The Unforgettable Wolf

by Jane Godman

  Nate gazed at the beautiful face on the pillow next to his. Should he tell her what he suspected, and what Ged seemed so sure of? He was afraid that, if he did, it might do more damage to her memory. He had tried researching this dilemma online, but there didn’t seem to be any consensus. He wanted to know for sure what would happen if one told someone suffering from memory loss a shocking fact about themselves. If, for example, they believed they were human and he told them they were a werewolf. Would it help their memory to return, or could it drive it away forever? Could it send them into a state of emotional shock so deep that they might never recover? Nate couldn’t find the answer to those questions and, until he did, he wasn’t prepared to risk it.

  He wondered if Violet had noticed the clues about herself. There was that incredible appetite of hers. Violet was always hungry. And usually for meat. The guys on the tour bus had started to joke that Nate hadn’t wooed her with chocolates and flowers. They said he must have turned up at her door with a pound of rare hamburger. Then there was her energy. She needed to run. Not jog. She had to run flat out for miles each day, but the exercise never tired her. Now she wanted to go to the forest.

  Wolf signs. Can’t you see them, Violet?

  He was aware of Violet scanning his face as if she was trying to read his thoughts. “We can go to the forest.”

  “We met in a forest.” Her expression was guarded. “Do you ever wonder why I was there? Why I was naked?”

  “Of course.” Maybe she had been able to read his thoughts. Perhaps his expression had given them away. That certainly seemed to be where this was heading. “It was hardly an everyday situation.”

  “Do you think I could be a werewolf, Nate?”

  And here it was. The question was out in the open at last. The truth. That was all he could offer her. “It has crossed my mind.”

  “You hate werewolves.” Her voice was very small.

  “I don’t hate you. I couldn’t if I tried.” The words were such an inadequate expression of everything he felt for her. He wanted to draw her into his arms, but he sensed she wasn’t ready for that right now. “Do you think you’re a werewolf?”

  “I think I might be, but, if I am, I’ve lost it.” She flapped a hand in a helpless gesture as she tried to explain what she meant. “It’s gone, along with my memory. If I’m a werewolf, I’ve forgotten how to wolf.” Tears sparkled on the ends of her long lashes. “But, deep inside me, I feel things that make me think I’m missing a part of myself.” She moved nearer, resting her head on his shoulder. “If I’m a werewolf, I’m a broken one.”

  Nate held her close. “Then we’re two of a kind. I’m a broken human. The difference is, you can be put back together again. I might be past repair.”

  “Might be?” He was caught in the intense violet-blue beam of her gaze. “That means there’s a chance you can be fixed.”

  As she reached up and drew his lips down to hers, Nate realized she was right. He had admitted there was a chance. For the first time ever, he had seen a glimmer of hope in his future. The problem was, that glimmer depended on one thing. It relied on a future that contained Violet. And that was by no means guaranteed.

  * * *

  They walked for miles through the Forêt de Bouconne, leaving the paths and making their way through the denser trees. Violet was drawn to a meandering river and led Nate along its banks, pulling off her shoes and rolling up her jeans so she could paddle in its crystal waters. Later, they followed a steep incline and sat on a rocky ridge, enjoying the views across the surrounding valley.

  There was something missing. This forest wasn’t right, but she couldn’t say why. Oh, it had all the right ingredients to make it a forest. Ancient skyscraper trees reached high into the cloudless sky. It was wild, yet peaceful. Its shades were leafy green, bark brown and silver birch. Its carpet was pine needle and primrose. Its scent was resin, fir and wild garlic mingling with the clear tang of fresh summer air. Its sound was silence, punctuated occasionally by a bird call or the subtle rustle of forest creatures lurking in the bushes.

  It was a forest in every sense of the word, but it wasn’t the forest her body craved. Deep within her, there was a longing for a darker, denser place. A woodland where she could lose herself. Her imagination knew it well, conjured it until she could almost believe it was real. Otherworld. Did it exist beyond her imagination?

  “If you believe you might be a werewolf, why not try to shift?” Nate’s question interrupted her daydream.

  Was she brave enough to do this? She was half seated, half lying, propped between his legs, with her back against his chest and her arms resting on his raised knees. She turned her head now to look up at his face. “Because I’m scared.”

  “What of?”

  She hesitated. If she gave him an honest answer, she gave him everything. She gave him her heart. Was she ready to do that? In the end, she decided he probably already knew how she felt. “I’m scared of what it will do to us.”

  She held her breath, waiting for his response. This was his chance to say “There is no us” or “You’re right, I can’t be with a werewolf.” Nate did neither of those things. He kept his gaze fixed on hers. “From the first moment I saw you, I thought you might be a werewolf. That didn’t stop me falling in love with you.”

  Her lips formed into a soundless O of surprise. “You love me?”

  “You must know I do.” His lips were feather-light on her temple.

  Her throat tautened with tears. “I guess I hoped you did, but I couldn’t understand how you would.”

  He tightened his arms around her. “I don’t think we get to understand love.”

  “I know I love you and nothing will change that.” She rubbed her cheek along his jaw, and then stopped.

  Wolf gesture. I do wolf gestures.

  “We don’t know what the return of your memory will bring.” She hated that note of sadness in Nate’s voice. “As much as you love me, there may be someone you love more.”

  Not someone, somewhere.

  The thought was crisp and clear, jolting her out of the sweet, warm bubble of his love. There wasn’t someone she loved more than Nate. But maybe there was somewhere she needed more than here. No. She pushed the intrusive idea aside. She could overcome these longings for a place she didn’t know. A place that might not exist. This was where she belonged now. With Nate. At his side. What had happened before didn’t matter. They could make new memories together. Even as the thoughts came tumbling along, a strange fatigue followed in their wake, as though challenging her to try to feel normality in a place she didn’t belong. It was as if the Fates were laughing behind their hands at her attempt to fit in here in his world, prodding her with these feelings of tiredness and insecurity whenever she began to feel comfortable.

  A contrasting surge of restless energy drove her to her feet. “Let’s go.”

  Nate gave a mock groan. “You’re too fast for me.”

  Laughing, Violet caught hold of his hands, pulling him to his feet and propelling him along with her as she broke into a run. Slowing her pace so Nate could keep up with her, she ran back down the ridge and into the shade of the forest. High above them, green garlands of leaf and branch formed a protective canopy, almost shutting out the freckled blue of the sky. Leaving the moss-veined trail, she plunged deep into the trees, brushing past clinging vines and berry-encrusted bushes. Nate crashed behind her, panting now as she picked up the pace, spurred on by the scents of mulch and resin. Finally, she halted in the darkest place she could find.

  Could she shift? Where should she start? Closing her eyes, she tried to find that place deep inside herself, the place where she felt something was missing. That was where her wolf self must be. She could feel Nate’s presence close by, could sense the watchful guardianship of the forest. The woodland itself was like an elixir to her, spurring her on. She had no idea how to do this, but so
mething within her triggered a series of prompts.

  I am human and wolf. Both are equal. I do not have a hand. I have a paw. I do not have a nose. I have a snout. I do not have skin. I have fur. The chant became woven into her psyche, no longer separate words. Simply part of her thoughts. She felt something inside her give way...shift.

  After a few minutes, she opened her eyes, expecting something to have happened, some change to have occurred. There was nothing. She looked exactly the same. But I felt it. I felt a change.

  The only difference she could feel was taking place inside her body. Every nerve ending was buzzing, alive with an urgency that had only one focus. It was dark here, and seductively enchanting. She turned to face Nate, her back pressed against the crinkly bark of a tree, her eyes shining.

  “It’s like our own secret place.” Slowly she began to unbutton her blouse.

  “Here?” He was still breathing hard.

  The blouse slipped from her shoulders. “Remember the night you found me naked in the woods?”

  Before she could say any more, Nate had closed the distance between them and was pushing her hard up against the trunk of the tree. Although his breathing was still labored, Violet had a feeling it was now for a different reason. His hands pushed the blouse the rest of the way down her arms until it fell to her feet. As his lips found hers, he lifted her so she could wrap her legs around his waist.

  Violet clung to him, something about this place calling her, driving her. “I couldn’t shift. I may not know if I’m a werewolf, Nate, but maybe now is the time to find out?” She nipped a line along his collarbone with her teeth. “Don’t be gentle with me. I want this to be wild...”

  “You want wild?” She barely recognized his voice as he fisted her hair into a ponytail and yanked her head back. “I can give you wild, Violet. Just be sure you know what you’re asking for.”

  Chapter 10

  Nate couldn’t describe the blaze of emotion storming through him as he gazed down into Violet’s eyes. A lone shaft of sunlight had stolen through the branches to illuminate the scene, highlighting the excitement on her face. It matched his own. God help me, this is the wildness I have tried so hard to hide. Something within Violet had found these animal urges deep inside him and released them. A chord inside her perfectly matched one inside him. Their souls were in tune. And this place, these sights and scents and sounds, had fanned the flames of desire that already existed between them until they blazed out of control.

  Violet’s fingers gripped his biceps as her head tilted farther back, exposing the vulnerable curve of her neck. She shuddered, then cried out when Nate lowered his head and scraped his teeth over the tender flesh.

  His lips covered hers. His tongue sweeping into her mouth and meeting hers, caressing it, luxuriating in the sweet, wild taste of her. She tasted like summer meadows and freshly ripened berries. Violet murmured against his lips, and a growl emanated from his chest—a sound he barely recognized—as he released her hair and moved to caress the soft swell of her breast above the lacy cup of her bra. She whimpered, pressing into his hand.

  His lips left her mouth, moving along her jaw to her collarbone, sucking and licking until he reached her breast. Her nipples were rock hard, jutting against the soft lace. She trembled in his hold, her body arching toward him as a desperate moan left her lips. Her nails dug circles of fire into his arms.

  He tugged her bra cup down, and the first touch of his lips on her nipple had her writhing in desperation. Nate’s thigh slid smoothly between her legs, and she tightened her muscles around him instantly.

  “Nate.” It was a cry of need as he sucked her sensitized flesh into his mouth. His tongue rasped over the hardened tip. He nibbled at her as she clenched on his thigh, silently begging for release.

  “Please, Nate.” Her eyes were dazed in the half-light.

  This pulsing, throbbing need was intensifying, consuming them both. “My God, Violet. What is this? What are these feelings?”

  “I don’t know.” Her voice was a soft moan. “I only know I never want this to stop.”

  She moaned again as his thumb raked her nipple before he covered it with his mouth once more. Her hands went to his hair, holding him close, as this time his tongue stroked her gently. She squirmed, pressing her lower body tight against the hard bulge that threatened to burst the zipper of his jeans. The scent of her arousal was overpowering him. So hot and sweet. His need for her was like spiraling flame consuming him.

  Violet was shaking wildly. “Take me now, Nate. I can’t wait any longer.”

  Nate lowered her to the mossy leaf-strewn carpet. The moment her back touched the ground, he moved over her, his lips taking hers. Violet’s tongue responded eagerly to his, and his lust spiked again, reaching a new high. He was like a drug addict and Violet was his fix. He couldn’t get enough of her. But it was working both ways. Violet’s hands gripped his hair painfully, keeping him tight to her as his mouth devoured hers. As their tongues mated, Nate tugged aside the rest of her clothing, scouring her delicate flesh with his blunt nails, delighting in the shudders that raked her slender body.

  She twisted beneath him, panting like a wild animal. Her fingers clawed at his clothes, and Nate assisted her by pulling them off and throwing them aside. His thighs parted hers, and he moved a hand to cup her breast, still kissing her. He licked and nibbled at her lips, drawing her tongue into his mouth and sucking on it. Violet arched closer, the naked softness of her mound pressing against the throbbing length of his erection. A low rumble of pleasure started somewhere deep inside Nate’s chest.

  He bent his head to lick her breasts, and she cried out. Moving his hand between her parted thighs, he pressed two fingers into her hot, narrow entrance. Violet tensed around him, her eyes closing and her head falling back.

  “Open your eyes.” His voice was raw with the intensity of his emotions.

  Indigo heat glittered between her half-open eyelids as she watched him raise his glistening fingers to his lips. With a growl of pleasure, he licked her juices from his fingers. “You taste so sweet. Nothing ever tasted as good.”

  “Nate.” Her head thrashed from side to side. “Stop torturing me.”

  He smiled, feeling his jaw muscles tight with savage lust. “Prepare for a little more torture, because I’m going to devour you, Violet.”

  He edged down her body, pausing over her sex, and her hips jerked toward him. He used his fingers to spread her wide, gazing down at her heat-glazed flesh.

  He rasped his tongue along the length of her slit in a slow, erotic motion, delighting in the way she melted into him. His hands gripped her thighs, holding them apart to stop her locking them around his head.

  Nate hummed a low moan of pleasure, feeling Violet buck in response as he closed his lips over her clit. He licked her there once before dipping his tongue into the tight entrance of her vagina, swirling inside, gathering more of her delicious taste as his heated growl of pleasure vibrated against her.

  He could feel the sensations building in her. She was shaking all over, the tension in her muscles increasing as he returned to lick her clitoris again, sucking the tiny bud into his mouth.

  “Oh yes, Nate. Just like that.” Violet was gasping out words of need as she writhed against him.

  Her body tightened, every muscle straining toward his mouth. As she tensed, Nate slid one finger past the delicate folds of her skin. His mouth continued to suckle her, and he drove his finger into her, hard and fast.

  Violet screamed as pleasure overcame her. Her hips bucked uncontrollably as her climax tore through her, flinging and shaking her body around like a rag doll. She held tight to Nate’s hair as she shuddered through the ferocity of it. He kept his lips on her, feeling the hot relief spasming through her muscles, causing them to clench and unclench around his finger.

  As the shudders subsided, he reached into his discarded jeans,
grabbing a condom and slipping it on. He moved over her, his hands lifting her as the thick head of his cock rested against the entrance to her vagina. One quick, hard thrust buried his steel-hard erection in her to the hilt. Nate closed his eyes, savoring the moment, his body tense and tight with pleasure.

  She was so hot around him, her muscles gripping him like a glove. This raging beast within him was insisting that he take her hard, fast and fierce. Violet was demanding the same. She was thrashing beneath him, grinding her pelvis against him, driving him as deep into her as he could get.

  He eased back, groaning at the unbelievable rush of pleasure from the friction of her flesh resisting him. He thought nothing could feel better. He was wrong. When he thrust back inside her tight depths and her heated muscles clasped him, he thought he might go insane with the sensations flooding through his body.

  Nate gritted his teeth as he braced his body over Violet’s. Her hands went to his shoulders, her nails clawing at his skin. The added sensation of the sharp pain shocked him. His cock swelled further in response. A growl left his lips, and he bent his head to nip her collarbone, hard enough to sting. Violet gave a gasp, and he saw her eyes darken.

  “Yes.”

  The knowledge that she wanted that pain-pleasure feeling, too, sharpened his own enjoyment. Nate drove into her faster and harder, one hand moving under her shoulders, lifting her breasts to his hungry mouth. Her nipples were rock hard as he feasted on them, catching at them with sharp teeth while her nails raked his flesh in time with each nip.

  He was getting close. He could feel tingling, fiery fingers tracking down his spine, tensing his buttocks and tightening his balls. It was too much, and it tipped him over the edge. He slammed inside her. The pleasure was unlike anything he had ever known. Violet’s body arched, her eyes widened, and she stared at him in confusion before her second orgasm hit. She clenched around him, drawing him into her and holding him there. Nate was tipped off balance as his body followed hers. With a harsh growl, he was ripped apart by a climax so extreme there was nothing he could do except surrender and cling to Violet.