Cowboy 12 Pack

by Cynthia D’Alba, Paige Tyler, Elle James, Donna Michaels, Shoshanna Evers, Randi Alexander, Cora Seton, Beth Williamson, Sabrina York, Sable Hunter, Lexi Post, Becky McGraw

  She pressed her fingers to her lips then dropped her hand. “We just—”

  “We live in different worlds. That’s the problem.”

  “No we don’t. We live in one world, where you and I are the only people who matter.”

  He shook his head. The only person who mattered was Reno, and her happiness depended on her moving on. “You’re destined for greater things than a tour bus and a windowless dressing room.”

  “Drake told you that, didn’t he.” Her eyes narrowed and she fisted her hand. “He is full of shit, Chase. I never wanted to be part of the literary elite. Never. That’s what he wanted for me. What he thought was best for my writing.”

  She stepped forward, gripping the purse against her body. “Don’t you think I know what’s best for me?”

  He looked into her hopeful eyes and saw her lip trembling.

  Her pain stabbed him clear through what was left of his soul.

  “You already live in that world, Reno. You’re a teacher now. Prairie Fire is still on the New York Times bestseller list. Your career is taking off.”

  Reno reached for him. “No, Chase—”

  He stepped back. “We’ve moved in different directions.”

  Loud giggles sounded from the next room, and Reno turned her head toward the noise.

  Chase looked at the door of his makeup room. Damn. He had to use every dirty trick to convince her. He brushed past her and strode toward the room with the prostitutes. “You want a glimpse into my life, Reno?” Steeling his resolve, he opened the door and looked back at her.

  Reno’s face turned red as she stared into the adjoining room.

  “Are you ready for us now, Chase?” The hooker’s words were followed by more giggling.

  Straightening her back, Reno stomped right up in his face. “I see what you’re doing, and it won’t work. You’re just like Drake, aren’t you? You think you know what’s best for me.” She poked one stiff finger into his chest. “Well that’s bullshit.”

  He stared at her. She never swore before. He’d brought that out in her—him and his bad habits. He tipped his head down, hiding the pain in his eyes. “You need to move on with your life.” He forced the biggest lie of all to his lips. “I have.”

  Her breathing stopped for a long moment. “I can’t. I’m…”

  He set his jaw, waiting for her to finish, waiting for her to try just once more to convince him, to find something that would make him change his mind. But they weren’t alone.

  Her hollow stare followed the blondes as they strolled into the room and stood on each side of him. Their hands stroked his arms and chest. Reno looked at him with an intensity that shook him soul-deep. “I love you Chase. I always will. Think about that as you move on with your life.” She turned and walked out.

  He watched the door swing closed behind her. He couldn’t breathe. Love? She loved him? Oh shit. How would he live this empty existence knowing she loved him? Because, damned if he didn’t love her, too.

  The ladies pressed into him, sandwiching him between them, their perfume choking him, threatening to make his stomach revolt. He considered it, the mind-numbing relief of sex, the peaceful glide into sleep after orgasm. He had no interest. Since he walked away from Reno, there’d been no one else. As gently as he could, he herded the girls back into the makeup room. He’d wait ten minutes until he was sure Reno was gone, then he’d have his bodyguard send them home.

  Falling like a rock into his chair, he looked around at his empty dressing room. He’d gotten rid of her, all right, and she wasn’t coming back. Only feet separated him from seven professional musicians, thirty-nine Tanner Touring employees, and eighteen thousand fans, but he was absolutely alone.

  A hollow ache, like a deadly heart attack but not as merciful, started in his chest and spread through his body. Would he ever find anyone else like her? Did he even want to try?

  *

  RENO STAGGERED OUT of Chase’s dressing room, pain clawing at her chest, the surreal scene burned into her memory. She stopped and looked around the dark backstage area. Which way had she come in? She’d been so excited to see him, she’d barely paid attention.

  The massive guard outside the door stepped toward her. “Are you staying for the show?”

  “No. I’ve seen all I can stand for one night.” Tears choked her. “Would you please tell me where the loading dock is?”

  “Down that ramp.” He gestured to her left. “Are you okay, miss?”

  She forced a smiled as tears traced down her face, making a liar out of her. “Just fine. Thanks.” It was nice that someone cared, but not the right someone. She headed carefully through the dimly-lit backstage area, her new cowgirl boots clicking loudly on the concrete floor. Catching a glimpse of the stage and the arena, she stopped to look out at the chattering crowd filling every seat of the sold-out venue.

  So many fans worshiped him. Didn’t he see what a profound impact his words and music had on the world? His charitable donations alone could support an entire city. He was a good, conscientious person. Why did he think he was a detriment to her career? Was it whatever Drake said to him? That wasn’t like Chase. He was strong and determined. He cut his own path through the world.

  As she walked, she thought about every story he told her about his parents, his childhood, his lucky break in Nashville, and his last girlfriend, the pretentious bitch. What wasn’t he telling her? What linked all the troubled pieces of his past together to make him incapable of reaching out and grabbing happiness for himself?

  When she located her car, she leaned against the door for a minute and dug her keys out of her purse. Maybe she’d never know what drove Chase to do the things he did, but she didn’t have time to waste on it right now. She reached down and touched her stomach. Six months pregnant.

  “Little one.” She spoke to her rounded belly. “That was your daddy.” Two months ago, she realized that, duh, no menstrual cycle and a swelling tummy meant “baby on board.” She’d covered it up pretty well in France, but just recently, her body changed a great deal, and she started showing out front. The Sorbonne was probably glad to be rid of her. Not only was she depressed, lethargic, and sick to her stomach during the day, but at night, she wouldn’t go out for drinks with the faculty, or let them show her the sights. Worse, she’d set a bad example for the students—no wedding ring.

  She slid into the rental car and started it then pulled out a map of the US. Chicago to South Dakota. A long drive. She’d stop for the night before it got dark then push herself tomorrow and try to make it in one day. Her own bed and her favorite pillow after four months would be a dream come true. As she pulled out of the arena, the hot June sun blinded her for a moment. When her eyes adjusted, she scouted for signs directing her to Interstate 90 which would take her all the way home. She’d call her family tomorrow and let them know she was on her way. She smiled. Wait until her mom and brother saw her. They would shit circles around themselves.

  She jumped onto the freeway and set the cruise control. There were a couple hours of daylight left. If she could find a last reserve of energy, she’d make the most of it before she found a nice hotel. Just a half hour ago, she’d been planning to sleep with Chase tonight. She’d imagined his joyful face when he saw her, his ecstatic surprise when he saw her stomach. His finding the best seat for her to watch his concert, then afterward, whisking her off to start their life together as a family. But instead, he’d tried to shock her out of his life.

  So, why had he sent the birthday card? He hadn’t responded to her in months. Why didn’t he just let it die? She almost had, but two weeks ago, when she received a special delivery package from Texas, she thought it was his way of testing the waters, seeing if she was still interested. Her heart had soared, the baby had kicked and wiggled, and she’d jumped online and looked up his tour dates. Chicago, on his birthday, two days after she finished her course at the Sorbonne. It was Fate aligning all the stars. “Ha!”

  Spotting a safe-looking
hotel with a restaurant, she gave in to her exhaustion. She exited the freeway, pulled into a well-lit parking lot, and turned off the engine. Then broke down crying. Why did he lure her back to him only to send her away again? Chase had no idea what he wanted, but she knew, and she was prepared to wait him out. She touched her stomach where their baby girl slept. What choice did she have?

  When she dried her eyes and got checked into her room, she ordered room service, then picked up her phone and dialed Tracy. She didn’t want to be alone tonight, even if it was just a friendly voice from across the country.

  “Hi, Reno. Still in France?” Tracy’s lovely, cultured voice soothed Reno and she lay back on the stacked bed pillows.

  “No.” She swallowed twice, trying to keep in the sorrow, but it burst from her anyway. In jerky sentences, she explained what had happened with Chase at the arena.

  “The bastard! He saw you pregnant and still trotted out the whores?”

  Reno sniffled, the worst of her misery gone now. “No, I kept the baby hidden.”

  Tracy was silent for a moment. “Where are you now? Are you someplace safe?”

  “Yes, I’m safe. I’m in a hotel outside Chicago. I’m going to drive home tomorrow.”

  “No. You’re not.” Typing sounds clattered through the phone. “I’m coming to get you, and I’ll drive you home.”

  Reno sat up. “No, Tracy. I’ll be fine.”

  “Reno. You’re in no shape to be driving yourself cross-country. I have a week off. I’m home in Montana visiting my mom, and there’s a flight leaving for Chicago…at six tomorrow morning. I’ll be there before you have to check out.”

  “Really, you don’t have to.” The idea of her friend coming all that way, changing her plans, warmed her thoroughly.

  The typing stopped. “I know I don’t have to. I want to.” She took a loud breath. “Please let me do this for you.”

  Reno choked in a breath herself. “Okay. I’d love to have you with me.”

  “Good. We’ll take it slow and make the drive in two days. I’ll stay with you when you face your family, if you’d like.” Tracy started typing again. “Now, which hotel are you staying at?”

  A smile split Reno’s face. This amount of happiness felt almost foreign right now. “I don’t actually know, but hang on and I’ll find out.” Reno dug in a drawer, looking for the hotel’s name and address.

  Tracy laughed. “Crazy woman.”

  Crazy? After the last six months, it would be easy to let herself linger on her problems, drive herself mad. She had a baby girl to think about, though. She needed to prepare for the baby and find a way to introduce her to her daddy. “Unfortunately, Tracy, I have no time for crazy.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  ‡

  TRACY ARRIVED THE next morning, as promised. She pulled Reno into a hug then backed away a step to touch her baby tummy. “Look at you.” Her eyes shone with excitement. “Just a few months ago we were running wild in LA. Now you’re going to be a momma.”

  “Thank you for coming.” Reno woke with her blood pressure closer to normal knowing she wouldn’t have to make the drive alone, or tell her family alone. “I didn’t know what to do next.”

  “First, we need to get on the road, then we have to talk about what’s going on with Chase and figure out a plan.” She put her hands on her hips as if ready for battle.

  “No plan.” Reno bent to pick up her suitcase, but Tracy lightly slapped away her hand and hefted Reno’s bag and her own.

  “You’re just going to have this baby alone?” They walked out of the hotel to the rental car.

  “I just need some time to let life settle down so I can sort through everything.” Reno eased into the passenger seat as Tracy put their bags in the trunk.

  Tracy pulled the car onto the freeway and headed west. “I understand completely. That’s why I went home for a week.” She slid on her sunglasses. “I’m just not sure where to go with my career right now.”

  Reno appreciated the opening to talk about something other than her own situation. “Are you considering doing music videos?”

  Tracy jerked her gaze to Reno’s, her brows lifting above the dark glasses. “How did you know?”

  She answered with a shrug and a smile.

  Looking back and forth from the road to Reno, Tracy frowned. “I’ve known about it for months, but just received the contract from my agent last week. There’s no artist named, just an agency.”

  “So, you don’t know who the musician is?” Reno kept her voice light as she wiggled to get comfortable in the seat.

  “What aren’t you telling me?” Tracy’s brows dropped then lifted again. “Chase?” She grinned. “Is Chase hiring me to be in one of his videos?”

  Reno had no choice, now. “No. It’s Steele.”

  Tracy froze for a moment. “Steele?” The word came out slow and breathy.

  Waiting for her friend to absorb that news, Reno tipped her head back on the headrest.

  “I don’t know what to say. I mean, he’s hot and gorgeous, but…wait.” Tracy pulled off her sunglasses and pierced her with a glare. “How do you know this?”

  “He dropped by Chase’s ranch.” The memory of those perfect days sent a hollow feeling to her heart. How had things gone so wrong between them?

  Tracy laid her hand over Reno’s. “Sorry, sweetie. I remember how excited you were back then. The possibility of a new relationship. Then that stinking jerkwad—”

  “Hold that thought for another time.” Reno didn’t need to get herself worked up any more than she already was after yesterday. “Now that you know it’s Steele, are you going to make the music video?”

  “I really don’t know. Filming won’t start for another four months, and I haven’t had many other offers in the meantime.”

  “That’s why you went home?” Reno stifled a yawn. “To re-evaluate the direction of your career?”

  “Sort of.” Tracy tipped her head back and forth. “Not really. I mean, I know once Prairie Fire is released, I’ll have more options.” She puffed out a breath. “I hope.”

  “You will. You were amazing, Tracy. Oscar caliber work.”

  She smiled as she changed lanes, and a light blush colored her cheeks. “Thank you. But until then, I have offers for commercials and the music video, but I’m not sure if I should go that direction.” Tracy frowned. “Do I wait for another film or take whatever work I can get to keep my face out there in the public?”

  “My advice, prefaced by the disclosure that I have very little knowledge of the film industry…” She turned in her seat, facing Tracy. “As a consumer, I’d view your doing a music video as a starring role. Much more prestigious than commercials.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m thinking.” Tracy looked at her. “Wait a minute. You’re just trying to set me up with Steele, aren’t you.”

  “Maybe a little.” She made a silly face. “You two would be good together.” Reno set her hand on her stomach where her baby wiggled and kicked.

  “I’d be willing to get to know him. But if all country music superstars are alike…”

  “Everyone has their issues, superstar or not, but I can guarantee there’s no one out there like Chase.” Frustrating, loveable, stubborn, fabulous.

  Tracy looked at Reno’s hand on her round belly. “Is she moving?”

  “She’s dancing in there.” Reno took Tracy’s hand, placing it on her stomach.

  “Wow.” Her voice was quiet.

  “So you’ll do the music video?” Reno could barely keep her eyes open.

  After a silent minute, the baby stopped moving and Tracy took back her hand. “I’ll think about it. As long as you promise not to matchmake.” She gave Reno a wide-eyed look. “Wait, did Steele ask you about me?”

  Reno groaned and closed her eyes. “Let me nap a few minutes then I’ll tell you the whole story.” She hadn’t slept well last night, and the baby needed a healthy mommy.

  She drifted down into slumber with Chase�
��s cold expression staring at her from under his cowboy hat. He’d said, “We’ve moved in different directions.” Maybe he’d moved on, but she was still heart and soul in love with her cowboy. How long would it take before she could move on?

  *

  FOUR MONTHS LATER, Chase finished his tour. It was so popular, he’d extended it to twenty more cities, and he felt worse than exhausted, he was damn near used up.

  After a thirty-seven hour nap, he sat by the pool at his Texas home strumming his guitar and waiting for the sun to set. A warm October breeze ruffled the pages of his notebook, but words wouldn’t come to him. Notes wouldn’t form into music. He was dry as southwest Texas. It had been this way since…Reno.

  He’d tried dating a country singer, but she couldn’t snap him out of his writer’s block, and when he’d admitted he wasn’t interested, sexually, she’d called him a freak and stormed out. It hadn’t hurt his feelings. Hell, he couldn’t feel anything but a cold, dark cave where his heart should be.

  He needed to start working on his new CD, and his agent hounded him for some new songs, begging him to commit to hiring writers.

  The chords he strummed sounded familiar. He kept at it for a while then stopped. Shit, he was playing Prairie Fire. Reno’s song. It hurt to even think of her, and the song brought back every memory. Would probing this ache help him figure out why he was blocked?

  After taking a long draw of cold beer, he played the song. He made it through the first verse, but the words were different and he wrote them down. The next verse came out changed, and that was better, too. He played the song twice more, writing down the new words, adding additional verses, and picking out a better modulation and bridge. Now, this was the old Chase, everything flowing together, coming to him easily.

  He played it once more, singing the new words. It was good, now. Really good.

  Flipping his notebook to a new page, he wrote the title of a song he’d been messing around with for a few months. Sidewinder. The words came slowly and didn’t make sense right away. “He’s a snake, but she called him her hero, he’s lowdown deadly, but she picked him up anyway.” Another song about him and Reno. He glanced out over the endless dark blue sky. That’s what he’d been missing in his songwriting. He’d been blocking Reno out when he should have been letting her in. Letting his pain guide him.