county, Brandi watched as Kade lifted the dessert to her mouth and slowly leaned in. Heaven help her, she wasn’t going to survive.
As the strawberry touched her lips, his radio went off.
He stiffened, dropped the dessert into her hand and stepped back. “Got to go.”
Disappointment flittered through his gaze dark with longing, and a pain so fierce it hit her like a physical blow. She sucked in a breath and stumbled slightly, grateful no one had witnessed her lapse.
A moment later, he was gone. That was the second time a stuffed strawberry went unshared between them.
“I’LL TELL YA, buddy, I can hardly believe the day is actually here,” Connor said, standing in front of a mirror at Wild Creek, doing a piss-poor job of knotting his tie.
Kade watched his friend fumble for another minute before he took pity on the guy. “Come here. Let me do it before you choke yourself.”
The groom twisted around and dropped his hands. “Thanks. I’m all thumbs today. I just want everything to go right for Kerri. She deserves a perfect day.”
He nodded, making quick work of the knot. “And it will be. My deputy helped plan everything. Trust me. Things will be great.”
Connor’s chuckle filled the downstairs guest bedroom the groom and his groomsmen were using since the bride and her bridesmaids were upstairs in the couple’s new suite. “True, Jordan’s certainly whipped my brother into shape.”
“Hey.” Cole rose from a chair, frown disappearing into a broad smile. “You’re right. She did.”
Kevin stepped to his boss and slapped his shoulder. “Would that be with, or without, handcuffs?”
As the younger McCal
l’s smile broadened, his cousin’s disappeared. Kade snickered along with Connor. Never a dull moment. His buddy slipped into a black suit jacket and turned to check in the mirror.
“Damn.” A lop-sided grin tugged the groom’s lips. “I don’t clean up half-bad.”
“Which means you don’t clean up half-good, either,” Kevin pointed out, to which Connor flipped him the bird. “I’ve no idea what Kerri sees in you.”
His buddy’s expression turned serious. “Me either. But I’m one lucky son-of-a-bitch. It just takes the right woman to make you see it. Ain’t that right, Kade?”
Heart rolling in his chest, he nodded. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about the right woman. He knew he had been lucky to have her, but he also knew Brandi deserved a hell of a lot better. Still, it didn’t mean it didn’t rip his guts out every time he saw her face.
“So, are you going to be the next one to take the plunge?” His friend smiled.
Now his rolling heart ceased in his chest. Christ. Would the ache ever stop? He forced thoughts of pain from his mind and lips into a smile. “Let’s just worry about you today, buddy. You got the rings?”
Connor nodded, then patted his pocket, a panicked expression crossing his face as he patted the other one. “The rings! Where are the—”
“Relax, bro. I have them, remember?” Cole came up behind the groom and handed the cowboy his Stetson. “It’s all good.”
Stiffness melted away and an easy grin crossed his buddy’s face. “Okay, then. Let’s go get me hitched.”
As he stood outside on Wild Creek soil, staring at a make-shift gazebo similar to the one used at Cole’s wedding, decorated in white and purple, Kade mentally braced himself for the onslaught of emotions he knew were heading his way.
Brandi.
She was scheduled to play a song during the wedding, but not at the beginning. Right now, the march sounded from the speakers set up around the backyard. Which meant…he had to escort the beauty down the aisle.
Touch her.
Breathe her.
Be near her.
Christ. He just had to get through this day. One day. He could do it. Wouldn’t be near as tough as that damn stuffed strawberry at the bachelor party a few days ago. Hell, that had sucked. The temptation of tasting the hot, sweet, incredible woman again had been too much. And, Jesus, he’d certainly failed that test.